So, meantime, one of the lovely auxiliaries, Margaret, went and brought us all some teas, and whilst mum was talking to Margaret I tried to find my phone, because I realised that I had forgotten to ask Marie, in all the palaver, to get me the most important things, which was WRITING PAPER AND PENS!! Bless her… I sent a txt and hoped for the best. Oh by the way, according to most of the staff, the equipment in here is not affected by mobile phones, (I was told that off the record BUT I did tell the nurse that most of the young student doctors use theirs when in the posse anyway!) I still prefer though to make phone calls and send txt, normally from under the covers… just in case… I don’t really want to be responsible for anyone of the guys’ deaths in here! Well, that means if they ain’t dead already… It’s hard to tell in my ward!!
Well, Margaret that is on today, I call Holy Margaret, because she is a ‘saint’, and is always telling me she thinks of me in her prayers. She is just one of those lovely kind women, who is a good dedicated worker and she enjoys it, and because she isn’t quite at retiring age she enjoys a job, that she finds fulfilling, and she has got more energy than some 20 yr olds. She always makes a fuss of my family when they come in and she enjoys the banter. Well, changing the subject… just about three quarters of an hour later, Marie appeared back, thankfully with a smile on her face, or was it a grimace, whatever, she was back anyway. She had brought back a set of cowboy-type shirts, and a set of long t-shirt nighties… well, it was certainly an improvement on the first attempt, and then she pulled out 3 bottles of the KICK drink; she hadn’t got the ‘diet’, but I thought it best to say nothing?? She had also bought me a couple of jotters for my writing and a couple of bic pens… . AND then, she remembered, millionaire shortbread was my favourite, and they had been selling it in a whole tray, so she bought it ALL, and told me I could share it with the other patients in my ward… yeah, ok, that WOULD be a miracle; 3 of the 5 of us in the ward, couldn’t even open their mouths, let alone chew and swallow! Duncan would certainly more than make up for the other three. Actually, Duncan was talking to mum for a long time today on this visit, and I have noticed that he is getting to know the family better, and he likes Tony, and Tony asks ‘after’ him, when he’s on the phone as well. We ended having a lovely visit, and I was grateful to Marie for having the patience to deal with my rant, and for even going, back to the supermarket!! Then, Casey’s timing was perfect, she phoned on the main phone and was able to speak to mum and Marie. So, I spoke to Casey as well, and said goodnight, and thanked her for doing the crissy cards and said for her to call me tomorrow morning if she wanted to. It was sad to see mum and Marie go. I love them so much, and I am really close to Marie, and sometimes I think I take advantage of her good nature, like I did today!
So, after they left, I was actually very very sore and my spasms were bad, the spasms have been getting a lot worse lately, and the docs think it could just be because of the lack of exercise? Well, the sooner I get into this sodden chair the better. Oh god, what’s on the box tonight? I think it’s something stupid like Pop Idol, so lets see what ‘wannabes’ they will be taking the piss out of tonight!! OK, time to take pen from paper because even my hand is getting sore, so gorra gorra go cilla… au revoir, and bon nuit mon amies xxxxxxx n.b. one of the patients in here tonight, Graham, actually croaked and croaked, for a while and then started to put words together, so it looks like he is starting to pull through… let’s hope he has a good night and gets his voice back soon. bless!
Sunday 7th December
This place is bloody mad because it’s a Sunday, and there is no gym so we are normally allowed a lie-in, and sometimes get a bacon or sausage sandwich… I didn’t realise that till about 1 week ago that you could even get a bacon buttie at the weekend, since I’m normally having a lie-in, and let’s face it, it’s not as if there are many other patients in my ward that could recommend breakfast. Funnily enough, they don’t DO breakfast. Forgetting the breakfast, they annoyingly decided that they would try and get as much disinfecting done as possible, so by ten o’clock, I was washed and on the prone trolley, and me and Duncan were moved into the dayroom. They were starting to take the curtains and blinds down before we were leaving, and it was so apparent that there were some nurses who obviously had no interest in helping, with the exception of a few, but it makes my blood boil when the so-called student nurses think that cleaning is considered a domestic duty and beneath them and therefore out of their remit. I cannot stand these jumped-up-wannabes. So, me and Dunc, vacated to the day room, where one of the lovely dinner ladies got us some coffee and biscuits. Duncan had been hoisted into his chair, so at least the dayroom wasn’t full of beds, and the four patients in our ward were taken to another empty ward. But Duncan was telling me that Graham, the one who was croaking something last night, was talking that morning… yee ha… someone else for Duncan to ‘bump-his-gums-off’ at! What’s betting Graham is a male-chauvinistic, self-opinionated, arrogant man, like Duncan… actually, that’s not fair to Duncan… because he is also SO lovable, and I DO love him!
Well, first of all I saw my sister Roselyn appear into the dayroom, and then Donie, and then 2 of her sons, Ranald and Harris… how great, she had mentioned that she might be through at some stage, but I had forgotten it was today. Cue, more coffees please… Donie had to meet someone in Glasgow, so he went off (he told me when he got back that he had to make an excuse to go out and buy Roselyn’s chrissie pressie), so Roselyn and myself and Duncan were having a good old chin-wag, when Duncan’s family appeared as well, it was such a nice feeling, it was as if we were waiting specially in there for the respective visiting families. What a lovely time it was. Roselyn has as lovely personality, she is so amiable, she gets on with everyone and has a lovely nature, and before you knew it we had all merged into one large happy family, (feels like the bloody Waltons), Ruby had come through with Nick and Katy… it was nice to see Nick, because since the accident he has found it difficult to come and visit his dad, because he feels partly responsible for the accident, as it was him who asked his dad to drive him to work because he was hung over! What a shame.
THEN, it was as if all my Christmases had come at once, because my best mate Karen and her hubby Donald, who had been at a wedding in Glasgow on the Saturday, stopped into see me on their way back to Inverness, to drop off the Christmas presents for my family, and to see me, of course (Barry’s included in those pressies cause Barry and Karen always got on and still do), so it was absolutely the icing on the cake to see them. So, our families were virtually taking over the dayroom, but it was great fun and even though I was on the prone trolley, I was still able to pull myself up into a press up position, and putting cushions on my elbows. What an afternoon we all had, it was amazing, especially to have a nice chrismassy feel which I hadn’t expected that I would witness, stuck in hospital.
Well, it was about 4 when they told us that the ward was fully disinfected and we would be able to go back in… Duncan’s wife was worried that any of the industrial cleaning material that had been used may be quite strong and get into Duncan’s chest, but she was reassured by the staff nurse that there were no dangers of exposure to any of the chemicals. Donie arrived back from his ‘shopping trip’ and gave me the thumbs up for Roselyn’s pressie, just as Karen and Donald said were about to leave to get home as quickly as possible, because both of them were rather hungover from the wedding reception the night before. It was really sad to say cheerio to them all. Ruby stayed for a while to wait and see Duncan settled in the ward. Roselyn and Donie were staying at their timeshare at Cameron House, so they said they would try and get in during the week. I knew I would see Karen after the New Year. She is the best, best friend and no matter wherever either of us is, the other always knows. I love my mate to bits and she’s godmother to Mitch as well. So, after all that it was a bit of an anti-climax. I had been on the prone trolley for about over 3 hours, and all the activity had actually taken my mind off all the pain, but
what I didn’t feel in the afternoon, my body made up for in the evening. Actually, the one thing I felt though was very very tired. The whole afternoon had left me quite weak and sore, and I was actually looking forward to getting into my bed, and I think that was a first! My mum and Casey phoned at night, so I gave them all the news of the day, and they were happy to know that the day was enjoyable (for a change)! What a damp squid I am!!
Still hyper, when I got into bed I asked for the payphone, and what I’m about to tell you—you are going to think I’m mad… .
Well, when I was sorting things out earlier in my locker, I came across an old address book, and happened to find in with all my other contacts Pete’s (the beater), mums address and phone number. I remember thinking what a lovely person his mum was, when she had made me feel so welcome one New Years when we went to spend it with them. In some ways, I could see why Pete was the way he was… his father was cold, hostile and totally unloving to his only son. It started to add up; he grew up in this family that had a history of being in the military, and he had to live up to his dad’s expectations, whose career in the army only left him with a permanent injury and he was now living off his MOD pension. He was a cold, selfish, arrogant man. Of course he was nice enough to me, as I was a guest, but it was just the whole set up of his parent’s household that was weird… the father had his own bedroom and only went into his wife’s (Ros) room when he ‘wanted it’. She played the role of wife, hostess, domestic, cook, cleaner, washer and general dogs-body, and then to add to the list ‘easy-lay’ . . . he was a disgusting man, and almost had me feeling sorry for Pete… in fact, I did feel sorry for Pete, to my horror, because I never thought I would ever be saying that about him, after what he had done to me in the last year of our relationship, (another book?!).
Anyway, it was Ros that I thought I would phone, because I had erased Pete’s number from my mobile after the last time I saw him in Plymund. Well, I had decided that if I didn’t get any response the first time, I would probably just leave it… . mmh, well, it rang for a while and then it was picked up… to be honest, if it had been the father I would have put the phone down on that lout! Anyway Ros picked the phone up and was most surprised to hear my voice, but seemed really pleased… so we chatted for a while and then I told her about the accident and she was genuinely upset for me… so, the conversation went on to Pete from that, and she asked me if he knew, because he hadn’t said anything to her. I told her I had lost his number and she didn’t volunteer Pete’s number, but did say if she heard from him would it be ok to give him my number? I said yes and left it at that, and we said our goodbyes.
Well, it couldn’t have been more than five minutes later, I got a call at the ward and the nurse that brought the phone said it was a friend of mine, Pete… oh Jesus, he didn’t waste any time… what had I done!? . . . . take the phone, talk, stay calm, and act unflustered… fuck sake, it’s only PETE. So, he sounded really happy to hear my voice, and asked me why I hadn’t phoned him before and I explained I lost his number, deliberately threw it away more like. He was all apologies for the accident and kept saying things like, why hadn’t he been there to protect me; why hadn’t he taken me back home with him; and if we had stayed together and not argued in Plymund (what he meant was, if he hadn’t tried to have sex with every girl, especially my best mate, in the rehab, we wouldn’t have argued in Plymund, more like)??? I didn’t really want to go into too many details, and just told him that I had been a diving accident on a bank holiday when I was still in Plymund but was now in Glasgow, so thought it would be a nice gesture to say hello to his mum, seeing as she was only in Irvine, which was about an hour drive from the hospital. Anyway, he dropped a clanger that he got MARRIED ON 1 NOV, this year!! AND HE HAD A BABY son called LI because that was the Chinese name of his wife; MY GOD, the irony; HE who would never marry anyone but a SCOTTISH girl; had actually married a CHINESE girl and now had a Chinese Scottish baby!! THEN, he started to profess his love for me, and said that it was just a ‘marriage of convenience’, to get the girl a Chinese passport, in exchange for the ‘baby he always wanted’! I honestly didn’t know what to say, Pete dropped some clangers before but this took the biscuit!!
When we had been together, before the violence had started, he was always telling me he wanted a baby, but I was 38, and didn’t want anymore children (I had two I already loved), and he knew that, but didn’t want to give up our relationship, still, I didn’t think, even, he would have gone to these lengths to get his baby. (He was in bloody la la land, not the baby)!
The very last address where we had been living together was in Thentard, Suffolk, on a housing estate. It only suited me because there were 2 spare rooms for my kiddies to stay. After I left he was telling me that Li, his ‘wife’, had been one of the lodgers he had taken in, and Li and the others were working in the the local fish factory… in fact, now he had 3 other Chinese and a polish couple and their child, lodging in the flat; this meant that his 3 bedroom flat, was now home to 7 adults, one child, one baby and a long nosed English bull terrier (that he had bought ME as a pet, no less), and the dog only had the patio, off the living room on the 4th floor up to live on and at times the only place to do ‘it’s business’ as well—poor bugger! (I mean the dog). I didn’t think it was fair to the dog anyway to be in that flat, but now the dog wouldn’t even have the run of the house. Anyway, when I mentioned the dog, and my concerns, he told me that he had given him to a breeder of all kinds of bull dogs and he was in a happier home. I bloody well hope so, (poor bouncer, that wouldn’t have been hard for him to find something happier, plus he wasn’t a kiddie’s dog either). He had bought that dog for me to look after, so that he could call bouncer OUR baby—friggin nutter—why had I been so blind!, probably because half the time I was, BLIND DRUNK!
Duncan, was nearly tying himself in knots trying to get my attention that he needed the phone… but I wasn’t letting this little hotline go; I was enjoying this intriguing tale of Pete’s Chinese Espionage Plan too much by this time, and my mind was working overtime, anyway, I made out to Duncan that someone was upset at the other end of the phone and he quit the antics. Pete then went on to tell me, so that I wasn’t thinking that he was really married (even though he told me he was), NO, in fact she now had her wedding license, and they ‘acted out a wedding’ for the photos; which meant taking pictures outside the registry office, with Martin (one his only friend, a trekkie Goth,) as his best man, and one of Martin’s neighbours sister, niece, twice-removed cousin, half-bred nymphet, as the witness, and one of the fake brides work mates from the fish factory, as the other witness!!! Oh, what a lovely bunch, and lovely pictures that must have made, oh and don’t forget, the baby being held (for effect), oh, but the baby was ‘real’!! Silly me!! So a wedding document issued under totally ‘false pretences’, and orchestrated and phony wedding photos, the only thing left to do was ‘fool’ his mum (what a damn shame), and the authorities of course, when it comes to her citizenship (minor details). But the more scary thing I think, would have been trying to convince his psycho Dad who loves everything Scottish, and to him the English up in Scotland were ‘white settlers’ so, what the hell were the Chinese gonna be? kamikaze slit-eyed bastards that should have all been killed in the war? The very strange thing is that I believed that the person on the other end of this phone was actually starting to believe that this masterplan was going to really work… so when I asked if any of what he had told me was fabricated? . . . He said No, course not? . . . . Silly me… . daft question? This is Pete we’re talking about here.
Just when I think he couldn’t surprise me with his little scams anymore… he delivers! On a silver platter! Or should I say ‘Chinese take-away’, that he may try and get involved in trying to find out from his chinese connections, how he could perhaps find women for their men to get visas and vica-versa!! He’s an immoral bloody creep, and has lost the plot, and I’m hooked—not in him stupid… . his absolute invinc
ible attitude that he believes he can actually do it! What next?
Honestly, the guy lives on cloud cuckoo-land; after all that, he told me more than once, that the only person he had ever loved had left him… I never asked who… but before I could say anything, he explained, that he only had to be falsely married to her for a year, and then she gets her citizenship and he gets the baby!! AND he will then be able to be with and look after ME… OH MY GOD! Well, as Pete goes that really does take the Millionaire shortbread!
I was worn out, and told him I had hogged the phone long enough and had to go. I said my goodnights and then he asked if he could phone tomorrow and txt me, and I told him he could, but because of the hospital I may not be able to reply very quickly… . if ever!! I haven’t a clue about the right way to do these scams, but no doubt all will become clear tomorrow, and believe me, in no way do I condone what he’s done—in fact, I think its disgusting when there’s an innocent baby involved. I hope to god he isn’t lifting his hands to Li. I would think she is more likely to be a YES woman(I was gonna say wife), who cooks, cleans the house, gets in the shopping, looks after the baby all day, and has the 6.30 dinner on the table for him, so when Pete gets home from work he can play with the baby, (oh, before he plays with the baby, he will go to the loo to do his no.2s and read his adult porn magazines, or the sci-fi monthly—how disgusting, and not wash his hands after either! yuk!), for at least half an hour and you will then find that he will expect to be washed (probably all over by her and then they will probably have really kinky sex)! Well, who else does that to his wife!!? Can you see a pattern forming mmh?? . . . . father like son, maybe?
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