“What if we go back to my place and talk this through till we have an answer for everything? No sleep, no breaks, just banging this out until we’ve got a solution.”
“That’s not a euphemism for sex, is it?”
Dell chuckled. “No. I’ll even go as far as to say no sex till we figure this out.”
She blinked. “And if we can’t?”
“Don’t be such a pessimist.”
Optimism wasn’t going to help her any. What they both needed was a healthy dose of reality neither of them seemed to want to face.
Chapter 18
Dell woke to a stabbing pain in his neck, a foot that had fallen asleep and the weight of someone’s head on his shoulder.
Weird to like it when he’d never been much of a cuddler before. He shifted, trying to find a little comfort without waking up Mia, but the minute he moved she stretched and sat up.
“Ugh. We fell asleep.”
Ugh was right. They were no closer to some magical answer than they had been at the beginning of this whole thing. He was beginning to think there was no answer, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. She wouldn’t be lying with him on his couch if he did.
Welcome to Moronville, population one.
“We didn’t miraculously come up with something before we fell asleep and I’ve just forgotten, did we?”
“Don’t think so, sugar.” He crossed his arms behind his head, watched as she ran her fingers through her hair, yawned. Pain lodged in his chest at the thought that they couldn’t wake up together a few more times.
“Maybe we just accept the inevitable.”
Her expression tightened and she was very careful to look at her hands instead of him. “The inevitable?”
He took one of her hands. Kissed it. “Yeah. Dad’s going to sell this place out from under me. There will be no enemy farms anymore, because this won’t be a farm.”
“Dell.” She intertwined her fingers with his. “Don’t say that. You haven’t even talked to him. You need to.”
Dell shrugged. There was a certain kind of pain in saying that, too. And he couldn’t quite wrap his head around believing Dad would sell without his consent, but each day brought them closer to something, and each day he had less and less trust in his ability to convince Dad otherwise.
“I’ll be unemployed and homeless. You know, you can hire me so I can be a total useless joke.”
“You make jokes like that and I don’t think you have any idea how good of a man you really are.”
The sentiment, the serious way she looked at him and said it, meant it, had something foreign clogging his throat. Because the tide of emotion was so overwhelming, he fought it away. “Come on, I’d make one hunky farmhand for you.”
Mia’s brows drew together, but she didn’t argue with him. Instead, she looked…thoughtful. Dell’s stomach jumped uncomfortably.
“What? What’s that look about? It was a joke.”
“No, I know, but I have an idea. I think. Maybe.” She scurried off the couch and began to gather her things.
“I’m not going to work for you.”
She waved him off, slipping her purse onto her shoulder. “I know that.” But she didn’t elaborate.
“Well, what then?”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure yet. I need to look over some things. Run some figures.”
“For what?”
“For my idea.” She shoved her feet into her boots.
“Mia.”
She walked back to the couch, kissed his forehead. “I have to make sure first, okay?”
“Make sure of what?” They were running in some circle he couldn’t keep up with, and instead of hope he felt some faint sense of dread.
“That it’ll work. That it’ll help us both. That I’m not totally nuts.”
“Just tell me and—”
She kissed him on the mouth, a quick peck. “Nope. Gotta go. I’ll come back tonight.”
“Mia. Just tell me.”
“Trust me, sweetheart.” She patted his cheek before she stepped out onto the porch.
Dell followed, frowning. He did not like being kept in the dark like this. “Don’t I have some say?”
“Be patient. It’s a virtue and all.”
“Screw virtue.” He pressed his mouth to hers and let some of his frustration out in a kiss that left them both a little breathless.
She laughed, gave his chest a little shove. “Not going to get me to talk that easily. I’ll see you tonight.” Her smile was pretty and hopeful, her hair a tangled mess from a night on the couch.
His couch, with him, trying to work out some kind of future. The uncomfortable squeezing feeling in his chest that had bothered him all last night returned.
“Mia, I…” He raked his fingers through his hair. What was he trying to say? He had no idea. Or maybe he knew exactly what he wanted to say and the idea just scared the hell out of him. “It’ll drive me crazy all day.”
Head cocked, she studied him. “I need to work a few things out first. Maybe it’s crazy, maybe it’s possible, but I need to know it’s one or the other before I go yapping about it.” She touched his cheek, rubbing her palm there. “I need to know it’ll work for both of us. Not just you.”
“You know I want that, too.” He covered his hand with hers. “If this is about helping me again—”
“It’s about us. I think.” She smiled, pressed a kiss to his cheek, then paused with a thoughtful look on her face. She shook her head. “I have to go. I’ll be back.” She took a few steps off the porch, then froze. So did he.
Dad was standing at the fence, an unreadable look on his face. Shit. Mia looked back at him briefly, then powered on. He heard her cursory “Good morning, Mr. Wainwright.” Then she got in her truck and left.
Dell didn’t move. If Dad wanted to talk he was going to have to walk up to him. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what Dad did. Occasionally he looked over his shoulder, watching Mia and then her truck’s progress away from the cabin.
When he finally reached the porch he gave one last look back, then studied Dell. “Mia Pruitt.”
Dell didn’t offer a response. He and Mia were none of Dad’s business.
“Mia’s a smart girl.” Dad rubbed his chin, leaning against the post of the porch. “Really smart girl.”
“I’m aware.”
“Heard her give a speech once.”
“Mia?” Dell couldn’t imagine Mia getting in front of a group of people and speaking.
“Few years ago when she was at Truman. I was up for a conference. All the Ag students presented papers. You know, actually, first time I seriously thought about selling this place was after her presentation.”
“What?”
“Her paper was all about the changing face of farming. I didn’t like what she had to say. She was right, too, but I didn’t want that future for me. Not one bit. Knew I couldn’t keep up with it. So, I thought selling would be the best option.” He shrugged. “Then you got the wild hair you wanted this place, so I’ve held off.”
“It’s not a wild hair. I…” What the fucking hell was going on?
“Smart girl.”
“You said that already.”
“You serious about her?”
Dell couldn’t make out what was churning through him. Anger. Frustration. Downright confusion. “What?”
Dad shrugged. “If you got really serious about her, down the line, well… She’d keep you in line. Maybe I wouldn’t have to sell.”
Dell couldn’t catch a breath. He must be dreaming. He’d fallen asleep after Mia left and this was some kind of twisted nightmare. “Are you joking right now?”
“Look, son, I know you want to make me out to be the bad guy here, but you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. I’d rather sell the place now than have it get foreclosed on because you can’t keep up. Mia’d keep you on the right track. I’d keep her around if I were you. She’d be good for you.” On that sentiment, he patted Del
l on the shoulder and walked away.
Dell stood on the porch frozen. Dad had finally given him a way to keep the farm. Keep Mia around. Which he wanted to do anyway, but…
The lack of faith in him, the total disregard for what he brought to the farm burned. Mia was smart. Mia was capable. And if he kept her around and got the farm, that’s all Dell would ever hear. Mia would get all the credit.
He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to live with that.
* * *
Mia drained her third cup of coffee, immediately regretting it. She was already amped enough. Caffeine just added to the jitters.
She sat on an overturned pail. The edges of it dug into her butt, but she barely noticed. She hadn’t been able to concentrate on the work she was supposed to do with all the ideas swirling in her brain. So she’d given up and sat on the pail and scribbled down every last detail, working and reworking them until they made a coherent plan.
She read it through for the third time and knew it was risky. Possibly stupid. That it still needed her father’s approval. That wasn’t going to be easy.
Mia squinted up at the sky. Was she doing the right thing? She took a deep breath, frowned down at her notebook. She’d spent a lot of time in her life wondering if she was doing the right thing, the thing that wouldn’t get her made fun of, or would magically make her fit in.
She’d worried over every little thing, every little step, and it had never gotten her anywhere. She’d finally started enjoying life and herself when she’d shoved that worrying away. When she’d been determined not to care what anyone else thought. When she’d learned to trust herself.
Now, she’d finally taken that last step. Not just to keep true to herself and be happy with it, but to have relationships beyond her family. Wasn’t worrying if she was doing the right thing, worrying if emotion was getting in the way of common sense, the same thing she’d struggled with all those years?
Maybe she had to trust herself. Maybe instead of worrying she was making a mistake she just had to jump, then deal with the consequences either way.
A little easier said than done, especially when she still had to convince her father…whom she hadn’t talked to since last night.
Mia glanced at the sky. Well past noon. She hadn’t eaten much and the sensible thing to do would be eat her lunch, get some actual work done and then go talk to Dad.
Also the cowardly thing to do. Straightening her shoulders, she walked to the dairy barn. At this time of day, he’d probably be sitting at his desk with a magazine and lunch. He’d never seen much point in heading inside to eat.
She took a deep, steadying breath. She could do this. She could make her dad see the potential. He’d always trusted her, and he may have reservations about Dell, but they were wrong. She just had to show him.
He sat hunched over his desk, scribbling something into an ancient notebook.
“I have to talk to you.”
Dad held up a hand. “I’m sorry about last night. I was frustrated, and I shouldn’t have said what I did. Let’s forget about it.” He put his head back down as if that was that.
Mia took a deep breath. “Let’s not.”
“Come on, now, Mia. I apologized.” He sounded a bit like a whiny kid.
“I need to talk to you and I need you to listen.”
He groaned, but he pointed to the rusting folding chair in the corner. Mia pulled it over to his old, rotting desk. It was where he hid his chew and did his paperwork because it was the only place on the farm Mom wouldn’t go.
“Not pregnant, are you?”
“Oh, my God, no!”
Dad shrugged. “Good.”
Some of her bravery deflated. This was so not going to go well.
“Get on with it. I’ve got work to do.” He tapped a pen against the desk, looked everywhere but at her.
“Dell is a good person.”
“Aw, now, let’s not talk about this.”
“I need you to hear me out here. He’s a good person and a good farmer, and his dad is talking about selling out from under him. To a developer.”
Dad scowled. “Never did like that Wainwright fella. Lived beyond his means is what he did.”
The highest sin in Dad’s book. “I want to help Dell keep his farm.”
“Now, Mia, it ain’t your place. I don’t want you giving anything up for that boy. You hear me? You look out for you. You let him look out for him. If he’s asking—”
“Oh, he’s not asking.” She wasn’t even sure he’d go for her idea, but she had to give it a shot. “A couple years ago I read about these friends who merged their farms so they could avoid losing them. They did this whole big thing. CSA, farmer’s market and food supplier. In the end, they succeeded and did better because they worked together.”
“I do not like where this is going, young lady.”
“I don’t have room to grow here. If Anna takes over the dairy, there’s nowhere for me to expand. But if I merged with Dell, we could do more. I could integrate into his CSA, he could help supply Edibles and maybe some other restaurants. We could offer more variety at the farmer’s market. We could grow.”
“No.”
“And it would mean that little piece of land wouldn’t be developed. Not as long as Dell and I had it. Now, it’d mean adjusting our deal. The five percent every year. I’d need to put that off a little bit.”
Dad stood, ran an agitated hand through his thinning hair. “I don’t like it. You can’t just go in there and buy that fool’s farm for him.”
Mia stood, too. Desperation and nerves and a million other emotions rattling through her. “No, it’s not like that. It’d be a partnership. A merger. We’d work together. We…work good together.”
“I don’t like it.”
Mia slumped back into her chair. Of course he didn’t. Why should he? It sounded idiotic when she said it out loud. It sounded like she was some kind of mindless love-struck moron who was trying to buy someone’s favor.
But that wasn’t it at all. The merger would cut away the need for competition, and that meant they could keep being together for however long that worked out. But it was more. Even if Dell broke her heart, she wanted him to have his farm. She didn’t want to see a developer ruin a piece of land someone loved as much as Dell loved that place.
Mia took a breath, straightened her shoulders. “Remember when I used to hide in the back room of the house?”
“Well, sure.”
“And one time you and Grandpa came in and sat with me.”
“Oh, those morons up at school’d been making fun of you.” Dad slid back into his seat, scowling.
“Yeah, and you guys told stories about the house. About the farm. About how you’d grown up. And it felt like…it wasn’t just us. Grandpa even said it. He felt it, too. That this place and that house were more than just us who are left. It means more. We belong to this place.”
He fiddled with the brim of his hat. “Yeah, yeah, I remember.”
“I never talked about that with anyone. But the other day, Dell was talking about his farm and he said the same thing. He said it was in his bones. I think I maybe fell in love with him right there.” Admitting she loved him was scary, but it was true, so…so what?
Dad’s face was beet-red and he stared hard at his desk. “I really need to hear this?”
Mia smiled a little. Good old Dad. Completely embarrassed by any male-female relationship topic. Even love. “I can help him, and in the same breath, help myself. Farming is changing and this will help me do that.” She pushed the notebook toward him. “Look it over. I’ve figured it out. Gone over figures and cost and a million other things. I could grow what I have, and so could Dell.” Mia took a deep breath. “No one should have to lose a part of themself.”
Dad leaned back in the ancient chair, rubbed a hand over his poorly kept beard. “It’s a risk.”
“Farming always is.”
Dad almost, almost smiled at that. “Love, too.”
&nb
sp; “Be careful, I might start thinking you’re poetic or something.” But she knew the truth. Under all the gruff silence, he was a softie.
He waved a hand at her. “You have my permission or blessing or whatever damn thing it is you want. I trust you, Mia.”
Mia swallowed at the lump in her throat, reached over the desk and gave him a squeeze.
“That boy better treat you right.”
“He does. And if that changes, I’ll sic Cara on him.”
Dad laughed at that. “You sure this is the right thing?”
“I have to trust myself, and I really think it is.”
“All right. Enough jabbering. Get on with you.” Dad shooed her out of the little office. She held the notebook to her chest.
Nerves did a little tap dance on her lungs, making it hard to breathe right. This was such a risk, but it would give them what they both wanted. So maybe it wasn’t a risk at all.
Chapter Nineteen
It was nearly seven o’clock and Mia still hadn’t shown up yet. Dell sat on his couch staring out the window.
He hadn’t showered. Dirt still caked his hands. He hadn’t even planned to stop working. He’d come inside to refill his water bottle and then had sat down and…not moved.
He’d worked his ass off today but had barely felt it. Ever since this morning everything felt off. For the first time, he didn’t want to see Mia. He didn’t want her to come. He didn’t want her to have a solution. He wanted to go back to when things were simple and he didn’t give a shit about anything.
Because no matter how he worked it out in his mind, he was fairly certain he was going to lose both the things he cared so deeply about.
A brief knock, followed by Mia barging in. “Jeez, it’s dark in here. Why don’t you turn on the lights?”
“Rather not.” The weird fog around him thickened; he felt so separated from everything this didn’t even seem real.
“Oookay.” She plopped down next to him on the couch, dropped that damn notebook into her lap. “Aren’t you even the least bit curious about my idea?”
It didn’t matter. Anything that might help him via her didn’t matter. “Actually—”
She gave his shoulder a shove. “Stop being so weird. Look.” She opened the notebook, pointed at a word it took him a few second to work out.
Harlequin E Contemporary Romance Box Set Volume 2: Maid to CraveAll I HaveThe Last First DateLight My Fire Page 41
