“Are you having cravings?”
I kept my eyes on the sky as I answered him. “A little, but I think I’ve gotten through the worst of it.”
Please let me stay.
Please let me stay.
He nodded, seemingly pleased by my answer. “You feel like you need a fix, come to me or one of the guys.”
Wait—what?
I stared at him in confusion. “And do what exactly?”
He seemed to catch the implication of his own words and his mouth tightened into a flat line. “I just meant that one of us can help you through it. Redirect your focus—take your mind off of it. Shit. You know what I’m trying to say.”
For some reason, the more agitated Charm got, the more amused I became. I tried and failed to hide the smile on my face. “So, if I feel like I want a hit of coke, I should find one of the bikers to sleep with? Is that right?”
He growled and stood up abruptly. “No—fuck. I just meant you might want someone to talk to—keep you like accountable or somethin’. I’m gonna let you stay. I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain though—cooking and cleaning. Are we cl—”
I ignored the pain in my side and threw myself into him, wrapping my arms around his massive chest. “Thank you! I won’t let you down, I promise. This is going to be a good thing. You’ll see.”
I was rambling…like usual, and Charm stiffened under my arms before pulling away. “Whatever—don’t you have shit to clean?”
I nodded. “I do. And don’t worry, if I feel like I need a fix, I’ll find a biker to help me ‘work through it.’ Is that right?”
I had to have a screw loose.
Who messed with the guy who’d just offered her refuge?
This chick, obviously.
“Jesus Christ. I’m regretting this already.” He stormed off the ledge and back toward the house as I rolled to my uninjured side, laughing until tears flowed down my face.
I could do this.
I’d made it through AP Calculus my sophomore year of high school. This was going to be a cake walk compared to that.
I pulled the rubber gloves back up to my elbows and forced the bathroom door open again.
Nope.
I couldn’t do it. I was going to have to break my promise to Charm.
These men were disgusting. So far, Rooster’s room was the only one that hadn’t left me dry heaving in the hallway and I still had two more rooms to finish after this one. Mine and Charm’s. At least I knew that one of those would be simple.
I took in the piles of used Kleenex covering the bathroom counter and floor. Looked like I’d made it to Sneezy’s room, and the man apparently wasn’t familiar with the concept of wastebaskets. I swept the tissues off the counter and into the large black trash bag at my feet.
Once that was completed, I cleaned the mirror and bleached the countertop. I took my time sanitizing everything; avoiding the toilet for as long as possible. It was no wonder they lived alone—I was willing to bet that even club whores had some standards.
With the rest of the bathroom gleaming, I reluctantly turned my attention back to the toilet and wielded the toilet brush as if it was a weapon before taking a tentative step forward. The thing probably hadn’t been cleaned since it was installed.
There was something black on the seat and once I got closer, I realized it was a hair.
I tried telling myself it probably fell from someone’s head and not their—
Nope.
I was going to vomit. My eyes watered and I began gagging. It took several deep breathing exercises and a prayer to any god that would hear me before I felt like I was in control again.
I poured a generous helping of bleach over the entire tank, praying that it would kill all the bacteria that was undoubtedly living on it. It took me three tries, with breaks to step outside the room and gag, but I finally managed to get the damn thing clean.
I mopped and vacuumed before moving down to the end of the hall. Checking my watch, I saw that I had time to clean one more room before I needed to get dinner going. I’d mistakenly thought that I’d just reheat the chicken pot pie from last night, but the bikers devoured every bit of it at lunch, leaving me with no choice but to cook something else.
No big deal.
I’d only made my first meal yesterday.
How hard could another one be?
I decided to leave my room for the next day and just get Charm’s done. I expected it to be locked, but the silver handle turned easily in my hand and I pushed the cleaning cart inside with only the smallest sense that I was intruding. It smelled faintly of leather and smoke, I noted, as I flipped on the light switch. The bed was already made up and everything appeared to be in its place.
I took my dust cloth and wiped down the dressers and nightstand anyway. It took me less than five minutes. Whereas the other bikers had multiple picture frames of what I could only assume were there families, Charm had one. One picture in the entire room; a picture of him and a woman, resting on his nightstand.
They had their arms around each other and he was smiling—making him almost unrecognizable. The girl was beautiful with dark blue eyes and jet-black hair.
I risked a quick glance at the door before easing the top drawer of the nightstand open. I was just going to see if he had any other pictures hidden away. It was crazy, but suddenly, a small part of me needed to know more about this woman.
For instance, where was she?
The drawer was unassuming enough. There were several hastily scrawled notes left on worn pieces of paper, but nothing that caught my eye. I was just about to slide it closed when I noticed the edge of a leather book peeking out from under the papers.
I debated briefly on whether to leave it and walk away, but curiosity won in the end. It was old; the spine had vertical cracks in it and the brown leather was worn and faded. I flipped to the first page and began reading.
“What’d I tell you about bringing strays back here? Was I not clear on that?” His voice sent a tremor of fear through me, but I refused to cower in front of him.
I’d known that it was stupid to think that I could keep a puppy hidden from him. The grounds around here were never ending, but there always seemed to be someone watching. Someone just waiting to bust me doing something wrong.
The poor mutt had wandered into the grocery store with its eyes matted shut and green gunk caked all over its face. The club whore that brought me was distracted with shooting up on the side of a nearby building, so I grabbed the puppy and hid him under my jacket. It was freezing and I figured he wouldn’t last another night.
When I got back to the clubhouse, I found her sitting on an old tire, staring off into space. She’d claimed to be daydreaming, but my dreams never left me looking scared. I dragged her out to the old barn and showed her what I’d gotten for us. With a little bit of digging, I found an old heating lamp and some blankets so the little guy was snuggled in nice and tight.
“He’s real small now, but I swiped a couple cans of dog food so we can fatten him up.”
Her eyes had widened before she dropped to her knees in front of him. Her small hands cupped the puppy’s body as she cradled him to her chest, rocking him like he was a baby.
I’d wanted to think that I’d saved him that night, but she had. One of the club whores had said that nothing was better than a woman’s touch, but I don’t think she was meaning it like that. I never bothered to remember their names; they never stuck around long enough for it to matter.
She’d been right about one thing though—my girl had something I didn’t and it had kept Bones alive.
That was what she’d insisted we name him because he was all skin and bones when we got him. AJ followed us one day and demanded to be allowed a turn to take care of Bones too.
His hair always stuck out in every different direction like it had never seen a hairbrush and I teased that he looked like a rooster. He was always up at the crack of dawn too; his loud voice echoing off the wall
s of the clubhouse, waking everyone within a five-mile radius. Luck would grumble that he was going to build onto the edge of the property and throw all of us kids over there, but he hadn’t made good on that promise yet.
It wasn’t long before taking care of Bones had become an inside operation with us kids—even Matt showed up to help. He never spoke a word; his dad said it was because he was as dumb as his bitch of a mother, but I never saw it like that. He was quiet, but he was far from stupid. He’d write out questions to us on the dirt floor of the old barn and seemed to understand everything that was going on. There was just something in his eyes. You could tell a lot about a person just by looking into their eyes.
Rocky had tried to help, but we figured out really quick that he’s allergic to dogs. He’s allergic to everything. She gave him another task after he covered Bones in his snot.
Vic stole some medical supplies from the basement and managed to get Bones’ eyes completely cleared up. “I’m gonna be a veterinarian, so I need lots of practice. Bonesy, you’ll be my first patient.”
Bones had just stared up at him, trusting that Vic knew what he was doing. And we had. Well, we’d figured most of it out along the way. She made sure that we all had a shift on the schedule she’d made—even convinced some of the older guys to help out when we couldn’t.
Billy complained every time he had to help, but he kept showing up, so it couldn’t have been that bad. His twin, Bobby, showed up every day though—sometimes, even twice a day. They were nothing alike; some days I wondered if they’d gotten mixed up at the hospital.
All of us had worked together to get Bones healthy and now, six months later, we’d been busted. Luck didn’t tolerate strays of any kind. As I faced him, I could only hope that he’d let me take Bones back to town. Miss Pearl would keep him for us; I just knew it.
I nodded. “You told me, sir. I found him and he was sick. I thought I could get him better and then take him into town to sell. Maybe earn some money.”
I hadn’t thought about doing that once, but Luck always seemed to be pleased when I said I was going to make money.
His eyes suddenly looked sad and I became alert. “I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain. I should’ve known you would’ve had a plan; you’re not such a little kid anymore. You’re turning into a man.”
My stomach started to hurt as I asked, “Where’s Bones?”
He shook his head and pointed up above me.
Into the trees.
“I was going to teach you a lesson. Seems like you’ve taught me one though.” He left me standing there, staring up to where my dog—our dog—had been strung up and shot like a criminal. I angrily swiped tears from my face.
I had to get him down.
Before she saw him like this.
I closed the book and replaced it, suddenly regretting ever picking it up in the first place. Luck, whoever he was, had killed their dog. I shouldn’t have pried. Now, I was left with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and an unhealthy suspicion that at least a few of the men had chosen their road names after a stroll down the cereal aisle at the grocery store.
What was I expecting?
That Charm would’ve written about the girl who sat by him in class or what his dreams for the future were?
I was just contemplating who she could’ve been when the door handle began to turn and I immediately rushed into the bathroom where I began throwing cleaning products around, trying to mask what I’d been doing.
Charm froze when he saw me. “What are you doing in here?”
I pointed down at the bottle of glass cleaner as if it was suddenly going to speak up and save me the trouble. “I—you said—I—the door was unlocked.”
The corner of his mouth turned up and he crossed his arms over his broad chest. “You came in because the door was unlocked?”
I nodded and then shook my head. “No—well, yes. You wanted me to clean and the door was unlocked, so I assumed you wanted your room done too.”
I cleared my throat and looked down at the tile floor, afraid he’d see the truth written on my face.
I know about Bones.
And I’m so sorry.
“Okay then. Well, don’t let me stop you. Continue.” He went over to a desk in the corner of the room and sat down with his back to me and I fought the urge to go over and hug him.
Instead, with shaking hands, I began spraying down the mirror. His room was probably the cleanest of them all—it looked like he’d had someone come in this morning. He was probably one of those people that cleaned up their hotel room too.
“Hello?”
I jumped at the sound of Charm’s voice in the other room, knocking over the roll of paper towels in the process.
“Yeah? You do? No, I’m not surprised. I just didn’t expect an answer so soon. It’s tonight—send three of yours and I’ll bring three of mine. We can work out the details of that later.”
I wiped down the counters, trying to do it as quietly as possible so I could hear his side of the phone conversation. I wondered what it was they were into—was it drugs or weapons?
“I’m glad you decided to come around. It’s a good arrangement.”
Maybe both.
This was good. I was focusing on the club’s activities and not on the fact that they’d adopted a puppy and nursed it back to health only to have him ripped from them.
I wondered what happened to the guys who helped him. Had they moved away and left him to take over the club? Did he still see them when he met up with the girl from the picture? Obviously, they meant something to him. I knew that just from the way he wrote about them.
“Neve.”
Neve?
Like some guy would ever write in his diary about me.
I wondered if men called them diaries—probably journals. It sounded manlier.
“Neve?”
Charm was standing in the doorway when I looked up and I ended up throwing the sponge in my hand at him before jumping back in fright.
He knew.
He probably dusted it for fingerprints while I was lost in thought and—no, that was ridiculous. He’d probably just read my mind. That seemed more plausible.
“Y-you scared me.” I clutched my chest and cowered in the corner.
His eyes narrowed. “You enjoy listening in on other people’s conversations?”
I shook my head. “No. I wasn’t. Just cleaning—see?” I grabbed the bleach spray as if to prove a point.
“I think it’s time for you to start dinner. You can finish tomorrow.”
I nodded and began gathering everything up. “I’ll um, I’ll just be downstairs.”
He stepped back to let me through. “You might wanna pick up the pace, Sweetheart. You’ll never get this place cleaned at the rate you’re going.”
He slammed the door shut behind me and I couldn’t resist turning around and giving it both middle fingers.
Asshole.
Charm
“Please don’t hurt me.”
That one sentence was all it took. I’d gone to bed convinced that I’d made the right decision, only to wake up in the middle of the night, feeling like the world’s biggest asshole.
So, I dragged her out of bed to watch the sunrise. By all rights, she should’ve been on her way to a bus station by now, but something happened. We’d just made it to the ledge when I realized that she thought I was going to kill her. She’d cowered as if expecting me to hit her. In that moment, it was no longer her in front of me.
It was Raegan.
When she hugged me, it had taken everything in me not to throw my arms around her and cry like a pussy. I would’ve given anything to have another moment like that, so I made a selfish decision. I wanted her to stay; if for nothing else other than the glimpses I got of the woman I loved. Maybe she was just another junkie and god knew those were a dime a dozen, but I suddenly felt like I’d been given a second chance. A way to set things right.
Something’s shifted
and while I can’t quite put my finger on it, I know that I never want her to feel that kind of fear again.
She’s defenseless.
I’ve told myself that repeatedly today, but I can’t help but think it’s the other way around.
The men went quiet as she placed a large bowl of spaghetti in the center of the long table. Several strands of hair slipped free from her hair tie, covering her face as she leaned down and scooped some out into a bowl. She walked over and placed it in front of me with a small smile.
My chest tightened. The resemblance was uncanny.
The hair.
The eyes.
I’d seen it this morning as we watched the sun rise.
I’d questioned my decision to take her out to the ledge right up until I watched her entire body shift into a state of peace as the light hit her face.
I obviously couldn’t ever do it again.
The hug had caught me off guard and with the similarities, I was liable to do something stupid. Like let her hold onto me until she was good and sober.
I glared at her until the smile faded and she disappeared back into the kitchen—as if the resemblance was something she had control over. The others praised the food before every head turned toward the head of the table, obviously awaiting my verdict.
I stabbed it with a fork, taking my time to chew and swallow. “It’s edible. Eat up. We’ve got church.”
Up until this afternoon, I’d believed that she was just another lost junkie, but I knew for a fact that she’d been listening in on my conversation with Blade, which only raised my suspicions.
What if she was running from another club?
It was strange. We hadn’t had the support of another club in years, but then she showed up and suddenly I had MCs reaching out to pledge their support. Blade’s MC had been heavy into running drugs, but had recently looked into expanding into weapons. Instead of declaring war against us for the territory, he’d suggested a partnership.
Through The Woods Page 7
