by Shyla Colt
“Who sent you to college? Bought you that first car, and filled in the holes your mother couldn’t?”
“Because parenting is purely monetary? All you ever cared about was yourself.” I turn from the old man, willing myself to wake.
“You can run from me here, but the truth is still there waiting to be discovered.”
I surface from the dream trembling, sick to my stomach, and covered in a fine sheen of sweat. I roll from the bed, and stumble to the bathroom. I turn on the taps and slip into the warm water, washing away the bitterness gathered in my mouth like sour candy. Soaping up my loofa, I let the scent of lavender calm me as I struggle to find my balance. Time is running out. The truth will be so much worse coming from an outside source.
Despite his fame and fortune, I’ve always been ashamed of my father. If I could emancipate myself from him and pretend he never existed, I would. Unfortunately, life is a cruel bitch who never forgets. We have to roll with the hand we’re dealt. I’ll tell him before the wedding. It gives me a little more time to figure out the delivery. I have to make him understand. The same way our relationship caught Skull by surprise, it did me as well. I didn’t intentionally keep this from him. I never thought we’d be serious enough for him to need to know. The thought sounds lame to me. So I know he won’t buy it. I have a few months to make this thing so steady—my lies of omission won’t sink it.
***
Skull
“You want to clue me in on what this is all about?” Stone asks pausing in the doorway of my very empty dorm room.
“Trying to work some things out with Ruthie.”
“I wasn’t aware it had gotten that serious,” Stone says as he leans against the doorframe and crosses his ankles.
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. This life isn’t for everyone. I need her to get a good taste of it before I decide on my next step.”
Stone nods. “I don’t have much to say. She’s been on the outskirts for a long time. I never had a complaint about her or a reason to doubt her. At the same time, I don’t know much. Her being Blue’s friend wasn’t a big deal. Her being an Old Lady is a different story. You need to make sure you look into that before you put any kind of claim on her other than girlfriend. I’m not trying to have any more surprises roll up on us.”
“I get you, Prez,” I say.
“Damn, I know I’m getting old when you start growing up and thinking about settling down. I never thought I’d see the day.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, me neither.”
“Let us know if you need anything,” Stone says before he slips off.
I breathe a sigh of relief. He could’ve handed me my ass. Luckily, he was in a good mood.
I study the dorm that’s been mine since I was in my mid-twenties. I prospected at twenty-one after being a hang around for almost two years. Grandpa taught me his trade. I got by on it, but it didn’t fulfill me. When I came in to do some wiring work at the clubhouse and clicked with some of the boys it had been an ‘aha’ moment. I got in with them and never looked back. I knew my grandparents wanted more for me, but they supported me nonetheless. I tried to keep the shadier side of shit from them, but they were sharp.
“Damn, so the rumors are true?”
I smirk at the sight of my brother, and Sponsor, Riker.
“Looks like.”
Riker steps inside. “I thought you were going to be a lifetime bachelor.”
“Me too, until I wasn’t.”
Riker chuckles. “Yeah, that sounds about right. I wasn’t looking for shit when I met Mi. Now, I can barely remember a time when she wasn’t around. Ruthie has always been good people. She stood with Blue when the people in this town thought she was trash because of the club. Should be a decent Old Lady if that’s where you end up taking it.”
“Yeah. You got a minute, brother? Need to get some shit off my chest.”
Riker steps in and closes the door behind him.
“Ruthie is knocked up, brother.”
“Oh, fuck. Anyone else know?” he asks. Being my sponsor, Riker knew all about my history, just as Stone did.
I nod. “Just Shadow and Blue.”
“You all right with that?”
“I’m a fucking wreck, dude. I don’t want to become my father, and I don’t want to pass my shit down.”
“How far long is she?”
“No clue, just took the test yesterday. She’s got an appointment Monday.”
“If you’re moving in, I’d say it looks like you’re leaning toward keeping it.”
“She’s not the abortion type. She says I’m too worked up over what-ifs. I’m worried about history repeating itself.”
“She know how it ended with your parents and still thinks you’re over reacting?” Riker said doubtfully.
“No she doesn’t.”
“Brother, you need to come clean with this before it turns into an unintentional betrayal.”
“It was hard enough to get her to let me move in. I need to work up to it.”
Riker frowns. “Ain’t no gentle way to break that kind of news.”
“You’d tell her?”
“Hell, yeah. I’d want to know if she could handle it before I invested further,” Riker says with a shrug.
“Too late for that. Kid is half mine.”
“You sure about that?” Riker asks.
“Yeah man, not a doubt in my mind,” I answer automatically.
“Well, you got that working for you. I can’t tell you what to do. This is your life. I can say this, you need to make it steady and let Pres know. Man is paranoid as hell after all that’s happened.”
“I know. That’s why the move in was rushed.”
“For what it’s worth, you’ve never been your old man. You got one of the kindest hearts I know.”
“We both know I’m not nice,” I retort.
“You don’t have to be nice to be a good man. Your grandparents instilled plenty of good shit. Imagine giving that to your Old Lady and your kid. Look, you got my number if you need me for anything. I was on my way out to take care of some club business.”
“Thanks, man, I’ll call you if I need to.”
“Hey, baby. You up for a rematch?” a female voice speaks up.
The oversexed voice rubs me the wrong way. I don’t need a fake porn star when I have a woman who responds naturally. “I’m good, thanks.”
“You sure? ‘Cause the last time, we had a really good time.”
I look up and swear at the sight of the blonde that landed me in the doghouse in the first place. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Rode up with some bikers coming this way. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind. Maybe this time we can get into even more trouble.” She thrusts out her plastic breasts and strikes what I’m sure she believes is a seductive pose. She looks like a disproportionate Barbie trying not to tip over.
“Not interested.”
“Oh, are you going to play hard to get again?” she asked exaggerating the sway of her hips as she walks into the center of my room.
“What the actual fuck?”
I jerk and look over at Blue as she is fuming in the hallway with Shadow behind her shaking his head.
I hold my hands up. “Hey, I didn’t tell this bitch to come here.”
“Ain’t nothing here for you, Skankerella, it’s midnight and your shit has turned stale and rotten. Get the fuck out of here,” Blue orders.
“Excuse me? Last I checked, this one didn’t have an Old Lady.” The blonde huffs.
Blue crosses her arms over her breasts. “Who does this bitch think she’s talking to, Shadow?”
“You need to hit the pavement,” I cut in. “You aren’t wanted. I’m sure there’s someone out there willing to let you warm their bed, but it ain’t me.”
“That’s what you said last time, but I persuaded you then, didn’t I?’ she asked coming over to trail her fingers down my arm.
I grab her wrist, and give a warning squeeze. “Back the fuck off.”
“Blue, you guys back here?”
We all freeze at the sound of Ruthie’s voice.
Of all the times for her to go the extra mile and extend an olive branch.
“Bathroom,” Blue blurts out.
I drag the blonde to the opposite side of the room, shove her into the tiny room and slam the door.
Ruthie appears with a shy smile. “Woke up and it was too quiet. I thought maybe I could lend a hand.”
My heart pounds in my ears. “I’m pretty much done here.”
“Yeah, how about we head out?” Blue asks wrapping an arm around Ruthie’s shoulder.
Ruthie frowns.
Smart little bitch.
“Y’all are acting strange. What’s going on?”
I sigh. If I keep piling up lies, I won’t be able to keep anything straight. “Remember that thing that happened on the road?”
Her cheeks turn red and her nostrils flare. “Yes.”
“Well, it kind of followed me home and just showed up.”
“What is this bitch, a stray dog?” Ruthie barks.
“Ruth.” I hold my hands out. “You need to calm down, babe.”
“Calm down? This bitch has the nerve to drag her stank pussy having ass all the way down here to push up on my man, and you think I’m going to stay calm?”
“Think about…” I trail off and stare at her stomach.
“Oh believe me, I am. Let that motherfucker out,” Ruthie demands.
I freeze. I don’t want her to hurt herself, but I don’t want her to think I’m protecting the blonde. Against my better judgement, I step away.
Ruthie turns to Blue and whispers something in her ear.
Blue grins and hands over her purse.
The blonde strolls out like she’s a prize filly. “You mad I had your man’s cock in my mouth?”
Ruthie smirks. “I’m mad you thought it was more than a distraction on the road. He was thinking about me while he busted a nut in your nasty ass cum hole. See I can’t fight you like I want to. But I can make my message clear.” Ruthie reaches into Blue’s purse and pulls out a .38.
The blonde pales. “Crazy bitch!”
“Let me show you how crazy I am,” Ruthie says lining up and shooting just past the blonde’s shoulder.
The blonde screams. “Get her away from me!”
“Oh no, you wanted to come for my man, right?” Ruthie shot again.
A crowd forms outside the door. The blonde whose name I long ago forgot bolts for the door.
Ruthie lets her pass. “Tell your friends I got something for them too, if they want to try me.”
“Well shit, didn’t you know had it in you, Ruthie girl,” Stone says patting her on the back.
She hands the gun back to Blue. “Sorry to waste bullets on garbage.” The two burst into laughter.
I look over at Shadow.
He shrugs. Be glad those bullets weren’t coming at you, he mouths.
Valid point.
“Are you ready to come home?” Ruthie asks.
“Yes?” I reply gauging her reaction.
“I’m not mad at you. It felt good to clear the air.”
“Shit, if that’s how she clears the air, you’re in fucking trouble,” Bullet calls out.
I narrow my gaze.
“What are you doing to our sweet Ruthie?” Wizard teases.
“Don’t you guys have some other shit to do?” I ask.
They all laugh and the moment blows over. Maybe she’s more suited for this life than I give her credit for. There’s never a dull moment in this family. It’s always more amusing when you’re not the one involved in the drama. I smile. She just called me her man and claimed me in front of the entire club. Things are looking up. “Let’s get you out of here, Annie Oakley.” I wrap an arm around her waist and guide her out of the room. “Where’d you learn to shoot like that?”
“There were some things my parents did right. My father said as women in this world, my sister and I needed to know how to protect ourselves. I’ve had self-defense training as well as time on the range. It’s one of the few things we could agree on.”
“You don’t talk about him much.”
“Yeah, there’s a reason for that. I don’t want to get into it at the moment.”
“We’re going to have to—”
“Trust me I know,” she says with a soft sigh.
Her reaction sparks my curiosity. I’ve seen her childhood home. The guy couldn’t be that bad. Hell, she’s involved with an M.C. Her old man is probably a saint compared to us. “Soon.”
“I could ask you the same thing,” she counters.
“Touché.” We’re both hiding. Riker’s words echo in my head. “Soon.” She tenses and an alarm goes off in my head. One crisis averted and another around the corner.
Chapter Five
Ruthie
“Well, one thing is for sure. This is going to be a Sunday dinner your family never forgets.”
“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to that. Ever since the fall out with my father, my mother has clung to traditional values. It was stifling growing up.”
“How so?” Skull asks.
“Church every Sunday, Wednesday, and any other time they needed help. Volunteer work and super conservative clothes. If we ever rebelled, she brought up our father and the dangers of bucking the system.”
“You don’t talk about him much,” Skull reminds me.
“I try to pretend he doesn’t exist. He put us through hell with his drug use, self-centered, philandering and verbal abuse. He never hit her, but he demolished her with words sharp enough to rip her to shreds. He taught my sister and I that men hurt, and to never depend on them. He and my mother were high school sweethearts. It was great for a time. Then he stared a downward spiral he never got out of.”
“Do you ever see him?” Skull asks.
“Not if I can help it.”
“What does he do?”
“Works as a freelance writer. He does well for himself and gets to live a nomadic life. I guess that’s what makes him happy.”
“Huh.”
Tell him. It’s the perfect opportunity to reveal my father’s identity. The words stick in my throat. I’m not ready, but my time is ticking down. We’ve upped the getting to know you process. Skull hasn’t said anything out loud, but I know he needs to tell Stone about our recent development. I’m pushing ten weeks pregnant, and we have an appointment for our first ultrasound next week. Listening to the heartbeat a couple of weeks ago had been surreal. I can’t imagine how much seeing the little bean will turn me inside out.
“Do they know about me? Your family.”
“They know I’ve been seeing someone. I never went into much detail. But my mom knows my taste is rather unconventional compared to hers or Rochelle’s.”
“She going to give you shit?” he asks. His face darkens.
I love him for his protective nature. “Not while you’re around.”
“So, yes.”
“She’ll get over it.”
“Are you planning on dropping the baby boom?” he asks.
“I was toying with the idea. Why not rip the Band-Aid off all at once? What do you think?”
“Hey, it’s your family. I’m just visiting.”
“Ugh, not helpful, Skull.”
“The fewer people that know, the more control we keep. I don’t care either way. I can’t let Stone hear from anyone else but me though. I’ve been putting it off for you.”
“What? I never asked you to do that.”
�
��You’re hot and cold most days, and I don’t know much about you. Not the way I should. This is the most I’ve ever heard you talk about your father or your life growing up. We don’t have all the time in the world to get to know each other. We need to figure this shit out and set down guidelines.”
“What? You want to draw up a custody agreement?” I ask sarcastically.
“No. I want to know what the hell we’re doing. Are you in it for the long run? We going to raise this kid together, or are you going to bail like the other bitches. Tell me when and if I can see my kid. I need to be able to trust you won’t get antsy, turn your nose up at the club, and get squirrelly.”
“Do you know how long I’ve been around KOC?” I ask offended.
“It’s a whole new ball game as an Old Lady. You’re already dealing with me for life as it is. It ain’t always going to be a picnic.”
“You think I don’t already know that?” I ask, exasperated.
“The first time I fucked up, you were out the door.”
“Don’t put that on me. We didn’t have any labels or rules. I was protecting myself.”
“And we do now?”
“You’re staying with me, aren’t you?” I ask, tightening my grip on the steering wheel as we headed to my mother’s.
“In a spare bedroom.”
“I told you the terms before you moved in.”
“And how long do you think I’m going to let you remain in control? That’s not how this thing works. I’m trying to meet you in the middle. But my patience is running thin.”
“Wow, the big bad biker can’t hang when he has to think of someone other than himself.”
“Don’t go there. You start flinging insults and I’ll fire back.”
I clench my jaw.
“I thought so.”
“Why do you always need the last word?” I snap.
