“Your friend—Lola is her name, correct?” She changes the subject. “She’s very beautiful.”
“Thanks,” I cautiously reply.
“Is she natural?”
“What?” I’m still a little caught off guard that Lola’s even a topic of conversation with this crazy-ass dominatrix.
“Her breasts, are they natural?” she asks again, her expression a little more annoyed.
“Yeah, they’re real.” I nod. Lola’s been stacked since her early teens, and I’ve practically had to build a wall around her to keep guys from chasing after her like a pack of wild dogs.
“Is she waxed, trimmed, shaved…?”
“I don’t know,” I reply hesitantly. I haven’t seen her naked in a long time, and who knows what she’s got going on down there these days.
“And you’re positive she’s a virgin?” I can almost see the dollar signs in her eyes, and I’m afraid of whatever scheme she’s planning.
“Yeah,” I snap, “I’m positive she’s a virgin.” Please! I’ve spent most of my life making sure no horny assholes take advantage of her, so yes, I’m certain that she’s a virgin.
“And you can confirm that?” Eva eagerly asks. She’s too excited about this, and I’m feeling more worried by the second.
“Confirm it?” What does she want, a note from Lola’s doctor or something? This is fuckin’ ridiculous!
“James, there is a very lucrative market for virgins,” she rapidly explains. “There are many in my client base who pay top dollar for deflowering videos. The first time captures the pleasure and pain they crave, and they’ll empty their pockets to see a real virgin—they want the ones who will bleed. Your friend is gorgeous, and if you could convince her to—”
“No fuckin’ way!” I interrupt. So this is what she’s been plotting since she saw Lola’s picture on my phone. “I’m not letting one of your sketchy-ass dudes fuck my best friend for a little bit of cash.”
“A lot of cash, James.”
“No! There’s no fuckin’ way I’d let somebody fuck her on tape for you.”
She pauses for a second and squints a little like she’s scanning my brain. “What about if you did it?” she asks, trying to gauge my reaction.
“What?” I’m caught off guard by this question.
“What if it was you? You said the two of you are best friends. Why don’t you do it? I’ll make it worth your while.”
“Eva, that’s not gonna happen.” My head starts spinning with all these thoughts racing through it. I’m a swirl of anger and fear, and I can’t figure out which emotion is winning.
“You don’t find her sexually appealing?” She grins.
“No, I totally do, but I’m not fucking her on camera,” I rapidly fire back.
Wait, did I just tell Eva that I find Lola sexually appealing? Lola is really beautiful, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about her once or twice to help me finish a scene, but it’s not like I want to take her to bed. Besides, who says she’d even consider fucking me in the first place?
“Have you been intimate with her before? Perhaps in a lesser capacity?” Eva asks, continuing this relentless assault.
“It’s not like that, Eva.” I shake my head. Well, it’s not like that anymore.
I felt her boobs at our friend Dave Keegan’s pool party when I was sixteen, and I fingered her once a few years later. That was the first time she’d ever come, and I felt pretty fuckin’ proud of myself when I watched it happen for her. Even right now, I get a smile on my face thinking about the soft, feminine, little moans she made, but Eva’s voice cracks through my stroll down memory lane.
“You haven’t ever been with her before? Never? A beautiful girl like that?” She smirks, raising that sharp-ass eyebrow at me.
“No,” I lie. I’m way attracted to Lola, and I know she’s at least a little bit attracted to me. We’ve had a couple steamy moments in the past, but we both know that we wouldn’t work as a couple, and I don’t want her to sleep with somebody unless she’s in love, so I know she can’t sleep with me. It’s complicated, but me and Lola get it. I don’t have time to explain this shit to Eva.
“But you’d like to be with her.”
“I told you, it’s not like that,” I reply, neither confirming nor denying it.
“Have you taken a virgin before, James? With your looks and charm, I’m assuming that you have.”
“Yeah, a few times,” I quietly admit. I started having sex when I was thirteen, so I’ve been with my fair share of virgins over the years.
“And you wouldn’t like to take her, your friend? You find that idea repulsive?”
“No, I don’t find it repulsive at all,” I protest.
“So you do find the idea appealing?”
“Yes—I mean, no—well, yes,” I struggle to articulate my reply. I’m so fuckin’ flustered by this whole conversation.
“You see that she’s sexy; you’re attracted to her?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you would like to sleep with her?”
“Yeah—well, wait, no. It’s not like that,” I try to explain.
“You said yourself, she’s your best friend,” Eva says in that hypnotic, vampire-glamour way. “You two have a mutual trust. Take her on camera and you’ll be handsomely rewarded.”
“Eva, I’m not fucking my friend for money.” I shake my head with disgust as I turn away from her and open my car door.
“You’d rather it be someone else?” she says, peeking over my shoulder. “You’d rather that she give herself to a stranger, someone with whom she has no long-standing relationship, no ties or connections? A drunken misadventure perhaps. Or maybe something worse. Much worse. A pretty girl like that is vulnerable, James. I’d hate to think of what an uncouth individual would do to her if he met her in a dark alley somewhere.”
“What the fuck did you just say?” I angrily turn around to face her. Was that a threat or just something to piss me off?
“Only throwing some scenarios out there,” she says, taking a step back. “I just don’t see why you wouldn’t want to claim her. Otherwise it’ll just be someone else who catches her at a moment of weakness and convinces her to give herself to him. What if he takes advantage of her, uses her, defiles her?”
Christ! Like all my fears lined up in a row.
“Take her now and you’ll be the only one who’s ever had her. Don’t you want that honor?”
Yes and no. I care so deeply about Lola that the thought of some dude carelessly fucking her like it was no big deal makes me a little nauseated, but I feel like I wouldn’t deserve to be the one either. She needs a Prince Charming kind of dude who will sweep her off her feet and commit to her before he tries to get in her pants.
“You don’t get it,” I say. “I can’t fuck her. She means too much to me to do that to her.”
“Don’t be silly, James,” Eva says, laughing. “Who wouldn’t want to lay claim to a beautiful woman like that? When she feels that pain, she’ll know that you’ve been there—only you. Untouched territory never before explored by another man,” she whispers like she’s casting a fuckin’ spell on me with her mind. “Claim her, James. Claim her and make her never forget that it was you.”
“Eva, back the fuck off!” I say, my eyes narrowing on her. “Nobody’s ‘claiming’ Lola, all right? Enough of this shit!”
“I like that temper,” she sneers. “So you would like to take her, then? The idea of another man staking his claim on her upsets you, and you know you’ve desired her before. You want her. You don’t want to picture her legs splayed, panting and moaning as she writhes on a bed, the shock on her face as another man tears through—”
“Shut the fuck up, Eva!” I shout. I can feel my jaw clenching, and I have a surge of rage-adrenaline. “I’m not fucking my friend on camera, and I’m not listening to this shit anymore! This conversation is over!” I growl as I get into my car and slam the door.
I peel out of the parking lot, and I’m fumin
g the whole way home. What kind of bullshit offer was that? It felt more like a threat than a proposition. She wants somebody—me!—to take Lola’s virginity on film just so she can make money off the video. “They want the ones who will bleed.” Well, fuck that! Lola’s innocence is worth a hell of a lot more than some bullshit clip on Eva’s creepy website.
As I get closer to the apartments, I get a pit in my stomach for another reason. What if Eva was right? What if Lola does go ahead and lose it to some asshole who doesn’t treat her right? For some reason, the idea of some other guy being with her that first time bums me out more than her doing it on tape. Another guy wouldn’t know how to please her, how to caress her skin and softly kiss her, how to do everything gently and make sure it doesn’t hurt…but I do know how. I’ve done it before with virgins, but with Lola it would be even more special because I care about her so much, and I’d get to show her something she’s never experienced.
No, no, no. I’m not letting myself even think about that. Lola’s my friend, not my girlfriend, not my friend with benefits. She’s not for me, and there are probably lots of great guys who would be good to her. She can be with whoever she wants, and there’s nothing I can do about it, even if it’s irritating the hell out of me right now.
I sit on Lola’s couch, stewing in anger for about a half hour before she finally comes home from work. I get up and practically run to her, holding her tight in my arms like I have to protect her from the whole world. She’s like my perfect little rainbow, my angel, my little pixie, and I don’t want all the fucked-up ills of society to ruin her.
“What’s up, dude?” she asks with confusion when she pulls back from the hug. Clearly, she’s noticed the way my whole body relaxed the second I touched her.
“Nothing, Lo.” I smile broadly, relieved just to see her face.
“You sure?” she pushes. She can see it in my eyes. She’s always been able to read me like a book.
“I just had a fucked-up day at work, that’s all,” I reply, giving her an inch and hoping she won’t go for the full mile.
“Do you want to talk about it, babe?” she asks sweetly, reaching out to lightly touch my face. The touch of her hand on my cheek makes me exhale, and I feel this peaceful wave like I’m floating.
I breathe a big sigh as I press my hand over hers, holding it to my cheek and wishing Eva’d never seen that fuckin’ picture on my phone.
“Come on.” She nods toward the couch. “Sit down and tell me what happened.”
She has this weird, calming effect on me, and I follow her and sit down beside her. She must know that her touch is comforting to me because she scoots forward and brushes my hair behind my ear before kissing my forehead and sitting back down. Her eyes push me to open up, and I really, really want to, but I’m struggling to figure out how to remove the whole “some chick just offered me money to take your virginity on video” part of the conversation.
“Okay,” I exhale, “so you know Eva Satana?”
“The chick that does all that extreme stuff?”
“Right.” I nod. “Well, she came by Rick’s office today, and she was offering me money to do things—things I don’t think I wanna do.”
“Ah.” She raises her eyebrows. “The moral dilemma.”
“Yeah, but this is, like, way beyond anything I’ve done before, and honestly, I don’t want to do it. It’s shit that’s just…wrong.” To my surprise, my voice cracks at the end of that sentence. Shit!
“James,” she says with surprise, immediately embracing me, “I’ve never seen you this upset by work stuff before. What the hell is this bitch asking you to do that’s got you like this?”
“I can’t tell you, Lo.” Fuck! My voice is trembling like I’m going to start crying. If I tell her what Eva proposed today, she’ll totally freak, and she might get pissed off at me for unknowingly bringing her into this fucked-up situation.
“I don’t know,” she says, attempting to reassure me. “I have a pretty high tolerance for the crazy shit that goes on in your world. You know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Yeah,” I say, managing a weak smile as she brushes her fingers through my hair. “I just don’t want to talk about this particular shit.”
She looks a little disappointed. I know she’s bummed that I’m not opening up to her about this, but I’m worried that once I start I’ll end up spilling everything, and I still haven’t gotten my shit straight about how I really feel with the whole taking-her-virginity-so-nobody-else-will-get-to thing.
“Can we just have dinner and watch some TV like a normal Tuesday, please?” Even as I hear my words, I know I sound vulnerable and afraid.
“Of course.” She nods, hugging me tight one more time.
She smells so nice, and I love having my arms around her firm little body. My head is against her chest, and my chin’s brushing her cleavage. I hate to admit it, but I’m totally digging that.
She tells me she’s cooking me dinner this time, and she starts taking out the stuff for chicken parmesan. I insist on helping—I feel weird with her taking care of me—and she lets me help out with the tomato-olive sauce so I can feel like I have something to do. To her credit, she doesn’t push me to talk about Eva any more that night. I manage to put it out of my mind as we chat over dinner. I’m not freaked out anymore by the time we chill out in the living room for Tosh.0.
Chapter 5
Lola
“I HOPE YOU LIKE ITALIAN,” Eric says as we ride in the elevator back up to our respective offices.
“I love Italian.” I grin back.
“Good.” He puts his arm around me and runs his hand down to the small of my back. “I know this really great place. Best gnocchi in the city, hands down.”
“I’m totally in,” I cheerfully reply as we arrive on our floor.
“I’ll see you tonight, babe.” He kisses my cheek. He’s heading down the hallway when he calls back, “By the way, that color looks so sexy on you.”
I playfully shake my head before I walk into my office and make my way to my desk. I wonder if my olive green, A-line dress really does look nice, or if he just wanted a reason to compliment me. I have been dressing a lot cuter for the past few months in hopes that Eric would take notice. I’m wearing clothes that hug my curves, I’m rocking mascara every day, and I’ve graduated from my usual heels to some sexy six-inchers that give me killer legs. I’m mentally raiding my closet, trying to decide what else I could have chosen to wear for my big date tonight, when I get a text from James:
Good luck with Thor tonight!
I quickly type out my response:
I’m sure I’ll be feeling his thunder this evening ;)
James instantly replies:
Just tell him to keep his hammer in his pants
…and ;) back at you
I laugh quietly to avoid the wrath of Peter, my boss. He tends to freak out when I text or Facebook on the job, even though I’ve already finished setting his appointments for the week and I’m on cruise control.
The day drags on slowly as I think about what this evening might have in store. The last real date I went on was junior year in high school, and that ended with Nick Doyle trying to stick his hand down my pants. I didn’t really experience the free wheelin’ social scene in college, and since graduation, the only guy I see on the regular is my porn star best friend.
Finally, the workday is over and I meet up with Eric at the elevators.
“Ready to go?” He smiles, slipping his phone into his pocket.
“Yeah, I ducked out early, managed to go undetected by Peter,” I reply, grinning.
“If Peter would have yelled at you, I would have had to swoop in and take you away,” he says flirtatiously.
“My knight in shining armor, coming to save me from that tyrant.” I grab my heart like I’m swooning as he slides his arms around my waist.
He kisses my cheek as we wait for the elevator before getting in and heading down to the parking level. He’s d
riving tonight, so I had James drop me off at work this morning. Eric’s got a brand new, white Audi. I can tell he probably thinks this impresses me, but I’m not a glitz and glamour kind of girl. I didn’t grow up with money, and fancy things have never been very important to me. Still, I act like I’m psyched about Eric’s choice of vehicle and slide into the comfy leather passenger seat.
I order the gnocchi at the restaurant since it came so highly recommended, and it’s good enough, but slightly inferior to James’s version. Eric and I flirt and make conversation as we sip wine and enjoy the meal.
“So, um, are you actually friends with James Langdon?” he asks timidly. “I saw him on your Facebook.”
“Uh-huh.” I nod and finish taking a sip of wine. “He’s my best friend. I’ve known him since elementary school, back when he was just mild-mannered James Laird.”
Eric looks surprised, but I don’t care.
This conversation happens every time someone discovers that I’m BFFs with a super famous porn star. I’ve never been ashamed of James, even when everyone in our hometown seemed to jump on the James-Laird-is-the-devil bandwagon, and I’ll never let anybody shake me on that opinion. Unfortunately, some people really look down on porn stars, and I’ve had co-workers sneer at me and friends drop me once they found out that I was so close with him. He’s gotten quite famous in the adult industry, which means lots of people know who he is, and they occasionally freak out when they realize that I practically live with him. This might be a moment of truth for Eric, and I’m anxious to see whether he’ll turn up his nose or just roll with it.
“So you knew him before the movies,” Eric continues, “back when he was just a regular guy?”
I nod. I’m not particularly keen on the hint of judgment in that last part, but I don’t want to argue the matter.
“I imagine he’s always been a hit with the ladies,” he says, chuckling.
“Oh yeah! He basically discovered that he could make money off his many ‘talents’ if he did it in front of a camera. He’s always been really free with it anyway, so I guess it was a natural progression.”
Captured (Vice, Virtue & Video Book 2) Page 4
