by Mia Carson
As I made my way up the stairs, Dora, the housekeeper, shuffled past me. When she looked at me, her eyes widened and she descended hurriedly without speaking. From her expression, it looked as if I was not supposed to be back, like she was afraid I might find out something.
When I opened the door to my bedroom, the reason for her behavior became clear.
Alisha sat at the dressing table, her skirt hitched up and her legs wrapped tightly around a man’s waist. Her eyes were closed and her lips parted in a moan. As I opened the door, her eyes popped open, she recognized me, and stared in shock. The man, who was completely naked and thrusting inside her with obvious enthusiasm, turned around.
My father.
No one moved. No one ended the quiet horror.
I was the first one to recover.
“Well, that makes it easy,” I said, addressing no one in particular as I turned around to leave. “We are done, Alisha. Goodbye, Dad.”
***
As I walked out of my room, a sudden wave of insanity gripped me, and picking up a small clock, I threw it hard at the wall. The clock shattered into tiny fragments, and I continued through the house and out the back door. I walked to the veranda where I could be alone with my thoughts.
I was angry at Alisha, angrier at my father. Both were out of my life for good. But my main concern was Tia. She was pregnant.
My mind began working furiously. Was she pregnant the last time we had slept together? If she was, it was so minor I had failed to notice it. So that meant she had to be only a few weeks in at that time for her to be showing now. But then I remembered the first time we slept together a few months back. I clearly remembered neither of us had used any protection, unless she had been on the pill, which didn’t seem likely. As realization struck, I plopped down on a bench.
Could it be that she was… that she was pregnant with my baby?
She had, after all, told me there was something she wanted to tell me when she had asked me to Ghyslain. And I hadn’t heard her say anything about someone else in her life. When she asked me to leave her alone, was it because she wanted some space for herself and not because there was someone else in her life? Was she carrying my baby and not telling me because she was afraid I would walk out on her?
I knew where I needed to go. In fifteen minutes, I was outside Tia’s apartment building. As I rang the intercom on her apartment, a girl who was definitely not Tia answered. “Who is it?”
I took a breath of relief. “It’s Neal Callaway. Is this Ella?”
“Yes.”
“Can I have a word with you, Ella? It’s about Tia.”
I remembered Tia speaking very highly of her friend, Ella, who was like a sister to her, during coffee in Ghyslain.
“Tia’s not home. But I’ll be down in a minute,” she replied.
When she came down, I remembered her as the girl with the cartoon character t-shirt from the first night I had picked Tia up to take her to the charity dinner at my parents’ house. It had only been a few months since that had happened, but it felt like ages ago.
We went to a bar close to Indiana East where, amid the noise and chaos of a soccer game on TV and mostly drunk college students, I told Ella everything that had happened between Tia and me so far.
When I had finished, her mouth was hanging open. “I need a drink,” she said finally, and I ordered an appletini for her and scotch on the rocks for myself. When she had drained her drink, she looked at me and said, “I knew something was going on that she was too upset to tell me about.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Tia usually talks to me about everything. When I set her up on that app, she resisted. You have to know, Tia is not the sort of girl who would ever do anything like that. But she was depressed… She was so depressed after her mom died. And I was desperate to change that.” She paused and ordered another drink from a passing waitress.
“She didn’t tell me about what happened when she came back from your parents’ charity dinner,” she continued once her drink had arrived. “She didn’t even tell me she went on a second—I’m sorry, first—date with you,” she said, her expression clouded.
“She told me to leave her alone,” I said quietly.
“Yes, of course. Like I said, Tia was depressed following her mother’s death. Not to mention that every man in her life so far has turned out to be a bastard. And I stupidly sent her on a weird, supposedly-platonic date with you…” She paused to take a breath. “If and when she felt something between the two of you, she must have been confused and scared.” She drained the rest of her drink.
“Yes, but what I need to know now,” I said, “is if there is someone else in her life?”
“Hang on a second,” she said, trying to focus on my face. “Aren’t you engaged?”
I scowled. “Not anymore.”
“Okay.” She shrugged. “Anyways, no. There is no one else in her life. Not that I am aware of. There definitely was no one in her life when she got pregnant. Except…you know,” she made a face, “you.”
“Thank you,” I said, clenching my jaw as a bubble of quiet relief burst inside me. “Thank you, Ella. You have been very helpful,” I said with a curt expression.
“Yeah? Well, what are you planning to do about it?” she asked, as if I were avoiding something terribly obvious.
“I’ll have to think carefully before doing anything,” I said, rubbing my temple. “Your friend is very challenging.”
She frowned. “If I remember correctly, aren’t you a notorious playboy?”
In spite of myself, I smiled briefly. “Thank you, Ella. I think it’s time I took you home.”
Once I had dropped Ella off at her home safely, I drove out of the city instead of going back to the house. Since I had met Tia, I had been in Richmond more often than I had been in the last few years. These days, I practically lived here. Yet it was the first time—since I had been there with her—that I was going back to my solitary escape, the stadium.
The summer night was much warmer than when I had been here with Tia in the spring. It was clear but not completely starry because the moon was full. I did not turn any lights on; instead, I walked to the center of the stadium to the exact spot where I had laid with Tia on that fateful night.
I pulled out an earring from my wallet. It had fallen to the ground the night Tia and I had made love on the field of the stadium. I had picked it up with the intention of returning it but had stuck it into my pocket. I had carried it with me since that night.
I lay down on the ground, and above me, the full moon shone in all its vibrancy. I looked at the little earring I held in my hand. The moon might be the brightest thing for miles, but for me, it was the object I held in my hand.
The thing about coming here, to this place, and lying on the ground under the sky, was that it gave me perspective. The times I had to spend in this town were usually some of the most turbulent times for me, emotionally. Some of the most uncomfortable realizations I had had in my life were in my early years while I still lived here with my parents. It came as no surprise that every time I was in this town, I was in a fouler mood than usual, a mood which simply could not be drowned in alcohol or women. They were the two things that at any other time I enjoyed very much, but when I was here, even they could not distract me. Coming out here in the open, lying down, and gazing at the sky was the only thing that calmed me.
But things had become topsy-turvy since I met Tia. Alcohol and women no longer distracted me. She sort of made me realize that the way I had been going about and doing things had been wrong. I had realized that the way I had seen things being done in my family was wrong. And most importantly, she had made me see that I’d had my priorities wrong my entire life.
With Tia, I discovered the significance of a human connection—of love and of companionship—for the first time in my life. And when she told me to leave her alone, I wanted and tried to replace her instantly. I had recently learned what was valuable in my life, and I wanted
to keep something. In my haste and impatience, I had made a mess of things. I not only landed myself in a terrible relationship, I had also not been able to make an effort for the one I loved. All the time I had been thinking of her and pining for her and trying to get closer to her, I had only been thinking of myself, my needs, and my feelings. I had failed to consider her even once.
Yet as I lay there, her earring clasped in my hand and the bright full moon shining high above me, bathing the land for miles in its silvery glow, I could see and think more clearly than I had been able to in months. I knew who I was supposed to be with. And I knew what I should have done from the beginning if I wanted to be with her. I also knew very well who I was not supposed to be with. The only thing I did not know was how to fix it.
I sighed as I remembered the way Tia had looked at me with fear and helplessness in her eyes before she had bared her baby bump. Her expression made me want to drop everything and hold her in a tight embrace. But like a fool, without asking or discussing anything, I had walked out, leaving her on her own. If anything, I needed to be with her, to have her back and support her. If I were honest, if I really did love her, I needed to be there for her regardless of whose child she was carrying.
As my mind went in circles, I grew restless. If I tried to walk into her life with no warning, she would balk. I needed to think carefully before doing anything. I needed to make sure I kept her person, her needs, and her fears in mind before deciding how to proceed, not just my own. I needed to be thoughtful.
After a couple of hours, I got up. When I looked around and saw everything in sight lit with a silvery glow, the only thing I was reminded of was the last time she had been here with me. She had worn white, and her presence had brightened up the night.
I sighed. Heavens, she was beautiful.
With my mind clear as a slate, I drove back to the city.
Tia
I spent thirty-six hours in bed following my encounter with Neal.
For the first day, Ella respected my need for space, but on Tuesday morning, she marched into my room, pulled me forcefully out of the bed and shoved me into the bathroom.
“Take a shower,” she yelled, closing the door behind me. “Put on the clothes I lay out on your bed when you’re done and come out of this room. I’m making breakfast.”
I stood in the bathroom in my dirty pajamas, scowling and muttering to myself the things I was too afraid to yell back at her. I took a shower.
Warm water did work wonders. Five minutes under the shower and I felt lighter. I decided to treat myself and filled the bathtub, then stayed in it for a half an hour. I was humming to myself when I walked out of the bathroom.
Ella had laid out a pink chiffon kaftan top with white capri pants. I had never laid eyes on them before and was pretty sure they weren’t mine. However, as I felt more relaxed after my bath, I didn’t fret over it and simply put them on. I looked in the mirror and decided that, for a maternity outfit, it was way too cute.
Ella’s head appeared in the door. “Breakfast is ready,” she announced.
She had made pancakes, which was a rarity. I was really hungry after my one-day hunger strike and ate like I had been starved for days.
“Come with me,” she said when we had finished eating, and taking my hand, she took me to her room.
She made me sit in front of her dressing table. She looked through various dressers and produced an array of cosmetics. She proceeded to apply them to my face. To be honest, I was scared but didn’t want to say anything—Ella had done my makeup more than once, and I was pretty sure I would look like a cross between a middle-aged hooker and one of those movie stars who go insane in their later years. However, when I looked at myself in the mirror after she had finished, I saw a face with a light blush on cream skin, lightly shadowed eyes with a thin line of eyeliner, and baby pink lips. She French-braided my hair on one side, and when she was done, the effect was quite cute.
“Ella, what is going on?”
“You have a date tonight.” I opened my mouth to protest. “You can’t say no. Sorry. You’ll be at Ghyslain at nine. Or our friendship is over.”
I tilted my head at her. “Really?”
“Okay, not really, but you’re going. And don’t ask any questions. Just do it for me.”
“Okay, I guess,” I said too tired to wonder what she was up to. I knew Ella wanted the best for me, so I would oblige her. I also had an idea of who she was setting me up with and for some reason, though I should be mad at Neal, I really wanted to see him.
*****
At five to nine, I was in front of Ghyslain. My heart thudded in my chest. I had not seen Neal since I told him about the pregnancy, and while I yearned with every fiber of my being to get out of the car and sprint into his arms, another, more insecure part of me was causing hyperventilation. I looked at my reflection; I was sweating.
“Calm down, Tia,” I told myself. I took a deep breath and felt slightly better, so I took another and counted until I was at two hundred. I looked at myself in the mirror again. I was no longer sweating. If I waited any longer, I was going to sit here in my car the entire night. At some point, I had to get out.
As I left the car, I noticed that there were only a few cars parked outside the restaurant and the lights inside looked much dimmer than they would normally be at this time of the night. I spotted Neal’s car among the ones parked out front, and all of a sudden, my nerves calmed down.
He was here. He was here, inside the restaurant right now, waiting for me as I had suspected. All of my fears seemed stupid now. I quickened my pace, and as I opened the doors, I gasped and took a step back.
The inside of the restaurant looked nothing like I remembered. The entire place had been stripped clear of furniture, and the only lights in the room shone on a walk from the door to the center of the room. The strip of floor, glowing in the muted light, was carpeted with red and white rose petals. Did he rent the entire restaurant out to see me again?
In the center of the room, bathed in soft golden light, Neal stood waiting for me. He wore a charcoal black pantsuit with his hair swept back, and he looked more handsome than I remembered. As I walked up to him, treading softly on the rose petals, he stretched out his hand towards me. I took it as I reached him. His eyes crinkled, and he looked at me with a most tender expression.
“It’s a good thing you came,” he said. “I was worried you wouldn’t show up.”
“Neal,” I said softly, leaning into him and breathing in the scent of him. I felt calmer and happier than I had in a while.
“Tia.” He spoke tenderly, his lips brushing against my hair. I turned my face up and kissed him.
Every fear, every single doubt I had felt in the last month and before that, disappeared as soon as our lips met. We were perfect together. Right here, in this moment, I could see it clearer than ever that we were meant to be together. There simply was no other way.
Neal handed me a rectangular box. “This is for you,” he said.
Tears sprang into my eyes and rolled down my cheeks before I could do anything to stop them. I opened the box. Hardly able to believe it, I touched the chain and picked it up in my hands. It was exactly like the one my mother had given me, but newer and shinier.
“How did you...?” I could not finish my question.
“When we met the first time, I noticed your fingers often reached for something that wasn’t there.” He paused to wipe a tear rolling down my cheek with his finger. “I knew there had to be some reason. That, and of course, Ella helped.”
He took the chain from my hands and put it around my neck, clasping the hook at the back. I touched the skin around the hollow of my throat, and the familiar cold metal made me shiver with happiness.
“Thank you so much,” I said, tears of bliss still rolling down from my eyes.
Then, he dropped to one knee, and I gasped. “Tia,” he said, producing another small, velvet-covered box from his pocket and opening it quickly. Inside was the mos
t beautiful diamond ring I had ever seen. I struggled to find a way to make myself believe I wasn’t dreaming.
“I love you, Tia,” he continued. “I have loved you since the moment I set eyes on you. I knew everything was going to change for me from that moment. And I was right.” He paused to take a breath, and I noticed that his eyes were beginning to swim with tears. “I didn’t know the meaning of the word love before I met you. I love you like I have never loved before and will never do again. So Tia, will you make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me?”
My eyes were brimming with tears and my body was frozen with shock.
“Will you?” he asked again.
“What about the baby?” I asked.
“Tia, I don’t care whose baby it is as long as I have you. Your baby is mine regardless of the father.”
I stood there in silence, my mind racing in a billion ways.
“So, what do you say?” he asked, grinning. “My knees are beginning to hurt.”
“Your fiancée?”
“That’s history. She never compared to you.”
“It’s yours, Neal. The baby is yours.” I whispered.
“Yes!” Neal screamed and hugged me. “I guessed that already and you don’t know how excited I am.”
“So you’re no longer engaged,” I said, the voice of reasoning setting in. All I wanted was to say yes to this man and take off with him, but he belonged to someone else.
“Not anymore. Tia, you made me realize what true love is. I want you. I need you, Tia. So would you please be my wife? Be the mother of my children?”
As I nodded frantically, tears streaming, I realized that on some level, I had always known that Neal would be mine.
Neal put the ring on my finger and stood to kiss me, and the entire room suddenly erupted with cheers and bright lights.
I looked around, giddy, and the first person I saw was Ella. She was there, cheering and crying at the same time, and next to her, Guy stood clapping. Colleen, my friend from New York, was there, as well as Gem and Derrick Swanson.
