'I am!' She pleads. 'I just don't want to get involved in all this! It's dangerous!'
'You think?!' I screech. 'I'm the one in danger, Tia, not you!'
'I will be if I tell you what I know!' She squeaks. I stop, loosening my grip on her arm slightly.
'What do you mean?' I frown.
'If I tell you what I know about Malachy, I'll be in even more danger than you.' She replies steadily, her gaze meeting mine.
'Why?' My question is simple, but loaded.
'I'm forbidden to speak of it. Everybody is.' She says, her voice lowered to little more than a whisper. She scans the Institute's windows and for the first time, I'm wary of onlookers from inside. I lower my arm so that my hold on Tia will be less obvious to any audience.
'For God's sake,' I hiss. 'Is there anything in this bloody place that isn't forbidden? What, does Sir Alec have a list as long as his arm of things that are forbidden?'
'It's forbidden for a good reason. A higher reason than Sir Alec.' Tia replies quietly. I frown, my thoughts flitting to the Auctoritas – and Malachy's place within them.
'Look, Tia,' I sigh, taking a seat next to her on the bench and releasing her arm. She watches me warily, but doesn't run. 'I am in some serious shit,' I lay it out as simply as I can for her.
'The bottom line is, I've been given a task by Sir Alec that is near impossible to complete.
The chances are I won't be able to give him the result he wants even if I do manage to speak to Katy and even if I do know the history of this place. But I certainly won't if I don't.
If I don't get Sir Alec the result he wants, it really makes no difference to him – he'll change Lorna with or without her consent – but his favour towards me will drop dramatically. He won't be pleased that he'll have to do something he doesn't want to, and he'll see it as my fault. That puts me in a pretty scary position. Sir Alec can do what he likes with me. Sure, he has to listen to the Auctoritas, but from what I've heard, they're not known for their sympathy or fairness. He will isolate me, or worse – Confine me.
I didn't ask for this, but I can't very well get out of it. Given my chance I would go back in time and fail miserably at my fake attack on you. But I can't, and now I have to play with the hand I've been dealt.
I will do this with or without your help, but without, I will undoubtedly fail. And when I'm sent to the West wing to live my time here out in solitude, isolated within and outside of the Institute, or sent to the Confine for all eternity, do you really want that on your conscience?' I ask, watching her expression darken with every word, the realisation of my desperation dawning on her.
She considers for a few moments everything I've told her, no doubt playing the scenario out in her mind, weighing up the odds.
'Whatever happens, no-one will ever find out that it was you who told me,' I press. 'I'll take it to my grave – theoretically. And no matter what I'm threatened with – be it isolation or the Confine – I will not tell a soul. You can trust me, Tia.' I say truthfully. She sighs, slumping in defeat. I take the opportunity.
'Now, can I trust Malachy?' I ask.
'Yes.' She replies, nodding once. My shoulders loosen and I smile gratefully. 'I mean, normally I would say no. But you, yes. You can trust Malachy.' She adds. I frown at her emphasis of the word 'you.'
'Why can I trust him?' I ask, weirdly dreading the answer.
'It's a long story. And one I'm not allowed to tell,' She replies.
'Tia, we've been though this – '
'You didn't let me finish,' She interrupts. 'I'm not allowed to tell it, and now that I've assured you that you can trust Malachy, I don't see why you even need to know, but I'll tell you anyway. I know you won't let it drop otherwise and you'll go snooping around asking the wrong people,'
I can't deny that. It appears Tia has an educated insight to my personality.
'Let's walk, I don't want anybody wondering why we're sat outside at dusk talking quietly on an isolated bench,' She snipes.
The temperature has dropped even further and darkness draws in quickly, the only light emanating from the full moon and the glowing windows of the Institute. Tia and I scale the forecourt, our eyes wide in the shadows as we follow the winding stream downhill. The sounds of the Institute fade as we gain distance and the crickets and frogs become louder in the quiet.
'Not too far, I don't want them to panic that we're attempting to escape,' Tia mutters, circling back on our path. 'Look, you can't repeat to any of your first years what I'm about to tell you. Or the second years for that matter. I'm serious, this is not a joke.'
'Tia, relax, it's for my ears only, I promise.' I assure her.
'Okay. There's a reason Malachy acts the way he does. I don't just mean his bitchiness and arrogance whenever Lucrezia is around, I mean that coupled with the fact that when he's alone he's an entirely different person.'
'So I'm not the only one to notice!' I breath a sigh of relief.
'Of course not, people have noticed that for years,' Tia tuts, irritated at my arrogance. 'But what nobody knows is the exact reason for it. We all have our theories based on what happened in our first year at the Institute. But the important thing to remember is that no one knows for sure. It's all speculation.'
'Okay, okay,' I reply hastily. 'So what happened?'
Tia hesitates, her eyes darting back to the Institute before indulging me. 'We were six months into our first year. Everyone knew Malachy and Lucrezia, I mean, they're Auctorita children so of course they had notoriety.
They were then exactly as they are now; arrogant, snobbish and bitchy. They rejected anyone who wasn't from a wealthy or important family in their past lives, and even those who were they treated with contempt – like the Bermudez sisters.
Anyway, the twins themselves were very close, they even shared a room at first. Somebody once told me that they had a difficult upbringing, which isn't hard to believe – everyone here has – but it would explain their almost unnatural bond.
So, six months into our first year, Malachy started dating a girl in our class, Aleks Anzhela. She was Russian, a real down-to-earth young girl whose previous family were just everyday Russian citizens trying to make an honest living. But she was separated from them somehow, I think in some kind of attack. That's how she ended up here.
Everybody who knew Aleks liked her; she was friendly to everyone and had no pretences. Everyone was naturally surprised when she and Malachy got together, you imagine their surprise.' Tia laughs and I nod, knowing all too well the differences in class, status and personality.
'No-one really knows how it happened; one minute Malachy never left Lucrezia's side, the next he was spending every waking moment with Aleks. And they were really in love, anyone who saw them for just five minutes could tell that, they were inseparable. Nobody had ever seen Malachy act like that before, and no-one had ever seen Lucrezia so livid.
Malachy moved out of their room and into his own, he gradually saw less and less of Lucrezia until eventually it was rare to see them in the same place.
Malachy started to change, you see. Aleks began to rub off on him. He started talking to everybody, smiling, being polite. He was a different person – and Lucrezia hated it. Everyone noticed how she glared at Mal and Aleks, how she deliberately intervened in an attempt to keep them apart. Malachy and Aleks were together for six months and in such a short time, Malachy did a complete 180. Then, suddenly, Aleks was gone.
She didn't come to class, nobody saw her, nobody saw Malachy or Lucrezia either. For two weeks they disappeared, and the gossip spread like wildfire. Nobody knew what to make of it.
With Malachy being our future Auctorita, of course everybody assumed that his father had intervened. Auctoritas are free to choose their own mate, but are usually heavily influenced by their predecessors. And if their mother or father disapproves of their choice, the romance usually doesn't last long.
Then, just like that, Malachy and Lucrezia returned to classes, joined at the hip again. Malachy resumed his bi
tchy, arrogant attitude. He rejected everyone he'd made friends with, and would speak to nobody save Lucrezia.
Aleks didn't come back.
Obviously, questions were asked, voices were raised. Students didn't just disappear into thin air, even at the Institute. I guess Sir Alec bowed to pressure eventually as he called an assembly of all five years, including all faculty. He told us that Aleks had broken a law. He didn't go into detail but mentioned that she'd attempted to contact a friend from her previous life. No-one believed it, not one of us.
Anyone who knew Aleks knew she would never risk herself or Malachy's lives just to contact an old friend. But that was the story Sir Alec and everybody else, including Malachy, stuck to.
We were all informed that if we ever spoke of Aleks or the incident again, we would be severely punished. So nobody did. It was as though she never existed.
The only trace of her now is Malachy's odd, schizophrenic personality.' Tia shrugs, a strange end to a strange story.
I realise that I've been holding my breath throughout Tia's monologue and I let it out slowly and silently. I know instantly, without asking or being told, that Aleks' disappearance was Lucrezia's doing. It's just my gut instinct.
But how?
How did one vindictive girl manage to convince the government and our headmaster that Aleks had contacted a human?
I suddenly view Malachy as a completely different person, not at all who I thought he was. His strange ways slot into place; his violent mood swings, his change in personality, they all make sense. His persona is an act, but for whose benefit? Lucrezia's? Sir Alec's?
My mind feels overloaded with information and I need time to process it. Just one question still nags at me.
'Why does any of this mean that I alone can trust Malachy?' I ask Tia, once again dreading the answer. She hesitates, dropping her gaze.
'You look like Aleks,' She admits and my breath catches in my throat. 'We've all noticed it. No-one's said anything but I can see it in people's faces when they meet you. It's undeniable.'
*
Tia's words swim around my head all night long. Recently, I've taken to lying aimlessly in bed at night to give myself some semblance of normal life, but usually I get up after three or four hours, and especially since my thoughts are so occupied.
I try to see through Tia's perspective during her first year, during the ordeal of Aleks Anzhela. How the students must have felt living on the edge of fear.
No wonder Tia and everybody else is so keen on sticking to the rules; break them, or even displease the wrong person, and they'll make you disappear like poor Aleks.
Poor Aleks, who now rots in the Confine on a false charge.
Does Malachy still love her? Did he truly believe that she had contacted an old friend? I doubt it, if even Tia knew it was a false claim.
Malachy must have known that it was Lucrezia's doing. He must still know. Why did he do nothing? Why does he continue to be her pet, her plaything? What about Malachy and Lucrezia's Auctorita family? Who did they believe?
Lucrezia, obviously, but did they really believe her? Or did they know she was behind it all and that they were condemning an innocent woman and breaking their child's heart?
So many thoughts and questions revolve around my head and I wish more than anything that I could sleep. Be given just a few hours of silence, of nothingness where I wouldn't have to think or conspire.
I resolve by morning to push Aleks out of my mind; there's nothing I can do about what happened and it has no impact on my life. I must stick to my task, to my plan.
I have no clue where the West wing is and I can't very well go around asking people. And even if I find out where it is, Malachy said that Katy is guarded around the clock, how do I plan to overcome that obstacle? Tia can't help, and I would never ask it of her.
For one crazy moment, I consider asking Sir Alec if I may talk to Katy, to find out where she went wrong in order to do my job better. It would make sense from an outside perspective, but it would also incur many questions from Sir Alec, mainly about how I came to know of Katy in the first place. Or where she's kept.
I realise that the only person who can, and possibly will, help me is Malachy. He went against the rules – and his better judgement – last night, didn't he? He shouldn't have told me where Katy was and yet he did.
Why?
Was it really because I look like Aleks? Would he really consider that a good enough reason to put himself in the firing line? Is it enough for him to do it again? And why, only moments before on the stairwell, had he demonstrated his power over me and threatened to go to Sir Alec?
I feel a pang of guilt as I contemplate using Malachy's past against him. If I use my influence as Aleks' lookalike to make Malachy help me, aren't I just as bad as Lucrezia? Hasn't he been through enough? If I had any morals I would leave him well alone, go out of my way to avoid him, to make his life easier.
The weekend couldn't have come at a more opportune moment and with no lessons to occupy me, I have plenty of time to look for Malachy. I can't simply knock on his door as I did last night, what if Lucrezia's there? Last night he was expecting me, today he isn't.
I check the common room as soon as I've left the cafeteria; with fresh blood in my system, my energy is up and my thoughts are clearer. The story of Aleks Anzhela has only fuelled my desperation to complete my task. I don't want to persuade Lorna Gray to change, I don't want to influence Malachy into helping me, but I have no choice. Anybody else would do the same.
Besides, I can ask Malachy for help, it doesn't mean he'll give it to me.
Lucrezia is in the common room, surrounded by moronic, third year girls with dyed blonde hair and forced arrogance. Despite a general hatred for Lucrezia, there are those who wish to be like her and try desperately to befriend her. I have to assume that they hope her Auctorita connections will help them when they leave the Institute, and if that's the case, they're simply doing what I am right now.
Watching their own backs.
Malachy isn't with her, which is a good thing. Tia spies me from her usual sofa but merely smiles, giving me space to do what's necessary. She didn't come back to our room last night and I have no idea if she's mad, upset or indifferent towards me. But I don't have time to worry about it.
It's not time yet for the third years to visit the cafeteria so I check it off my list and, after finding the stair well empty, I decide that with Lucrezia safely in the common room, I will try Malachy's room.
I take the empty lift to the fourth floor, counting the numbers as it travels smoothly upwards, and as the doors ping open, my heart plummets to my feet.
Lorna Gray stands before me, as surprised to see me as I am her. I almost miss my floor as I stand staring at her and the doors begin to close. I shoot my arm out quickly and the door halts, shuddering open once more. I step out of the lift, next to her, and she smiles politely.
'Nice to see you again, Eve.' Her seductive, deep voice makes me shiver, and I suppress the urge to throw myself at her feet and beg her to be changed willingly – for the sake of my life.
'And you, Miss Gray.' I force a smile and she rolls her eyes.
'Please, enough with the 'Miss Gray.' I'm seventeen years old,' She laughs. 'I was just... on my way to the library.' She explains what I didn't ask and I frown. I don't recall ever seeing Lorna Gray unaccompanied by a guard anywhere besides our meeting at the fourth floor window.
'What are you researching?' I enquire out of politeness but she clams up, leaving my question unanswered.
'I was thinking,' she muses, her eyes mischievous. 'Seeing as Alec is so keen for me to spend time with you, and life here for me is admittedly boring and lonely, perhaps you could meet me later? Take me for a walk out in the grounds?
I'm not allowed outside the walls without an escort but perhaps Alec will permit you to be it.' She suggests, and I raise an eyebrow, doubtful.
'Of course, if Sir Alec will allow it, I'd be delighted to come with you.
' I nod politely and she smiles.
'Great. I'll meet you at the main entrance. Say around eight?' She doesn't wait for a reply before she pushes the button to call back the lift. She steps inside and flashes me a smile. 'Until later, Eve.' She says, and as the doors close, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
I have no idea if Lorna Gray is playing with me. Whether she has her own agenda, a sordid plan to use me to wreak revenge on all Immortals, but honestly, I don't have the time or emotional capacity to consider it.
Sir Alec will, of course, allow me to accompany her tonight – though probably not outside the Institute's walls – and he will expect me to use this opportunity to change Lorna's mind once and for all.
If I'm to do that, I need information and I need it fast.
I don't have time to worry about whether it's morally wrong to use my similarities to Aleks to twist Malachy's arm. I don't have time to worry about the consequences of being caught paying a visit to Katy Branch.
I have to act now.
I race to Malachy's room – praying that Lucrezia hasn't made her way up here in the time Lorna Gray stole from me – and hammer on the door.
To my eternal gratitude, he answers even quicker than he did last night and this time, it's me who shoves him inside and slams the door behind us.
The Gray Institute (The Gray Institute Trilogy Book 1) Page 22
