“You know who I am.”
“No I know who you were. I don’t know this new Harley. She’s not the same little kitten that left us ten years ago.” I so desperately wanted to tell him, his voice begged for an answer, the answer.
The only one I couldn’t give.
Not yet, I was still too scared. So I settled on a vague truth, as had been my motto the last day. “I told you I’ve been taking martial arts, I also took self-defense classes, I mean look at me I’m tiny and a victim in waiting. I took control and taught myself to protect myself, since I no longer had you two to do it.” I held the tears back but he must have heard them or felt my body shake, either way he pulled me into his arms and held me close.
“Shh, Harley, well the good news is that we are back and if you will allow us we can see how it goes. Hold on.” He rolled away from me and let the cold in but when he rolled back he was closer. I wasn’t sure if I moved closer or if he did but I rejoiced in the almost full body contact but the clothing between us was going to have to go. “Here we got this for you and before you ask, yes he knows I’m giving this to you now.”
He placed a chain with a charm into my hands. In all of my training I was never taught to see in the dark. “Light,” He rolled back over and flipped the switch for the lamp and in my hand a beautiful slim braided silver chain and a little pewter daisy with a diamond on one of the petals. “Oh Carson it’s beautiful!” I loved it instantly. I sat up and spun around and moved my braid out of the way so Carson could fasten it.
“I was hoping you’d like it.” He placed his hands on my shoulders and kissed my neck. I shivered and like it usually is around these two my switch was flipped and I was ready for more. He kissed my neck again and I moaned and leaned my head to opposite direction to allow him more access to my neck. He took it one step further. “Arms up.” His voice was rough in my ear and kick started my pulse to racing speed.
I raised my hands just as the shirt was ripped up and off. “Don’t damage the shirt, it’s my favorite.” His laughter was silent and quick, I didn’t mind as we both had other things to focus on. I turned to face him his clear blue eyes were hooded and turning a stormy blue. I was sucked into them and him. I swayed closer and then finally I had my skin on skin contact.
“You are such the kitten are you?” I looked at him and he smiled at me pulling me deeper into his eyes. I also must have had a confused look on my face because he ran his hand over my head and down my braid and said. “You just mewed, my little kitten.” Of course for him my trigger for my sexual appetite would be their nickname for me. I pounced and had him on his back in a blink of an eye. “But you are not the same kitten that left us ten years ago are you?”
“Is that a bad thing?” He put an arm behind head and smirked. I leaned down and flicked his nipple with my tongue.
His chest tried to squeeze into the bed and he laughed. “No, but I’m ticklish there.”
“Where? Here?” and I flicked the other nipple with my tongue.
He chuckled and flipped me over. He loomed over me his body pressing me into the mattress.
I wanted more.
I put my arms under his and touched his back. I felt the muscles flex and the dance was erotic to the letter. “I told you I was ticklish there.”
“Mmm, so you did.” I licked my lips. “Are you going to kiss me or what?”
“I plan on kissing you and more.”
Boy did he.
I wasn’t sure there was a part of my body untouched by his lips. My own lips felt swollen and I was pretty sure I had chafing on my neck from his stubble. I was curled in the fetal position where the last orgasm left me. Carson was curled around my back with his arms wrapped around me. “I love hearing my name ripped from your throat like that.”
“I’m glad you like it, because that last one I think took a good portion of my voice with it.” My voice was still rough and raw.
“I have every intention of making you scream again in a little bit.”
“Oh please let me get a drink of water first.” I cleared my throat. “Ow!” his chest shook against my back. “Are you laughing at me?”
“No of course not Harley, I’d never laugh at you.” His voice was light and his chest shook again.
“You are laughing at me.” His arms tighten around me and he burst out laughing. So I did what any red blooded assassin – and woman – would do I flipped over and kissed the laughter out of him.
By the time I pulled back from the kiss I was straddling his chest and had his arms pinned next to his side with my thighs and my feet tucked under his lower back. I sat up and looked down at him. “So are you going to continue to laugh at me?”
I watched the thoughts roll across his face, I felt his muscles constrict as he attempted to free himself from me. Then I watched his eyes widen then narrow as he took in his situation. All of this happened within a moment from the time I sat up on his chest to his realization took less than ten seconds. “Alright Harley, what are you not telling us?”
That statement was enough for me to lose concentration and for him to pull an arm out. His used that arm to then pull me off to the side and then he had the upper hand and I was again pinned beneath him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Dammit Harley, you better start talking.” I bucked and he pressed my hips to the bed with his and pulled my arms above my head. “Besides the new looks and air of confidence there is something else about you that I haven’t worked out but god dammit I will.”
“I wish you wouldn’t, you may not like what you figure out.” I turned my head and looked at the headboard. “What if what you found out puts you in danger? What if you can’t accept what you find out?”
“Woman quit talking in fucking riddles and just tell me the truth.”
“I can’t…” It came out as a whisper but he heard it nonetheless.
“Why, Harley, why can’t you tell me?”
I looked back into his eyes. “Tell me Carson, would you rather shoot someone who broke into your house or wait for the police?”
“Well I guess that depends…”
“No, no situations, no what-ifs, shoot or wait for the cops?”
“Shoot.” He said seriously and honestly. I watched his eyes for any indication that he would back track or add an exception but he stuck to his answer.
“And Kyle?”
“What does this have to do with anything?”
“Just answer the question!” I felt the tears dripping into my ears and the burn in my throat.
“I don’t know.” He stood up releasing my hands and I sucked in a breath with the pain that comes from the blood returning to original flow patterns. “Dammit I hurt you!” he bellowed and turned on the light.
He took my wrist in his hands and frowned as the bruises formed. “I just bruise easily is all, look?” I held my hands out and rotated I had finger marks on the tops of my thighs and the bottom side, I also had a set of hand prints on my hips and an arm mark across my back I turned back to face him and watched as his eyes cringed as the marks from our own love making started to darken. He took a step back. “Oh, please don’t.” I quickly covered as much of my body as I could with my arms.
But it was too late.
“Kyle! I know you’re awake get in here now!” Carson bellowed. The door opened and a bedraggle Kyle stood there looking extremely yummy. I licked my lips as I looked back and forth between the two of them. “Don’t even think about it Harley!” Carson roared I snapped my eyes to his and his bore into my soul, stripping me of any defense. “Did you know about this?” He motioned to my body and Kyle’s eyes followed his direction then widened.
“Christ kitten, why didn’t you say something.”
“Like what?”
“Like we were hurting you!” Carson bellowed again.
My dander rose and I exploded. “Because you weren’t that’s why!! I loved getting every single one of these bruises. Each and every one of them tells me tha
t you were so blinded by lust for me that it became animalistic at best!” I turned around and heard Kyle suck in a breath and Carson groan, “well except the one right there,” and I reached behind me and pointed to one on my shoulder blade, “that one was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention.” The ones from fighting this afternoon were in comparison horrible as they were already a lovely purple color the others weren’t anywhere as deep.
I had to change their thoughts so I very slowly climbed back onto the bed and when I was in the middle of it on my hands and knees I looked back to the guys. “So who would like to leave another bruise?” Not sexy but the proof of my need and theirs marked my body in a way that made me feel desired in a way I have never felt and I wanted more.
Kyle caught onto the meaning of my statement before Carson and climbed up onto the bed behind me and caressed my ass. I felt the pleasurable pain of each bruise he touched. I arched into his hand as he ran it across the print that was the exact size of his arm across my back. “This does not excuse you from not saying anything kitten. We can be careful with you.” he whispered into my ear.
“I, don’t, want, gentle…” I spun on him and pinned him to the bed, “If I wanted gentle I would have said so. I don’t need kiddie gloves; I want hard, uncontrolled lust!” I bit his nipple slightly and his hips bucked up. I about flew out of my skin when a second pair of hands pressed into the bruises on my thighs.
But then my body betrayed my true desire with not only a long moan but as Carson so eloquently pointed out. “Christ kitten, you are insatiable. You seem to be leaking.” He slid a finger through the fluids and then into me initiating the first scream of the night. After that it was nothing but hands tangling, their bodies making me a very sexy Harley sandwich. I felt used, bruised and very sedated.
It was after midnight when I was finally allowed to go to sleep. One deep content sigh later and I was out.
As I lay in bed listening to the snores of the men on either side of me I was thinking to myself: I am knee deep in Belladonna here. One, one is the socially acceptable partner isn’t it? Why do I get two? Do I have to choose? Who would I choose? I rolled to my left and there lay Kyle, his light brown eyelashes resting on his lower lids, his bow shaped lips curled into a slight smile, his wavy hair in an unruly natural state.
Could I choose him over Carson? Kyle would love me fully and deeply, he would laugh with me and be there when I need someone to be there. He would bend and flow with my moods (or at least I hope he would).
I rolled back the other way and looked at Carson. His body so obviously between me and the door, he is the protector. He would always put my safety first and he’s so strong and just looked like someone one wouldn’t mess with. I wouldn’t think he would bend me to his will and if he tried it would cause endless fights.
He would be there always as a rock, a pillar, a mighty oak tree. I looked at the thick lashes that cast a shadow upon his lower lids and though his upper lip was thin. His bottom lip was full and pouted so cutely in his sleep. The dark stubble created the perfect example of a ‘Five O’clock Shadow’ and I wanted to rub my hand against it but I wouldn’t dare. I didn’t want to wake him.
Finally was the white elephant: my career. I loved what I did, I loved the freedom and rush. I may seem sick to some people, but dropping the poison into someone’s drink, or thrusting the knife in between their ribs into their lungs was freeing.
I closed my eyes and for the first time wondered what the hell was wrong with me. I knew I was screwy, but was I so bad that the thought of killing for money was alright for me? I wasn’t going to apologize for my line of work – I was good at it, but did I want to continue on this path with these two waiting there to hold me and to love me?
I slipped out the end of the bed and was about in the bathroom when I heard. “Get back to bed Harley. Now!”
“Um, let me just get in the shower ‘k?”
“No there will be plenty of time for that in a bit. The Archery class doesn’t begin until ten.” I walked back toward the bed and looked at Carson. He still looked to be sleeping. Did I imagine that entire conversation? No, I couldn’t have. I shook my head and turned to go into the shower when I was grabbed from behind. I screamed as I was lifted off the floor and rolled back into the middle of the bed with Carson’s massive hand holding me down and a moment later Kyle’s arm wrapped itself under my breasts.
“Don’t you know it’s not good etiquette to leave the party early?” Kyle said on a yawn.
“It’s not early. The day has begun and I wanted a shower.”
“Cars, what time is it?” Kyle asked
“In the vicinity of five thirty.”
“Christ kitten you get up early.”
“Look I’ve been up for a good half hour I had just decided to get out of bed when Carson so rudely dropped his demand.”
“It wasn’t a demand…it was a really strong request.” Carson said into my ear. Releasing a thousand tiny butterflies down my ear canal and along my spine until they all settled in my stomach.
“Well fine whatever, now why did you call me back to bed.” No one answered me, but Carson did release me though to pull the covers over me. I giggled as he tucked them under my chin and then his hand retook its position across my stomach then before I thought possible I was accompanied by light snores in both ears. “Oh you have to be joking.” Both of their mouths lifted in half grins and then settled back into a relaxed state.
So now here I was in bed with two gorgeous men, who obviously want me right where I am and I wanted to get out…what the hell was wrong me? So I snuggled down and closed my eyes and just enjoyed the warmth and security these two bodies provided me.
It was true they made me feel extremely safe, which is something I’ve not had for ten years. I don’t know if it’s because of our past or because they excluded an alpha male quality that makes me relax into a pile of womanly goo, but I sort of like it.
My mind of course drifted back to the only other man who came anywhere close to making me feel secure, though, even at his best I couldn’t relax fully around Marcus. Two years I wasted with that man. Two years I’ll never get back and a scar that will never go away.
‘Listen to me you little bitch. You have strung me along for two years and when I want to make it official you cast me aside like a piece of trash or worse like a mark. Is that what I’ve been to you, a mark?’ his voice was cool venom.
‘Now Marcus you’re ridiculous. You know that I care for you.’
‘Care – CARE FOR ME?!?! YOU LOVED ME THREE DAYS AGO!!” he was pissed now, the heat and hatred rolled off of him. I sat back in the chair he had thrown me and looked at him. Dark hair, black eyes, his skin a warm copper color, best of all his height, he stood five nine and weighed in at a hundred eighty. He was hired with the company three years ago just out of the military. His confidential report stated that his ability to decide between right and wrong was off kilter but his compulsion for order was borderline Obsessive. My father loved him on sight. Me, I took another year to trust him enough to let him near me. His chin was strong his, nose had a slight bump to it where he says he broke it as a child. All in all he was a beautiful specimen of man.
But right now he was so full of anger it made him ugly and all of that anger was directed at me.
“Marcus you are right, I do love you.” I stood and walked toward him. “You have given me your love and what have I done, I have thrown it right back in your face.” He nodded. “That was not fair of me and for that I’m truly sorry, but what you have done today has erased everything I felt for you. You shook me like an Etch ‘N’ Sketch and due to that I have forgotten our love and for that I cannot forgive you.” He just realized his mistake because I now stood with in arms reach of him and used surprise to my advantage.
I slammed my palm into his chest in the area of the sternum and he crumpled as all the air rushed out of his lungs. I went to the phone and called it in. ‘Hiya Daddy, we have a problem, Marcus-‘ was all I
got out before I was grabbed and thrown down. The impact caused me to release the air in my lungs then he proceeded to kick me in the ribs to keep me from catching a breath.
I heard my father’s bellow from the floor and the next foot that made contact became my prisoner. I grabbed the foot and held on to it and took a deep breath. “You fucker!” I screamed as the air filled my lungs then I proceeded to roll onto his ankle and I was hoping it was enough and when I heard a very satisfying crack I knew it was and smiled.
“FUCK!” He fell, “YOU BITCH! I WILL KILL YOU NOW!” I don’t know where he got the knife that he pulled out from his back, but the analogy was ripe for the picking. He sort of jumped at me it and I helped his face to get to know my foot better. It made a solid contact and blood poured from his nose.
I think that this must have been his snapping point, because he slammed the floor and suddenly was on me. The knife forgotten in his left hand but his right hand got in two punches to my face before I got my hand out to block. The knife was now back in the game and we were both holding it finally I got it away from my neck by rotating our hands above my head which put his face closer to mine and I head butted his already broken nose so hard it left me seeing stars and he looked stunned as the blood poured from his nose on to me. But then I felt it. The burn on the back of my neck was incredible it caused tears to spring to my eyes.
I delivered one last punch to his temple and he slid off of me dazed and I pulled myself together and kicked him in the head and he promptly lost consciousness. I wasn’t doing so well I put my hand to the back of my neck and that movement caused pain to surge through my whole right side and made my eyes cross. I threw up. The heaving of my stomach and caused the pain to heighten and I passed out.
I sat up in bed and looked around and realized I was in the hotel room and Carson and Kyle were both still in bed. I glanced at the clock and saw that I had lost two hours and now I felt rushed and late.
I again slid out of the bed and this time went to the shower in Carson’s room. I was soaked head to toe when I felt a breeze lick my body, I quickly flipped my hair to lay down my back just as the curtain was pulled open. The dream had me a bit more self-conscious of my scar than normal. “Mind if I join you?” Kyle standing there naked was not one to deny anything to so I nodded and he stepped in. I stepped out of the spray as he stepped in. “I don’t know what you did to Carson last night but I’ve never seen him sleep this long.”
Harley's Choice Page 9
