He nods, giving me a sad but understanding look. “Makes sense. How about this—I’ll hide the computer, and no looking at it until we get back from lunch. That gives her more time to respond.”
“That sounds good,” I agree. It’s going to suck waiting and not knowing, but I know there’s probably little chance she’s responded. The longer I wait to check, the better.
And there’s always the chance that she never responds.
Jace and I finish breakfast and clean up before getting ready for the day. I spend much longer than usual styling my hair and applying makeup. Most days I let my hair do its own thing and makeup is something I usually only wear for special occasions. I dress in a ripped pair of jeans and sweater with a pair of sneakers.
Jace sits on the couch, playing his guitar and humming softly under his breath.
“Working on something new?” I ask, grabbing a water bottle from the refrigerator.
He looks up from his journal where he was scribbling furiously. “Yeah.” He smiles crookedly. “Inspiration struck, and I wanted to see where it led.”
I pick up my camera and sit across from him in the chair. “Can I take your picture while you write?”
He shrugs. “Sure.”
“Confession—I normally hate portrait photography, but I love taking your picture.”
He waggles his brows. “I’m very photogenic, huh?”
“Something like that.” I snap a picture of him.
“Confession—I love that you love taking my picture.”
I crouch down in front of him and take another photo.
He grows quiet and returns to working on his song, ignoring my presence.
He sticks his tongue out slightly between his teeth as he thinks. I zoom in on his mouth and take another photo. He flicks his hair out of his eyes, and I get a close-up shot of his forehead and the pesky strand of hair. I’ve always been more fascinated by the little things than the bigger picture.
After a while he sets his guitar aside and picks up the book he’s been reading lately.
He leans back into the couch and starts to read, continuing to ignore my presence. I take a couple more pictures before settling beside him on the couch. I lean my head on his shoulder as he reads.
I’ve never been a big reader, and that was something that shocked me about Jace—that he always has a book to read.
“We better go,” I warn him, when I realize that time’s ticking away and we should’ve left ten minutes ago. We’ll be late to the restaurant—we’re usually the late ones of the group, so it’s probably not much of a shocker to everyone else.
Jace looks at the clock and reluctantly sets his book down. He grabs his coat and I do the same.
Outside it’s windy enough that long-fallen snow swirls through the air.
Jace and I head to his truck. My poor car only gets taken out when I go to class and to work if the weather is bad enough that I can’t walk.
The restaurant where we’re meeting is a nicer Italian restaurant on the other side of town, closer to where they live.
I turn the radio up and sing along as we ride. My singing voice is nowhere near as good as Jace’s but he doesn’t complain.
When we arrive at the restaurant the place is packed and it takes us a moment to find an empty space. It ends up being kind of far from the restaurant so I’ll probably turn into a popsicle before we get inside.
“Ready?” Jace asks me, shutting off the truck.
I nod, gathering my coat around me.
We make a dash for the building, hurrying to get out of the blistering cold wind.
Jace takes my hand and says to the hostesses, “Hey, we’re meeting the Montgomery party.”
She smiles. “Right this way—they’re all already here.”
“Of course they are,” I grumble.
Jace chuckles and squeezes my hand.
She leads us to a table that’s in its own separate room. I’m surprised to find that not only are all our friends there, but so is Cade and Thea’s mom, and Rae’s parents.”
Jace and I take the two empty seats across from each other—so I end up beside Thea and he’s beside Xander.
“What’s going on?” I ask Thea under my breath. “Why are the parents here?”
“I don’t know.” Thea dances in her seat. “I think I know, but I don’t know.”
I roll my eyes. “Because that’s not vague or anything.”
I pick up the menu and scan the items. I wasn’t feeling hungry, but suddenly I feel like I’m starving.
“What are you getting?” Jace asks.
“I don’t know.” I flip the pages of the menu. “Maybe lasagna, that’s always good.”
He nods. “Lasagna sounds good.”
The waiter comes and we all place our drink order. It’s a large group, so it feels like it takes forever for him to get that information.
I look at the menu for a few more minutes before deciding to just go with the lasagna since it’s the safest choice.
I set the menu aside and glance at Thea.
She looks dreamily at Xander while he peruses the menu so I bump her with my elbow.
“What?” She blinks at me. “What’d I do?”
“You’re making me sick,” I joke.
“Oh.” She blushes. “Sorry.”
“Nah, I think it’s cute that you love him so much.”
She smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “Sometimes it feels sort of surreal that we’re together.”
“I’m glad you guys finally saw what was right in front of you.”
She laughs. “I don’t know if getting married in Vegas was the right way to do it, but I don’t regret it.”
The waiter comes back with all our drinks and then takes our order.
“How have you been?” I ask Xander.
“Good,” he responds with a smile. “Glad to finally be home for a while.”
“Are you done for the season?” Jace asks.
“Yeah, our team is done for the year. I would’ve liked to make it farther, but we did good so I can’t complain. We’re going to do even better next year.”
“Hell yeah you are,” Cade chimes in, overhearing. “And we’re all going to be at every home game next year. Right, guys?” Cade eyes Jace and me.
I laugh. “We’ll do our best.”
Cade clears his throat and a hushed silence falls over the room. “Rae,” he prompts. “I’ve been wanting to ask you this for a while, but no time was ever right—I want you to know I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone.”
“Oh, my God,” Thea whispers under her breath. “I knew it.”
“Cade …” Rae starts.
He gets out of his seat and drops down on one knee in front of her, pulling out a small black box from his pocket. He pops it open, revealing the diamond engagement ring inside.
“We’ve been through more than two people should ever have to go through, but I’d go through it all again if I knew you’d always be waiting for me on the other side. Will you marry me?”
Rae stares at him, dumbfounded, but she manages to whisper, “Yes.” Then with more power she says, “Yes,” again.
She catapults out of the chair and into his arm and he laughs as the force rocks him.
“I love you,” she sobs. “Yes. A thousand times yes.” She kisses him and then he finally manages to get the ring on her finger. “Wow.” She gazes down at it. “That’s amazing.”
We all clap and congratulations are exchanged. Rae beams, but I can tell she’s still in shock. I know she wasn’t expecting it at all, because she would’ve told me if she suspected something.
Rae speaks to her mom, showing her the ring, and Cade stands back with the happiest smile on his face.
All of us are growing up and getting older and life is changing as we do. Last year at this time, Rae, Thea, and I had only known each other for a few months, and I’d only just been introduced to the others. It’s funny how short
a year can seem, but how much can change.
It makes me wonder what life might look like a year from now.
Something tells me it’s only going to be filled with more love.
Lunch takes two hours and afterward, Jace drives around for another hour. I know it’s nothing more than him stalling time but I don’t call him on it.
By the time we arrive back home I’m a jittery and shaking mess.
“I think I’m going to throw up,” I tell him honestly when he parks the truck. “I feel sick to my stomach.”
He takes my hand in his. “It’s going to be fine.” His eyes are earnest, urging me to trust him. I’m terrified of rejection. After four years of not knowing anything about my son, I finally have a name, a photo, and his adoptive parents’ names. It’s a lot to process, especially when I realize it could all be yanked out from under me in a minute. “I’m here,” Jace whispers, letting go of my hand to skim his fingers over my cheek. “I’m going to help you through this, okay?”
I nod, placing my hand on the truck door.
We head into the building and to the elevators.
The whole way up I feel like a clock is counting down.
Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
You might never see your son—it chants, taunting me.
The elevator doors open and Jace places his hand on my waist, guiding me to the apartment door. While he looks for his key I take a deep breath, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. My heart hasn’t beat this fast, ever. It can’t be healthy.
“What’s taking so long?” I hiss.
“It’s been like three seconds, chill.” He slides the key into the lock.
“Feels like forever,” I mumble, wrapping my arms around myself.
He opens the door and I follow him inside, drawn like a beacon to the laptop.
“Do you want me to look first?” he asks.
I wipe my hands on my jeans again. How is it possible for your hands to sweat so much?
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I’m scared.”
He grabs his computer and sits down on the couch with it in his lap. I sit beside him, my hands now shaking with nerves.
He lifts the lid and types in his password.
The Facebook browser is the first thing to pop up, still logged into my account, and I immediately see the red message flag.
My eyes flash to his and my heart beats impossibly faster. Dark spots begin to dance behind my eyes.
“Breathe,” Jace tells me. “You have to breathe.” He rubs his hand over my back.
“Confession—I’m scared.”
“It’s okay to be scared.” He kisses the side of my forehead. “But you can be brave too.”
I nod, open the message, and begin to read.
Wow. I can’t say I ever expected to hear from you, but I must say I’m glad you reached out. My husband and I were willing to do an open adoption but your parents made it clear that wasn’t an option. I’m sorry to hear that it wasn’t your choice. It’s made an already difficult thing, impossible for you, I’m sure.
I’m not sure how you found us, but I’ve always believed in fate, and something led you to us, of that I’m sure.
Greyson—our son, your son—knows he was adopted. We call you his Angel Mommy and Daddy who gifted us with their beautiful baby boy because they thought we could love and provide for him in a way they couldn’t.
I won’t lie, this won’t be easy for us, just as I’m sure it won’t be easy for you, but I think we can make it work.
We’d be happy to arrange for you to meet him.
You can message me back here and we can arrange a time and place to meet. I noticed you don’t live far from us, so it should be easy enough to meet up.
Sarah
A sob breaks free of my chest. “Oh, my God.” I tackle Jace and he moves the laptop out of the way so I don’t knock it to the floor. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him. “I’m going to get to meet my son.”
He presses kisses to my hair. “I’m so happy for you.”
“This is all thanks to you,” I tell him, kissing him on the lips.
He shakes his head and laughs. “It’s sort of thanks to my Dad.”
I smile, tears pooling in my eyes. “Yeah, I guess it is.” I sag against Jace, exhaustion overtaking my body now that I can relax. “I can’t believe this. I feel like I’m dreaming.”
“No dream,” he murmurs. “This is one-hundred percent real.”
“Wow,” I breathe. “I think I’m in shock.”
He chuckles. “That’s understandable.”
I rest my head on his shoulder.
For years, I hid from my past and Jace ran from his, and somehow, we ended up in the same place.
Life works in funny and mysterious ways.
At the time, you might not know why something is happening, but it all happens for a reason.
I climb off his lap and grab the laptop, typing back a response with a smile on my face the whole time.
Jace
“Are you going to answer that?” Nova calls from the bathroom.
I eye my phone on the couch beside me. The Imperial March theme song blares from it. I’m not one to assign songs to people’s numbers for when they call, but the song was too fitting for my father so I went with it.
“It’s my Dad, so no.”
She sighs and pokes her head out of the bathroom, her hair hanging down in a wet sheet.
“He’s called every day since New Year’s Eve,” she reminds me.
“I have nothing to say to him.” I turn the page on my kindle book, then realize I hadn’t finished reading the page I’d just flipped.
I can feel Nova glaring at me. “I don’t have the warm and fuzzies for the man, believe me, but don’t you think you should just talk to him? It must be something important if he keeps calling.”
“Trust me—all he wants is to continue our conversation from before, maybe wring me over the coals some more, that’s it. But if it’ll make you feel better I’ll call him back,” I finally relent.
“It would.”
I sigh and close the book.
My dad isn’t one to call and keep calling, so I know Nova’s right and something more must be up, but it’s one of those things I just don’t want to deal with. The man is constantly making my life unpleasant, so I’ve learned to avoid him.
I pick up the phone and call him back.
“Jacen?” he answers immediately.
“What do you want, Dad?” I figure it’s best to cut straight to the point. I lean forward, resting my elbows on my legs and pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Things got … heated on New Year’s Eve before we could have dinner, and there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Then talk to me now,” I grumble.
“No—we’re going to meet for lunch, tomorrow.”
I sigh. That’s always the way it is with my dad, him telling me to do something and me doing it, no questions asked.
“Okay,” I sigh. “Where?”
“How about that place you work?”
“W.T.F.?” I ask, surprised he’d suggest that.
“Yes—twelve o’ clock.”
“Okay,” I agree. “See you then.”
I hang up and Nova comes out of the bathroom. “How’d it go?” she asks.
“I have to have lunch with him,” I grumble, scrubbing my hands over my face.
“It won’t be so bad.” She frowns.
“I hope not,” I sigh. I rub my hands together and say, “I think I’m going to tell him that I’m done. I want him out of my life. He’s fucking toxic. I’m going to tell him I don’t want his money and he needs to leave me alone.”
She nods. “If that’s what you want to do—he gives you money?”
I nod. “Sort of. It’s a trust fund account.”
“Oh.” She nods. “I see.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. I’m sure things are starting to make a little more sense to her.
“Have you heard back from Sarah yet?” I ask.
“Not yet.” She eyes my computer. “It’s only been a day,” she pauses, and I can see the uncertainty in her eyes. I know she’s terrified Sarah will change her mind.
“Have you thought about contacting Owen?” I ask her. “Seeing if he wants to meet Greyson?”
She flinches. “I probably should, but … is it selfish for me to want to meet him first and then contact him?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “I think it’s understandable. Do you feel selfish for doing it?”
“I feel like it’s what I need to do. After I get to see him I’ll reach out to Owen then—after all, she might bail on me.”
“She’s not going to bail.” I lay the book I was reading aside and tug on Nova’s arm, pulling her down onto the couch with me. She lies down, stretching out with her head in my lap. I run my fingers through her damp hair. “We’ll take everything one step at a time.”
“It’s scary,” she admits. “Before, it was almost like he was a figment of my imagination. Now he’s real, and I’m so close to finally meeting him, but I’m terrified that someone is about to pull the rug out from under me and be like, ha-ha think again!”
“You have to trust that everything will be okay.” I wrap a strand of her hair around my finger.
She sighs. “I’m trying to.”
I grow quiet, I don’t know what else to say to her. I know the last month since she told me about her son has been hard on her emotionally. It’s understandable. She kept his existence a secret for years. That had to weigh heavily on her. And now, in a matter of weeks she’s gone from telling me, our friends, and now finding him. It’s a lot to process.
I hope for her sake that she gets to see him, and maybe even be a part of his life in some way.
She deserves that.
But for now, we’ll take it one step at a time.
Nova’s gone to work when I start getting ready to go meet my dad.
I wish she were here, because she’d talk to me and keep my mind off this lunch. My dad and I rarely spend time alone anymore—typically when he summons me it’s because I need to attend something and put on the show of being his son—I can’t even recall the last time we had lunch or dinner just the two of us.
Dark Hearts Page 27
