by Nora Phoenix
A huge thank you to you as reader, for taking a chance on a new author. I hope you loved this book…and the many more that are to follow.
My last acknowledgement is to my two real life besties. AM, your love, friendship, and support has been a constant in my life for the last years. You are and always will be my person. KJ, the universe got it right when we two met, because you’re my sister from another mother. You allow me to be myself, and damn, it feels good.
Coming Soon
Don’t miss the next installment in the No Shame Series! In No Limits, we’ll follow Josh on his journey to a happy ever after:
Josh is convinced he’ll never find someone who’ll love him the way he is. He’s not exactly a catch with his PTSD, which has transformed him into a homebody most of the times. Sweet, maybe, but also boring as hell. Plus, there’s that submissive tendency he recently discovered and is dying to explore. His complicated relationship with Noah and Indy don’t make it easy, either. When Connor shows interest in him, he can’t believe the sexy cop would look at him twice, let alone make an effort to get to know him. When he does, Josh discovers they have more in common than he’d ever thought possible.
Connor had survived the ordeal that left his best friend and fellow Marine dead, but that survival came at a price. He’s a robot, going through the motions, but barely alive. Until fate intervenes when he meets Josh. The vulnerable man triggers all kinds of protective and dominant urges in Connor, but what would a cute guy like Josh want with an inexperienced, closed-off, bossy steamroller like him?
When Connor discovers his past endangers Indy, all hope for a future between him and Josh seems lost. After all, there’s no way Josh will ever choose Connor over Indy’s safety and Noah’s lifelong friendship. When a crisis hits, can Connor prove he’s strong enough to deal with everything that’s thrown his way?
Preorder No Limits now on Amazon!
(Turn the page to read an excerpt)
Excerpt from No Limits
The house was blissfully quiet, and Josh released a slow exhale. He was curled up on the couch with a gay romance, snuggling under a velvety soft fleece blanket. December in New York, what a fucking nightmare. Wind cutting straight through your clothes to creep into your bones, snow flurries whipping around the house, with the forecast predicting more snow to come in the next few days—and winter hadn’t even started yet. Couldn’t Noah have found a hospital in, say, Florida to work at? Josh pulled the blanket up high, sighed as he dove back into his book.
The doorbell rang, and Josh almost jumped up. He took a deep, steadying breath before getting up to the hallway. He recognized him through the glass in the door, and his hand froze on the doorknob.
Connor.
The cop was not in uniform this time, but sported olive green cargo pants underneath his snow-dusted black winter jacket, a grey beanie protecting his head. Connor raised his hand in an awkward wave when he noticed Josh behind the door. What did he want now?
Josh slowly opened the door. “Officer O’Connor,” he said, his tone formal, even though his pulse was totally speeding up.
The man was so fucking gorgeous, but Josh wasn’t making a fool out of himself by assuming anything. Even if Noah and Indy were convinced the cop was gay and into him, Josh wasn’t buying it. It had been three months since the robbery. If he’d been interested in Josh, Connor would’ve stopped by sooner. Josh couldn’t blame the cop. No one would want to date a fuck-up like Josh, let alone a man as perfect as Connor.
“Call me Connor,” the cop said. “Can I come in?”
Out of habit, Josh opened the door wide and let the man step inside. With Connor’s massive body next to him, the hallway seemed small and crowded. Connor stomped his black boots to get rid of the snow, then took off his beanie and zipped his jacket open.
“How are you?” Josh asked, not quite able to keep the concern out of his voice. “Noah said you got hit by shards of concrete two months ago. Are you fully recovered?”
Connor blinked a few times. “I’m fine. They were minor cuts that healed quickly.”
“Oh,” Josh said. “That’s good. And your partner?”
Something flashed in Connor’s eyes. “Thanks to Noah, he’s alive. It’ll be a spell before he’s back on the job, but that’s not important.”
A silence followed. Josh sighed inwardly. Was he supposed to say something? God, he sucked at social interactions like this. “Erm, Noah and Indy aren’t home,” he offered. Connor thinks Indy is a woman, he reminded himself. He’d better not fuck that up.
Connor jammed his hands into his pockets. Is he nervous as well? “That’s okay. Actually, I wanted to talk to you.”
“To me?”
“Could we maybe sit down?”
The confidence the cop had displayed on the previous two meetings had vanished. It was disconcerting, somehow. What was going on? Still, Josh nodded.
Connor took his jacket off, hung it on a coat hanger. Stupid, you should have taken his jacket, Josh berated himself. He was always too slow. Connor quickly unlaced his boots, leaving them on the doormat.
Wordlessly, Josh gestured to the living room and followed Connor as he walked in. He was wearing a tight, black long sleeve that accentuated every one of his powerful muscles. Josh couldn’t deny himself a quick look at the guy’s ass. Damn, the cop was packing a perfect, firm butt in those cargo pants. Well, everything about the cop was muscular and toned. Was he really gay, or had Noah and Indy been yanking his chain?
“Can I get you something to drink?” he asked, more out of politeness than expectations. “I have home made lemonade?”
“You make your own lemonade?”
Josh shrugged. “Sure. Beats the overly sweet store-bought stuff.”
“I’d like to try it.”
Josh frowned as he poured two glasses of lemonade in the kitchen. The cop was obviously off duty, so what the hell was he doing here, and what did he want to talk to him about?
He put one glass on the coffee table, in front of O’Connor who had found a spot on the sofa. Josh sat in one of the reading chairs and waited, clutching his own glass.
“Did Noah say anything?” Connor finally asked.
“About what?”
“About me, or what he and I talked about in the hospital?”
“No. He only told me you were hurt, but that it wasn’t seriously, and that your partner needed surgery. Noah takes the privacy of his patients seriously.”
“Oh, okay.” Connor dragged a hand through his hair, avoided his look. His hair was high and tight, though a tad longer than he would have worn it as a Marine, probably. “I’d hoped he’d talked to you.”
Josh's stomach was doing twists that were acutely uncomfortable, and his palms were getting sweaty. “You wanna maybe get to the point? You’re making me nervous, and that’s not a good thing for a guy with PTSD. Spit it out.”
O’Connor looked as if he was in front of a firing squad. What the hell was bothering him? “I wanted to ask you out,” he finally managed.
Josh barely avoided dropping his glass of lemonade, instead plunked it down on the table. Good thing they had thick, solid glassware. “You want to ask me out,” he repeated stupidly.
“Yeah. Noah said it would be okay.”
“You want to ask me out,” Josh said again, his brain simply not able to come up with anything else.
Connor got up from the couch, stuffed his hands back in his pockets. “Look, I get it, okay? Apparently, your boyfriend has a nasty sense of humor. He told me you guys weren’t really together, and that he wouldn’t mind me asking you out. Joke’s on me, okay? Very funny, haha. I’ll leave now.”
Josh's brain was frozen, unable to react. Connor wants to ask me out? What the fuck? Why?
When he finally came to his senses, Connor was gone, closing the front door with an angry bang.
I’ve fucked it up. This gorgeous man apparently was interested in him, though heaven knew why, and he’d fucked it up because his brain
had been slow as shit again. And what was worse, Josh didn’t even have his number.
Josh slowly sagged backwards in the chair. Why on earth would a man like Connor be interested in him? The guy knew he had PTSD, that he was basically a fuck-up, right? And what the hell had Noah been thinking, talking about him to Connor, telling him they weren’t really together. Couldn’t he at least have given Josh a heads up?
He buried his head in his hands. He’d never find anyone. Not like Noah loved Indy. God, the two of them were amazing, if equally sickening at times. He wanted that, too.
Noah had changed—he was less angry, happier. And witnessing Indy’s transformation from a frightened, skittish guy into a more relaxed, confident person was nothing short of amazing. Josh loved Indy with all his heart—how could anyone not love this sweet man? Noah and Indy made every effort to include him, let him still sleep with them, and Noah had fucked him a few times, even after he was together with Indy. When Noah was tired, or in pain, and his control was thin, he chose Josh over Indy. Indy couldn’t handle rough sex, and Josh, well, he got off on it. Which, of course, was completely embarrassing, but between the three of them there was no judgment. They each came with emotional scars.
Josh wanted that for himself, someone he could love and who loved him. Someone who would accept him being fucked up and would be okay with it. Someone who wouldn’t judge his sexual desires…maybe even satisfy them?
He’d done some research into the whole Dom/sub thing after what Indy had said, and boy, had that blown his mind. Most of it was too kinky to even consider, or downright freaky. But some of the videos he’d watched had exhilarated him. He’d been completely turned on, had jacked himself off hard. Afterwards, he’d felt like crap, though. His chances of finding someone who would do that with him, within a loving relationship, were practically zero. How the fuck would he ever find someone, sitting at home, scared as he was of going out? And who the hell would love a damaged fuck-up like him?
Connor is interested. Was. There was no way he’d still be, not after Josh had basically ignored him. Maybe if he explained that it wasn’t intentional? But how the fuck could he manage that, if he didn’t even have his phone number?
