She didn't return for five years. When she did, she had changed.'
'He changed her.' I state, and Lorna nods.
'I know now what happened, but at the time, she just disappeared into thin air. The police were called, an investigation was opened, search parties formed but no one could find her. At first they thought it might be an abduction, for a ransom you know?
Then when she didn't return, and no phone calls came from kidnappers, the police decided that it was a ransom situation gone wrong. That perhaps the abductors had killed her accidentally. They closed the case.
My old nanny heard of my mother's disappearance and came back to look after me. We had to move away from the manor. I moved into my nanny's house nearer to town, and she brought me up herself.'
'What really happened?' I ask, engrossed in Lorna's almost unbelievable tale.
'From his account, Alec followed her that day and approached her again, attempting to woo her. When she rejected him yet again, he lost his temper and flew into a frenzy, attacked her, leaving her half-dead. He regretted it instantly – from what he tells me – and changed her without the Auctoritas' permission, bringing her here to the Institute.
He sought out the Auctoritas approval, they granted it on the grounds of her nobility – though they were angry as she'd left many people behind who would miss her – and she served out her five years here as Alec's unwilling wife. The fourth and fifth years knew her, I've heard most of this story from them.
She hated it here, apparently; refused to participate in the lessons, until eventually Alec confined her to his quarters. She was tutored one to one and allowed to speak to nobody but him.
Eventually, when her five years were up, she managed to convince Alec to let her leave the Institute. He tells me it was on the grounds that she always came back to him.
The first thing she did was come to me.' She smiles proudly, hugging her chest, as though it were her mother in her arms.
'I was fifteen when she came back. She didn't stay long, she wanted to make sure I was alive and being looked after. She could have just checked on me and gone undetected but when she saw me, she couldn't bear it and decided to show herself to me, so that I knew she was still alive. I was asleep in my bed when she climbed through my window,' She grins at the memory.
'She shook me awake and hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe. I freaked out – she looked so different – but she told me it was okay, that she was alright but that she couldn't stay – if she did I would be in danger.
She wouldn't tell me anything else, I guess she was trying to protect me. She just told me she loved me and that she would always be looking out for me. Then she left.'
My cigarette has burned down to the end and I throw it over the cliff's edge into the water, not taking my eyes off Lorna.
'Alec tells me she went into hiding for two years, on the run from the Auctoritas and Alec himself. He said he has no idea how she evaded capture for so long.
The Auctoritas instructed Alec to find her and bring her to the Confine. He says he put off looking for her for as long as he could, even swears that he caught her once and deliberately let her go, though I don't know how true that is.
But eventually he had to bring her in, and she was Confined. His next task was to find and kill me; I knew too much and was a threat to their world. I don't know why the Auctoritas allowed me to live for the two years she ran, my only conclusion is that they wanted Alec to carry out both tasks himself, as a punishment for his indiscretion.
Not that I knew enough to expose their precious world. All I knew was that my mother was different, I didn't know how or why and I didn't care so long as she was alive. The thought had crossed my mind that Alec was involved with her disappearance, but I was a kid, no-one listened to me.
The day he came I was outside, pegging out washing in the front garden. I remember clearly setting eyes on him as he strolled confidently up the garden path, his appearance utterly unchanged.
He asked me to accompany him inside and I refused, threatening to shout for Maria – my nanny – though she wasn't even home.
He grabbed my wrist and dragged me inside. His strength was unbelievable and I knew then that something was wrong – call it natural prey instinct.
He made me sit at the dining room table as he paced the room, looking up at me every now and then. He seemed to be struggling with something – I was terrified.
Then, after about ten minutes, he grabbed my wrist again, telling me that if I made a sound he would kill me then and there. I didn't dare as he led me to his car and drove me to the airport.
We got on a plane to St Lucia and there he injected me with something, I blacked out and when I woke up I was here, at the Institute, the rules and regulations being drummed into me.' She shakes her head sadly, glancing around, as if taking in her life for the first time.
I sit quietly beside her, not sure what to say except to apologise with sincerity for all that has happened to her. She stares at me, her gaze clouded, as though she's looking through me.
'Now do you see?' She asks fiercely. 'You see why I hate your kind? That bastard took my mother's life in a fit of rage because she wouldn't give in to him. He had no concern for her dead husband or her grief. He didn't love her, he just wanted to possess her. He'd probably never been rejected until her.
He confined her in his Institute, then Confined her for contacting me. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, he took her daughter and did exactly the same to her.
It's not just Alec; the Auctoritas are a bunch of corrupt, self-indulgent, paranoid schizophrenics. The tutors are weak, spineless clones of their Government, unable to think for themselves or form opinions of their own.
You have to bow down to a higher power, you have no choice. You're not stronger than humans, you can't even exercise your own free will. Your world isn't a dictatorship, it's a fucking farm. You're harvested, preyed on because of your misfortune in life, and brought here to be moulded into what they want you to be.
Look at Malachy Beighley,' She pauses as I wince. I want to shut her out, to clamp my hands over my ears rather than listen to her pick apart my new world and my new life. But she continues.
'He loved that girl, probably more than you or I could ever imagine, and because of his Government – his own family – he now lives his life a broken man, a puppet with many strings and many masters.
Look at those students in your Practical class, unable to refuse to participate in something that sickened them to their stomachs without receiving a punishment – without living in fear.
You all live in fear.
The 'laws' aren't laws, they're shackles. What kind of Government punishes people indefinitely for completely different severities of crime?
Look at my mother, rotting in the Confine. A Duchess, a beautiful, intelligent, kind-hearted woman turned to a vegetable, existing rather than living. Serving out a fate worse than death,' She runs out of steam, breathing hard. Her cheeks are flushed a bright scarlet, her breaths are ragged, her heart beats faster than any I've heard before. She shakes with rage, spitting her words like venom, subconsciously smashing the palm of her hand against the hard stone.
'But not for long.' She mutters her last words. They're almost lost on the wind, but I catch them.
'Lorna?' I frown, feeling suddenly unsettled. I know I should run, I shouldn't listen to what she's about to say. I don't want to listen, I don't want to know.
'Katy Branch was right when she told you I asked for her help,' She smirks slightly. 'But she wasn't right about what I asked for it for,' She explains. 'I didn't want to bring down the Institute – I don't have the power to do that. But I asked her to help me to see what her reaction would be. When she ran to Alec, I knew she couldn't be trusted with my real plan.'
'Your real plan?' I curse myself for asking.
'To escape the Institute.' She gushes, turning to me with such enthusiasm and force, I'm worried her heart will give out.
'Lorna
, no...' I reply automatically, but she's already talking over me, not interested in the slightest thing I have to say.
'To find the Confine. There are still Immortals out there who are loyal to the Rebels, I know there are. They conspire and meet in secret, planning the next rebellion, planning to break the Rebels out.
I can find them, find the Confine, find my mother...'
'Lorna, you'll die...'
'I know I'll die! Of course I'll die!' She tuts irritably 'But at least I'll die trying to free my mother. I'd rather die than be changed.'
'Is that what your mother would want?' I ask her. 'For you to die in a pointless, infeasible mission to save her?'
'She would want me to do what's right!' She yells passionately. 'To play my own small part in bringing your whole world down on its head. And it wouldn't necessarily be infeasible. I will die, but the other Rebels may break in, they may be able to free the Confined.' Lorna is getting over excited, speaking too quickly, her eyes too bright.
'If they could break the Confined out, don't you think they would have done it already?' I reason, but she shakes her head.
'But they haven't had a human to use as bait, up until now. Those guards are stuck in the Confine day in, day out, their hunting times are sparse. I could easily distract them...'
'Lorna, it's ridiculous! It's completely far-fetched and impossible!' I stand, shouting over the wind and the waves, rounding on her like a puma. She closes her mouth quickly, glaring at me through stray strands of chocolate coloured hair.
'I'm not going to sit here and listen to you explain a suicide mission to me. It's not even a suicide mission, it's a suicide inevitable failure!'
'How can you say that?' Her face contorts with rage as she stands to meet my height, almost. 'You listened to the story about my mother! How can you pretend it's not justified?'
'I'm not saying it's not justified. I am truly sorry about what happened to your mother and what's happened to you. There's absolutely no denying you got a seriously shitty deal and Sir Alec is a total and utter bastard. Yes, you're right, the Auctoritas are fucking insane, our laws are ridiculous, our justice system corrupt, but this is not a good plan! This won't fix anything!
All it will leave is one dead body and another bunch of Rebels Confined!' I can't control my anger and desperation as I speak, my voice rises in volume until even the crashing of the sea is drowned out.
'Then so be it!' Lorna replies, her tone final as she glares into my eyes, her stubborn face set in stone. I shake my head, unable to comprehend her reason or thinking, completely at a loss as to what I can say to make her see sense.
In my heart I know there's nothing I can say, nothing that will change her mind. She is the most stubborn, opinionated person I have ever met.
'Fuck this.' I throw my arms up in defeat and turn to head back to the Institute, with or without her.
I knew it was a mistake to get involved with Lorna Gray. Katy Branch warned me and I should have listened. I will be punished now no matter what, but at least I could have saved myself some time. Spent it on better things.
'I thought you were different!' Her voice cracks from behind me and as much as I don't want to, I halt, slowly and reluctantly turning back to her.
Her expression breaks my unbeating heart, her eyes desperate, her mouth twisted in anger. I realise then that I am her last hope. She can't do this alone and now she's out of time. She has less than a month until Sir Alec changes her and I feel guilt-ridden through no fault of my own.
'I thought you understood!' She cries, sobbing again. I rush to her – mainly because I don't know what else to do – and throw my arms around her, crushing her to me.
'I do!' I protest, cupping her wet face in my hands. 'Of course I do, I understand. But Lorna, I can't condone this plan. It will not work. You've concocted it out of desperation because you don't know what else to do and you won't go down without a fight and I love that about you,' I say truthfully. 'But I can't allow you to get yourself killed for no reason. I certainly can't help you, I could never live with myself.' I shrug, at a loss.
She pushes me away and I release her, watching in bemusement as she crosses to the cliff's peak, coming dangerously close to the edge.
'If you won't help me, I'll throw myself off right now!' She threatens. I gawk at her, amazed at how quickly the atmosphere has changed.
'Jesus Christ!' I shake my head. 'Don't be stupid, Lorna. I'd have you in my arms before you could take a step.'
She sniffs, realising I'm right. 'Eve,' She moves swiftly to me, holding my hands tightly in hers. Her green eyes plead with me, looking as deeply into mine as she possibly can, begging me with everything she has.
'I need you.' She states, crumbling before me. I support her weight, wrapping my arm around her waist. 'I don't want to be changed!' She sobs into my shoulder and I stroke her hair, suppressing an urge to scream.
How can I possibly be put in this situation? How can I say no to this girl who is breaking before my eyes? How can I walk away knowing I was her last hope, and that I'm single handedly condemning her to a life she despises above everything else?
'Lorna...' I hesitate, hating the sounds of her racking sobs, convulsing her body. 'Listen, Lorna. Listen to me,' I urge her, pulling her head away from my shoulder and forcing her to look at me. 'I will think about it, okay?' I can't believe the words as they tumble from my mouth, but I'm relieved when her sobbing stops.
'You mean it?' She breathes, her eyes wide.
'I mean I will think about it. It's a terrible plan, there's holes all over the place. I don't know...' I'm not sure if I'm lying to her or telling the truth. Her plan is completely out of the question but could I really live with myself knowing I did nothing to help her? What does she mean to me? Is she really worth risking my life for?
'I will think about it.' I reassert myself, averting my eyes as her lips split into a huge grin.
'Thank you, Eve! Thank you!' She kisses my cheek and I sigh, setting her straight on her feet.
'I said, I'd think about it. I didn't say yes,' I remind her, closing the discussion. 'Let's get you back. I can't help anybody if Sir Alec Confines me for practically abducting you.'
Chapter Twenty-Two
Tia is in our room when I get back, sitting cross-legged on her bed. She's reading a magazine, the glossy celebrity type, and she glances up from it as I close the door. I head straight over to my bed and throw myself onto the mattress, my mind filled with thoughts of Lorna and her ridiculous plan. I bury my head in the feathery pillow, praying for suffocation.
'Are you really not going to talk to me?' Tia's tone is sulky and I almost stand straight back up to leave.
'Not now, Tia.' My muffled reply is drowned out by her next sentence.
' – I mean, I know I said some things that were – well, completely true – but could have been said in a nicer way, I suppose – '
'Oh, please, don't reproach yourself, Tia.' I mutter sarcastically, but she's still not listening.
' – But I thought by now you'd have calmed down and realised that I was only saying it as your friend. I can't believe that you're letting a man come between us. I thought we were better than that, I thought you – '
'Tia!' I scream at the top of my lungs into the pillow. Her high-pitched chatter ceases and I haul myself upright to look at her.
'I have just had the worst thing that could possibly, ever, in the world happen to me, happen. So really, I'd appreciate it if we could drop this pathetic spat.
Okay, I take your opinions on board. Okay, I appreciate you trying to be a friend. But right now, Malachy Beighley is the last thing on my mind.' I say truthfully, letting myself flop back down onto my bed, face up.
'Jesus,' Tia breathes. 'What happened?' She darts off her bed and bounds onto mine, crossing her legs and poking me with a sharp fingernail. I sigh, wondering where to begin. Tia's expression is eager, her amber eyes big with the prospect of gossip.
Lorna's words tumble out of
my mouth as I repeat her story from start to finish. Tia follows and nods and gasps in all the right places and, as I come to the ridiculous plan to escape, she jumps from my bed, landing smoothly on her feet like a cat.
'Is she crazy?!' She screeches, her voice at a level only a dog could hear. 'You're not seriously entertaining the idea of helping her, are you?'
'I wasn't. But you didn't see her, Tia. I'm her last hope, after me there's no turning point. I'll be condemning her. How the hell was I supposed to just say 'no'?'
'You just say 'no', Eve. Better yet you ask her if she's got a screw loose,' Tia throws her arms up in despair. 'That's the worst idea I've ever heard in my entire life! We shouldn't even be talking about this. We shouldn't even be thinking it, that's how dangerous this is!'
'You think I don't know that, Tia?' I scowl, wondering why I bothered to tell her.
'Eve, what is this?' She suddenly turns serious, perching on the edge of my bed and taking my hand. 'Lorna Gray is nothing to you. Why on Earth do you feel like you have to help her?'
The Gray Institute (The Gray Institute Trilogy Book 1) Page 31
