by Teri Wilson
He gave it another try.
I love her, Lord. Please give me the chance to tell her.
And I want to make things right between You and me. I just don’t know where to start.
What was wrong with him? This all used to be so easy.
An old-fashioned streetlamp bathed the churchyard in a soft, warm glow. Ben spread his Bible open on his lap and squinted at the tiny print. He’d flipped to the nineteenth chapter of the book of Psalms, which seemed as good a place to be as any. The dim light made it a challenge to read, but he was able to make out the words on the page.
“‘The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the end of the world.’”
Ben lifted his gaze to the sky, searching for something, anything that would reassure him. All he saw was a vast expanse of black velvet night. If it proclaimed anything, he couldn’t understand it. It only made matters worse that Clementine was somewhere in that sky, headed not to Nome, but back to Texas. Over three thousand miles away.
The thought brought a bitter taste to his mouth.
He slammed the Bible shut, stood and wandered away from the light of the streetlamp. He waded through the deep snow of the churchyard, his feet disappearing with every step until he stood at the base of the steeple. The cross at the top looked small and far away from such an angle, and Ben could barely see it. This struck him as profoundly sad. He squeezed his eyes closed.
God, if I can’t find You here—really find You—I don’t know where else to look.
His heart pounded a furious beat of desperation. He could feel the final threads of his resistance coming loose at last. It scared the life out of him. In that moment, Ben wanted nothing more than to turn around, get back in the car and drive away. But his love for Clementine kept him rooted to the spot. And the aching need he’d carried inside for so long—the need to get his life back—drove him to his knees.
He sank into the snow. He was half-buried and freezing, but he no longer cared. He dropped his head in his hands and cried out, with everything he had.
“Help me, Lord. I want to trust You, but I can’t do it on my own. I need Your help. I need You.”
The air around him stilled. He lifted his face to heaven, opened his eyes and was filled with a sense of wonder so deep it rocked him to his core. A luminous arch of crystal blue light stretched across the sky. Tiny whispers of pink tinted its edges, reminding him fiercely of Clementine. The colors intensified, rolling like smoke.
Ben couldn’t move. All he could do was stare and hope that what he was seeing wasn’t a dream.
The blue ribbon of light waved and danced and was quickly joined by a larger fluorescent glow of deep violet. The violet light arced upward before broadening until it fell across the night. A magnificent, shimmering purple veil.
Frigid wind blew across Ben’s face, reminding him this was really happening. It wasn’t a dream.
“The auroras,” he whispered, his voice breaking with emotion.
He’d seen the Northern Lights before, but never like this. They’d always been beautiful, and had been known to come out of nowhere, decorate the sky and disappear in a matter of minutes. But the timing of this display was in no way coincidental. This time the lights seemed to shine just for him.
He watched in awe as more ribbons of light swirled and danced before his eyes. Undulating bands of yellow, orange and dark red appeared, drawn by God’s fingers. Each color shined with the fullness of His mercy. The rays bounced off the white walls of the church and the surrounding snow, casting vivid shadows in every direction. Ben was plunged into a kaleidoscope of color.
A sense of utter tranquility washed over him, along with the unwavering knowledge that everything was going to be all right. He was kneeling in a cathedral built by God Himself, the night sky a window of stained glass.
The words of the Psalm he’d read rose in his heart.
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
“Thank You,” Ben said, with tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “Thank You, Lord.”
He stood and reached a hand toward the sky. He’d never felt so tall, like if he reached high enough, he could touch the faraway cross atop the steeple, glowing faintly gold against the spectacular light of the auroras.
And standing there, beneath the wonder of a sky lit with the promises of his Savior, Ben finally came home.
* * *
Clementine tightened her grip on Nugget’s dog carrier and made her way off the plane and onto the tarmac where she was hit with a blast of frigid Nome air. She’d been somewhat prepared for the below-freezing temperatures—well, as prepared as a Texas girl could be—but hadn’t realized how remote the small Alaskan village was. As the plane had lifted away from Aurora, the city lights were soon replaced with tiny dots of orange far below. The pilot explained they were small campfires glowing in the bush, the only signs of civilization in the remote areas of Alaska that could only be reached by plane or dog sled. The campfires belonged to the mushers of the Gold Rush Trail who also were making their way to Nome. As the plane climbed higher, the glowing dots of orange had grown even smaller until they disappeared entirely.
Nome itself was nothing more than a small scattering of lights. Clementine felt as though she were stepping off the plane and into another world.
She’d barely crossed the threshold into the tiny airport when she was greeted with a familiar face. “Clementine?”
Relief washed over her when she spotted Sue Chase. She’d felt so alone. Seeing a friend now was just what she needed. “Sue?”
“Hi. I was just here checking on one of Reggie’s dropped dogs.” Sue’s dark eyes twinkled when she spoke of her husband. “I suppose Ben is picking you up?”
Clementine bit her lip. “He doesn’t exactly know I’m here.”
Sue’s smile grew wider. “Well, isn’t he in for a nice surprise?”
Her words warmed Clementine’s heart. She hoped they were true. “Thank you. Ben’s a very special man.”
“Reggie and I certainly think so. Can I give you a lift to your hotel?”
“Thank you. I’d like that.”
They chatted like old friends on the way to town from the airport. In a way, Clementine felt as if she’d known Sue for years. She told Sue how Reggie had shared the Bible verse with her at the Gold Rush Trail starting line and how it had planted the seed for her to stay in Alaska for the end of the race.
“That’s my Reggie.” The affection Sue felt for her husband showed in her smile.
Only then did it occur to Clementine how difficult it must be for her, knowing her husband was trekking across the frigid Alaskan wilderness with little more than a sled and a pack of dogs. “I’ll bet you miss him when he’s out on the trail.”
“I do.” She nodded. “But he’s doing what he loves. Mushing is a part of him, just like Ben. I know he’s upset about Kodiak, but I can’t tell you how happy I was to hear that he’s mushing again. It’s been a long time coming.”
Clementine stared quietly at her lap.
Sue took a sidelong glance at her. “God will restore Ben’s lost years. Have faith.” Sue reached over and squeezed her hand. “It will happen.”
Clementine let her gaze wander out the window. As if it were putting an exclamation point on Sue’s promise, an elegant white steeple rose above the sleepy town of Nome. Its winsome beauty took her breath away.
As they drew closer, Sue pointed to the spire. “That’s Nome Community Church. It was built in 1901. Back then, Nome was the biggest city in Alaska.” She chuckled. “
Hard to believe, right?”
Clementine thought of how tiny the community looked from the window of the plane and was ready to agree, but her attention was suddenly drawn to a lonely figure standing in the churchyard. “Is that…”
Her heart thundered as she clutched Sue’s arm and cried, “Wait.”
She would have known the powerful set of those shoulders anywhere. The man standing in the dim light of the church’s lamp was Ben. And a familiar-looking dog Clementine never thought she’d see again sat by his side.
Moose?
“Oh, my.” Sue pulled the car to a stop on the side of the road. “That’s Ben, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Yes, it is.” Clementine was already buttoning her coat and gathering Nugget’s dog carrier in her arms.
“What’s he doing at the church this time of night?” Sue glanced at her watch. “It’s nearly one in the morning.”
“I don’t know, but would you mind…” Clementine heard the longing in her voice and hoped Sue did as well.
“Of course not. Get out of here. Go to him. Shoo.”
Clementine scrambled out the door, but not without first giving Sue a quick hug. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” She grinned, leaving Clementine with the certainty that the two of them were sure to become close friends. “Stay warm out there. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Clementine lifted the fur-trimmed hood of her parka and watched Sue drive away before turning toward Ben. His back was to her and his face was tilted toward the sky. Even from where she stood, she could tell he looked different somehow. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Then his face shifted, ever so slightly, and she saw the unmistakable look of peace on his ruggedly beautiful features. She paused to drink in the sight of him looking so calm and serene, the opposite of the way he’d looked when she’d last seen him. It brought her such happiness that her heart clenched.
“Ben?”
He turned, and the look of tranquility on his face was instantly infused with joy. The fact that he seemed happy to see her was not lost on her. “Clementine?”
She nodded. “I’m here. In Nome.”
He shook his head in apparent disbelief. “How did you know I was here at the church?”
“I ran into Sue at the airport and I saw you when we drove past. I asked her to drop me here.” The impulsiveness of her actions filled her with sudden shyness. “I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course it’s okay. It’s more than okay.” He held his arms out wide. “Get over here, you.”
Her feet crunched through the snow with ever-increasing rapidity until she realized she was running into his arms. She landed in his embrace with her head against his shoulder. He dipped his face toward hers and pressed a kiss against her cheek.
He whispered her name. “Clementine.”
He said it again and again. “Clementine, Clementine.” It was a lullaby that soothed every worn place in her heart.
“Welcome to Nome,” he whispered and smoothed her wayward curls away from her eyes with his free hand.
Although reluctant to leave the shelter of his strong arms, she pulled away slightly to face him. “You brought Moose.”
“I sure did. Someone told me recently I was in need of a sled dog.” He glanced down at Moose and grinned.
“And Kodiak?”
“Kodiak is doing great. He’ll come home as soon as I get back to Aurora.”
“Good. I know you told me not to come, but you know how I feel about obeying orders…” she started. But before she could finish he pressed a cold fingertip against her lips to quiet her.
He smiled, his eyes full of tenderness. “I’ve never been happier to be ignored in all my life.”
“I got your package with the pictures and the coat.” She spun a quick circle, modeling the parka for him. “And the plane ticket. I had to come. Thank you.”
He cradled her face with frigid fingers.
Clementine covered them with her own gloved hands. “Ben, you’re freezing. How long have you been out here?”
He laughed. “Long enough for God to finally get through to me.”
Such an answer was the only thing that could explain the newfound peace about him. Still, she hesitated to rejoice. She wanted nothing more than for him to come back to the Lord. Come back with his whole heart. The idea that he finally had seemed almost too good to be true. “What happened?”
He ran a hand through his windblown hair. The tips of his ears were bright red. His cheeks and nose, too.
Windburn, Clementine realized with a pang. And suddenly she could picture it, plain as day. Ben in some remote bush village, warming his hands over a campfire, gathering straw for his dogs. Mushing into Nome.
Hope rose in her soul, and she listened to what he had to say.
“I didn’t trust Him. Not really.” The corner of his mouth turned down. “I’d been praying more. Reading my Bible. But I wasn’t ready to let go. I thought it was all up to me, that I could control my life.”
It was hard to hear, even though Clementine had known that was how he felt. “None of us are capable of such a thing.”
“I know,” he whispered. The gravity in his blue eyes told her it was true. “I came here looking for an answer. At first, I didn’t think anything would change. Then I got down on my knees to pray…”
His voice broke, and with it, a tiny piece of Clementine’s heart. She pressed a hand against his chest and felt his heart beating furiously within. Strong, steady, with brand-new purpose. “Go on.”
“And when I opened my eyes, He showed me.” He looked up at the sky and his lips curved into a broad smile. “The auroras were here.”
Clementine gasped and followed his gaze. She saw only the same bright scattering of stars she’d seen in Aurora. The Alaskan sky was gorgeous, filled with starlight the likes of which she’d never seen in Texas. But tonight it wasn’t stars she was looking for. “The Northern Lights. I missed them?”
“They’ll be back, don’t worry.” He reached her face and ran his thumb in soothing circles over her cheek. “You’ll see them someday.”
The way he looked at her with such love in his gaze made her yearn for him to stare at her that way forever. Now even more so than before. Now his was a godly love.
She trembled at his touch. His fingers were so cold that she was beginning to worry about them. She took hold of his hand, turned and pulled him to follow her. “We’ve got to get you inside. You’re going to freeze to death.”
He pulled against her. “Wait.”
“This can’t be good for your frostbite.” She turned around, ready to drag him to the car. But when she did, it looked as though he had no immediate plans to leave.
He was lowering himself to one knee.
“Ben, really, can’t you pray at the hotel?” She gave his hand a gentle tug.
“I’m not kneeling now because I want to pray.” With deliberate slowness, he slid the glove away from her hand. He fixed his gaze on hers, brought her hand to his lips and kissed each of her fingertips.
Clementine could only watch as blissful pleasure, such as she’d never known, took root in her soul. Ben paused for a beat, just to look at her, and she was glad. She wanted to capture the moment—a mental picture, one to rival all the countless beautiful images she’d seen in her life.
At last he spoke. “Clementine, sweetheart, will you marry me?”
“Yes.” The word bubbled up her throat. She wouldn’t have been physically able to say anything else. “I would love nothing more than to marry you.”
He stood, wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “I have another important question to ask you.”
“Yes?” It was all she could say. Yes, yes, yes.
He drew back and lifted an inquisitive brow. “How would you feel about being a musher’s wife?”
“I think I could grow accustomed to that.” Her lips curved into a smile that she doubted would ever go away. “There were so many sled dogs at the shelter. Maybe we could go back for them. I could help you train them for racing.”
“Naturally.” He pushed the hood of her parka away from her face. The arctic wind whipped through her hair, but she felt comfortably warm. “Do you think the magazine would let you work from Alaska?”
She shook her head. “I’m leaving the magazine. I’m tired of looking at life through photographs. I’m ready to build a real life for myself…for us. Here.”
Us. She loved the way it sounded.
“So you want to train sled dogs now?” His grin grew tenfold. “We’ll be a team. Husband and wife.”
“Good answer,” she murmured as his lips came down on hers.
It was a poignant kiss, full of hope and promises. As her lips touched his, Clementine thought she could see their future stretched out before her, as wide and limitless as the Alaskan sky. The kiss left nothing unsaid. Every small movement of his lips told her exactly how much he cherished her. When at last they broke apart, and Clementine’s eyes fluttered open, she fully expected to see stars.
Still, the spectacle that greeted her when she lifted her gaze to the sky made her gasp.
She didn’t see stars. Not this time. Instead, the sky was awash with brilliant color. Glittering purples and blues, moving and dancing to some unseen rhythm. One that played for a musher and his bride-to-be.
Epilogue
One Year Later
Clementine refilled her tray with foam cups of steaming hot chocolate and grinned at Anya. “Everyone says the hot chocolate is better this year than ever before.”
“Don’t be silly. Hot chocolate is hot chocolate.” Anya waved off the compliment. She’d made the trek from Aurora to Nome for the end of the Gold Rush Trail, as had most everyone in Aurora.
Clementine doubted there was a soul left in the small town. Then again, this year was special. And not just because of Anya’s gourmet hot chocolate.
