by Sara Orwig
Jake heard the quaver in Rebecca’s voice and knew some of the horror of the afternoon was returning. He tightened his arm, holding her close. “Don’t worry about it until it happens.”
She twisted to look up at him. “Why don’t you have nightmares?”
“People are affected in different ways.”
“You don’t have nightmares because it isn’t horrible to you. You thrive on it,” she said bitterly, and he remained quiet, knowing he couldn’t argue with her.
“If the girls have nightmares, I'll hear them,” he said finally.
“If there are so many police around here, you have a chance to get a regular night’s sleep.”
“I'll do that when this is over. I don’t care if an army is surrounding this house, I'm staying awake most of the night.”
He shifted her slightly, holding her close, his hand massaging her back and his other arm still around her. She knew she should move away from him, because her body was responding to his touch.
“Rebecca,” he said softly, drawing out her name, his head bent close to hers. “Let’s see how the girls get along tonight. Then, what do you think about sending them to stay with Zach and Sally tomorrow for just a couple of days? It would put them out of harm’s way.”
She drew a deep breath. She didn’t like the thought of being separated from the girls, but even as she opened her mouth to say no, she thought about their safety. “Jake, that would be like ripping out part of me and sending it off. On the other hand, I know I need to think about what’s best for them.”
“Meskell really has no interest in the girls. And Sally and Zach would bring them right back here if they seemed unhappy. You saw how good Sally is with kids.”
“I know they had a good time that night they stayed with your family. They've asked about going back,” she said, thinking aloud and barely aware of Jake, her thoughts on the girls. She rubbed her forehead.
“I've never really been away from them for a long period of time. Dan and I didn’t take vacations away from them. We were a together family. Part of it was finances. We couldn’t afford to go off, but I'm so accustomed to having the girls with me that it’s difficult to think about sending them away in a crisis.”
He sat quietly rubbing her back, his hand drifting to her nape. Rebecca inhaled, aware of his fingers trailing back and forth so lightly across her skin. If she wanted to keep barriers between them, she needed to stop his caresses, but his touches were reassuring, and she was torn between what she had decided earlier and what she wanted now.
“I don’t ever want them in jeopardy like they were today,” she said, knowing she should send them to his brother’s. “Do you think Sally and Zach would want to keep them?”
“You know the answer to that one. Talk it over with the girls. Tara is old enough to tell you what she wants, and Sissy will do what Tara wants.”
“And if Tara says no?”
“If they're going to be miserable, then keep them here,” Jake answered, but he hoped the girls had enjoyed themselves enough with Sally and Zach to want to go back.
“You're right. They should be where it’s safe! I'll talk to Tara in the morning, but you talk to Zach and Sally first. I don’t want to interfere in their lives or put them at risk.”
“They won’t be at risk. It’s you Meskell is after, Rebecca.”
Jake tilted her chin up. “You were great today. I was afraid you wouldn’t run when I yelled at you. Quick reflexes and all that. After this, I'll get the mail, and anything unusual we'll send to the station first and let them check it out.”
“As far as I'm concerned, you can send all my mail there,” she said, looking into his hazel eyes. He was only inches away, holding her in his arms, his fingers playing across her nape, and she felt her body yearning for him.
They kept staring at each other, tension growing with a silent clash of wills. “Come back to the world, Rebecca,” Jake said softly, his deep voice coaxing.
“I don’t want to live in your world.”
“It’s not always as bad as today. That’s the only bomb I've had to deal with, except one tiny little thing that blew a hole in a safe. You took risks before and had a happy marriage. You've focused on the bad part of it and blanked out the rest.”
“No, not completely.”
“I can understand why you did, but now it’s time to let go.” His voice was gentle and her heart drummed and she was torn between what she wanted and what better judgment screamed at her to do.
“I don’t know why men like you come in such attractive packages.”
Amusement curved one corner of his mouth slightly. “Thank you. I didn’t know I was an attractive package.”
She wiggled and slipped off his lap and moved away from him, walking to the kitchen to get a drink of water. Jake followed her and crossed the room to stand behind her.
“You're like Dan. You're understanding and good-looking and sexy—”
“My, oh, my!” he exclaimed, bending his head to brush his lips across the nape of her neck.
She whirled around to face him, and even in the dim light of the kitchen he could see the sparkle of tears in her eyes. “But you love risk. That bomb didn’t scare you today.”
“The hell it didn’t.”
“All right. To put it another way, your only reaction afterward was anger. You weren’t terrified or appalled. You won’t have nightmares.”
“No, I won’t.” He moved closer and slid his arms around her, reaching up to wipe a tear off her cheek.
Rebecca ached, because Jake was so many wonderful things. He was good with the girls and he was understanding and sexy and appealing. But he wasn’t into commitment or marriage and she couldn’t have an affair. “You don’t want a long-term relationship,” she stated.
“I'll take sexy and good-looking and understanding, Rebecca, but don’t say I'm not into anything long-term,” he answered quietly. Gazing at her solemnly, he pulled her closer. “I love you.”
Stunned, she looked up at him in surprise. The words poured over her, shaking her. There was no mistaking the look in his eyes. He bent his head, cupping her head with his hand as he placed his mouth over hers. His lips parted hers, his tongue sliding into her mouth, thrusting over hers.
Heat shot through her, and she moaned, her body clenching with need. Her hands raised and rested on his arms, feeling the bulge of his strong biceps. She trembled, relishing his words, but shocked by them, as well, because he didn’t seem like the kind of man to say them easily.
His arm tightened around her, pulling her up against him as he bent over her and his kiss deepened. And she fought responding to him, torn more than ever because of his declaration. She pushed his chest lightly, and he raised his head as she gasped for breath.
“You can’t mean that! We don’t know each other that well.”
“Oh, yes, we do. It doesn’t always take a lot of time, Rebecca. And we've been living together under the most trying circumstances possible.”
“Jake, I don’t even know if that’s something you tell all the women you date. I don’t know if you've dated around a lot, or even if you've ever been engaged.”
“I've never been engaged,” he said, his hand sliding to her hip while his other hand stroked her throat, caressing her, sliding across her nape and over her shoulder. His fingers drifted across her lips, making them tingle. “I haven’t told all the women I date that I love them. I've had a couple of relationships that have been somewhat long-lasting, but I wasn’t wildly in love and neither were they. Sort of friend-lover relationships. I've been burdened with bills and brothers and our ailing mother and responsibility—”
“And you said you wanted your freedom from all that for years,” she said, still astounded and trying to sort out his feelings.
“That was before I met you. Somehow you don’t seem the same as sending my brothers through college and dealing with all that. And that came in my early years, when I was a kid and I wanted to go to college and cou
ldn’t because I had to support them. Now I have a decent job and some savings and have the ranch on a paying level. I'm in a different situation.”
“That isn’t what you said to me when you came here. And that was only a short time ago.”
“I have a whole different perspective now. Do you think I haven’t thought about this? Do I look like the type of man who doesn’t know what he wants?”
“No, you don’t,” she said warily, her heart pounding. Part of her wanted to melt into his arms. The other part was frightened because she did not want to fall in love with Jake.
“I love you,” he said quietly. His hands slid over her shoulders and then down to her hips, and he pulled her closer. “And I think you're a warm, wonderful woman who needs to let go of the past.” Jake bent his head, his arm sliding around her while he kissed her.
Rebecca’s heart thudded, and she stood stiffly in his arms, yet her body was melting, her heart pounding. His tongue invaded her mouth, sliding over hers, thrusting deeply, while she quivered and heat pooled low within her, turning into flames that licked through her veins.
“I can’t,” she whispered, knowing she didn’t want to yield to him. It wasn’t just letting go of the past. It was facing a future like today over and over again.
His hands drifted down, unfastening her blouse and pushing it off her shoulders.
“Jake, I can’t change. And all I have to do—” she said, closing her eyes, holding his arms as he unfastened her lacy pink bra. Jake pushed it away, cupping her breasts in his big hands, and her words ended on a gasp of pleasure.
His thumbs flicked over her nipples as Jake bent to kiss her. His declaration of love felt so right. He wanted her and he was willing to risk his heart to try to win her over.
“I want you, Rebecca,” he whispered, trailing kisses along her throat to her breasts, cupping her right breast and taking the nipple in his mouth to tease and suck gently, hearing her moan of pleasure, which set him on fire.
He was hard and he wanted her, but he would give her the time she needed. And he prayed he could overcome the objections she was going to raise.
Rebecca shook as he kissed her. She didn’t want to be in love with him. He was a wonderful man, but he also was what she disliked most.
She pushed on his shoulders and he moved away a fraction. He was breathing hard, a lock of brown hair falling over his forehead. His hazel eyes smoldered with desire.
“Jake, stop,” she said, but the word held no force, and she was breathless. She pulled her clothes into place again. “You know you can destroy all my thoughts when you love me, but I don’t want this.”
He stroked a lock of hair from her cheek and tucked it behind her ear, his warm fingers brushing her face. “You took risks before and you were happy,” he said in a husky voice. “What have the past years been like without Dan?”
“That isn’t a fair question, because I was deeply in love.”
“They were empty, weren’t they? I know you have the girls, but there were empty nights, lonely moments. You live out here in isolation and you work alone. You're warm and giving, and you weren’t meant to go through life hiding from love.”
“Don’t tell me how to live my life!” she snapped, taking his wrists and moving his hands away. His words had hit a nerve. And after having him under her roof constantly, it would be worse than ever when he was gone.
He caught her face, winding his hands in her hair and holding her tightly, moving close to look down into her eyes. “You need love in your life, Rebecca. And I need you.”
She trembled, the words pouring into her heart, making joy leap within her. Yet, in spite of her longing, she wasn’t going to yield to him. He would be gone soon, and she would adjust.
“Jake, you don’t really want—”
He placed his finger over her lips. “Yes, I damned well do. I love you, lady. And I'm going to fight for you.” He bent his head, his tongue parting her lips and sliding deep into her mouth in a demanding kiss that carried the same promise as his words.
Her heart pounded, because he was the most temptation she had ever had in her life. She wanted him in so many ways, wanted to throw good sense aside, toss all her fears away.
His arms wrapped around her, and he pressed her softness against him. She felt his long, lean strength, his hard arousal, and she knew he wanted her, and she was dismayed that he said he loved her.
Unable yet to push him away, Rebecca relished his kiss, returning it as his tongue slipped into her mouth, playing over her tongue. She moaned, her hips thrusting against him, desire a burning ache deep within her.
Finally she placed her hands on his arms and pushed him away. She stepped back. “I mean it, Jake. I won’t get involved. I think I better go,” she said.
Her breathing was as ragged as his. His eyes seemed to bore into her. He stepped aside and let her go, and she trembled as she rushed from the room.
Jake watched her disappear into her bedroom and wondered if he could get her to turn her fears loose. And how badly was he going to be hurt if she didn’t?
He ached for her, his body on fire with need, but that was nothing compared to the longing in his heart. Now that he had made his decision, it felt so right.
He moved through the house, knowing with all the cops outside this would be a night he could get some sleep, yet he was too wound up. And he wanted to see how the girls and Rebecca got through the night.
Would she even agree to see him when this was over? He suspected that if he didn’t win her over while he was under her roof, he might not ever get another chance. He raked his fingers through his hair, combing it back from his face. The last thing he had expected when he took this assignment was to fall in love with the woman, but fall in love he had. He wanted her, and he knew he couldn’t sleep now even if they told him Meskell was behind bars.
Jake sat down to pull off his boots so that he could move around without making noise. Finally, at about five in the morning, he stretched out on the sofa and fell asleep, suspecting he was going to need his rest in the nights to come.
* * *
When Rebecca entered the kitchen for breakfast the next morning, Jake was pouring milk over Sissy’s bowl of cereal. Coffee was brewing, orange juice was poured for all four of them, and glasses of milk were at each of the girls' places. Jake’s hair was damp from a shower, and he wore a T-shirt and jeans and looked as appealing as ever. She felt a pang, wishing he was an accountant or salesman or teacher, because he was perfect in every other way.
“Good morning,” he said cheerfully, holding out a glass of orange juice to her.
“Thanks for getting breakfast,” she said. His gaze flicked over her, taking in her red T-shirt and cutoffs, and she saw the approval in his eyes as he looked at her and winked.
She turned away, going to the kitchen cabinet to get bread to make toast, wondering if the girls had noticed his wink and would make anything of it.
“Are we going to build another barn?” Tara asked.
“It wasn’t covered in the insurance,” she answered lightly, “so no, we're not. We didn’t need it, anyway, and soon I'll go back to working at my office in town.”
She sat down at the table and picked up her writing tablet to go over the daily tasks. “I'll have to call my customers and tell them there will be a delay getting their orders.” She ran her hand across her forehead. In all the upheaval over Jake’s declaration of love and the bomb, she hadn’t realized that she was temporarily out of business.
“It won’t be a long delay,” Jake said, and she glanced up to meet his gaze, realizing he expected Lenny Meskell to do something again soon.
She listed the customers to be notified and jotted notes about work she could do at home. As soon as they’d finished eating, the girls carried their dishes to the sink and left to get dressed.
“I'll go help Sissy and talk to the girls about going to your brother’s.”
Jake caught her arm and pulled her close, sliding his arm around
her and kissing her lightly. “That’s the way I wanted to greet you.”
“I'm glad you didn’t. I’d be answering questions for the rest of the day!”
“I’d be glad to answer them. I’d be glad to shout my feelings from the rooftop.” He grinned and looked into her eyes, and her pulse drummed. Trying to resist his charm, she wiggled free reluctantly.
“I better go.”
He reached out again to catch her arm. “I called Zach and Sally and talked with both of them, and they would love to have the girls. I've talked to Vance. If you agree, Vance himself will come out with Sally and get them. And Vance won’t let anyone follow him to Zach’s house.”
She nodded. “I'll talk to them about it. I know that would be the safest thing for them.”
She hurried down the hall, her thoughts as stormy as they’d been the night before. If she could just hold out and resist Jake until this was over, then she could think rationally. It would be easier to tell him no then. Now her emotions were raw and everything was so confusing and Jake was pouring out charm.
She entered the girls' room and picked up a hairbrush. “Come here, Sissy, and let me put up your hair. Bring your shirt and I'll help you put it on.”
She helped Sissy into a pink T-shirt that matched her pink shorts and then began to brush her hair. “Tara, how would it be if you and Sissy went to stay with the Delancys again?”
“Hey, neat!” Tara said, smiling broadly. “They have all kinds of books.”
“Sissy, would you like that?”
Sissy laughed and clapped her hands. “Let’s go to the Delancys!”
“Tara, what about if you and Sissy stay there overnight? Jake thinks it would be safer. Probably for two or three days. You could come home anytime you wanted, but it might be better if you're there.”
Tara studied her solemnly and nodded. “We could come home anytime?”
“Of course you can.”
Tara smiled and crossed the room to Rebecca to hug her. “We'll go. It'll be fun, and we'll call you when we want to come home.”
Rebecca laughed. “Well, I might call you first and tell you that it’s time you come home. I'm going to miss my girls, but I bet you'll have fun with Mrs. Delancy.”
