After latching the door, I walked toward the living room and kitchen, dropping myself into a rickety chair. I stared down at my feet, wondering if I should begin packing up, cleaning. I felt I couldn’t bring myself to. Knowing I would have no more than a few minutes more with Ethan forced my heart to dip low in my chest. My stomach was tense with sadness, and with hunger.
As I sat there, steaming with loneliness, I heard it. It was a soft, yet very precise rattle.
Glancing across the table, toward the fireplace, I came face-to-face with a giant rattlesnake. His eyes were wide, his tongue flicking in and out of his mouth. He’d lifted his head high, and he was staring at me, as, far behind him, his tail rattled back and forth.
I shot up from the chair, running to the far wall. I didn’t dare say a single word. The snake and I held one another’s attention for a long, horrible moment. Slowly, I began to inch toward the front door, my shoulders quivering.
Stay where you are, I mentally told the snake. You can have the cabin. It’s yours.
With a last bolt toward the door, I rushed from the cabin and back into the darkness of the woods. I felt myself begin to sob with fear, somehow thinking that the snake would be after me, or that there were more in the woods around me. I raced, throwing myself forward as fast as I could. After a moment, I realized I was heading toward the only other safe-haven I knew: Ethan and Gracie’s home.
After stumbling through the forest, feeling wild, I spotted the cabin’s lights between the trees. Immediately, hope filled me. I could almost feel the warmth of the fire, hear Gracie’s laugh. I could almost sense Ethan’s strong arms around me.
When I reached the door, I didn’t hesitate to knock. I heard Ethan stop speaking on the other side. There was a pause. He whispered something to Gracie before creeping toward the door.
“Who is it?” he asked, his voice clipped and short.
“It’s me. It’s Serena,” I called. “Please let me in.”
Ethan unlatched the door quickly, throwing it open. Immediately, he sensed how fear-stricken I was. He reached for me, wrapping his firm arms tightly around me and holding me close. I was shuddering into his chest.
“Jesus, Ethan. It was so terrifying,” I whispered, my voice losing itself in my sobs. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“What is it, baby?” he asked, his voice soft, as if he were speaking to a child.
“Just…” I tried to control my tears, bringing my head back from him. I felt my cheeks grow red. “I forgot to shut the screen door earlier. And I had a surprise visitor.”
Ethan gave me a crooked smile. “Was it rattling around your house?”
“How did you know?” I asked.
He led me deeper into his house, where Gracie was perched on the couch, looking up at me expectantly.
“Those rattlesnakes are crafty, aren’t they, Gracie?” Ethan asked. The girl had donned her white pajamas and her feet hung down from the couch. Her face turned grave.
“You shouldn’t go home tonight,” she whispered. “It’s too dangerous.”
“I’m sure the snake was just as afraid of you as you were of it,” Ethan told me, gesturing for me to sit, to get cozy by the fire. “But you’re right. There’s no sense in going back tonight, is there? Why don’t you sleep here? You can have the bed. I’ll take the couch.”
It was clear that our earlier conversation still hung in the air around us, affirming that we needed to keep our distance.
As my heartbeat began to slow, I took a step forward and collapsed alongside Gracie, just grateful I had some semblance of family, up on the mountain. I wiped my damp cheeks with my hand.
“Thank you so much for everything,” I sighed, feeling foolish. “I thought for sure I was toast.”
“Don’t get many snakes in the city, do you?” Ethan said, maintaining eye contact. “Or maybe just snakes of a different sort.”
“Something like that.” I lifted my feet up out of my shoes and crossed my legs, tucking closer to Gracie. I watched her coloring as the night grew darker, as the time ticked along.
As we sat together, chatting, Ethan disappeared for several minutes. I heard water begin to bubble and boil. Moments later, he appeared in the living room with two cups of hot cocoa, complete with marshmallows. He slid them onto the coffee table, as Gracie leaped forward, her eyes bright.
“Daddy! You made it!” she cried, blowing softly over the melting marshmallows. “Oh, it looks perfect. Thank you.”
I reached forward, gripping the mug. It was warm, but not scalding. I sipped the very top, inhaling the rich scent.
The ambiance was warm, homey, something I was growing even more accustomed to. Ethan slid onto the couch beside me, his hand twitching. He seemed to want to wrap his arm around my shoulders, to cling to me. But he held back, knowing. Knowing and keeping track of the line between us.
“At least we get some extra time together,” Gracie told me, bouncing slightly as she sipped the sugary drink.
Ethan suggested we put on a movie. Rising up, he swept the curtain on the wall to the side, revealing a small television. “We hardly ever watch it,” he said. “Don’t want it to poison our brains, do we, Gracie?”
“Too much TV turns your brain to mush,” Gracie informed me, sounding matter-of-fact.
“But just this once, I think it’ll be all right,” Ethan said.
He snapped on the television, and slid an old movie into the player—one about a young girl on a mission to find her father, who’d disappeared when they’d been homeless in New York City. The girl was a particularly accomplished musician, who played in the city subways for spare change. Her hope was to find her father, to someday reunite and learn why he’d abandoned her. To learn why he’d fallen out of her life.
Halfway through the film, Ethan tilted his head, gesturing toward Gracie. I turned my eyes toward her—her head was resting against Ethan’s shoulder. She was fast asleep. Reaching forward, I grabbed the remote and turned down the volume, giving Ethan a shrug.
“I suppose we should turn it off and hit the hay?” I murmured. “I don’t want to mess up your schedule…”
“Schedule?” Ethan said, chuckling slightly. “You’re not messing up anything. Until that snake gets bored and leaves of its own accord—”
“You mean, because I don’t have anything of value in the cabin?” I asked, joking.
“Something like that,” he said, laughing once more. “All the rattlesnakes out here, just looking to steal your goods. It’s a real problem.”
“Sounds like it,” I giggled. We held one another’s eyes for a moment, as Gracie’s body fell further into her father’s. She sighed heavily, her slumber deepening.
Ethan wrapped his arms around his daughter and lifted her, taking her into the bedroom. I waited, simmering with excitement. I tried to quell it, to put it to rest.
We’re just going to go to sleep, I told myself. Can’t do anything else. It would overcomplicate everything. It would make saying goodbye that much more difficult.
Ethan crept out of Gracie’s bedroom and he closed the door softly. He stood, gazing at me with loving, glowing eyes.
I turned away from him, whispering, “I’ll take the couch, by the way. Shouldn’t ruin your sleep just because I can’t handle a little bit of wildlife.”
“Serena,” Ethan said, taking a large step forward and leaning against the couch. He peered down at me, as if he was trying to memorize my every line, my every curve. I wondered what he saw when he looked at me. Certainly, I wasn’t the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Certainly, when compared to his bounty hunter years, I was a nobody. Someone he’d forget in an instant.
“What?” I asked him, my brain foggy with the rush of thoughts.
“You’re going to be sleeping in the bed, and that’s that,” he said, giving me a sneaky smile.
“Never,” I said, biting my lip. “I don’t deserve it.”
Ethan brought his legs over the edge of the couch, sliding int
o place beside me. We were now mere inches away from one another, our noses nearly touching. I felt the heat off of him, emanating through the air.
Swallowing sharply, I remembered the way we’d ripped the clothes off of one another with the natural world around us. It had been invigorating.
“I’ll probably think about it forever,” I whispered, my voice catching.
“About what?” he asked.
“This vacation,” I said, my lips parting. They were wet, probably shiny.
I allowed my tongue to draw another line over them. I yearned to match my tongue with his, to link them up. To draw a line of passion from his neck, to his nipples, to his perfect six-pack abs, and then to the girth of his cock.
Perhaps he could see the flicker of desire in my eyes. Reaching forward, he brought his arm around me, holding me tightly against him.
“Cuddling?” I murmured, leaning my head against the couch cushion. Every breath I took, I inhaled the smell of him. I was filled with lust, drawing deep breaths. “We really shouldn’t.”
“Nobody should go to sleep without a bit of cuddling,” he told me, tucking his head closer to mine. Now, our lips were just an inch or two away from one another. I could see nothing but his head and dark hair, his blue eyes.
Biting my lip, I felt another wave of lust hit me, straight in the heart and stomach. I wasn’t going to be able to keep this up for long.
“It would destroy me, I think,” I whispered to him, knowing he would understand just what I meant.
“We don’t make it out of this life alive,” he returned, his voice growing gravelly. “And we always go alone. As horrible as it is to say that, you have to realize. This could be our last night, baby. It makes it even more beautiful, because it’s temporary.”
“You’re one of those poet bounty hunters,” I said, laughing sadly. “All the girls, from coast to coast, fell for you. I know it.”
“Only one of them matters,” he answered.
And that was that.
He moved forward, gripping my lips with his. The kiss was passionate, like a punch in the gut. He forced my lips to separate, and he slid his tongue alongside mine. My brain forgot all else except for his scent, his lips, his tongue, and his body, which began to move over mine.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was tugging his T-shirt over his head and bringing my fingers over the coarseness of his chest hair. He was ripping at my clothes, bringing my pants down to my ankles. He huffed with excitement, feeling the smoothness of my thighs as I wrapped them around his waist.
After several minutes, he lifted me from the couch. I was light in his arms, clinging to his neck and kissing his shoulders, his cheek, his ears, as he carried me through to the bedroom.
The moment we reached his bed, he slipped me atop the comforter and gazed down at my body. The glow from the fairy lights played off of my slim frame and my curves.
All time was lost after that.
Before I knew it, he was deep within me, the girth of his perfect, veiny cock filling me. I gasped, bringing my hands around his back and gripping his shoulders as he made long, slow, and passionate love to me.
I felt my G-spot begin to throb with delight, knowing he was grinding against it. His body knew my every tic, after so many hours of lovemaking.
Our cries were soft, knowing we couldn’t wake Gracie. And our love seemed strong, impenetrable, the stuff of daydreams.
Afterwards, we fell asleep in one another’s arms. My head was against his chest, and his firm, muscled arms wrapped tight around my waist and back.
For the first time in a long time, as I drifted off to sleep, I felt complete and totally safe. I felt protected. And for a flicker, during my last moment of consciousness, I knew that Ethan’s arms were the only keepers of my happiness.
And yet, at the same time, I knew I couldn’t stay there forever. Life was temporary, as was love, and childhood, and happiness. Ethan was right. I had to return to my normal life. Only then would I truly understand how beautiful my life had been in the mountains.
Only then would this remain a pure and gorgeous week—the best of my life.
Chapter 10
Ethan
Waking up with a woman in your arms is a unique feeling indeed. It’s something they forget to tell you; it’s something you learn to forget. I hadn’t had anyone sleep alongside me since before Gracie came into my life, and I found sharing the space to be intimate, warm, inviting.
As I blinked awake, I allowed my eyes to trace Serena’s body, from her perfect, angelic face, down the crest of her breasts, along her flat tummy, and toward her thighs.
Yet, with a hammering heart, I remembered that she was meant to return to San Francisco that morning. Knowing that the unreality would break soon, I nudged her and kissed her, waking her as softly as I could.
“Hey, baby,” I whispered, watching as her eyelashes fluttered. “Good morning.”
She gave me a small smile and then thrust her hands upward, stretching against me. She tilted her breasts into me, drawing her body close to mine. Reaching forward, she kissed me slowly, drawing her tongue along mine, parting my lips. Again, I felt my cock begin to grow warm with excitement.
But I knew there wasn’t time. Trying to shush my nagging body, I took a deep breath.
“Gracie will be awake soon,” I said, nudging Serena. “We should probably be dressed before then.”
“Right,” she said, bowing her head. The sizzle of excitement we’d shared, waking alongside one another, was beginning to deflate. I watched as she eased her slender legs from the side of the bed and walked slowly toward the bedroom door. The beginning was over.
After peeking out, and seeing no sign of Gracie, she swept toward the couch and donned her clothes. I watched as she did it, marveling at the intimacy of seeing someone get dressed. It was never a particularly beautiful thing, getting dressed, closing yourself in. But Serena did it gracefully, flipping her hair back. When she appeared back in the doorway, she did so confidently, as if she were pretending to be much more fearless, much less lonely.
“I suppose I better get going, anyway,” she told me, her voice falsely bright. “I’ll get Gracie up to say goodbye.”
“She’ll want to walk you down to your cabin,” I told her, getting up from the bed. “But, Serena…” I paused, wanting to tell her everything I felt. Wanting to ensure she knew that we could build space for her in our lives. I’d never allowed a woman to come into mine and Gracie’s existence, and yet—here she was. After a sleepover, in the light of the morning.
“What is it?” Serena asked me, her eyebrows rising high. I heard a tinge in her voice, showing she was holding back tears.
“Nothing,” I murmured, running my fingers through my hair.
Placing my feet on the floor, I turned toward my chest of drawers and drew out a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt. A traditional, grubby uniform for a Sunday. I joined Serena in the living room, watching as Gracie skirted from her bedroom, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
“There you are,” I told her, sliding my hand over her curly blond hair. “Serena’s about to skedaddle. We have to say goodbye.”
Skedaddle. What a stupid word to say, when losing someone I could have loved.
Love? Did I mean it?
It didn’t matter.
Gracie stuck her bottom lip out, looking like a much younger version of herself. She brought her arms over her chest, looking close to a tantrum. “I thought you’d decide to stay with us,” she huffed.
“Baby, we talked about this…” I began, reaching toward her.
But Serena was faster, wrapping her arms around the girl, holding her against her legs. Gracie let a single, gut-wrenching sob into the air.
“I know,” Gracie whispered. “I’m sorry.”
After a long moment of silence, Serena piped up, trying to conceal her sadness.
“Do you think that snake has left yet?”
“We better go check it out,” Gracie said, her voice
gaining strength. “Daddy, you know how to kill rattlesnakes, don’t you?”
I told her I did.
To assure her, I reached for a large shovel, which I held firmly in my right hand as we began our trek through the forest.
It was a gorgeous day, with the sunlight streaming in between the trees and lighting up Serena’s cheeks. She whistled quietly, asking the odd question. “What’s autumn like up here?” and “Do you ever get snow?” I could sense she was asking “stranger” questions, trying to reaffirm that there was a line between us. That she wouldn’t cross it again.
When we reached her cabin, I darted inside to hunt for signs of the rattlesnake. Bounding through it, I felt the floorboards creak beneath me. As I glanced down, I realized that part of the floor had begun to mold—due to lack of upkeep from the owners (an older couple I’d only met a few times). I felt that this was a dramatic metaphor: that even the place Serena had been staying in was decaying, telling her it was time to go home.
I heard a creak at the screen door. Looking back, I watched as Serena ducked her head in. She gave me a soft smile, before asking, “Do you think I can pick up my stuff?”
“No sign of him anywhere,” I told her, lifting her suitcase high, ensuring the snake wasn’t hiding away. “I think he’s gone.”
Serena entered, with Gracie scampering behind. Her blond hair bounced as she skipped. She leaped into me and gripped me around my waist. “Are you sure she needs to go?”
I eyed Serena as she busied herself, cleaning the countertop and tossing her things into the suitcase. She seemed to be working hurriedly, trying to avoid my eyes. I sensed there were a million things between us. A million words we were never allowed to say. As the minutes ticked along, we became more and more like strangers.
After she’d zipped up the suitcase and slotted it into the trunk of her car, along with the rest of her things, she stood at the porch, fiddling with her hair anxiously. After stuttering, she began. “I guess this is it.”
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