by Linda Sole
‘I would willingly have given you a home with me.’
‘Had Mama not been so unkind to you I should have accepted. Now I can provide her with a home of her own and enjoy my own residence. You will stay with me often, Roz?’
‘Yes, when I can. What will you do next?’
‘I intend to attend a memorial service for Aunt Mary at her own church. I shall ask your mama to accompany me. Once we have settled the business of the estate I hope to travel abroad. I would ask you to accompany me, Roz, but it would not suit you at the moment. Perhaps in the future?’
‘Yes, perhaps,’ Roz agreed and placed her hands on her stomach. ‘I can begin to feel him here – or her. I’m sure he kicked me this morning.’
‘You’re so lucky to have the child,’ Julia said. ‘I would give all I own to have my baby alive and well.’
‘Yes, of course you would, dearest. I would offer to come to the funeral with you but I’ve been feeling a little tired the last few days. I believe it is all the trauma of the past weeks.’
‘We’ve both had a great deal to upset us since Christmas.’
‘It may be best for you to get right away. You must try to forget this whole unhappy episode, Julia.’
‘I shall not forget Philip. If you truly love a man you accept all his faults.’
‘Yes . . .’ Roz was silent, then: ‘If Philip had been different – a man without an old estate and a title – would you still have married him, Julia?’
Julia looked at her thoughtfully. ‘A marriage such as you describe would be a big step to take, Roz. Stepping down from your class is not something to make lightly – yet, if I felt that I was loved as much as I loved, then the answer is yes.’
‘You are so brave and wise.’
‘I’m not very brave but I know what it is like to love with all my heart – even though I was not loved in return.’ Julia gave her an odd look. ‘Please think carefully, whatever you do.’
‘When did you guess?’
‘I was never sure but I thought there might be someone. Is it Tom Blake?’
‘Yes – but there is such a wide divide between us, Julia. I don’t just mean the difference in class or family – his is better than mine in so many ways. All that has happened . . .’
‘Philip ruined your life too, didn’t he?’
‘It all started with my father’s death.’ Roz stood up and crossed to the window to glance out. ‘There was never any chance for us.’
‘At least I can take your mama away. She will not be here to scold and bully you.’
‘I am grateful that you care enough.’ Roz turned to smile at her. ‘One good thing has come out of all this, Julia. We shall always be friends.’
‘Yes, we shall.’ Julia joined her by the window. ‘I should go while the rain holds off. I want to tell your mama the news, Roz. I shall write to you soon and let you know how things go on.’
‘Yes, you must,’ Roz kissed her cheek. ‘Take care, dearest. I shall miss you.’
‘I’ll visit as much as I can.’
Roz nodded, waiting until Julia had walked from the room. She turned back to gaze out of the window once more.
Tom was forking hay on to a cart when he saw the trap. He stuck his fork into a bale and walked towards it. She was wearing black, her face pale beneath the fine tulle that half covered her face.
‘I hoped you might be here at this time,’ Roz said as he came up to the trap. ‘I wanted to speak to you – unless you hate me too much?’
‘Hate you?’ Tom gave her his hand to help her down. ‘Why should I hate you? You had nothing to do with any of it.’
‘We quarrelled earlier that day. Philip was in trouble. He needed money to get away and I refused to give him more than five hundred pounds. He was furious when he left me. Had I been kinder to him he might not . . .’ Roz choked back the words. ‘You know that they’ve caught Jack Dawson? I heard this morning that he confessed to killing my brother.’
‘I’ve been told.’ Tom led her to the haystack, making a place for her to sit. ‘Should you be driving yourself about in your condition? You are with child?’
‘Yes.’ What would he say if she told him it could be his? ‘I don’t think I shall come to harm unless my horse bolts – and Dobby is very placid.’
‘Unlike the horse that threw you.’
‘You haven’t forgotten, then?’
‘I have forgotten nothing that concerns you.’
She hid her emotion, glancing away as she said, ‘They told me Jack Dawson and Mary Jane planned to blackmail Philip because they saw him murder my husband.’
‘That was a shock. I thought the blackmail might be to do with Carrie’s death. I had no idea that he’d killed Harry Rushden . . . but you did, didn’t you?’ Roz nodded. ‘You didn’t tell anyone? Why did you keep quiet about your husband’s murder? If you’d spoken out Mary Jane might still be alive . . .’
‘Please don’t be angry with me. I was concerned for Julia. She had just lost her baby.’
‘I’m not angry with you. I just need to know.’
‘I couldn’t be sure it was Philip. How could I know? Harry went looking for him and something happened between them. Later, I accused Philip of murder to his face. He shouted at me but despite what he said a part of me struggled to believe him, even though I knew he was telling the truth. I didn’t want Julia to know because it would hurt her – but I suppose it will all come out now.’
‘It’s bound to at the trial. I pity Dawson. He was a fool to try blackmail – and an even bigger one to let Mary Jane do it on her own. He lost his head and just went for your brother when he realized that she was dead.’
‘Yes. I’m so sorry for what Philip did to your family. I would make it all disappear if I could.’
‘We can none of us do that, Roz.’
‘I know. I just wish . . .’ She caught back a sob. ‘Why don’t you hate me, Tom? You should.’
‘Do you hate me? Dick killed your father and in a sense that started all this business.’
‘No, it was before that – when Philip seduced Carrie and told her to blame your father.’
‘He was rotten through and through.’
‘Yes. I think it was a kind of snowball. When it started rolling he couldn’t stop it – things just got out of control.’
‘Yes, I dare say.’
‘An act of dishonour led to tragedy.’
‘Damn his cheating soul to hell!’
‘It’s all such a mess.’
‘That’s one way of putting it.’
‘Oh, Tom . . .’ Tears trickled down her cheeks. ‘I shouldn’t have come . . . it’s too late. You hate me now.’
‘Hush, my love.’ Tom reached out and drew her to him. ‘If my stupid pride hadn’t got in the way I should’ve come to you before this. I thought you must hate me.’
‘I could never hate you, Tom. Surely you know?’ She lifted her tear-laden eyes to his.
‘I can’t get my head around that you love me – I’ve nothing to offer you, Roz.’ Tom groaned as he bent his head to kiss her. It was a long, hungry kiss and they were both shaken when they drew apart. ‘What the hell are we going to do?’
‘I don’t know.’ She hesitated. ‘Rushden Towers is only mine if I have a son. If I have a girl the property and most of the money goes to Harry’s cousin.’
‘I’m not interested in Rushden’s money.’
‘I didn’t mean that. I just want you to understand.’
‘I’d heard something of the sort. It’s all one hell of a mess.’
‘Yes, I know. People will never let us forget.’
Tom stared at her for a long moment. ‘We could go off together, Roz – start a new life somewhere else.’
‘But your family – your farm?’
‘The house and land still belong to my father, even though Dick and I kept it going for years. If it had been left to Pa he would have lost it years ago, but it is still his legally. I have a small amount of mone
y but no house and no land.’
‘What about your mother and Milly?’
‘Ma will manage somehow. I’ve seen to it that she has a girl to help in the house and men in the yard. If she wanted she could run the farm herself.’
‘A new life? You would do that for me, Tom?’
‘I should never have married Mary Jane. You were the one I wanted – right from the day you caught your skirt on the briars.’
‘That seems so long ago.’
‘It was another life. I should have swept you up and run off with you then, Roz.’
‘I wish you had.’ She looked at him sadly. ‘I may not have Rushden Towers but I have some money. We might start a little business of some kind.’
‘I wouldn’t mind running an inn if we could afford it. It would only take a few hundred pounds – and I’ll make money for you. I’ll give you back every penny.’
‘Hush.’ Roz placed her fingers to his lips. ‘The money isn’t yours or mine. It’s just there while we need it. We’ll think of it as the child’s.’
‘What if you have a son? Harry’s son would inherit.’
‘If I was certain it was his.’
He stared at her, stunned.
‘You think it might be mine?’
‘I’ll never be certain. Does it make a difference?’ He shook his head in wonder. He’d never thought that he could be the father of Roz’s child. ‘I wish I could tell you it is your child but I can’t.’
‘You were married to him. We’ll know as the child grows because blood will out.’
‘We’re going, then?’
‘What about your mother? She has to leave the dower house, doesn’t she?’
‘She will live with Julia. Philip’s wife inherited her aunt’s property. She took Mama with her.’
‘Then we’ll go. It’s Thursday now. I ought to make sure everything’s in place as far as the farm goes. I could be ready by Sunday morning.’
‘You really mean it?’
‘I’m sure if you are?’
‘Yes.’ Roz reached up to kiss him. ‘I’ll bring the trap and come here on Sunday morning. Where shall we go?’
‘I’ve always fancied somewhere near the sea,’ Tom said and there was a note of excitement in his voice. ‘You won’t change your mind?’
‘No, I shan’t do that. I love you, Tom Blake. If I’d known that I would never have wed Harry.’
‘I love you, Roz Thornton. I made a mistake when I married Mary Jane but now we have another chance and I intend to make the most of it.’
Roz’s heart was racing as she packed her bags ready for the morning. She’d heard nothing from Tom since their meeting at the hay barn but she was confident he would meet her there on Sunday morning. It wasn’t too late for them. Tom loved her as she loved him. They were going away and they would put the past behind them.
She smiled as she chose the gowns she would take with her. There was no point in selecting her best things because she would never wear her silk evening gowns. She was going to be an innkeeper’s wife and the idea pleased her. Her mother would never speak to her again but Julia would understand.
Roz went across to her dressing table and picked up the box that contained her jewellery. The pain was so sudden and sharp that she gasped and bent over, clutching at her stomach. What was happening to her? Roz stared at herself in the little shield-shaped mirror, her eyes widening as she felt the trickle between her thighs and realized what it was. She was bleeding. Was it a miscarriage? Tom had told her she ought not to be driving the trap but she’d felt so well. She hadn’t even thought of the consequences.
She must summon help. Turning towards the door she felt a pain much sharper than the first and her head swirled. She screamed loudly and then collapsed on the floor as she convulsed with pain.
She was losing her baby.
‘I’m so sorry, little one,’ she whispered. ‘So very sorry. I didn’t take care of you . . .’
The tears were running down her cheeks as the door opened and the housekeeper entered.
‘Mrs Rushden. What happened to you?’
‘I’m having a miscarriage. Please help me to bed and then send for the doctor . . .’
‘You can’t leave us,’ Ellen said and stared at Tom in dismay. ‘How am I going to manage all the work? Even with the girl you hired I’ve got as much as I can do here. I can’t see to the land and the stock as well.’
‘Let Pa fend for himself more,’ Tom said. ‘As for the land – sell it. Sell the stock and just keep a few pigs and some chickens. The money the land brings in will keep you going for a few years.’
‘And that’s all you care about?’
‘It isn’t that I don’t care, Ma. You know how people talk. I can’t ask Roz to come and live here – and I want to be with her.’
‘So we don’t matter? What happens to your father and Carrie’s girl – you can just forget about them, is that it?’
‘It has to be this way, Ma. You know I can’t ask her here. You told me you’d walk out if I did . . .’
‘I didn’t mean it, Tom. You know I didn’t.’ She caught hold of his arm. ‘Please don’t leave us.’
‘It’s all arranged, Ma. I’m meeting Roz at the hay barn. We’re going off together this morning.’
‘Tom, think what you’ll be giving up. Everything you’ve worked so hard for – the land and all the plans you had.’
‘It means nothing to me without her.’
‘Bring her here. Let people talk. What does it matter?’
‘I suppose I could ask.’ Tom felt the justice of his mother’s plea. ‘I’m not promising anything so don’t set your hopes too high.’
They heard John Blake calling from upstairs. Ellen threw him another pleading look. ‘Please think about it. I must see to your father . . .’ They heard the loud thump and looked at each other. ‘What’s happened now?’
‘I’ll take a look. It sounds as if he’s had a fall.’
Running up the stairs, Tom entered his father’s bedroom closely followed by his mother. John Blake was lying on the floor in a heap, his face hidden. Bending over him, Tom looked at his face and made a sound of disbelief.
‘I think he’s gone. He must have had another stroke or something. By the look of him he choked to death on his own vomit.’
Ellen’s face was white as she knelt over her husband’s body and checked for signs of life.
‘You’d best send someone for the doctor to make sure – and then get off to meet your girl. This makes no difference, Tom. We’ve known it could happen and you’ve your own life to think of now.’
Tom was torn two ways. He ought to feel grief for his father but he couldn’t. John Blake had been a hard man and he’d killed any love his wife and son might have had for him, but his death made it hard to leave right now.
‘I’ll speak to Roz. We’ll wait for a bit. If I sell the land and give you money you’ll be able to move into the village and have neighbours to look out for you.’
‘I’ll stay here with a couple of pigs and a few hens if it’s all the same to you. Fetch that doctor, Tom – and tell your girl she’s welcome here if she wants to come.’
Tom nodded and went out. If he didn’t get off Roz would already be waiting.
It was as he was about to leave the farm that he saw the young lad waiting by the gate. If his memory served him right, he worked for Roz up at the Towers. He frowned. Had Roz sent to tell him she wasn’t coming?
‘Tom . . .’ Roz’s head turned on the pillow. ‘I want to see Tom . . . please, I must see him. I must . . .’
‘What’s that, madam?’ The housekeeper touched a cool cloth to her brow. ‘If you mean Mr Blake, the lad took your note to him yesterday.’
‘Why doesn’t he come? I feel so ill. Why doesn’t anyone come?’
‘Mr Rushden sent a letter to your sister-in-law,’ Mrs Martin soothed. ‘Lady Julia will come soon. You should rest now, madam.’
‘I want Tom. Why doesn’t
he come?’
Mrs Martin left the bedroom and went downstairs to the front parlour where a gentleman was standing before the fire. He had been staring into the flames but turned to look at her as she entered.
‘How is she, Mrs Martin?’
‘She is feverish, sir,’ the housekeeper replied. ‘She keeps asking for Tom Blake.’
‘That fellow.’ Keith Rushden looked displeased. ‘You have my instructions. He is not to be allowed to see her – and she is not to know he called here on Sunday.’
‘Are you sure that’s the right thing to do, sir? She was crying and begging me to fetch him to her. Would it not be kinder to let him see her just for a while?’
‘Her life is in the balance. That man is not a suitable person for her to see. You will please obey me, Mrs Martin – if you wish to keep your position here?’
‘Yes, sir. I know you’re the master here now that the mistress has lost the baby.’
‘I like loyal people about me, Mrs Martin. If you do as I ask there will be a bonus for you when this is over. Remember, I’m only doing what is best for your mistress. I may own this house and the estate but I have no intention of turning Mrs Rushden out, I assure you.’
‘Very well, sir. I just want what is best for her.’
‘I’ve heard that Mr Blake’s father has just died. I’m sure he doesn’t have the time to dance attendance on Mrs Rushden’s whims.’
‘No, sir.’
‘I have business to attend for the moment. I shall return later to see what the doctor has to say when he visits.’
‘Yes, sir, of course.’
Mrs Martin stared after him as he went out. She stood for a moment and wondered what to do. He might think he held the whip hand but she wasn’t so easily beaten – and she didn’t wish to work for a master who thought his word was law no matter what. Mrs Rushden would give her a reference if she needed it and she liked the young woman too much to see her fretting.
Sitting down at her mistress’s desk, she took out a sheet of paper and picked up a pen. Her writing wasn’t perfect but Tom Blake would get the message and then it was up to him.
Tom looked at the note and frowned. He’d been denied access to Roz on Sunday when he’d gone in answer to her own message. He hadn’t been sure why she didn’t want to see him and had been on the verge of riding over and forcing his way into the house if he had to. Now he understood why he’d been turned away the last time.
