by Trina M. Lee
Feeling grumpy and tired, I retorted, “But I’ll be the one who’s dead.”
“Yes. You will be. Tell me, why exactly do you want that?”
“I don’t.”
He snapped, “Then grow up and take responsibility for yourself.” Immediately his anger vanished, and he dropped the wooden sword. “I’m sorry, Ember. It worries me that you’re so willing to compromise yourself. I don’t mean to be a jerk. Let’s call it quits for the day.”
I felt bad. Guilt was an emotion saved for my mother and for Cinder. It wasn’t because they forced it out of me in some unjust manner. It was because they were right, and I knew it. I was letting my guard down too much.
“Cinder, you know I don’t mean to be such a pain in the ass,” I started. “It’s hard to meet the standard you think I should be at. I’m in my twenties. I just want to have a good time before I’m old and senile.”
Arms crossed, head cocked studiously, Cinder regarded me with a strange calm. “I understand. Unfortunately, most nephilim don’t live long enough to be old and senile. You might want to think about that.” When I tried to speak, he stopped me. “I’ll talk to you soon. Have fun tonight.”
The sound of wings accompanied his departure. He left me standing there alone in the middle of the large training room. I stared at my reflection in the mirrored wall to my right. I hadn’t meant to piss him off. With an exaggerated sigh and a few choice words to my reflection, I gathered up my things and dragged the heavy bag back to the car. Maybe I could squeeze in a nap before I had to get ready for the show tonight.
* * * *
A three-hour nap and another pot of coffee later, I was starting to feel like myself again. I stood in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom, scrutinizing my outfit.
I wore a pair of ripped, skinny jeans and a sheer, black top that hung off one shoulder. My Victoria’s Secret, leopard print bra was slightly visible through the mesh, fishnet-like material. A chunky, black onyx bracelet encircled my wrist, and a spiked collar adorned my neck.
After teasing up my hair until it was wild and untamable, I made the black liner framing my eyes even thicker before selecting a deep, wine-red lipstick. Not bad for being hungover. Nobody would even notice.
I ignored my ringing phone, knowing that Jett was calling to bitch at me for not being at the venue yet. I was running on the late side and rushing to get out the door. At least if I answered while I was dragging my guitar down to the car, I could say I was on my way without lying.
The drive to The Wicked Kiss didn’t take all that long. Once I crossed the river, it was just a few minutes to the venue. Traffic was busy but manageable. I parked close to the staff door on the side of the building where the other girls were unloading our amps from the back of Tash’s mom’s minivan.
The Wicked Kiss wasn’t your typical bar. In fact, it was so far from typical that even we needed some time to get used to playing there. It was a vampire bar, which is exactly what it sounds like, a place for vampires to feed from willing victims, and there were a hell of a lot of willing victims.
The place had given me the creeps right from the start, but Jett assured us it was worth it to have a regular, paying gig. We’d become somewhat of a featured act at The Wicked Kiss due to our willingness to play surrounded by vampires. The club owner was a nice, if a little shady, vampire-werewolf hybrid who paid us well, which was what really mattered. So far, it had been good for us.
I pulled my guitar case from the backseat of the Nova and turned to go inside. When I sensed movement beside me, I turned to find a demon standing there expectantly. He was a tall, imposing figure who brought with him the stink of sulfur.
“I really don’t have time for this right now,” I said to Koda, trying to muscle by him with my guitar case.
The demon blocked my path, hands up to stop me should I try to resist. His blood-red eyes were like deep, gaping chasms. “You’re always in such a rush. Would it really hurt you to take a few minutes to chat with an old pal?”
Koda smiled as if we were friends when in fact he was nothing more than a distraction. His entire job description, as far as I was concerned, was to be a distraction. Really, it was to persuade me to join the dark. He’d come into my life around the time Cinder had. Where Cinder tried to guide and strengthen me, Koda sought to mislead and weaken me. A manipulative demon brimming with evil, Koda had made my life hell for a time, until Cinder stepped in at my request. Now Koda was limited, able to do only so much to get inside my head. It was very much like having the Freudian angel and demon on each shoulder, each of them fighting to be heard over the other.
“Koda, please. I’m late. And I’m really not in the mood to humor you today.” I sidestepped around him, but he stepped to block me. Frustrated, I counted to ten since losing it and getting mad would only encourage him.
“I just wanted to pop by, to touch base with you. It’s been a while since we’ve spoken.” He spoke in a friendly lilt, the kind of tone reserved for acquaintances when you bump into them unexpectedly.
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Aww, don’t be like that. We used to be friends.”
I gawked at him. Demons didn’t handle rejection well. I’d discovered that over the years. Their pride just couldn’t take it. “We were never friends. I am not your friend. I am your job.”
Koda had done a good job of convincing me that maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy after all. Young and stupid, I’d fallen for his tricks, his lies and half-truths as they were. Koda had a way of making the most horrific things seem perfectly acceptable. Cinder had helped me to see through his act, but having the demon constantly gunning for me was difficult. Depressing. And Cinder wonders why I drink.
“Job? You are much more than that to me. I could love you if you’d let me.”
I snorted. This was his latest thing, trying to convince me that he loved me and that, if only I joined the dark, then we could be together. Crappily ever after.
“Oh, my God, Koda that is fucking pathetic.” I enjoyed throwing the big G word around when Koda was near. Occasionally I could make him wince. “I’m not a starry-eyed fourteen year old who’s going to fall for that shit. It just makes you look like an idiot.”
Koda drew himself to his full height and glared down at me. “Well, I must say, you seem to be more suited to our side every time we speak. You’ve got a nasty mouth on you, girl.” He smoothed back his short, black hair before straightening the sleeves of his long jacket. Fussing with his appearance was one of his tells. It meant he was digging for something, trying to find a way to keep me talking.
“You’re in my way,” I said, glaring up at him. At well over six feet, he towered over me. It had once frightened me. Koda still scared me, but I’d learned how to deal with him over the years.
“Spike,” he said my name carefully, as if it were fragile. He liked to make a point of using the name that Cinder refused to use, as if that would win him some points with me. “You can’t avoid me forever.”
“I’m aware.” I readjusted the guitar case on my shoulder. “This thing is getting heavy. So move it or lose it.”
Losing his phony, friendly tone, he warned, “You don’t want to make the dark your enemy.”
“I’ve got a show to play right now, but I’ll try to keep that in mind. Feel free to come inside and enjoy the tunes if you’re so inclined. And if not, have a nice night.” I smiled as I pushed by him. This time he let me go.
Demons didn’t often enter The Wicked Kiss. When I’d asked, Cinder had told me that was because of the club’s owner. Something about her made her different from others like her. She had a link to the light that unsettled demons. And that was just fine with me.
Jett was all worked up by the time I joined her. “Where the hell have you been?” she demanded, shaking a fist at me. The silver bangles stacked on her wrist jangled threateningly.
“I got held up. Koda.” I didn’t have to say anything else. That name was enough.<
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“Oh, well I hope you told him to fuck off.”
“Yep. Like I always do.”
We got busy dragging our gear on stage. The place was starting to fill up. The Wicked Kiss had changed over the years, but the crowd was always busy and loud, just the way we liked it.
We were well received. Once we took the stage, the crowd gravitated closer, filling the dance floor in front of us. People sang along, which was a thrill that couldn’t be matched by anything else. Watching the lyrics Jett and I had written on the lips of both humans and vampires was enough to make me a little giddy.
It was no surprise when a fight broke out. I couldn’t recall a single night we’d been here without some kind of commotion. Two vampires started brawling over a human trophy. Or perhaps there was more to it.
Jett shouted at the crowd, drawing their distracted attention back to her. On her knees, with her purple hair whipping about, she soon had more eyes upon her than on the fight.
Halfway through our set, our friend, a Goth kid named Gabriel, caught my eye. I’d never seen him here before. In fact, as far as I knew, he was adamant about staying as far away from this place as possible. So what the hell was up?
My fingers flew over the frets of my guitar, the riff so deeply ingrained in me that I could have played it in my sleep. My gaze stayed on Gabriel though. Something was up with him. Something was… different.
I wasn’t close enough to get a read off him. Far from average, he always felt different than the other humans. He’d been born with abilities that some would imagine a gift though he considered his gift a curse. Not only was he magically inclined, he was precognitive as well. He could see the future of those he touched.
With long, black hair and dark eyes, Gabriel was tall and thin, a little on the lanky side. He was a hottie though. Jett had hooked up with him once, even though I’d given her a hard time about their five-year age difference.
“He’s nineteen,” she’d said. “Totally legal. Besides I think it takes more than a five-year difference to make me a cougar.”
“Definitely the wrong animal,” I’d replied.
They had never been more than a drunken hook up though, as far as I knew. Shooting a glance at Jett, she too was watching Gabriel. For a split-second, her expression held more alarm than curiosity. Then it was gone as she threw herself back into her performance.
My curiosity was piqued. By the time we finished our set and exited the stage, I was eager to speak with him.
Jett grabbed my arm before I could wade into the crowd to find him. “Spike, wait. Did you see Gabriel?”
“Yeah, I was going to go find him. He never comes in here.”
“That’s because he was never a vampire before,” she said, her eyes dangerously close to becoming wolf. She was all fired up and anxious.
I nodded slowly. “So that’s what’s different.”
“Better be careful. Don’t let him get too close. You know, just in case. I’m going to give the others a heads up.”
Tash and Rubi had taken the news about the many creatures of our city surprisingly well. It had never been an option to hide our true natures from them. Those girls were like sisters to Jett and me. Though Jett and I couldn’t share everything with them, Tash and Rubi needed to know what kind of world they were walking in.
When Jett and I had told her everything, Rubi had said, “Well, that explains everything. I always knew there was something fucked up about this city. No wonder they call it Deadmonton.”
I navigated my way through the crowd, shaking my head at more than one vampire who approached me with a hungry grin. Thankfully most of them weren’t total assholes about it, although on occasion they would get out of hand. Security at The Wicked Kiss was serious though, and they quickly dealt with those who didn’t want to play by the house rules.
I spied Gabriel speaking with the club owner near the back exit that led into the private area where vampires took their snacks. I had never been back there and fully intended to keep it that way.
I lingered near the bar where he could see me, waiting for a chance to talk to him. Whatever they were talking about, it didn’t seem to make him very happy. When he broke away from her, he was muttering beneath his breath.
“Hey,” I stepped out in front of him, forcing him to see me. “Where’ve you been? Or is the answer to that question obvious?”
Gabriel jerked to a halt. He seemed nervous, glancing about as if expecting someone to jump at him. “Spike, hey. Sorry I missed the show last night. I was busy.”
“Busy drinking blood?” I asked, unafraid to get to the point. “Is this why you’ve been so weird lately?”
“It’s part of it.” He stood at a distance, making it hard to hear him.
I noticed he was wearing leather gloves, something he did only when the precognitive stuff was driving him crazy. I wondered how vampirism affected that.
“So, what happened?” I asked.
I wasn’t afraid of Gabriel, but I was afraid of what he was. Up close I easily detected that inhuman vibe he now had. He was also insanely beautiful, the way most vampires were, with smooth, pale skin and eyes that seemed to glow with wretched hunger.
As I looked at him, I began to feel strange. I wanted to climb all over him, just to touch him and maybe even to bleed for him. It was disorienting and entirely fucked up. Some vampires had the kind of allure that would turn the most uptight of prudes into wanton sex slaves. Just one of many reasons to stay the hell away from vampires.
“It’s a long story. Let’s just say demons always get what they want. So make sure they never have a reason to want anything from you.” His dark eyes scanned my face before dropping to my neck, seeking my pulse, which lay hidden beneath my spiked collar.
“Um, do you remember my history? They already want me. So why not tell me the truth? You used to share this shit with me.” There had been a time when Gabriel confided in me about the demon he’d gotten himself involved with, but that had come to a stop. Now I saw why. He was in too deep.
“It’s too late for me, Spike. Ok? That’s all I can tell you. A demon wanted this for me. He wanted me to be hard to kill with a power boost. So here I am, with the blood of the most powerful vampire in the city running through my veins. You know how demons operate. I didn’t stand a fucking chance.” There was no anguish in his voice. He tossed his long hair out of his face and tried to stare anywhere but at my neck.
“Who is this demon, Gabriel? If you tell me his name, maybe I can help you. I could talk to Cinder—”
“No!” The word exploded out. “You have enough demon problems of your own. I can handle this.” He glanced over my shoulder, and I followed his gaze. Jett was weaving her way through the crowd toward us. “I’ve gotta go.”
“Wait.” I reached to grab his arm. When he jerked out of reach, his eyes flashed with such monstrosity that I recoiled.
“I don’t want to talk to you guys right now,” he said. “It’s not a good time for me if you catch my drift. I don’t want to hurt you. I’ll call you, ok?”
“But, but…” I fumbled for words as he tried to make a quick getaway. “I wanted to ask you about Arrow Lynch. You know him, right?”
Gabriel paused a few feet away and glanced back long enough to say, “Stay away from Arrow. In fact, stay away from the dark altogether. I mean it, Spike. Do yourself a favor. Choose the light.”
Then he was gone, a black blur moving through the busy nightclub. I stared after him, feeling cold inside.
Chapter Six
“I can’t believe he just took off like that. I mean, I know I never called him after our fling, but I didn’t think he really expected me to. What’s his fucking deal?”
I lay on the couch in our jam space, listening to Jett rant. Once she got into the booze stash in the fridge, she’d gotten all worked up over Gabriel’s hasty disappearing act.
“His fucking deal, Jett, is that he’s a vampire. A fucking vampire.” Tash’s voice was shrill, echoing
in our rented space. “Cut the guy some slack. You didn’t want him anyway.”
Jett pouted, twisting a lock of purple hair around a finger. “I know. But I wanted him to want me.” Because Jett was her own biggest fan, she launched into an acapella rendition of Cheap Trick’s `I Want You To Want Me’.
I rolled my eyes and dragged on a cigarette. It was only my third of the day because I was trying to quit. Cinder was right. I needed to take things more seriously.
After our show at The Wicked Kiss, we’d promptly headed over to the jam space to practice. We never stayed long after a show at the vampire bar. It just wasn’t our scene.
“Oh, I’m sure he does want you,” I said, remembering the way Gabriel had ogled my neck like I was food. “But I’m pretty sure it’s a lot more than a good fuck he’s after now.”
“I can’t even believe that happened to him.” Tash shook her head. “It’s so sad.”
It certainly was. Though considering that he was involved with a demon, it was nothing short of a miracle that it hadn’t been worse. I’d seen what demons could do to a person. Hell, I had my very own demon trying to do it to me.
I thought about Arrow and his friendship with Rowen. To Rowen it was a genuine thing, two guys bonding over whatever the hell guys bond over: sex, beer, video games, music. But to Arrow hanging with Rowen was a job, getting inside Rowen’s head to ensnare him for the dark. It made me feel ill to think about.
“It’s fucked up is what it is. Good ol’ Deadmonton. City of evil.” Jett tapped a finger against her mike. The sound was loud through the amps.
Rubi twirled a drumstick between her fingers. “Hey, I love this city. You two talk so much shit about it, but for us regular folk, it’s still a great place. And there’s no way this stuff only goes on here. It’s gotta be world wide.”
“Muggle,” Jett muttered.
Rubi smirked. “Bitch.”
After listening to the two of them trade insults until it was clear they had no intention of stopping, I rolled off the couch and picked up my guitar. To show off a little and to shut them up, I cranked up the volume and played the opening riff to `Sweet Child O’ Mine’.
