“No one hurt bad?” Helga asked.
“I don’t think so,” I shook my head.
We’d put sweat sheets on the horses who had lathered up and were steaming in the cool night air and luckily the boarders had all escaped with only a few minor scratches that would easily be explained away as minor pasture accidents.
“You’re not going to tell them about this?” Mickey asked.
“No,” I said. “And neither are any of you,” I pointed to Ethan and Helga and Uncle Carl. “No one is to know about this. If any of the boarders found out that their horses were running around like a freak show gone wrong, they’d yank them out of here in a heartbeat. We want Esther to have a business to come back to, remember?”
Everyone nodded and agreed that they wouldn’t speak of it, even though it felt wrong. If I was a boarder, I knew I’d want to know if my horse had been let out of his stall and had been running loose around the property but wouldn’t the boarders also prefer to still have a place to keep their horse? Most of them, like me, couldn’t afford the fancier barns like Fox Run and if Sand Hill closed, they’d be out on the street just like Bluebird and I would be.
It took ages for all the horses to finally cool down enough to eat their dinner and even then I insisted on half rations of grain with extra hay to compensate. Nobody was going to colic on my watch. The only thing I had left to do was catch Harlow.
I stood at the end of the barn, watching him. It was almost completely dark, the yellow light above the door casting a full moon on the damp grass. I could see his gray outline standing at the gate and I knew how he felt. Horses were meant to be free. We asked them to run and jump and perform fancy moves but in return it was only fair that they got to feel the sun on their back and the wind in their mane as they ran and played. He’d been deprived of that for so long but if his adventure had ruined his leg for good, what then?
“Are you ready to come in now?” I called out and this time he nickered softly.
I walked out to the field with just a rope and when I got to the gate, he didn’t take off running. Instead he sighed and let me scratch him behind the ears where I knew he liked it and then I gently looped the rope around his neck. He came back to the barn willingly.
In his stall I pulled off his sodden wraps. His legs were hot but there was no swelling, not yet anyway. It was too soon to tell if he made things worse but I took heart in the fact that he hadn’t seemed lame as I walked him back to the barn.
After he ate, I hosed his legs, applied his special liniment and rewrapped him.
“You’d better be okay,” I told him. “I’ve been working really hard on getting your leg all better and if you’ve gone and blown it by acting like a fool out there, I’m going to be really mad at you.”
He nudged my pocket, looking for treats and I patted his neck. I knew it wasn’t his fault. He’d just been acting like a horse. It was the fault of the person who’d opened the stalls and without any evidence, there was no way we were ever going to prove that Jess was behind it.
“You ready to go?” Uncle Carl asked.
He’d been an amazing help, unloading the trailer and mucking it out but now he looked tired and worried.
“Your mom is having a cow. She’s called me about five times and she wants to know why you haven’t been answering your phone.”
I felt in my pocket but it was empty, then I remembered leaving it in the bathroom that morning. One of the conditions of allowing me to show horses was that I kept in contact with her at all times but without Esther being there and having to help organize things myself, I’d completely forgotten. I was also about three hours later than I said I was going to be.
“Gotta run,” I shouted to Ethan and Mickey. “See you guys tomorrow?”
“Bye,” they waved.
Bluebird was hanging his head over the gate of his field as I ran past. I stopped to kiss his sweet, white nose.
“Thanks for being such a good boy today and winning the class,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Once upon a time I would have felt safer leaving him in a stall, if I could ever get him to go in one but today had proven that just because I thought the horses were safe, they never actually were.
“How did you get my mom to lend you her car?” I asked Uncle Carl as we got into the blue sedan.
“I didn’t,” he said.
“Oh no. You just took it? No wonder she’s so mad. Thanks a lot.”
“You said it was an emergency so I came. Don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not,” I said.
But I knew what was waiting for me at home and I wasn’t looking forward to going back there. Mom still hadn’t really warmed up to the whole horse thing or the Uncle Carl thing either. The only things she cared about now were Derek and the stupid wedding. She should have been happy. She’d just had a whole day with both of us out of her hair but when I saw her face, I knew she was anything but happy. She was standing on the front porch with her arms crossed, Derek hovering about behind her like a deranged dragonfly.
“You both have some explaining to do,” she snapped.
“Can we at least do it inside?” Uncle Carl asked. “Or do we have to air our dirty laundry out in the street for everyone to hear?”
Mom didn’t answer but she stepped aside to let us in. I was suddenly really grateful that Uncle Carl was there.
It went down in the kitchen. The usual family row about how horses were making me irresponsible and how dangerous they were and really I should have nothing to do with them.
“I don’t know why I ever agreed to let you ride again in the first place,” she said.
“Because she’s good, Lilly,” Uncle Carl told my mom. “Really good. She won her class today, she qualified for that big cup. Why don’t you come and watch? You need to see how great she is.”
“I’ve already seen enough,” Mom said and a little piece of my heart died.
Other kids had parents who drove them to gymnastics and ice skating and volleyball games. They had parents who pushed them to compete in sports even when they didn’t really want to. It was sort of ironic that I was one hundred percent dedicated to the equestrian sport and I was actually kind of good some of the time and yet all my mother really wanted me to do was quit.
“You didn’t take your phone. You didn’t call me to let me know how you were doing. How can I even trust you anymore?” she cried.
“I was with Uncle Carl,” I shouted back.
“That doesn’t mean anything,” she crossed her arms. “Uncle Carl is irresponsible. He’s like a big child himself and it’s time that he leaves and goes back to wherever it is that he calls home.”
“No,” I sobbed.
Uncle Carl was the only person in the house who understood me. Deep down, I knew that he couldn’t sleep on our couch forever but sending him away now was like taking away my lifeline.
“Fine,” Uncle Carl said.
He picked up his bags, kissed me on the forehead and before I could think up a reason for him to stay, he had gone.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“I hate my mom,” I said.
It was Sunday morning and I’d arrived at the barn early, worried about the horses after their adventures the night before. Mickey obviously had the same thought as her mom was just dropping her off as I rode my bicycle down the drive.
“I know,” Mickey said. “But you’ll love her again tomorrow. That’s how mother, daughter relationships are.”
“No, I won’t,” I said.
“What did she do this time?”
“She sent Uncle Carl away.”
I stopped at Bluebird’s gate and called him to come for breakfast.
“Why did she do that?” Mickey asked, leaning on the fence.
“Because he supports my riding and she doesn’t.”
“That’s so mean,” Mickey said.
“That’s my mom,” I said.
Bluebird came for his grain, looking tired and cold. There wa
s a chill in the air this morning. A weak front had blown through and the sky was a crisp, clear blue. In another week it was supposed to dip down to freezing. For a Florida horse, that was cold. I thought it was pretty cold too and I wasn’t looking forward to it.
“This weather good, yes?” Helga said, adjusting her hot pink t-shirt as we walked into the barn.
“No,” I shook my head but Mickey just laughed at me, shivering in my sweater. She liked the cold weather too.
“I check on horses last night. They all fine,” Helga said.
“Thanks,” I smiled.
Between worrying about the horses and Uncle Carl leaving, I hadn’t got much sleep and when I did I had horrible dreams. Bluebird running down the road, his lead rope tangled round his legs. Harlow jumping out of his paddock and landing wrong on his leg, crumbling to the ground as his suspensory gave way. It had been a relief when it was finally time to get up and go to the barn and I’d managed to sneak out before my mother or Derek had woken up.
“But,” Helga said, looking sad. “I only here one week extra.”
“What?” Mickey and I yelped.
“I go home soon,” she said.
“Go home? But you can’t. We need you,” I said.
“Does that mean Esther is coming back?” Mickey asked hopefully.
“I no hear from poor Esther,” Helga said.
As we stood there in the barn amid muck tubs and pitchforks, I felt the bottom of my world drop out. Helga may have been unorthodox in her hot pants and cowboy boots but she helped us all improve our riding and she’d been a sort of security blanket in case anything bad happened. Now we were supposed to take care of everything on our own?
“Esther said when you finish school, I go back.”
“No,” Mickey shook her head. “You have to stay.”
“I wish it possible,” Helga said. “But impossible.”
“What are we going to do?” Mickey asked as Helga went into the office. “How can she do this to us?”
“I don’t think she wants to leave,” I said. “But it looks like she has to and we’re going to have to get on with it and take care of things until Esther comes back.”
“I don’t think she’s ever coming back,” Mickey sighed, throwing herself down on a horse blanket.
“Of course she is,” I said but I was beginning to feel the same way.
“What happens when the money runs out? When we can’t figure out how to pay the feed bill or the farrier because we don’t have access to her accounts? What happens then?”
“We don’t know that any of this is going to happen,” I said. “Who knows, maybe Esther will come back tomorrow.”
“Maybe,” she said but she didn’t sound like she meant it and neither did I.
We hadn’t had a phone call or an email from Esther since she’d been gone. It was like she just left and had no intention of coming back. But either way, with Helga leaving in a week, we sure were being thrown in the deep end and the last week went by in a blur.
School was an endless rotation of end of year exams and projects to finish. I studied as hard as I could because bad grades would just be another reason for Mom to forbid me from going to the barn ever again. As it was she seemed somewhat happier now that Uncle Carl had gone, even though she was the one who invited him in the first place.
Every afternoon we rode over new courses that Helga put together for us. Her crazy twists and turns didn’t seem so strange anymore. In fact, I had a sneaking suspicion that when Esther came back we’d be ready for anything she threw at us. If she ever came back.
“You guys so good now,” she cried as we all went clear over her latest creation.
“I think I’m going to miss her,” Ethan whispered as he patted Wendell’s neck.
“Me too,” Mickey said.
“We should do something nice for her, buy her a present or something,” I said. “To say thank you.”
“That’s a great idea,” Mickey cried. “But what should we get her?”
“I don’t know,” I fiddled with the buckle on Bluebird’s reins. “But my mom is dragging me out shopping later for wedding junk so maybe I’ll see something then.”
We pooled what little money we had. It came to fifteen dollars and eleven cents.
“What are we going to get with that?” Ethan said.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I’m having enough problems trying to figure out how I’m going to get through this shopping trip in the first place. At least looking for something for Helga will keep my mind off the wedding of doom.”
“Still no luck getting them to split up?” Mickey asked as we walked back to the barn, legs hanging loose by our horse’s sides.
“No,” I sulked. “I haven’t exactly had the time since Esther left and to be honest, with Uncle Carl gone it’s like they’re more in love than ever. It’s disgusting. I spend as much time as I can in my room.”
“What’s wrong with your mom being happy?” Ethan asked.
“Because Derek is a scumbag and I don’t trust him,” I said. “And she’s not happy, she just thinks she is.”
“But how do you know?” he asked.
“Because I do,” I said, pushing Bluebird past Wendell.
“Boys,” Mickey said. “What do they know about love anyway?”
But I didn’t really know that much about love myself. What if Mom and Derek were really head over heels for each other and I just couldn’t see it? Still, if that was what love looked like, then I was having no part of it.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“Do you like this one or do you like this one?”
Mom held up two dresses that were both an ugly shade of purple, which was totally weird because purple was one of my favorite colors but both these dresses were not. One looked radioactive, the other was almost a muddy brown.
“For what?” I asked.
“For you. For the bridesmaids,” she laid the dresses down and stepped back for a better look.
“What bridesmaids?” I said. “There is only me. Can’t I be a maid of horror or something and then we can forget about all these ugly dresses?”
“Emily,” Mom warned in her stern voice. “We made a deal, remember? If you’re a good sport about this wedding then you will be allowed to continue to ride. If not? Then we’re going to have to have some serious discussions.”
“But Mom,” I said, flopping down onto a seat piled with dresses. “Why him?”
“Because I love him,” she said, sitting down next to me.
“Do you really?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“But why?”
“What do you mean why?” she raised an eyebrow. “I just do.”
“But what is it that you like about him because I’m not trying to be mean or anything but I can’t see anything nice about him at all and he’s the complete opposite of Dad.”
“Is that what this is about?” Mom said softly. “Emily, Derek is not trying to replace your father but he does want to help take care of us. You should give him a chance.”
“I don’t like him,” I mumbled.
“I know,” she said. “And I know this has been hard on you and I’m sorry. But you’re not going to like any man I fall in love with. It can’t just be the two of us forever.”
But I didn’t see why not. We had a good thing going. We didn’t need stupid Derek with his stupid cars and calculators.
“I guess I like that one,” I pointed to the muddy brown purple dress.
“Good,” Mom smiled. “Me too. Let’s see it on you.”
I spent thirty minutes parading the dress up and down and was even forced to try on the other horrible florescent one. In the end Mom decided that she didn’t like either of them.
“Let’s go to the other shop,” she said.
“Fine,” I said.
The other shop was just as bad, filled with horrible dresses that I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing and yet somehow found myself shoved and prodded into. I hadn’
t even seen my mother’s wedding dress yet. I assumed she’d already purchased that monstrosity without me.
But the evening wasn’t a complete waste. As we stood at the counter I spotted a piece of hot pink fabric and as I pulled it out, I knew it was the perfect gift for Helga. A hot pink hairband with a lime green lotus flower stuck on one side.
“You don’t like these dresses but you like that?” Mom shook her head as I put it on the counter to pay.
“Ewwww gross, no,” I said. “It’s not for me. It’s for a friend at the barn.”
Mom didn’t know that Esther had gone and she also didn’t know that Helga was about to leave too and I needed to make sure that she didn’t find out. Doing barn chores and riding unsupervised was not something that she would be okay with.
“Do you have this dress in larger sizes too?” Mom asked the lady behind the counter.
“Why?” I said. “Do you think I’m suddenly going to put on a whole bunch of weight or something?”
Though it probably wouldn’t have been a stretch to think that. What with all the pressure I’d been under lately I had eaten a whole box of cookies in the car, which was probably what my mom was worried about but as it turned out it wasn’t. It was something worse.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“He has a what?” Mickey choked on her soda when I told her.
“A daughter. She’s fifteen and her name is Catherine,” I said. “She lives with her mother in Georgia.”
“So you’re getting a sister?”
“Step sister,” I said. “And she won’t be living with us so it’s not like I’m going to see her all the time.”
“That’s what you think,” Mickey said. “Remember when you threatened to go and live with your dad? What if this Catherine does the same thing? Maybe she’ll think Florida is a better place to hang out than Georgia and we do live right next to the beach.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I know.”
“Well you don’t exactly seem very upset about it,” Mickey said. “Usually you’d be totally freaking out about something like this.”
Winter Blues (Show Jumping Dreams ~ Book 3) Page 7
