Nafanua interrupted then. “I think we’ve all heard enough family history for one night thank you Sarona. We are done here.”
“Oh, but I don’t think we are. I think Leila wants to hear everything, don’t you Leila? After all, isn’t that why you came to Samoa in the first place? To know your beloved mother, to find your family” an expansive sweep of her arms at the circle of telesā, “and to discover your beginnings? So you could, umm let me think … in the words of that oddity, a gifted white man, ‘Know thyself … and to thine own self be true’!” Sarona circled slowly, enjoying every minute of her performance. And against my will, I was caught captive. She was right, because, here at last, on this dreadful night, I would finally find everything I had been looking for – the truth. And the longer I could distract this psycho from Daniel, the more chance I had of saving him. I sent a quick glance sideways to where Daniel lay on a moonlit ocean. Patience Leila, patience, be strong, breathe, you will need all your control if Daniel is to live through this night.
“So there you were, one big happy family in that little house beside the sea. Oh that week was hilarious. Nafanua kept taking you to the water, trying to see if somehow, something of Vasa Loloa had rubbed off on you. But alas, nothing. Not a single smidgeon of anything. Not even a hermit crab scuttled to your beckoning fingers! And you had nothing of matangi either. Such a disappointment … tsk, tsk. Imagine her disappointment. A telesā with a gifted son that she didn’t want, a daughter with no visible traces of any gifts at all AND a tiresome husband who was enthralled with the both of you! Oh, now don’t misunderstand me, it has been known to happen before, at some point to all of us. I think we’ve all given birth to daughters who were useless. No gifts at all. Right?” She turned for affirmation to the others, everyone nodding in assent. Everyone except for Nafanua, who stood like stone, impassive and immovable. “It’s not unheard of – the father’s genes being too distasteful – and so Fanua chooses not to instill any of her gifts in the child. But no matter, there were always any number of villages that would gladly take the offspring of telesā because they knew such children would always be wise with plants and healing things. So after a few weeks, Nafanua was beginning to accept the reality that you were one of those. You see, we didn’t know then that your brother was actually your complement opposite, that Vasa Loloa was really the control for your fire, the neutralizer if you will. But then, there’s never been an earth telesā that we have known, just in legend, so how could we know?”
Confusion had me reeling. “I don’t understand. Are you saying that my brother, my twin – he was the answer to this fire thing? He was the one who could cancel this thing from erupting all the time?”
Sarona waved her hand, annoyed with the interruption. “No, no, he was more like the soother. The calming influence that could make sure you wouldn’t blow yourself up or someone else, whenever the time came for your gift to manifest. Your power is one that requires some gentling because of its unpredictability so, clearly, Fanua, in her wisdom, only ever gifts it in pairs. In twins, so that one can calm the other. That’s why Nafanua couldn’t sense your gift in those early days. Your brother’s water gift was meant to subdue your fire, probably to make sure you didn’t explode in the womb, or kill your own mother during the delivery process.” A shrug, “Hmm, lucky for Nafanua! Besides, your powers are not much to write home about, clearly, your brother got all the power in the family.” An airy flick of her wrist. “But we knew none of this back then. So when the time was right, Nafanua killed him.”
The words alone sliced pain through me. Pain that Sarona ignored as she continued. “She was planning to give you to a family at Lefaga, since you were supposedly ungifted but she was careless. She underestimated your father. She had gotten sloppy with giving him his usual love potions. You see, he was suspicious of your brother’s death. He just about walked in on Nafanua carrying out the act and she wasn’t very good at concealing all the evidence. It didn’t help when she didn’t summon enough emotional distress at the funeral like a real mother would have. He asked a few too many questions of people. The storytellers and ‘Christian’ gossipers, people like your aunty Matile. Somehow he found out a little too much about telesā, witchcraft I think he called it. He confronted Nafanua about their son and since she was planning on leaving him anyway, she told him the truth. He left that same day, taking you with him.” A begrudging admiration crept into her voice. “Have to say, that was a bit clever of him. A bit spirited. Unexpected really. Men are not known for running AWAY from us. But Nafanua was NOT amused, were you sister?!”
Again, Sarona did not really expect an answer. “Oh, the rage of a telesā denied is legendary. It did not matter that Nafanua had not wanted you for herself, that she was going to discard you anyway – no – what mattered was that this MAN, this creature, had bested her. Not only had he shaken himself free of her bewitching beauty, but he had dared to take her daughter with him. Ha! The resulting tantrum was the greatest hurricane Samoa had seen in over 50 years. But there was nothing she could do. Telesā cannot reach across oceans to the land of the free and the home of the brave. And so Nafanua forgot about you. What was one more ungifted child after all? Oh you did not know that either? Did you really think that, in all her lifetime, your mother has not given birth to other children beside you and Vasa Loloa? Oh yes, there have been others. But none of them have been gifted, none of them. It has been her greatest shame, hasn’t it Nafanua? That a telesā as powerful as she, the Covenant Keeper of our matagi sisters has never been able to have a child with any gifts worth talking about. Yes, Leila there are a few of your blood sisters scattered about these islands, most of them much older than you of course. Finally, after so many years of waiting and hoping, you were supposed to be the child she had prayed to the gods for but such a disappointment. Fanua works in mysterious ways – she gives Nafanua the greatest gift child – but he is a boy!”
“And then, after 18 years, imagine our surprise when you show up. Looking for answers, looking for the past. Oh Nafanua knew you were here, almost the minute you arrived. Samoa’s a small place, you know. She knew you were here and where you were staying but had no interest in you. Just another daughter. But then, we started sensing things. There were signs. Matavanu stirring, which brought that seismological team here to study her. Some of us began having dreams – that’s how Fanua likes to communicate with us sometimes. Dreams, visions if you like. At first we thought they meant a new telesā had been born. We’ve been scouring the country for babies with unusual gifts. Unexplained ocean happenings. Nothing. Then we followed up with all the ungifted daughters we had placed in various villages. Just to be sure, perhaps one of them was a late bloomer? Nothing. Which led Nafanua to check in with you. Not really thinking we would have much success, mind you. I suspect she harbored some curiosity about the daughter that the one man who had left her had taken.” A question thrown to Nafanua. “And revenge maybe, Nafanua? Have you been carrying some latent rage towards this girl’s father perhaps? Hmm? Some desires for revenge, maybe?”
Against my will and, in spite of all the truths that had been thrown at me in the past few weeks, the news that my mother had not ever wanted me – had never planned on keeping me – hurt. Pinpricks of hurt stung at my heart. I turned to look at this woman who was part of me. Had I ever really known her? Were the past four months all a lie? At any time, had she ever really cared about me? I thought of the endless hours of lessons, her patience with my clumsy efforts to make fire do my bidding. Patience I had mistaken for genuine concern.
I turned pain-filled eyes at Nafanua. “You asked me to give you a chance to be my friend and I did. I trusted you. Did the last few months mean nothing to you? And my dad, he loved you Nafanua. He never stopped loving you. The woman he thought you were. Without your potions and herbs, he loved you. He was a good man and you didn’t deserve him. Did you ever feel anything? For him? For me? as Or was I just a tool, a toy with a part to play in your grand plans?”
Sarona scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh please, Nafanua. We don’t need this child. And have you forgotten what she has done? You are our Covenant Keeper and it is your responsibility to enforce our laws. She broke silence, she shared telesā knowledge with a man. Not only that, she allowed him to take specimens, blood samples, DNA, so that he could study it and then use it to try and cure her. What sacrilege is this?” The other women in the circle nodded in agreement. “And then, when we offer her a second chance, she has the audacity to throw it back in our faces. She gets a Tongan telesā reject to give her an antidote for the scientist and thinks she can live happily ever after with her little boyfriend!” I looked around at the others and saw in their eyes that anything we had shared in the past would mean nothing now. I had broken their trust by asking Jason to help me and loving Daniel certainly didn’t help my case either. No, there would be no mercy from any of them.
I appealed one last time to Nafanua. “I understand your anger with me and I’ll do whatever I need to make things right with my sisters. But Daniel is no part of this. Let him go. Please.”
Nafanua shook her head. “Quiet! Enough of this. Sarona is right. You broke our laws by sharing telesā knowledge with this boy and with the professor. They both must die. But Leila, you can spare them. We are willing to let them both live if you release the volcano. Take out Apia and the surrounding villages. And the main town in Savaii as well. Do this for us, do it now and Daniel will live. And so will Jason.”
I tried to stall. “Alright. But you have to release Daniel first.”
Sarona screamed at me in answer. “You are in no position to issue ultimatums here girl!” Again she summoned lightning before I could even process what she was doing. Again agony ripped through me, shredding all rational thought and as soon as her attack paused, I tried to hit her with a ball of fire. But I was in no state to hurt anyone and it was a frail attempt to fight back, which she deflected easily with a rushing wind.
“Is that the best you can do? And you really thought you could take us on with that kind of power?” She shook her head in disbelief. “We’re not playing here, Leila. And I am tired of you thinking that we are. Nafanua, we discussed this. The Covenant has already agreed what must be done.” She turned to the women in the boat. “Kill the boy. Now.”
I screamed. “Nooooooo!” But the universe did not listen. In some grotesque silhouette in the moonlight, Manuia grabbed a handful of Daniel’s hair in her fist, jerked his head back and stabbed her knife deep into his chest.
“Now, throw him to the sharks.”
Time and space slowed. For me, everything faded as the two women heaved Daniel’s body over the side of the canoe. He slipped into the black water with barely a ripple. And then he was gone. Gone.
Do you know what death feels like? As a million and one sparks of life flicker, dim, and then are extinguished? Neurons die like butterflies scattering on the wind as they flutter their last breaths. Your lungs release their final gasp of CO2. And your heart shudders to its concluding beat. And as consciousness slips away, you realize, death is sweet. Nothingness is joy. Better than living. Better than breathing. When you are without the purpose for your existence. Nothingness is joy.
How do I know this? Because when Daniel disappeared into the ocean – I died. The madness around me carried on, but I was no longer present. Not really. I saw and heard but it meant nothing to me. Sarona laughed. And Nafanua reprimanded her for ‘jumping the gun.’ Manuia and Fouina brought the boat back to shore. And I sat and felt nothing. Daniel was gone. There was nothing left to feel.
The telesā dragged me away from the shoreline, further up onto the rocks to a vantage point where we could look across the distance and see the lights of Apia flickering. They threw me down roughly and the rocky plain was sharp and cut my bare legs. But still I felt nothing. Nafanua and Sarona continued with their arguing.
“You dared to defy me, to reveal covenant information about my past without my permission. Just what was your intention?”
“The girl deserved to hear the truth. You wanted her to join us and yet she was ignorant about her past, about her mother. How long did you plan on lying to her? There are no secrets in the sisterhood, Nafanua.”
“Oh yes, I forgot how important honesty and trust were to you.” The sarcasm in Nafanua’s voice was a whiplash, but Sarona did not back down.
“This is not about you and I, Nafanua.”
“Oh, isn’t it? You think I don’t realize what it is you are trying to do here? All this? The theatrics and the drama tonight? I know it’s all a play for my position. Don’t deny it. You have felt threatened by Leila’s presence right from the start, from when you realized her gifts made her the most logical choice for the next Covenant Keeper. That’s what this is about. The decision for leadership.”
Finally, Sarona’s composure was jolted and she snarled, “There is no decision making to be entered into. All our sisters know that I will be the next Keeper, that’s the way it has always been and will always be.” She gestured wildly at the other telesā, “They all know it. And you know it, Nafanua, this girl cannot be one of us, no matter how much you want her to. Her loyalties lie elsewhere and she cannot be trusted. You are letting your emotions as a mother interfere with your judgment. How ironic, you condemn Leila for allowing her feelings for that boy rule her and yet, here you are, placing your daughter above the will, above the good of the sisterhood.”
The gathering of women shifted uneasily on their feet and looked everywhere else but at Nafanua. The thought came to me idly that none of them wanted to risk getting involved in the showdown between the two most powerful members of their sisterhood. No, they would watch and wait. And then run whichever way the winds took them. Some sisterhood they were turning out to be. I wished they would hurry up and kill me. I didn’t know much about the afterlife but I didn’t want to run the risk of losing Daniel in the crowds over there.
Nafanua scoffed at Sarona’s accusation. “Don’t be ridiculous. All I want is for our Sisterhood to fulfill its mission as protectors of this land and the best way for us to do that is by enlisting Leila and her gifts.”
“And if she won’t use them willingly? What then, huh?” Sarona grabbed a fistful of my hair, roughly pulling my face back to the night sky. “Look at her. Does this look like a telesā who feels passionately about protecting the earth? Does it?”
Manuia stepped forward authoritatively. “She’s right, Nafanua. We can all see it. We have kept silent, watched you train her, shared our knowledge with her, but it’s been obvious to all of us. She is not one of us and never can be. Maybe if she hadn’t met that boy Daniel, things would have been different.” My eyes flickered a little with recognition at his name. Daniel, where are you? ‘As long as we’re together, everything will be alright.’ Daniel, how can I still be living, breathing – when you are not with me?
Fouina chimed in, “I agree. The bond between them has been inexplicable. Even you yourself could not break her obsession with him, Nafanua, not with your potions and plants.” She hesitated, a troubled look on her face, “It was so … unbecoming of a telesā. And yet, so in-human as well. Almost as if there was something else at work between them. I can’t explain it.”
Sarona rolled her eyes and snapped derisively, “Oh please, Fouina what is this? A Twilight moment? Get real.” She turned back to Nafanua. “The fact is that Leila does not qualify to join the Si
sterhood. And she has broken a countless number of our rules. There is only one option available to us. We must kill her. Right here. Now.” She looked around the circle for confirmation and there were unwilling nods from all. If I’d been capable of emotions, I’m sure I would have felt the slightest bit miffed. At losing the most important popularity contest of my short life. As it was, I only welcomed the announcement with something akin to relief. Yes. I was so very tired of this.
But my death wasn’t going to be as simple and straightforward as Daniel’s.
Nafanua hissed. “NO. You will not assign death to my only gifted daughter, do you hear me?! I am the Covenant Keeper and you cannot do this without my permission. You are all being blinded by this fool’s jealousy of her competition. Don’t be so short sighted. I’ve told you, Leila’s fire is the gift we have been waiting for. Don’t throw it all away.”
She looked around wildly but found no support. In one deft motion, she pushed Sarona away from me and sank to her knees beside me to whisper fiercely in my ear. “You saw what just happened to your boyfriend? We will do the same thing to Matile and Tuala. And that old woman – your boyfriend’s grandmother? We will find her and we will kill her too. Call the volcano, now. This is your life on the line. Do it.”
Telesa - The Covenant Keeper Page 50
