Snap.
The pencil he'd been holding in his other hand split in two. "Luke is okay with that? With what's going on there?" he asked a little more harshly than he'd intended.
Frannie was silent for longer than normal before speaking. "I wouldn't say Luke is happy about it, no. Especially since Sorell is dating the pack master of the only other pack in this area. Has to be a conflict of interest of sorts. There are shifter politics going on that I don't quite understand myself. But, he also realizes that Sorell is a grown man and should be able to make his own choices."
"But Luke is the alpha of your pack! It is his job to ensure the safety of his pack members."
"True. And I think he is doing the best he can. His pack is small but that's still six lives he is responsible for. Seven, if we count you, which I know he does." Frannie was sounding so reasonable it made Felix wonder where his younger sibling went. "Felix, is there something else about Sorell's relationship that is bothering you?"
"What do you mean? What else could be bothering me? I'm a doctor, Francesca, it goes against my profession to see someone getting hurt over and over when it is entirely preventable."
"So you are upset about Sorell strictly on a professional level?" Even through the phone with a baby fussing in the back, Felix could tell she didn't mean it.
The situation was one that Felix hadn't allowed himself to dwell on. When he'd gotten back from Zambia he'd been a clear mess. It took him time to be mentally well enough to visit Frannie and Finn. But even then he'd gone with a dual purpose. His time alone had allowed him time for reflection and while he'd always thought of himself as a good brother to Frannie, Finn and his other brother, Farley, he wondered if they always knew that his pushing them as children and teen-agers had come from a place of love. Particularly with Finn.
Finn had been painfully shy as a child and Felix had taken it upon himself to put Finn in the spotlight, like throwing a child into a pool so he'll learn how to swim. Finn hadn't and it had been a shitty thing to do. Finn had started avoiding him and still did up until Felix had helped deliver his baby. Something about delivering your little brother's baby really brought a family together.
It had been on that mission to reconnect with Finn and Frannie that Felix had first met Sorell. He'd been unmarked back then. And...beautiful. Felix had never had urges or thoughts about another man before, much less one so much younger. You don't now either. You're worried, that's all. He's a member of the pack that is under your care and you are worried for his health.
"Hello, earth to Felix. Did you stop listening? I swear to God no one hears me say anything. Am I speaking? Am I saying real human words in a language anyone can understand?"
Felix smirked. His little sister, the drama queen from day one. "Yes, I can hear you. I am at work."
"Okay, for one, you called me. For two, if you can hear me, what did I just ask you?"
Felix groaned silently. He went on the big-brother, not-so-mature defense. "You know, I am a very important doctor with important tasks. You'll have to forgive me if I don't hang on your every word while I am saving lives."
Frannie laughed. "Shut it, mom isn't around to impress. Anyway. I asked if you could come over real quick to watch Serena Ann. I've got to go to FedEx and print off my rough draft because the printer in this house is broken after someone knocked it over trying to plug in his PlayStation!" Frannie's words had grown louder and higher in pitch the more she spoke as if she was yelling at someone who wasn't there.
Felix brushed his broken pencil into the wastebasket. He wasn't technically scheduled to see patients that day, but he'd shown up anyway to help until they'd caught up. "I'll be right there, Frannie, dear."
***
Less than thirty minutes later Felix pulled up in front of the pack house. He grabbed the cardboard drink holder and went up the path, going straight inside the house without knocking. Frannie sat on the floor, cooing and making indecent noises with her mouth, much to the delight of the tiny infant on the mat in front of her. She looked up at his entrance, her curly brown hair, similar to his own except much longer, framed her oval face. She had on her "uniform" of yoga pants and a pullover.
"Thank God." Her eyes spotted the drink container. "Are one of those coffees for me?" Her eyes widened until they were impossibly round. That was the look that had gotten her anything she'd wanted as a child.
"Of course, you spoiled princess."
She snatched the cup without a comment to what he'd said. "I won't be long. She just had a change so you should be good on that front. Her bottle is warming in the kitchen and she might be ready for another nap sprint if you're lucky."
"The FedEx is just down the street..."
"I know." Frannie smiled. "But I've been meaning to check out that new bookstore and with you here with her I just thought..."
Felix waved his hand, shooing her off. "Go, I'll enjoy my time with the little rugrat. Is no one expected home?"
Frannie shook her head. "Not during the day on a weekday. They all have jobs and school and...I don't know, pack stuff. There are leftovers in the kitchen. Like a thousand times over ever since Pippen started the fish and shellfish course in culinary school."
"Got it. Go. Have fun."
Frannie turned and disappeared out the door so fast Felix was surprised not to see a dust trail behind her. He checked on the baby, lying happily on her mat looking out the window and he went to the kitchen. He located the bottle and decided it needed a few more moments to warm up. Opening the fridge he confirmed Frannie's statement that there were leftovers for days.
There wasn't an inch of space around the carefully stacked and labeled containers. Felix appreciated the neat order. Order had been all that kept him from the dark chasm of his thoughts and memories. Felix blinked, chasing away that line of thinking. In the other room, Serena Ann began to fuss and he grabbed the bottle, deciding it was warm enough.
The adorable baby drank the bottle quickly and by the time she was finished her eyes were closed. Her lips remained parted in a little "O" shape even after he removed the bottle. Felix carried her down the corridor into Finn and Luke's room. Serena Ann's crib sat in the corner. He snuggled her down in the crib on her back and sat down in the recliner chair next to the crib where he could watch her sleep in comfort. He imagined many of the others in the pack doing just as he was doing. They all took turns caring for the little one and now helped with Christian and Derrick's babies when they needed it. That's what families did, what packs did for each other. Felix leaned back and let out a long breath.
He knew, distantly, that he was sleeping, simply because when he slept he was being tortured by the past and Felix knew where the dirt path in front of him was going to lead. He took the slow, hesitant steps down the trail to Kofi's hut anyway, unable to stop himself any more than he was able to not know this was all a dream. He wanted to run into Kofi, or maybe his mother, carrying his baby sister in a wrap at her hip. If he did, it meant that maybe he wasn't in the nightmare he knew he was in.
In the dream, Felix had left them for the night, needing to make a supply run to pick up more anti-malarial drugs. The nearby guerrillas were just as afflicted as those people living in the tiny village outside of Mongu where Felix was stationed. Because of this, he'd had to take a circuitous route to ensure he wasn't ambushed and robbed.
The moment his Jeep had pulled up to the village he'd known there was trouble. Thin lines of gray and black smoke spiraled into the air, portents of what was to come. He thought of Kofi's smile, about how he'd seen every one of his younger siblings inside of it. He thought of the way the boy looked at him with trust, like Frannie did, how he wished Finn had.
Somewhere, up the path, inside of Kofi's hut, a baby cried.
"Felix!" Someone shook his shoulders. Stuck between nightmare and real life, Felix bolted upright from the rocking chair. He slammed right into a firm, lithe body and it was as if he knew, even with his eyes closed and confused, that it was Sorell. He wrapped
his arms around the other man immediately, saving him from falling back and crashing into the crib. When he pulled Sorell tight against his chest though, that was his subconscious seeking comfort.
His forehead and neck were cold and sticky from sweat and his limbs still shook, but Sorell's interruption had saved him from experiencing the nightmare's grand finale and for that, he was thankful.
"It's okay," Sorell said soothingly. His words washed over Felix like a balm, soothing his ragged breathing. "It was just a dream."
"Nightmare," Felix choked out. Though, his body had already begun to calm. His heartbeat slowed. He realized that he not only still clutched the other man to his chest, but that his hands were making little kneading motions on his arms. Felix let go and stepped back, bumping into the rocking chair while also feeling the stark loss of heat. "Sorry, for groping you," Felix said, more because he felt like he should say something than because he meant it.
"I don't mind," Sorell said and then blushed. "I mean, do you want to talk about it?"
Not ever. "I don't want to burden you."
"It's not a burden. I understand having memories that haunt you."
A clawing force rose up inside of him at Sorell's confession so strong that he was nearly knocked over by the intensity of it. He wanted to—needed to—protect him. The idea of Sorell going though anything unpleasant was unacceptable. He took a deep breath and tried to wrangle the feeling. It was too new and too strong. "Where were you?" The question came out more like a bark.
Sorell winced and it was the only answer Felix needed. He searched Sorell for new bruises or bumps as a menacing noise rumbled deep in his chest. Jesus, what is happening to me? I sound like Luke. And it was true, he was fairly certain he had almost growled. He pushed away from Sorell, disgusted with himself for losing control. His control was the only thing keeping him from spiraling down into darkness. "You'll have to forgive me for not understanding the attraction."
"Between two men?" Sorell spat.
No. That wasn't it at all. He lurched forward, unsure of exactly what he would do once he was within touching distances of Sorell. Serena Ann's wail pierced between them.
He came to a stop as logic returned to him. How did Sorell agitate him, get him to lose his control so quickly and often? It wasn't healthy. He needed to get away from it. "Since you're back, I'll go. Frannie just went out for a little bit."
"Yeah, whatever."
Felix snapped his mouth shut, another unfamiliar longing surging inside him at Sorell's terse answer, to dominate, to show Sorell that he was to be respected by him. He turned away from Sorell, hoping some distance would clear away all of these unfamiliar dominant male urges. He was used to being a leader but not by being so...alpha. Most likely, hanging out with Luke and Derrick was rubbing off on him. Alpha by osmosis or something like that. Felix left without looking back in Sorell's direction. God help him if he did and the other man was smirking at him or some other expression. Felix wasn't sure what he would have done.
Felix didn't sleep well. He'd had his usual nightmare, no one was there to save him from the end this time and he had woken in a cold sweat, his heart pounding, his muscles strained so tightly they ached. When he was able to inhale normally, he held onto the breath, releasing it slowly as he counted to seven. He inhaled again, trying to feel the air as it filled his lungs, held onto the breath and then slowly exhaled. The gray color from outside told Felix it was very early in the morning. Perfect. He slipped on a pair of gym shorts and his runners, grabbed a hoodie and left his apartment, shivering a little in the frigid morning air.
He let his feet fall on the leaf-covered sidewalk, not letting his brain wander to the changes in his nightmare until he had two miles behind him. The rest of the world was still asleep but Felix's mind was spinning. This time, when he'd reached forward to open the blood-smeared, wooden door to Kofi's hut, it had been Sorell's body, sprawled and broken on the dirt floor, his unseeing eyes had drilled into him and he'd shouted out.
Felix urged his legs to go faster. He set a brutal pace, all the better to push every thought from his head until it was only him and his will to go further, faster. He was surprised to see his apartment building looming up ahead of him. The ten-mile loop usually took him a little longer, he counted on it taking him longer. The sun still wasn't even over the horizon. Felix thought about pushing it, maybe doing a few more, but loathed the break in his routine. His routine was everything.
Inside his apartment, Felix stripped off his sweat-soaked clothing and stepped into a lukewarm shower. After, he towel-dried his hair and booted up his desktop. He checked his email, his heart beating a little harder at the messages from his old supervisor with Doctors Beyond Borders. They wanted him back, to re-enlist for another tour. How could they not see that his last tour had taken just about everything from him? He quickly deleted all of those messages. There were a few from some colleagues, requests for assistance in papers and the like, and there were a few medical advancement articles that he perused. Felix had started researching pregnancy and C-section procedures ever since he'd delivered his brother's baby and spent a lot of his time looking into new techniques and figuring out ways to adapt them to a male body.
It was a testament to how empty he had been when he came back that learning his little brother was pregnant from a man who could turn into a huge wolf had barely affected him. Shifters weren't human exactly and had different anatomy from humans. They could also transform their human counterparts, as what had happened to Finn. Luke had altered Finn's body so that it could support life. The same had happened to Christian. It was beautiful when you looked at it and further proof of nature finding a way for love. For the briefest moment, Felix imagined witnessing his loved one, swollen with the proof of their mutual adoration. Kofi and his mother's broken and bloody bodies quickly replaced that image and Felix clenched his teeth. He had no business trying to start a family with anyone.
Felix stood abruptly, adrenaline surging through him, demanding he jump into action. He pulled his runners back on. He felt more like getting into a fight but another ten miles would have to do.
Chapter Three
Sorell could do nothing but grin. He realized now the mistake in sending Finn and Luke to shop for party decorations. One had lived on his own—often in the middle of the woods—since his teens and the other had avoided all human interaction for most of his life. The result was that neither really had any idea what they were doing so much that the pack house living room and part of the kitchen now looked like a party store had thrown up all over every inch of decoratable space.
Streamers of every color were strewn from the light fixtures. There were helium balloons in shapes of popular cartoon characters, a bright smiley face, a tombstone that said "over the hill," and even one silver heart. For some reason, there was a hula dancer tacked to the wall complete with a grass skirt that swished every time anyone walked past.
Sorell's favorite part was watching Luke assure Finn that everything looked fine. Finn had seemed so excited when they first started hanging decorations but his movements had grown more hesitant with each new addition as if he could tell something wasn't quite right.
"...So amazingly festive," Luke mumbled into his mate's ear. "I hope we can save them all for my birthday." Sorell made plans to save the hula dancer for Luke.
His second favorite thing about the decorations was watching the reactions of everyone when he arrived. Christian and Derrick arrived first, pushing the triplets. Christian's eyes widened, but he'd noticed Finn's distress immediately and took to complimenting the decorations right away. Next Conner arrived with Daryl. A look passed between them, but they didn't say anything. The former went straight into the kitchen where Pippen was putting the finishing touches on dinner while the latter followed because that was where the beer was.
"Happy birthday," Daryl grunted to Sorell on his way to the beer. He dropped a brown bag in his lap. Sorell would bet his left leg it was a bottle of liquor. Most lik
ely a type of liquor Daryl also enjoyed, ensuring that Sorell would share it with him. Daryl was rough around the edges for sure, but he was trying to do better by his son, Luke. Sorell appreciated a good father, he hadn't known any before moving to his new pack.
Sorell felt Felix arrive before he actually stepped inside. The feeling was difficult to describe, like his wolf could sense the other man before he was even there. It felt more like a new awareness than a reaction to new stimulus. Felix stood in the doorway, a box tucked under his arm. He didn't even seem to see the decorations, his eyes searched, his gaze looking for something with a wary, nearly panicked, expression. The moment he spotted Sorell, Felix seemed to relax and he stepped all the way inside.
"Fran's just behind me," he mumbled. "Happy birthday, Sorell," he said through the room. He set his present on the coffee table with the others and then sat down on the couch opposite Sorell.
Frannie stumbled in, weighed down with two huge gift bags. She dropped one, pushed her messy curls out of her eyes, and then looked at the living room.
"Cheese and rice, what the hell happened here?" she squealed.
Finn frowned and clutched Serena Ann to his front. Luke growled, turning on Frannie. "It looks great," he said, defending his mate.
Frannie did not back down, despite the growl rumbling from Luke's chest. "It looks like my living room was decorated by a crazy person."
"Well, that's not all the way wrong," Finn said with a smile.
Frannie blinked at him and then started laughing at Finn's reference to his recent stay at Cedar Hills Behavioral Health Institute. Finn joined her in laughing and Luke slowly copied his mate. Soon, every one in the living room was laughing so hard that Sorell didn't hear the door open again.
Isaac stepped through looking far too dangerous and cruel for such a happy room. The laughter stopped immediately, as if his presence had sucked out all of the earlier mirth. "The door was open," he said with an arrogant edge as two of his pack mates walked in after him.
Wolf's Mate Mpreg Romance Box Set Page 35
