I laugh and pull her in for another hug. I genuinely like working with Amber, and I’m sure this shoot’s going to be great. I know her limits and I don’t have anyone behind the scenes trying to force me to injure her. The relief is almost overwhelming, and for the first time since the fuckin’ atrocity that was my Savannah Slade scene, I’m excited to go out there and shoot something.
Today, we’re filming in an existing playroom in some rich guy’s rented mansion. Our crew brought in their own props, but this dude’s got rigging on the ceiling for suspensions, shackles attached to the wall, and a huge St. Andrew’s cross that was too heavy for the production team to move, so they just sterilized it and left it for us to use. I’d like to meet this dude and high-five him. Clearly, he gets pretty freaky.
We’re rolling, and I bind Amber’s hands and latch her onto a big hook above the cross. She has to stand on her tiptoes, and I make a mental note to let her down soon so she doesn’t have to stretch for too long. I turn her so her back’s to the camera, and I start talking to her, saying my lines and telling her she’s broken the rules and has to be punished—all that Dominant, threatening shit I usually do. I put the ball gag in her mouth and leave it loose so she can spit it out if she wants to. Her stomach is elongated from having her hands tied above her head, and I hike up her white cotton panties to caress the smooth skin of her ass. I give her a light swat, and she pretends to flinch.
Amber’s a natural redhead and she’s very popular in BDSM videos because, with her pale skin, every little slap leaves a pink handprint, regardless of how hard the hit really is.
I rotate her so her back’s to me and press her against me as I put my hand over her mouth like I’m trying to quiet her whimpers. I turn her so I’m standing behind her and she’s facing the camera as I rip her tear-away tank top open, exposing her tits. I squeeze them hard and flick her nipples in the way I know she likes. She whimpers and pretends to be afraid, but she also moans and I feel her grind her ass against my crotch as I press into her.
I back away from her, leaving her standing there wanting me. I grab a riding crop from the rack in the corner of the room, and I run it over her stomach before swatting her tits. She pretends to wince and whine as I keep hitting her. Amber’s a pro and I’m very familiar with her tolerance level, so I don’t go harder than she likes.
We move on to nipple clamps, and I tease her with them before sucking her nipples until both are elongated and hard. I close the clamps around them one at a time before turning her and spanking her again. I caress her ass between slaps and continue spanking her until she’s totally pink, then I tug on the chain attaching the clamps a little bit so it looks like it’s pulling and stretching her nipples. She whimpers, pretending it hurts. The clamps are adjustable, and they’re actually pretty loose. I’m careful not to pull them too hard so they don’t come right off and ruin the illusion.
Once Amber’s thoroughly bound, spanked, and clamped, we pause for some stills, get some close-ups, and get to the fucking. I’m facing her and she’s pressed against the cross when I lift her legs up and slam into her. She moans loudly around the gag as I thrust into her again. Amber likes it rough like this, and I know how hard to go to make it feel the best for her.
My teeth graze her chin and I nip at her earlobe as I continue to pump her harder and harder, whispering shit to her while she acts like she’s scared. She’s panting loudly, and her eyes look surprised at how good this feels. She seems to disregard the cameras and her moans sound a lot deeper and more real as I continue. If I remember correctly, she likes when I move my hips in kind of a circle, so I shift up a little bit as I enter her. I angle myself so I’m hitting her right on target. That gets her moaning even louder, and I’m lightly kissing her face as I pound her rapidly.
All the lights, cameras, and crew seem to fade out for me, and I reach up and pull the gag out of her mouth, kissing her passionately. I pull her tight against me and rock my hips slower, giving her deeper, more sensual thrusts. She looks in my eyes and she seems thankful, like this feels incredible. She’s loving it, and she can’t even concentrate on fake pleas or whines. She’s moaning really loudly, and her breath is racing as she pants. I lift her off the hook and press her back against the cross, holding her close as I continue going deep and feeling her body respond.
I know I’m not supposed to, but I just really want to do it like this. I need to hold her and fuck her slow like it’s some kind of sexual therapy for what I did with Savannah. Amber’s hands are still bound, but her arms rest on my shoulders as she pulls me closer to her and kisses me intensely. She’s enjoying this, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
She’s tied up and I’m giving her a seriously deep dicking, but this doesn’t feel like any scene I’ve done before. If it weren’t for the ropes, this probably wouldn’t even classify as BDSM. We’re looking in each other’s eyes and kissing, ignoring everyone who has now stopped what they’re doing and started staring at us.
I slow my pace a little and kiss her like never before. I’m closing my eyes and getting really into it when my mind suddenly transforms Amber into Lola. I hold her and caress her back just as tenderly as I would with Lola. I slide my hand down to rock her hips slowly against me as I start kissing and nuzzling her neck.
Lola likes soft, sweet kisses on the neck. I remember how hot I got her when I was kissing her neck the time I felt her up at our friend Dave Keegan’s pool party. It was probably about thirty seconds total, but her nipples got all hard and she started breathing deeply. She was way turned on, and I wanted to get my mouth on those pretty pink nipples so bad, but I managed to pull the plug on it because I was too scared I’d lose control if I kept going. I wanted her so fuckin’ bad in that moment that I was worried I’d lose my shit, tear her bikini bottoms off, and fuck the shit out of her right there in Keegan’s hallway. I totally could have done it. She was so warmed up that she probably would have let me, but I would have felt horrible after.
I don’t know what it is, but I think about her differently than I do most girls and the idea of anybody—including me—fucking her makes me all angry and nervous. Nobody should fuck Lola—they should make love to her—and I was in no position to do that when I was a horny teenager.
In my head, I’m picturing Lola’s body wrapped around me, her warmth against me, the way she’d be so tight inside as her pristine, untouched body stretched to take me. I’d be gentle with her. I’d want to softly caress her and look in her eyes. I’d want to kiss every inch of her and go extra slow to make it feel really good. I’d want to hold her in my arms when she came and feel her little body tremble with pleasure. I’d want to see that delighted, surprised look on her face when it happened, to watch her expression right at that moment of ecstasy. Maybe she’d call out my name; maybe she’d just make some of those pretty little whimpers she does when she comes—either way, it’d be perfect.
I’m totally wrapped up in my fantasy of Lola when I feel Amber start to quiver inside. For a fleeting minute, I imagine that I’m inside Lola and that it’s her starting to climax around me. When I open my eyes, my daydream fades, and I look at Amber’s pretty face as she starts tipping over the edge.
Her eyes shoot open wide, and she gasps as her body convulses and she cries out. I feel triumphant. I got my mojo back. Making her come has made me feel like my old self again. I’m so happy to be giving one of my co-stars pleasure instead of humiliation and pain like that god-awful shoot with Savannah. I keep going, wanting to squeeze every last drop out of this thing.
Amber is panting and moaning as she holds me tight. Her neck arches back, and I speed up my pace, which sets her off again. She moans so loudly when I make her come a third time, then a fourth. Fuck yes! I’m loving how much she’s enjoying this. The crew is dead silent behind us as she climaxes two more times in quick succession. I am the fuckin’ man!
She feels so perfect inside when she twitches and pulses like that, and I know I can’t hold back much longer. I’v
e been instructed to pull out and come on her tits, but I don’t want to let her go. I’m overcome by this therapeutic moment, and I kiss her passionately as I moan against her lips and come inside her. I know that, somewhere deep down in my subconscious, I’m imagining she’s Lola, but I don’t want to dwell on that thought, since it kind of freaks me out how bad I wish it was real. I’m kissing her slower as I try to catch my breath.
“Holy shit, James!” she exhales as she looks up at me with wide, appreciative eyes.
“Sorry,” I say with an apologetic smile.
“Fuck! Don’t be sorry for that! That was amazing! I’ve never been fucked like that before,” she breathlessly praises.
“I’m pretty sure I fucked up the shot, but I just needed to know I could still make somebody feel good,” I confess, giving her a little kiss.
“Well, you definitely did that!” She chuckles and kisses me back.
Finally, something that feels intimate again. I know it’s work and that it’s not real, but I just need to hold her and kiss her like this. I need a woman to enjoy the way that I touch her. I need to know that I’m not some soulless monster and that I can still give a girl pleasure, that I can still be gentle if I want to.
“What the fuck was that?” Jason, our director, shouts from behind the camera. He’s totally pissed as he stomps over to us.
I’m still inside Amber, but I pull out and she giggles to me as I roll my eyes at his level of anger.
“Hello! You guys were supposed to go fucking, oral, anal, then a pop shot on her tits! And you didn’t pause when I called for stills or close-ups!”
“Sorry, Jason,” I say apologetically, but with a smart-ass grin. “I got carried away.” Truth is, I didn’t even hear him call for stills or close-ups. I was that wrapped up in everything.
“Well, we’re making a fucking movie here, so I hope you’re both ready to go again!” he huffs.
“I’m good to go again.” Amber smiles at me.
“James?” Jason asks.
“I’m ready too.” I smile and nod, looking down to see that I am, indeed, ready and raring to go again.
“Then both of you get the fuck back up there and let’s reset,” he says with exasperation. “You wanna fuck, you do it on your own time!”
I snicker, and Amber rolls her eyes at Jason before I give her a little kiss and get back into position. Now that I’ve got that out of the way, I know I can pull off a great scene. I just needed something to recharge myself, to bring me back to who I am.
Chapter 9
Lola
I’M KICKING BACK with my feet up on James’s lap as we watch TV. I’m totally stuffed from the dinner he made, and I’m glad we’re at my house so I can go directly to bed at the end of the night. We’re watching a few old episodes of True Blood off HBO Go and talking about the characters and the differences between the show and the book series. Eric Northman—the Viking vampire—and Sookie Stackhouse—the telepathic Louisiana waitress—have just burst in the door of her house and are frantically fucking on the floor in the foyer.
“These two shoot a pretty great sex scene,” James praises.
“It’s glamorous with them, really sexy. Plus, Alexander Skarsgård is so fucking hot!”
“You like that Nordic look,” he teases, referring to Eric—my boyfriend, not the hot, Swedish vampire on TV.
“But I think Alcide is mad hot too,” I point out. Joe Manganiello, the actor who plays Alcide on True Blood, is definitely not Nordic looking, but is equally gorgeous.
“So you have a range of guys you think are hot? You’d take a variety of dicks, then?” he says, giving me a playful smirk.
“I’d say that’s accurate.” I raise an eyebrow defiantly and then turn back to the TV. “The shower scene in this was so hot. It was so sexy in the book, and they took it a different way, but still made it hot.”
“What do they do in the book?”
He hasn’t read the novels, but I completely adore them.
“It’s a lot of anticipation. They wash each other off, and then she’s all impressed because he has a great ass and a amazingly big dick,” I say, giggling.
James nods as if saying Yeah, I’ve heard that before.
“And then she decides to fuck him, so he takes her in the bedroom, and he goes down on her a little bit, and then they have sex, and it’s incredible. Best sex she’s ever had,” I explain.
“I wonder why they didn’t put all that in the show,” he ponders curiously.
“Eh, creative decisions.” I shrug.
“They’re really good about sex scenes on this, though.” He nods in approval. “That one in the very first episode where he fucks that girl while she’s got her hands chained up to the ceiling, that was some pretty hot shit. Reminded me of some of the ones I’ve shot.”
“That’s true. It was like the one you did with Tara Morgan a few years ago.” Now that I think about it, it was remarkably similar except the actress who plays Maudette Pickens, the fuckee in the True Blood scene, is prettier than Tara Morgan.
“I dig it, too, because they don’t do that thing where people are making out and they suddenly jump right to sex,” he adds. “It’s such a movie cliché, and they only do it because they can’t allot a bunch of time for the sex scene. With us, we have all kinds of foreplay shit before we even start fucking, and that’s more real.”
“But the entire point of your movies is sex. They don’t have to fit story in there too.”
“True, but that’s why I like this show. They’ll make out, but they’ve done scenes where they do other shit before they jump to sex. They take time to show guys going down on girls, which you don’t see a lot on regular TV and movies.”
“That’s true,” I say, recalling various sex scenes in the series.
“And good for them, you know?” he says, like they’ve received his honorable seal of approval. “Chicks really dig that, and it’s never even mentioned in most shows and movies.”
I start blushing, and I’m trying my hardest not to look at him. He can see right through me, of course, and he turns to me and gives me a big, sly smile.
“What?” he asks, his grin getting wider.
“Nothing, it just reminds me of something,” I say, trying to fix my eyes back on Sookie and Eric so I look like I’m concentrating on the show.
“Come on, Lo,” he says, with a chuckle, “what are you thinking about?”
“It’s just—” I begin, debating whether I should even tell him “—it’s something involving Eric—my Eric.”
“And what is it?”
“He wants to do that to me,” I say, definitely not able to look him in the eye without becoming a red-faced, giggly mess.
“He wants to fuck you? Duh! I know that.”
“No, he wants to…you know.” I’m already giggling, and I can’t look at him for fear that it will only make it worse.
“He wants to go down on you?” he says, catching my drift.
“Uh-huh.”
“And you don’t want him to?”
“I mean, I want him to, but I’m nervous. No one’s ever done that to me before, and it’s kind of…stressful.”
“Stressful?” He sounds amused. “It’s gonna feel great for you. I don’t know why it’d be stressful.”
“Because,” I whine. “I just—I’m worried about…you know…him not liking it.”
“Why wouldn’t he like it?” He turns completely so he’s staring right at me. “Look how nervous you are, kid!” He laughs. “This is so cute.”
“Shut up!” I scold him through my laughter as I try to will my cheeks back to their normal color.
“Too funny,” he says, chuckling. “But seriously, Lo, why are you so freaked out about it?”
“I’m worried that he won’t like the way I taste—like, that I’ll taste bad,” I finally blurt out, momentarily covering my face with my hands in embarrassment.
James snickers and shakes his head. “Lo, most girls think they
taste bad, but hardly any of them actually do.”
It’s slightly reassuring, and I can feel my tension beginning to dissipate, but only marginally.
“I’ve probably done it to, like, six hundred girls, and I’d say less than one percent of them were slightly below awesome.” He shrugs.
“But what if I’m part of that one percent?”
“You gotta get over it, Lo,” he says sympathetically. “He’s gonna do it, and you’re gonna love it, and it’s gonna be fine. Besides, I’m sure you’re delicious.”
It’s a strange compliment, but his intentions are sweet, so I take it as he means it.
“It just freaks me out,” I confess bashfully.
“Well, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” he says like he’s concerned. His worst fear is me being pressured into any kind of sexual situation; I know this from his years defending me against exactly that.
“No, I really want to,” I admit. “Just from what I’ve heard, it feels amazing and I want to try it, but I’m nervous because I haven’t done it before and Eric has.”
He exhales a big sigh and gives me a flirty smile as he stands up from the couch and holds out his hand. I’m curious, so I take it, and he pulls me up from the couch. He turns and starts walking toward my bedroom, and I follow along.
“What’s this? What are we doing now?” I ask.
“I’m gonna go down on you, Lo,” he says plainly, like he’s offering to change a light bulb or pick up my dry cleaning.
“What?” I gasp, stopping in my tracks.
“I’m gonna do it, and I’ll prove that you taste good and that you’ll love it.” He tenderly brushes my hair behind my ear as he looks in my eyes.
What the fuck? James hasn’t been sexual with me in years and now he’s jumping to this? It’s crazy! Completely insane. But part of me really, really wants to go for it. Deep down, I’m aware that it’s not so much the experience itself, but something about James doing it that makes me eager and excited. I’ve seen his videos, I know how he rolls, and my heart is fluttering at the mere prospect of him doing this to me.
Captured (Vice, Virtue & Video Book 2) Page 8
