“Yes. I do.” The confidence in his voice threw me. It was my turn to be puzzled.
“My mother died when I was very young. I never knew her really, so it’s a bit different for me. Talking to family about her makes her come alive for me somehow but still it’s tough because it reminds me how much I miss having her.”
I felt a surge of relief at his words. “Exactly. Nobody loved my dad the way I do, nobody loved me the way he did, so I feel so alone in the way I miss him. I wrap it all up inside – and it’s like choking me, killing me. Tonight, crying like that, it felt awful, but really a relief at the same time.” I halted, afraid that once again I had revealed too much.
“How about your mom? Can’t you talk to her about it?”
“My mother died when I was a baby. I never knew her. That’s one reason I came to Samoa. So I could get to know her family and maybe know her. Some stupid idea that’s turned out to be.” My tone was harsher than I had planned as I thought bitterly about my aunt’s welcome reception at the airport several weeks ago.
He swatted away a buzzing mosquito before replying.“So Samoa isn’t exactly turning out to be what you planned. And your family here? Who are they?”
I smiled. Only on an island with a population less than two hundred thousand people would someone ask such a question and have every intention of knowing who the heck I was talking about when I answered.“My aunty Matile and uncle Tuala – they’re the Sinapati family. We live just round the corner from the stadium, Apia Park.”
He nodded, confirming suspicions. “So, do you have tons of random cousins living with you? Our extended family living must be kind of a shock for a spoilt only child like you.” His teasing grin softened his jibe.
“Hey watch it, I can still take you on you know! Spoilt only children are infamous for their tempers. Actually, they don’t have any children of their own and nobody stays with them but me. There’s always cousins coming over though from next door, round about meal time. Aunty Matile is a major grouch but she’s an amazing cook. Especially when you’re used to living on fast food. Me and Dad, we weren’t much for cooking. But we had the Chinese takeout number on speed dial.”
This time he laughed with me, the sound quickening my heartbeat, giving my pulse a hop, skip, and jump. Did this boy even know how gorgeous he was when he laughed?
“Glad to hear that at least the food is to your liking. And how are you finding SamCo?”
I wrinkled my nose as I tried to sum up the contradictory experiences of the first month at Samoa College. “Umm, it’s okay. I thought I would hate it but it hasn’t been too bad. I went to a girls’ school back home and so having boys around has been an adjustment. I can honestly say though that this school has been the least painful to be the new kid in. Teenagers here are so respectful compared with back home. Everyone is polite and listens to the teachers – it’s a little freaky – but it does make life a bit easier when you’re new midyear.” I shuddered, remembering some of my long-ago horrible first weeks at Washington Girls. “It’s nice not to be the only Samoan in a school. Back home, I got a lot of crap because of my mixed parentage.” I paused and took a huge breath before continuing. “Which is why I was a little sensitive about the whole ‘pure’ Samoan thing in the debate and maybe kind of overreacted to your comments a little bit.” I said the last part cautiously and he smiled hugely in return.
“Why Leila, if I didn’t know better, I would say that almost sounded like an apology! Damn, that fall into the pool must really have shook you up because I NEVER thought the most hostile girl in school would ever say anything nice to me. Maybe I should throw you back in – when I pull you out again I might even get an apology for the sexist attack in detention today.”
I grinned ruefully. “Okay, okay, you got me. I was kind of a little rough on you that first day in English. ”
He interrupted incredulously. “You think?! And today? How about today? Come on, don’t stop now. Let’s keep this confession ball rolling. You were unnecessarily mean to me today, especially considering I was only trying to be helpful. Admit it, I was right, you had never used a bush knife before. Come on, say it!”
Shaking my head and laughing at his eagerness to catch me out, I conceded. “Alright, so you were right. I had never used a machete before, but that didn’t give you know-it-all BOYS the right to laugh at me, or to assume that I couldn’t learn to use one.”
“The only reason we were laughing at you, silly GIRL, is because you were so stubborn trying to FAKE that you knew what you were doing when you had no clue and then to take that stubbornness to the point where you were willing to risk chopping your own leg off just to prove your point, argh! Leila, you’re lucky I took pity on your beautiful legs and stepped in to give you a grass-cutting lesson, IN SPITE of your meanness!”
His reference to my legs had me tucking them in further underneath my wet towel but he seemed oblivious to my self-consciousness.
“But I’m willing to forgive you, as long as you promise never to pick up a bush knife in my vicinity again. Oh, and the next interclass debate we have, I want to be on your team. There’s no way I want to face you on the debate battlefield again.”
Again, we laughed together in the forest night and I had to shake my head at the ridiculousness of it all. Here I was sitting in the mud in the dead of night with the Head Boy, Chunk Hunk from school, wearing nothing but my underwear. And a wet towel, I amended. Yup. Definitely heart attack material for my grandmother if she could see me now. I smiled to myself and was rewarded by an answering grin.
“I like that.” He said quietly.
“What?”
“When you smile.” His face was serious now.
His words set my pulse racing again. Suddenly, the humidity seemed overpowering, the air so thick that I couldn’t find enough air to fill my lungs. I looked away, tugging my towel closer and sitting up a bit straighter.
“I haven’t had a lot to smile about lately, so I’m a little rusty.”
As if sensing my need to create space between us, he stood and walked a few steps into the water to bend and wash water onto his forearms before turning to throw me another dazzling smile.
“So, Samoa isn’t exactly making you feel the love?”
“Oh it’s alright. I’ve dreamed about coming here for years and the reality is a little different from the fantasy you know?”
“What are you finding the hardest to deal with?”
“Where shall I start?! My family here isn’t exactly thrilled to have me. Then, there’s definitely the heat. I thought I could handle it, but lately, I don’t know, I feel like I’m constantly running a fever or something.” I shook my head thinking again of the panicked heat attack that had driven me to this pool in the first place.
“That would explain the midnight swim then?”
“Yeah I come here every night now, once I’m sure the house is asleep.” I sat bolt upright as I realized that I had to have been gone for well over several hours now. Standing hurriedly, I gathered up my shoes and clothing. “Ohmigosh, I better get back. My aunt will really deport me if she finds out I’m roaming around in the bushes like this and having a rugby chunkh – I mean, a boy in the area won’t help.” I stumbled over the words as my first inclination had been to call him what I’d been calling him ever since the first day I’d seen him at school.
He didn’t seem to notice my slip up. Rather he had a speculative look on his face as he stood in the pool, water midway up his thighs. “So, I guess I’ll see you at school then, Leila.” He smiled one more time, before turning to dive into the water, the diamond splash leaving me feeling a little deflated.
That was it? I watched him lazily stroke his way towards the falls and then turned away to stumble through the forest back to the house. My excitement faded, replaced by a hollow disappointment. We talk, we share stuff. What was that anyway? I cry all over him. He comforts me. We seem to connect and then a casual goodbye? Shaking my head, I crept into the bedroom, than
kful that Aunty was a deep sleeper. I was sure I wouldn’t be able to sleep after the night’s events, but once changed into dry clothes, I was out as soon as my head touched the pillow. And thankfully, it was a sleep unplagued by strange dreams.
The familiar rooster woke me early the next morning. Thinking back to the night before, it still seemed so surreal, especially in the light of day. I was distracted as I dressed for school. I took far more care with my appearance than normal but then how much care can one take with a school uniform after all? The strict rules about makeup and jewelry left me experimenting with 101 different ways to tie back my difficult-to-manage hair. I politely refused breakfast on my way out to catch the bus.
I kept mulling over my conversation with Daniel. There was no denying it, he had surprised me. I had written him off as a brainless jock. Arrogant and brazen in his demi-godness but last night? He had been kind. In my limited experience, most boys would have run a mile at the sight of a girl falling apart in a tears-fest. But he had kept me company through it. He had been sensitive. (I almost cringed using that word to describe him – it was so at odds with his seeming abundance of testosterone.) And then after, when we had stared at each other like that. Had he felt it? That electricity? That same breathlessness? Somehow I doubted it. I didn’t know many boys but I was pretty sure that ones who looked like he did NEVER had trouble with feeling overwhelmed in the presence of a girl. But at least, he didn’t seem to be repulsed by me and my far from perfectly made-up state last night. I held onto the memory of him telling me he liked my smile. I was aching to find out what he would do when we saw each other at school. It wasn’t the largest campus so it would be unavoidable. And we did have Geography together. I was nervous. What would he say? What would I say? A sick pit opened in my stomach as I wondered, what if last night was just an unusual diversion from his usual? What if he wasn’t really like that at all? What if he was only talking to me because he had felt sorry for my pitiful state? What if … the pit yawned wider into a gaping chasm … he made fun of me today? Regaled the entire First XV rugby team about my breakdown? My skinny, awkward body in all its semi-nakedness? What if everyone at Samoa College already knows what a joke Daniel thought I was?
The bus lurched to a halt at the school gates. I was frozen in my seat. What had I been thinking last night? Opening myself up to a total stranger like that? I had been stupid. So stupid. There was no other explanation. I steeled myself and stood. I knew with dead certainty that this day would not go well. But I had endured worse. If I could take on the finest teenage crap that Washington D.C. had to offer, then I could surely take on what I was sure was waiting for me. Head held high, face set in stone, I got off the bus and walked straight and tall up the long driveway.
Sinalei called out my name, “Leila hey! Wait up.”
She ran over to me, breathless and smiling. “Hey. You walk so fast! What’s the rush? Bell won’t go for ages. Did you do the Math homework? I hope Mr. Michaels doesn’t want to check it today, because I didn’t finish. The last two problems were crazy hard … ” Her voice chattered on and on.
I relaxed a little with relief. This one person at least wasn’t waiting to discuss my Daniel episode last night. Together we walked the rest of the way to the school block, Algebra being the only topic of conversation. That is, until we came in sight of the rugby field. Sinalei broke off mid equation to heave a long sigh. “Ohhh boy. Don’t you just loooove the way Daniel dresses for training - or rather, undresses!” she hid a giggle behind her hand.
I didn’t want to look. I wasn’t sure what to expect. But against my will, I turned.
The team had training every morning at 6:30am, before the day heated up. Right now they were doing lineout drills. They had their backs to us but it was easy to see which bronze body was Daniel’s. He stood at the sideline, holding the ball high above his head with the others lined in front of him. Once again, he wore nothing but a ragged pair of drawstring shorts, hanging low on his hips. The sun glanced off the gleaming dips and hollows of his muscled back, the swell of his shoulders as he tensed and threw the ball. His target missed the catch, players scrambling everywhere after the ball. Shaking his head ruefully at their clumsiness, Daniel turned away from the field for a moment, in time to catch sight of us … looking at him.
I froze. This was not what I had planned. I didn’t want him to know I was obsessed with looking at him for goodness sake! I was furious with Sinalei but before I could turn angrily and stalk away, Daniel threw us a huge grin. And waved. Before turning to chase after the team and the errant ball.
Sinalei squealed, “Did you see that? He waved at me! Oh he is sooo fine.”
I mumbled something about needing to get to class and took off, Sinalei having to skip to make up the distance covered by my much longer legs. I didn’t want to hear her rave about Daniel.
The last thing I wanted was to hear someone else obsess about his perfect body. I was doing enough of that lately in my mind already. I didn’t want her to see my flushed face and suspect that he was anything more to me than morning eye candy. She must have sensed my lack of interest in pursuing a conversation about Daniel because she cheerfully changed the topic somewhat.
“So, Leila – tell me, what are the boys like back home? Huh? Did you leave a boyfriend behind?”
I rolled my eyes at her in answer, trying unsuccessfully to hide my look of disgust.
“No.” my tone was short. “Remember I told you I went to an all girls school, Sinalei. The only boys I ever came across were the jock heads from the brother school across the road when we had combined sports activities.”
“So you didn’t have a boyfriend then?” her dogged persistence had me suspicious.
“No. Why?” I almost glared at her. She looked taken aback at my hostility.
“Umm … just asking. We watch a lot of movies about dating in America. You know – stuff like going out on real dates … and those wild parties where everyone seems to be taking their clothes off … all the proms and balls.” Her eyes took on a starry look. “We don’t have those here. And forget about going on dates. No Samoan father’s gonna let his daughter out of the house with a boy alone like that!” The mere thought of it had her pealing with laughter.
I smiled back, relenting my earlier hostility. I needed to ease up. I was so used to being on the defensive, to being the butt of jokes and rumors that I was out of practice just having a regular girl conversation.
“Oh, you shouldn’t believe everything you watch.” Waving one hand airily. “Sure, there are some wild parties – but not everyone goes to them. And as for the whole dating thing. It’s highly overrated.” I didn’t want to admit that I had never been on a date in my life. Far better to let her think I was a world-weary seasoned professional at the dating scene.
My step lightened as we made our way into Math class, Sinalei taking the seat next to me as the bell rang for first period. I was thankful the US Math curriculum was light years ahead of Samoa’s as I hadn’t even glanced at my homework the night before. It wasn’t a problem, however, to skim the questions and be prepared with an answer when Mr. Michaels called on me. He hated it when anyone asked a question, so there was never any discussion in his class. Math period would consist of him telling you what pages of the textbook to read, what problems to solve and then dead silence while he walked around the room holding a long stick to monitor our progress. A fly buzzed loudly in the corner while we made our way through a page of algebraic functions. I sent Sinalei a sympathetic look as she struggled with the problems that only took me a few minutes. I made a mental note to offer to help her after class. The new re-invented me was nice to people.
There was a collective groan of relief as the bell rang for next period. I gathered my books slowly, dragging my feet, unwilling to face what lay ahead. I had Geography next. With Daniel. I whispered his name in my thoughts, dreading being in the same room with him, unsure as I was about his take on the previous night. So he had
smiled and waved this morning. Big deal. He was probably exulting in the juicy gossip he had to share with his teammates, several of whom would also be in Geography. I wished I could cut class. But, unlike back in the States, there was nowhere here to cut class to. This school had no shopping mall nearby. No maze of busy streets to get lost in. Just tennis courts and rugby fields. And I really didn’t want a repeat of yesterday’s Hard Labor punishment. Nope. There would be no escape for me today.
I said goodbye to Sinalei, who had Chemistry next, and made my way to Mrs. Jasmine’s class. She hated it when students were late so I quickened my footsteps. Last thing I wanted was for her to pick on me today of all days. I was sure I would have enough mocking eyes on me already. My tension grew as I walked to the door, steeling myself so determinedly for whatever lay ahead that, by the time I entered the classroom, I was raging mad. From many years of experience, I knew the best defense was often offense. I strode into the room, emanating hostility into the furthest corners, a thunderous look on my face. Mrs. Jasmine looked a little taken aback as I pulled out a chair to sit at the front of the room.
Telesa - The Covenant Keeper Page 10
