“I’m really sorry that they treated you like that.”
“Well, they weren’t horrible parents. I don’t want to give you that impression. I just don’t really understand why they acted so differently to my dream than they did to Lila’s.”
“That’s the thing about parents. We grow up, and we hold all of these grudges against them. But the reason we do that is that we expect them to know what they’re doing. But the plain fact is that they don’t.”
“You don’t think parents know what they’re doing?” I ask, with a smile.
“No. Of course, not.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because before they become parents. They’re just people. I don’t want to say that all parents try their best, because that’s not true. But almost all of them are simply lost. They’re going through life just like the rest of us, without a clue as to what’s really going on.”
“I guess that’s a good way of thinking about it,” I say. “Do you ever want to be a parent?”
“I don’t know. You?”
“I don’t know either. Most women my age are dreaming of having kids, but I’m not there. And honestly, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be.”
“I sort of feel the same.”
I take a sip of my tea, and run the gist of the conversation back in my head. Did we really just talk about being parents? Wow. Yes, we did.
“Well, I guess I should get home,” I say finishing the rest of my tea. “It’s getting late. And I’m sure you want me out of your hair. I’ll just call a cab.”
“Oh no, you don’t have to.”
“Oh, I can’t ask you to drive me home. Seriously, it’s not a big deal.”
I pick up my phone and start to search for a cab company to call. Finn puts his hand on my hand.
“Chloe,” he says quietly. The tone of his voice sends shivers down my back. I look up at him.
“What if I asked you to stay? Would you stay?”
I shrug.
“I don’t know,” I say slowly.
“Okay, I shouldn’t have made it a hypothetical question. Chloe, I want you to stay. Will you stay?”
I hesitate. I want to. Of course, I do. But I don’t know if staying means sex. I don’t know if I’m ready for that. Right now. I was before the incident, but now, everything’s different.
But Finn clears up all of my apprehensions. “No pressure about anything. I can even sleep on the couch if you want.”
“Why do you want me to stay?” I ask.
“Because I like you.”
Chapter 18 - Finn
I wanted to fuck Chloe the first time I saw her. Even as I was yelling at her for spilling orange juice all over me. She isn’t my type, of course. Not at all. A little too short, and not as thin as the usual girls that I date. Not at all like Ariel. Not at all like any of the Victoria Secret models who I’ve dated. And yet, every second that I spend with her, I want her even more. I watch her climb into my bed, with the faintest hope that something might still happen tonight. She’s wearing my sweats, and it takes all of my willpower not to go over there and try to peel them off her. But the mood is different now. We’re no longer making out on my kitchen floor. She just threw up all over my kitchen, and she needs rest.
“You don’t have to sleep on the couch,” she says as I grab a pillow from the bed. The couch is across from the bed, against the far left wall of my bedroom. I don’t need much convincing. I jump into bed.
“Wow, that was fast.”
“Hey, that couch isn’t as comfortable as it looks.”
“It doesn’t look that comfortable,” Chloe says.
I dim the lights. Chloe closes her eyes almost immediately. I look at her beautiful face and the way her hair cascades down my pillow. This has definitely been an unusual night. The only real regret I have is that I didn’t tell the truth. I should’ve just come out and said that I was her date. Not pretended to be some white knight sweeping in and saving her from being stood up. No, I’m an asshole for doing that. The only thing to do now is to just hope that she never finds out.
* * *
The following morning, Chloe is already up when I wake up. I wander into the kitchen, where she’s sitting at the kitchen table, with the phone up to her ear. I wander over to the tea pot and fire it up.
“Coffee?” I ask.
She nods, absentmindedly.
“Listen, I don’t know what I can tell you, but he didn’t show up,” Chloe says into the phone. My heart sinks. She’s talking to Dolly.
“I know that you didn’t mean for any of this to happen. It’s totally fine. I actually had a good time,” Chloe says.
I grab a tea bag and dunk it in my tea. Once the coffee is ready, I pour a cup for Chloe.
“I met a friend from work there, and we had a good time,” Chloe says.
I smile. Though being referred to as a friend from work isn’t awesome. I’m glad that she had a good time.
“I know. I understand. It’s totally fine. Really…No, I don’t think I want to be set up again anytime soon.”
Does she not want to be set up again because she likes me? Or because she was so disappointed over the fact that Dolly’s guy didn’t come through?
Shit. This is not good.
“Okay, fine. I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
Chloe hangs up the phone. She takes a deep breath before smiling at me.
“Who was that?” I ask, handing her a cup of coffee.
“Dolly Monroe. The billionaire matchmaker.”
“Oh, is that the woman who set you up on your date?”
Chloe nods, hanging her head.
“Last night was just such a clusterfuck. A major clusterfuck.”
“Oh, it wasn’t so bad, was it?” I ask.
She smiles. “You don’t think that me throwing up all over your gorgeous kitchen makes the date go a little off the rails?”
You would think so, I say to myself. But not really. This has actually been one of the most interesting dates that I’ve ever had. I just wish that she knew that she had never been stood up and that the person whom she was set up with was the one she’s had an awesome time with.
“Eh, you kept it interesting, at least,” I finally say.
“Well, it’s the least that I could do.”
“I don’t know. I think it went okay in general. I mean, you got stood up and, if that didn’t happen, we wouldn’t have ever had our date.”
Why am I saying this? Why not just come out with the truth right now? Because I’m a coward, that’s why.
“Yes, I guess so.”
“I say that it’s his loss.”
“You think so?” Chloe asks.
“Yes, absolutely. And actually, there was something I wanted to ask you.”
She looks up at me with her innocent eyes. From this angle, they are almost as big and wide as a Disney character’s eyes. And just as earnest.
“Will you go out with me again?”
“What do you mean?” she asks, with a surprise look on her face.
“I had a really good time last night. Despite everything. And I’d like to take you out on a proper date.”
She nods.
“Yes,” she says, coughing in the middle of the word.
“Yes?” I double check. She nods and flashes a smile. Good. That’s good.
* * *
Chloe leaves my place around 11 a.m. As soon as she gets into the cab, I start to wonder how long I should wait to call her or, at the very least, text her. I end up doing neither, but that requires a lot of concentrated will power and distractions. After doing some yoga on the porch, and flipping aimlessly through the channels, I drive out to Malibu and go surfing.
It’s rather windy, and the waves are strong. I paddle out into the blue and hop onto my surfboard. There’s something about surfing that always puts me at ease. It requires me to use my whole body, letting my mind rest up a bit. When things with Ariel were first going down, I didn’t go sur
fing and suffered more as a result. After close to two hours in the water, I ride a wave all the way to the edge of the sand and hop off my surf board. Surfing did not quench my desire for Chloe, but it did make up my mind about something. I’m going to move to Malibu. This is something I’ve been thinking about for quite some time. Ever since I bought my house in the Hollywood Hills. As much as I love the views of the city, the peace of the ocean is hard to beat.
I arrive at work the following Monday excited to see Chloe again. It has been less than 24 hours since I’ve been with her, and I’ve never wanted to see a girl so badly before.
Unfortunately, today is not just a regular day. Today is the day that we’re shooting a very explicit sex scene.
Martha meets with me and Tara before we go to wardrobe. Everyone is milling around – setting up the lights, making sure that the furniture is arranged just right. My eyes wander over to Chloe, who’s standing in front of her trailer organizing outfits onto hangers. I nod hello in her direction and she smiles back.
“Finn? Are you listening?” Martha asks.
“Yes, of course,” I say even though I have no idea what she had just said.
“So, my point for the scene is to make it as erotic as possible to the rated-R rating, but instead of simply creating a romantic ambience and sweeping the viewer off their feet, so to speak, I want to make this scene as realistic as possible. In other words, Finn, I would like you to get naked. Entirely.”
“Oh, okay,” I’m caught a little bit by surprise.
“When we talked to your agent earlier, he said that it wouldn’t be a problem.”
“No, it’s not,” I shrug. “But you can’t shoot an erection and get an R-rating.”
“Yes, I know that. So we’ll shoot around it somehow. I still want to get your butt in it and maybe even you fully nude, but without an erection.”
I take a deep sigh. That’s not as hard to achieve as one might think, even though Tara is so hot. The thing is that sex scenes are shot in front of more than a hundred people. They’re all staring, looking, or working. That’s why so many actors find it embarrassing. I have too, in the past. But today, I’m more concerned about how it will go, since Chloe will be watching.
“Just tell me what to do, and I’m game,” I say.
“Me too,” Tara smiles at me. After Martha leaves, Tara approaches me. I like her long legs and her curious eyes.
“I can’t believe that this is the first scene we’re shooting together,” she says in a sultry voice.
“I know, right? Is there anything I can do to make you feel a little bit more comfortable?”
“Well, dinner might be a good idea. But it’s probably a little too late for that.”
I smile. She’s flirting. She’s just my type. I look her up and down. If I play my cards right, I can have her back in my trailer and totally naked within an hour. But then, Chloe catches my eye.
“Yeah, probably. Hey, listen, I have to go get my costume in order. I’ll see you later. Don’t worry. You’ll be great,” I say and walk away.
I can’t believe that I just did that. Walking away from a sure thing is not typically my modus operandi. But here I am walking toward Chloe, a girl who spilled orange juice on me, threw up all over my kitchen floor, slept over at my house and is yet to sleep with me. And yet, she’s the only one I want.
“Hey,” I walk over to Chloe and give her a brief hug. She pulls away from me.
“Hey. What are you doing?” she asks.
“Just thought that I’d give you a hug. What’s wrong with that?”
“Finn, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want anyone on set to know about us,” she says. I hate how standoffish she’s acting.
“I don’t understand. Why?”
“Because nothing really happened last night. And I don’t want people to think that anything did.”
“Wait…are you embarrassed to be seen with me?” I ask. Is this really happening? Most women would die to be photographed with me.
“No, not at all,” she says casting her eyes down. I take a step toward her and lift her head up to mine.
“What are you doing?” Chloe pushes me away. “What did I just say?”
“If you’re not embarrassed, then what’s going on?” I ask.
“Nothing. I just don’t know where this is going.”
“Well, we have another date together,” I say with a smile. “And, after Saturday night, we seem to have a little bit of a history.”
“Oh my God, don’t mention it,” she says, blushing. “Finn, I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you. Not at all. I just don’t want all the rumors to start flying about us. You know they will if people see us kissing and hugging and doing stuff like that.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” I ask.
“This is why you’re always in the magazines, Finn. You act like you hate the paparazzi always following you, but then you refuse to keep your private life private.”
“Yes, I do refuse to do that. I don’t see why I should,” I say. Now, I’m getting insulted. Angry.
“Well, I guess I just don’t want to be just one of those girls that people see on your arm in those celeb mags.”
“Oh, don’t worry, you won’t be,” I say and walk away.
This did not go very well. Frankly, I don’t really know what’s wrong or where it went off the rails. All I did was walk over there to give her a hug. I wasn’t making a spectacle. I wasn’t announcing that we were sleeping together or even dating. Everyone in LA gives hugs. What’s the big deal? Feeling very much conflicted, I walk back over to her.
“I still need to get my clothes for today’s scene,” I say. She nods and takes out a light linen suit and light brown Kenneth Cole shoes.
“I was thinking no socks.”
“Perfect,” I say. “What about underwear?”
“Oh yes, of course. How about black Calvin Klein boxer-briefs?” she asks.
“Fine,” I say.
“Do you want to try any of that on?” she asks as I start to walk away. For a brief second my eyes meet hers.
“No. Not now,” I say. I see the disappointment on her face, and it makes me happy. Who does she think she is, acting like that? And yet, within a few seconds, my so-called happiness fades. I feel like a dick, but my pride doesn’t let me go back.
* * *
“So, I want to go over a few things again before we start,” Martha says. Tara and I sit down on the bed.
“I want you both to start out standing. Finn, you walk over, stand close to her and say your line. She responds. Then you kiss her, and you fall into bed. I want you to remove each other’s clothes.”
“In any particular way? Or order?” Tara asks.
“Um, actually, no. Just do whatever feels natural. Okay. I guess that’s all. Let’s just start, and we’ll see how it goes.”
Everyone disappears off the set. I adjust my tie and position myself in the doorway. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Chloe. She’s here, watching along with everyone else. I turn my attention to Tara. It’s as if my mind switches off. And now, I’m fully immersed in the scene. Nothing else is real except for Tara and me.
“Action,” Martha yells. The room falls silent.
I walk over to Tara. Carefully, deliberately.
“What do you want from me?” I ask her.
“Nothing,” Tara says. Before she finishes the word, I plunge in and kiss her. We fall onto the bed together and start taking off each other clothes. First, she removes my tie. I pull off her blouse. As she unbuttons my shirt, I tug at her skirt. I wriggle out of my pants as we continue to kiss. I wait for Martha to yell ‘Cut,’ but it doesn’t come. Instead, I unclasp Tara’s bra. Her breasts fall in front of me, as if on a platter. She runs her fingers down my stomach, pausing briefly over each six pack, which I don’t forget to flex for the cameras. Now comes the difficult part. I stand up. Tara kisses my belly button, and with one swift motion, she pulls down my boxer-briefs. I step out
of them calmly, then flip her over on her stomach and pull off her panties.
Still no ‘cut’ comes. I don’t want to interrupt the scene, so I fall on top of her and kiss the back of her neck. And then her back. My dick grows hard. It doesn’t know how I really feel. That it’s not Tara who I actually want to do this to. I rub my fingers up and down her back and bury them in her hair. When I pull on her hair slightly, she moans. We grind for a few moments. And then…finally…it comes.
“Cut!” Martha yells. I stand up right away and put on the robe, which an assistant runs over with. My erection is not something I can hide. I don’t want to be quick about putting it away. Everyone is watching, and I don’t want to act as if I’m embarrassed about anything. Instead, I coolly put on my robe and tie it loosely around my waist.
“Oh. My. God,” Martha explodes. “You guys, that was amazing!”
I love Martha’s exuberance. She doesn’t have any pretense the way that so many directors do. She’s shooting one of the most serious scripts I’ve ever had the privilege of working on, and yet she comes off like an excited sorority girl. Her level of excitement is contagious.
“I wasn’t sure if that was quite the direction you wanted me to go in,” I start to say.
“Oh no, no, no. I never would’ve even thought of that. The way you flipped her over like that and removed her panties. That just made me lose my breath. Honestly, amazing work.”
Tara and I exchange smiles. That’s always nice to hear.
“Now, if you don’t mind, could you do that again? Same sequence? I just want to make sure we get the best version.”
I nod. Right before she says “action” again, my eyes dart to Chloe. The expression on her face is a mix between lost, confused and angry. I don’t know why she would be feeling any of those things, except that this scene is just too real for her. But there’s nothing I can do about it right now.
Chapter 19 - Chloe
Auctioned to Him_The Contract Page 72
