by Sophy Henn
I was just starting to feel a bit better about everything (because it is an actual scientific fact that giggling always helps) when I made the massive mistake of looking at the clock, it was five minutes to lunchtime and my stomach flipped and while I really tried to be all cool and calm, I mainly wasn’t.
After we had a quick lunch, Ivy, Molly, Ed and I walked to the sports field. It really did help that they were there (I would have been double nervous on my own), but I knew that very soon it would all come down to me, and no matter how many times I told myself…
… it still felt like it was a really big thing. And when I thought about it like that, I got a little bit cross again, but this time with myself.
WOOOOOOO! and HOOOOOOOOOO!
I won. I couldn’t believe it, but I won! I guess I was a SUPER super after all! Well, a super that happened to have a SUPER-SECRET, super baddie best friend. Whatever… I WON!
Maybe I WAS just as super as JETT? Maybe I was actually even SUPERER?!
It was 1–1 in the SUPER-OFF, with one more contest to go, which meant I could actually win the whole thing and be the WINNER!
Ivy, Molly and Ed came over to congratulate me! Yes, ME! The WINNER! I turned round and saw JETT trailing after Serena who was storming off with her nose in the air and although I knew deep down it probably shouldn’t, it actually did make me feel a bit good. See how they like it for a change!
I looked around me, and Ivy, Molly and Ed were looking at me like I had three heads and all those heads had MRS WIGGIN’S (the scariest dinner lady ever, and she has some tough competition) face on them and then I realised I had been thinking out loud.
Ivy told me, VERY seriously, to remember the SUPER-OFF didn’t actually mean anything, and as I of all people knew what Serena was really like, I should realise JETT was probably a nice person, but she was just being bossed about by Serena. As Ivy said all of this I knew she was probably right, but the problem was… I sort of wasn’t listening…
The rest of the day flew by, which was annoying as I was quite enjoying people smiling at me and congratulating me on winning the second SUPER-OFF contest. I quite liked being a winner, and while I felt a little bit bad for JETT, someone had to be the loser. Didn’t they?
I even started to think about doing some training after school for the final SUPER-OFF contest the next day. Then I stopped thinking about that and decided to paint my nails (I had a new shade to try out – DEAD BEETLE). They would be my lucky nails!
As soon as I got home I suddenly remembered JETT’S SUPER family were coming over for dinner!
Why tonight? I had far more important things to be doing, like getting in the ZONE, digging deep, putting my eyes on the PRIZE (oh, what if there was an actual prize?) and of course painting my lucky nails. But then I wondered if I could get any useful information out of JETT’S parents? If I was super sneaky they might accidentally tell me JETT’S weaknesses. Maybe she was scared of something… spiders? Cotton wool? Long words? (Which is called Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. REALLY??) OOOOOOH, maybe she was terrified of clowns? MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA (evil laugh)…
As I dragged my bag through the kitchen on my way to my room Mum told me JETT and her family were coming over in an hour so to get all my homework done and to wash my face and hands and try to think of this as an opportunity to make a new friend.
PUR-LEASE! I smiled what I thought was my winningest I-have-listened-to-everything-you-have-said-so-will-you-please-stop-talking-to-me-now smile at Mum, but she just told me not to be sarcastic. So she was reading my mind after all.
I really did try to do my homework, but I couldn’t concentrate because my brain only seemed to be able to imagine me winning the whole SUPER-OFF the next day and all the wonderful things that would happen as a result of me being the SUPER CHAMPION! It was pretty great… but then the doorbell went and ruined EVERYTHING.
By the time I’d got downstairs, WANDA was licking JETT’S hand and RED was telling her to think about joining the student council volunteer squad, which obviously RED is in charge of. How could they side with the enemy like this? TRAITORS!!! Unfortunately, I accidentally said that last part out loud (I need to stop doing that), which made things a bit MORE awkward. I wasn’t sure what to do next, so I just looked over at JETT with a look that I really hope said, ‘Yeah, whatever, you can have my dog and my annoying little sister, that’s fine by me.’ I’m not sure it actually did say that though because JETT just looked a bit confused. So I decided to go with my original plan and try to dig up some dirt on JETT by talking-to her parents…
Unfortunately after a good twenty minutes of small talk I only managed to accidentally let them know I was afraid of JELLY, which was not the plan at all, but I didn’t see how that would help JETT tomorrow. And I had managed not to mention it was specifically ORANGE JELLY, HAH!
JETT’S parents actually seemed surprisingly nice, and BILLY-BOB, their pet terrier, who is basically their version of WANDA, was also nice. All of that made me wonder if JETT might actually be nice after all… Well, when she wasn’t hanging out with Serena that is. But then I quickly stopped because that sort of thinking was not going help me be ULTIMATE AND SUPREME CHAMPION tomorrow… Not. At. ALL.
Dinner was double awkward, especially because Mum put JETT and I opposite each other so we ‘could talk’, and we did, but just with our eyes and I am almost positive all our eyes were saying, ‘I will beat you tomorrow, just you wait’. I even accidentally ate some mushrooms because my eyes were so busy telling JETT she was going to lose tomorrow, they forgot to check what I was eating. I tried not to let this show on my face, but I am fairly certain that is impossible.
After saying almost nothing for two hours (except with my eyes, obvs) it was finally time to say to goodbye (with my mouth) to JETT and her surprisingly nice family. They had to leave early as BILLY-BOB blurted out a mission for them halfway through dessert, and I have never been happier the world was in certain peril.
Just as they all headed for the door JETT whispered that she was glad Mission Control had picked the right SUPER for the job and not a nitwit who couldn’t even carry their lunch on a tray. So obviously I did the responsible and mature thing… and stuck my tongue out at her.
Of course no one else heard JETT, but Mum saw me stick my tongue out and decided to make a big old fuss over it. She even wanted me apologise when I HADN’T EVEN STARTED IT! And what made it all the more annoying was seeing JETT smirk while I was getting told off!
So obviously I got sent to my room.
I picked up BERNARD on the way. I thought I would fill her in on what had happened since I last spoke to her – she might have some brilliant advice, or just want to eat my school books again. Anyway, while I was telling her all about it and how it was SO COMPLETELY UNFAIR and how even my own family were on JETT’s side, I could have sworn I heard some eyes rolling. I whizzed round and sure enough there was KAPOW, and he wasn’t just eye-rolling but he was laughing as well. Rude.
When he had finally stopped laughing KAPOW said that no matter what happened at the SUPER-OFF, Serena would still think I’m a loser, because she is mean like that. But that even though I can be annoying and drag him into silly SUPER-OFFS he REALLY didn’t want to be part of and even talk to guinea pigs, HE didn’t think I was a loser. And I didn’t have to either.
KAPOW pointed out that JETT and I would always be supers (whether we wanted to be or not) and we will both carry on saving the world no matter who wins or who loses. As far as KAPOW could tell, Serena seemed to be one of those people who just likes causing lots of fuss and by being all huffy and grumpy and moan-y all I was doing was helping her… And why was I being so silly and letting her turn being SUPER into a stupid competition?
Silly? Err, I think you mean WINNER. I was FINALLY just about to actually WIN something and KAPOW calls it STUPID? THANKS! Well, I’d show him silly AND stupid and I told him so too… I couldn’t believe that even my longest, most secret and best friend didn’t understand. He’d o
bviously never been a NOBODY at school, but this was my chance to be liked – yes, maybe even POPULAR – and I wasn’t going to let him ruin it.
KAPOW zoomed off and I was so fidgety from it all I gave BERNARD a tiny Mohawk, which actually looked awesome and I realised my guinea pig might actually have better hair than me.
Then I went to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a big day.
All the way to school the next morning RED went on and on about how the SUPER-OFF was nonsense and she really didn’t get why JETT and I were letting Serena make us compete and blah blah BLAAAAH. Well, of course RED didn’t get it – she was super great at EVERYTHING without even trying. I just wanted to be great at this.
As RED and I walked up the path to school, I suddenly realised everyone was smiling at ME! Saying hello to ME! Even wishing ME luck for later. Wow! This must be what it felt like to be popular… RED rolled her eyes and I pointed out that she is categorically NOT allowed to roll her eyes as that is MY thing and I was about to tell her that I have to give permission to anyone wanting to do it and I DO NOT GIVE HER PERMISSION but then Jenny McGrath smiled at me and she never smiles at ANYONE. Then I thought about how I liked everyone smiling at me and I decided I wanted more. I had to win…
When I got into the classroom Ivy was already there but looking a bit worried, again, so I told her she shouldn’t worry because I was going to win today and school coolness would at last be MINE!
Then Ivy said ‘Of course’ in a way that suggested while that might happen it probably wouldn’t. Then she said she was actually worried about JETT. So I asked her why, because, err, really? Being MY friend and everything she should actually be worried about ME.
Ivy told me that Serena had been on and on at JETT all morning about how she only hung out with winners and that JETT better had be a winner too.
I reminded Ivy of all the times Serena had been mean to me (this took quite a while) and now it was my chance to show her and everyone else that I wasn’t a total loser, and that MAYBE my friends could be a bit more supportive instead of worrying about the ENEMY.
Ivy pointed out that at least I had friends, apart from Serena and The Populars JETT had no one, so I HAD to point out that ACTUALLY JETT had chosen Serena to be her friend, so…
Then I accidentally looked over at JETT who was slumped down in her chair and even her sports hair looked less swishy than normal. I accidentally felt bad for her, but I then I remembered I had some WINNING to do and couldn’t be worrying about that now.
At lunchtime Serena announced the final SUPER-OFF was during last break and unsurprisingly everyone thought that was a marvellous idea. Again.
I was a bit nervous about the final contest, so nervous I wasn’t sure I would be able to manage any lunch, so I only had 1 ½ baked potatoes, beans, coleslaw, broccoli, a yoghurt, some milk, an apple and two flapjacks. Once I’d got lunch out of the way I decided to try out some tactics, and stared really hard at JETT, so hard I was almost surprised actual LASERS didn’t come out of my eyes.
Ivy and Molly noticed (Ed didn’t as he was too interested in his giant cookie) and asked what I was doing. I said wasn’t it obvious? I was clearly psyching out my opponent.
Ivy asked why I was being so weird and what happened to me wanting to be JETT’S buddy?
Er, where had she been for the last two days? What was wrong with everyone?
I was just stomping out of the school hall when JETT got up and blocked my path and I wobbled a bit because I had no idea what I was supposed do so. I tried to look taller than normal and a bit cross yet also unbothered all at the same time, but it was really hard and I don’t think I managed it. So then I tried to walk round JETT, who just stepped to the side and blocked my path. I tried again and she just stepped the other way and then she reached behind her and brought out a JELLY! Then JETT announced to the WHOLE school (well, the bit that was in the canteen) that I was scared of JELLY. Well ha-ha-de-ha-ha, JETT, because that is a strawberry JELLY and I am only afraid of— ARGH! Right then, JETT produced an ORANGE JELLY from behind her back and there was nothing for it but to run out of the hall, maybe slightly screaming.
I don’t know what it is… the glowing orangey wobbliness… its… it’s just DISGUSTING.
Ivy and Molly found me in the bathroom. I told them that after what had just happened I HAD TO WIN or I would be even more of a loser than ever.
Ivy said I didn’t need to win Serena’s silly competition to prove anything, and I pointed out that how would she know, she didn’t know what it was like to be a SUPER, with people expecting you to be, well, super all the time, and Serena wasn’t horrible to her and she didn’t have to wear a stupid long cape THE WHOLE TIME. NO ONE understood, NO ONE got it and could EVERYONE just go away and leave me on my own. NOW… PLEASE?
Ivy and Molly looked a bit shocked and I had a feeling I probably did too. I didn’t like this feeling at all. And I didn’t really want to be on my own, but it was too late now, I’d said it. Ivy and Molly had walked out.
The afternoon went on forever and I couldn’t even giggle with Ivy in tutor time, what with us not speaking and everything, then finally the bell for afternoon break went. This time I had to make the LOOOOONG walk up to the back field on my own. It felt much more scary than when my friends had been with me, but I couldn’t let anyone see that… I had winning to do.
Serena, The Populars and JETT (who was acting a bit like she was already the winner) were all standing on the wall. When they saw me Serena nudged JETT and they wobbled around a bit, I guess like a JELLY.
Fun-ny.
Serena summoned me up onto the wall and started to make a speech about how it was all her idea and now we would find out who really was the SUPEREST SUPER of them all, and the final contest would be a race to bring back one of the rings of Saturn and then I *eye rolled*. Even I know they aren’t ACTUAL rings. They’re just made up of millions of bits of space rock, moon pieces and dust and stuff. I looked across at JETT who looked a bit confused, like she had just thought the same thing. Then I looked at Ivy who *eye rolled*. So did Ed and Molly (it really is catching on), then I saw RED do it too (which I surprisingly didn’t mind right then) and suddenly I got a telepathic signal that even KAPOW was *eye rolling* and then I laughed out loud, because, well, it was all so SILLY!
Serena really didn’t appreciate me laughing halfway through her dramatic SUPER-OFF Final introduction. You could tell because her face went actual purple and she just opened and closed her mouth a bit like a goldfish or Puffa (as in the fish not the padded coat). Then I remembered what Susie and KAPOW (and possibly BERNARD) had said about how the Serenas of this world (and possibly alien worlds too) can only be hurtful if we let them. I decided right then to take back MY power and do the thing that SUPERHEROES are trained to do from birth…
I MONOLOGUED.
POSSIBLY A LONG TIME AGO IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY…
… but mainly this week, here at school dark forces have gathered and they only went and created the SUPER-OFF. Like absolute twits JETT and I fell for it and have been running around trying to prove we are each more SUPER and generally better than the other. But in all that chaos we forgot SUPERHERO rule number 1… that everyone has DIFFERENT super powers and, instead of using them against each other, we should combine them to make the superest powers of all, like friendship, kindness and jet-propelled glitter storms.
We must always remember while these dark forces can TRY to make us feel not at all super, we all have the power to decide how we react to them… maybe ignore them or maybe talk it over with some good forces or maybe just remind yourself that you are most definitely the superest you. EVER.
Oh yes, and you won’t believe it but the true meaning of life is…
BUT THEN…
Like so many good superhero monologues, it was interrupted by a baddie… Serena stopped gaping her mouth and gained the power of speech, or should I say screech, and yelled ‘GO!’ at the top of her lungs. BUT at the exact same time, WANDA and BILL
Y-BOB appeared with an actual real mission for me and JETT! With Serena yelling and WANDA and BILLY-BOB blurting out our mission it all got rather confusing.
I looked at JETT, who looked at me and we both knew exactly what to do… THE SUPER-OFF!!!
Ha-HA! Only joking, of course we went off to save the world… And as we left Earth’s atmosphere we could still hear Serena screeching…
Yes.
We saved the world,
again.
Because that’s what SUPERPOWERS are really for, only sometimes we get it all a bit muddled.
By the time we got back to school, news of our actual world-saving had reached everyone, which I cannot help but feel had something to do with Red. I know she is honestly the most irritating little sister ever, but there are times when I am very glad she is my irritating little sister. She gave me the double thumbs up, so I *eye rolled* and everything felt right again.
Everyone seemed very excited about what JETT and I had done. Well, everyone except Serena and The Populars. Well, Popular 1 looked excited until Serena jabbed her in the ribs, and then she just looked a bit in pain. JETT and I were even given three cheers which Verity Bennett from the athletics team started. I had never had a three cheers before, and the one for luck really did take me by surprise.
Who knows, maybe by just being myself I might be somebody at school, maybe even a bit popular, maybe even a bit cool. I mean, I have the right hair for it…
