by Jayton Young
“No, Marti. I wanted to come here. If I had been here…”
‘No! That happened because I was stupid!’ I signed with rapid, jagged movements to emphasize I meant it. ‘Don’t you dare play the ‘what if’ game. No one is to blame except for me and that phycho. I knew better than to…’ I couldn’t finish. I couldn’t think about it anymore or I’d break down again, so I turned and started put ting the groceries up. Jordan helped me, knowing me well enough to drop it, and then he fixed drinks while I fixed us each a bowl.
“Did you make good progress on your book today?”
‘No. I only got one chapter done and didn’t even get to the editing of that .’ I usually edited as I went along since I was my own editor for this first book. I had decided to publish it as an e-book if I couldn’t get a publisher interested. That way I could establish myself as an author and it would be easier to gain the attention of the publishers if my name was already out there.
“What happened? You usually get more than that done. You had all day.”
‘I fell asleep.’ I knew I didn’t have to explain beyond that. He knew about my nightmares and virtual fear of sleep because of it.
“Oh. Hey! Did James call you?” He asked. I knew he was trying to change the subject and get my mind off the topic.
Just then the phone rang. “Get that. It must be him calling now.”
I have a phone with a keyboard attached so I could type what I wanted to say. I looked at the caller ID and sure enough it was James.
I picked it up and typed ‘Hello ’.
“Hey Sissy! Has Jordan told you my good news yet?” His voice was deep, but it was as bubbly as ever. He always was hyped up and chipper. Not much could ever get him down.
‘Yep. He told me at breakfast, so what took y ou so long to call and tell me ?’
He waited for me to type and for the voice machine to talk. It was kind of a slow process to have a phone conversation, but he and Jordan never had a problem waiting. They were happy to have a way to talk to me when they weren’t there.
“Sorry, please don’t be mad, but I was just getting everything ready for the move. I even found rental space in Fort Mill to use as an office, AND I already have a job offer to design the new Town Hall there, SOOO I’ll be there tomorrow if that’s ok ay .” He said. I could tell how excited he was.
‘Of course it’s okay ! I can’t wait for you to get here. I’ve missed you so much .’ I typed. ‘And you need to go ahead and bring Shelby, too. She can live here with you until you build your own house.’
“No. Shelby’s just going to visit on weekends. She still has one semester left before she can transfer here to do her internship at the hospital in Rock Hill.”
‘I just want you to let her know that she is welcome here. Tell her I can’t wait until she is finally my sister.’
“I’ll tell her. I’ll see you tomorrow, Sissy. I love you.”
‘Love you, too. Bye.’
“Bye.” He said before he hung up.
Jordan had been opening the mail while I’d been talking to James. He turned to me with a letter in his hand.
“Guess who is coming home.” He said with a smile. “This is from Toby. They are finally bringing the troops home. He said once they get stateside , him and Troy will b e moving to reserve status. Tor y is being honorably discharged. He won’t have to serve anymore after all of his injuries.”
‘What injuries?’ I asked. I never opened the mail, so Jordan always read the letters from the trips first. I had never read one saying anything about one of them being hurt.
“Oh, daggumit! I wasn’t supposed to tell you. They knew you’d be upset.” He said. I could tell he was upset with himself for letting it slip. “Before you get mad at them, remember what you are keeping from them. Every time they have been able to call, I’ve covered for you. None of you can get mad at the others.”
‘I know. You’re right.’
I was feeling so many things at the moment. Ecstatic, impatient, sad, scared. Things had changed, but I still loved my boys. They were finally coming home to me, and even I didn’t know how I’d react. I was happy they were coming, but would I be able to be around them? For a year and a half I have panicked if anyone came near me other than my brothers. Would I be able to handle the trips?
Chapter 2
I was looking at myself in the mirror, trying to see myself as others saw me. My brothers had told me after everything happened, that I was still beautiful, but I had never been beautiful. I had always just been average. I have a good complexion , though I have a scar from my right ear to the right corner of my mouth that mars it . My skin color matches that of my brothers, a caramel color because of our mixed race. Daddy was black and Mommy was white. Our Mommy used to get complimented about her beautiful children wherever we would go. Looking back into the mirror, I looked at my hazel eyes. They seemed dull to me. You used to be able to see the sparkle in my eyes, be able to tell how I was feeling. Maybe that was why they were dull. I just felt numb most of the time. I didn’t take time with my hair anymore . I would just put the moisturizer in it, and then put it in a pony tail. I was 5’6 and not fat, but not thin either. I was thick, with curves. At least that was the way I looked at it.
I wondered, not having seen the trips in two years, would they like the way I look now? Nah, I had too many scars. Unless I wore a body suit with a mask, gloves, and shoes. But it was too hot right now to get by with that.
I got dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a purple tank top and slid on my purple flops. I was going to spend the day at the creek writing since Jordan had fixed my laptop last week.
I had spent the weekend with James catching up on all the happenings with him, but he was going to start working in his office today. I really wished he would turn one of the other rooms into an office for himself, but he said clients needed to be able to have easy access to him, and we lived kind of far out of town.
“Hey, Sissy! Will you please come with me today?” James said coming into the bathroom behind me. “I’ll even set you up with an office in the back so you won’t be out in the open when people come in.”
I shook my head. ‘I don’t even go to town anymore. I can’t be o ut in the open. You know that.’
“Cooommmme oonnnnn.” He w h ined while bouncing up and down. “Pleeeeeaaasssee!”
‘You sound like a five year old.’ I signed, laughing silently.
“Well, we’ve had such a good time this weekend; I don’t want it to be over . Plus, we used to plan this business together. I would design all the cool buildings, and you would take care of the business. You would be both Jordan’s and my business manager. That way we all would always be together.”
‘I know that, but you also know things changed. I never even finished getting my degree. How could I be the manager now?’
James got a sad look in his eyes. “I know that things changed. Things happen sometimes, but you can’t shut yourself away for the rest of your life. Let me and Jordan be your crutch . We’re worried about you.”
‘I can deal with this on my own .’ I lied. ‘I’m n ot going to bring you two down.’
“You’re not bringing us down, Marti . We are trying to hold you up.” He said quietly. “Please just try for me. Just today, and if you can’t handle it, I won’t ask again.”
I sighed. ‘Alright.’ I knew James really wanted me to go, and I just couldn’t tell him no . ‘I’ll go make our breakfast, and then w e can go. I will honestly try.’
“Yay!” He immediately started bouncing again with a huge smile on his face. “Can you fix me waffles?”
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As we rode through town in James’ Ford F-150, I kept my head down and read a book so I wouldn’t be able to see anyone we passed, and I could take my mind off it for a bit. It didn’t work though. I started sweating and hyperventilating.
“Come on, Sissy. We’re almost there. You’ve done rea
l good, you can make it.” He said as he grabbed my hand and squeezed.
We finally reached his new office not long after that, and I made a bee-line for the door because there were people walking down Main Street. I knew people would be curious and nosey as to who the people are that moving onto the Main Street strip. I know that most people either know us or at least know of us. I didn’t want anyone coming up to me. James could deal with all that.
I unlocked the door with the key James gave me and walked in. It was an amazing office. It was an open floor design that had pedestals with models of some of James’ building designs, and there was a huge reception desk in the middle. Along the back wall were a bathroom, a water cooler, and a glass enclosed office with James’ name on a name plate on the door . It looked like it was made of gold. In that office there was a mahogany desk, a chair, and a drafting table. On the left wall of the main space was an office that only had a window to be able to look out to the back of the building to where the town park was. If the door was closed, there was no window to be able to look in. I noticed that on this door was a gold nameplate with my name on it. He had already planned on me coming with him. I could tell how much he really wanted this. I would do my best for him.
The day was spent organizing the little things, and I went over the books that he had kept from when he was in New York. He had moved there after he had graduated college, and had done very well for himself. Even if his company took a while to get established here, it would still be in the black from all the business he had done while up north.
People had come in throughout the day to welcome James. They all had asked about me, but I wouldn’t come out of my office. When every thing happened a little over a year ago, it had made national news and was a big story, so of course a small town like Fort Mill would still be talking about it. James never gave any details. He just told them that I had recovered and that I was up and around. I had spent a month in the hospital, and then a mon th of in bed rehab at home. After that, it took six months of home physical therapy for me to finally be on my own two feet.
Toby, Tory, and Troy all wrote about once a month, but I had asked my brothers not to tell them what happened. Whenever they came home on leave, Jordan would make up some excuse as to why I wasn’t around. I didn’t want them to see me as I was. I was ashamed, and also the fact that I knew they’d have to go back. I didn’t want them to worry about me and then get injured because their mind wasn’t where it was supposed to be. They were all Spec Ops for different branches of the military. Toby was an Army Ranger specializing in communication , Tory was a Navy Seal specializing in technology , and Troy was in the Green Berets as a computer specialist . He and Jordan both had always been good at anything having to do with computers, so it made since that they would both get a degree in computer technology. I was very proud of them. They each had made it through the intensive training on their own. They ha d also each gotten a degree in their specialty so that benefited their group.
They would each come home at different times next week.
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The rest of the week went like that, but the well wishers and visi tors dwindled in numbers to where, on Friday, only the Mayor and a special committee for the town hall rebuild were the only ones to come in.
It was Saturday morning and Shelby had come down for the weekend. I was fi xing breakfast for us and James - Jordan had gone to Georgia on business for the weekend - and we were trying to decide what to do for the day.
“I’ve never been to Carowinds before. Can we go there?” Shelby asked. She was a very sweet, very petite, blond . She had the same color of hazel eyes as me.
“Not today, honey,” James answered. “Jordan’s not home and I don’t want to leave Sissy here by herself all day.”
That made me angry. I was older than him and he acted like he had to babysit me. I was twenty-five years old for goodness sake! I could take care of myself. Before I could retort, Shelby spoke back up.
“I was talking about all of us. I would never leave her out, she’s like the sister I never had.” She said.
That was so sweet. I felt the same way towards her. We talked on the phone every other day almost. Not to mention the times she came with James for visits. We had gotten real close .
“Sorry sweet.” James answered. “I thought I had told you when you asked why she never came to visit us. Marti suffers agoraphobia. She had a fear of people and crowds. That’s why she never goes anywhere unless she’s with me or Jordan, and only if it’s a place to where she won’t be around anyone else.”
She looked at me. “I’m so sorry, Marti! I didn’t know. We can do something around here.”
I was using my voice keyboard to be in the conversation since Shelby wasn’t proficient in ASL yet. ‘No. Why don’t you and James go to Carowinds. I’ll stay here and write some more on my book. James acts like I need supervision. I can be and have be en on my own. I won’t hurt me.’
“I’m sorry, Sissy. I don’t mean it like that. I just worry that something will happen, and I won’t be around to help . Like last time. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
I flinched when he said that, but I couldn’t let him blame himself . ‘That was not your fault. That was me making stupid decisions, and trusting someone I didn’t know. It would have happened even if you two were here. I can’t stand that y’all blame yourselves.’ I gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Just then Jordan walked in. I got up, ran to him and threw myself in his arms for one of his bear hugs.
“Man,” He laughed. “Somebody would think I’d been gone for a week instead of just one night.”
I backed up so I could sign to him. ‘What hap pened? Why are you home early?’
“My Mustang broke down. I had to call a tow truck, so I rescheduled my appointment and rented a car to come home.”
‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you, but I’m glad you’re home.’ I told him. ‘I have an idea. Why don’t we go outsi de and play two on two soccer?’
“Sounds great!” James said, then turned to tell Shelby wha t I had suggested.
“I haven’t played since middle school, but I used to be pretty good . We could do boys versus girls. I bet Marti and me would kick your butts.” She s aid getting excited.
We played three games, always switching the players around, and had a lot of fun. At lunchtime we went in and ate som e deli sandwiches I had fixed up.
‘Why don’t y’all go to Carowinds now?’ I said to James . ‘Jordan can tell you that he’s left me before, and I’ll be alrigh t. I’ll stay around the house.’
“What’s goin’ on bro?” Jordan asked.
“I just didn’t want to leave Sissy here by herself. In case something happens .”
“Look, Marti can take care of herself. She stays here by herself all the time as I have to leave for appointments.” Jordan grabbed the wrist that had my bracelet on it to show James. “I made this for her. It’s along the lines of the Life Alert system. All she has to do is press the pendant.” He said as he pressed it. As soon as he did, his bracelet started beeping like a pager. He pushed a gold plate on his bracelet to make the beeping stop. “It lets me know she’s in trouble, and I get to her as fast as I can.”
James and Shelby had been watching everything when Shelby finally spoke up.
“That’s really cool, but how do you know where to find her? You can’t hear her if she screams.”
Jordan took out his Droid Razor phone and clicked on an icon with my name on it. “This is basically a GPS that is tuned into her bracelet for me to be able to find her. If she is taken again,” I flinched as he said that. “Or if she loses the bracelet somehow, I have implanted a chip in the back of her neck that has the same frequency, so we will still be able to find her.”
James shot out of his seat. “YOU CHIPPED HER LIKE A DOG?!!!” He yelled.
I stood up and went to him. ‘I volunteered
when he asked me. I w ould rather be safe than sorry.’ I signed, and he started to calm down. I had tears in my eyes because I was thinking of what had happened to me. ‘If I had had this when he got me, h e wouldn’t have been able to take me where nobody could find me, and he wouldn’t have been able to…..do the things he did for two weeks. I can’t live through that again. But I won’t completely give up my life waiti ng for him to come back either.’
“What do you mean waiting for him to come back?” James said.
I hadn’t meant to let that slip. I looked at Jordan. He just shrugged his shoulders. He had told me to tell James about th e e-mails and letters. I looked back at James and s aw him looking between me and Jordan.
‘Don’t be mad at J. He told me to tell you, but I didn’t want you to worry more than you already were.’ I told him.
“What has happened?”
‘He started sending me e-mails and letters saying he missed me and was going to come for me. That was when I changed my e-mail account. We don’t think he knows where I live, s ince our mail goes to a PO Box .’
James turned to ask Jordan if he’d gone to the police.
“I took all the letters there, but they haven’t found anything. No fingerprints and they have a different post mark each time.”
“This is why we shouldn’t leave her on her own, Jordan.” James said.
“She is an adult. Are you going to take all her freedom away? She can make her own decisions.”
They went back and forth. Shelby just looked at me with sympathy. I took the keyboard, turned it to loud and typed.
‘SHE IS RIGHT HERE!!!’ It yelled.
The boys both turned my way and muttered “Sorry”, and Shelby snickered at how much they sounded like little boys.
I had been using my sign language to talk, but after remembering Shelby, I used the keyboard.
‘I can make decisions for myself, and , even with no voice, I can speak for myself. From now on, James, I’ll always let you know what is going on. But I won’t let you run my life. It’s working right now. I have a routine that I stick to that now includes working with you. I love both of you, but let’s just act like this conversation never happened, and go back to the way it was before.’
