by E M Lindsey
“Of course,” he said, now in a hurry to have it all out there. He had no time to waste on pleasantries. Cole had been involved in classified and dangerous projects for too many years to not have made at least a few enemies, and it was only a matter of time that something would catch up to him.
“It’s about Project Ire,” Taber said, and Cole felt his entire face flush. Project Ire had been his last. He’d been on the trail of a man—a chameleon to them whose original identity and origins remained unknown. Cole had managed to decode nearly all of the messages they’d come across, and it was intercepting a transport which was supposed to contain several pieces of tech Cole was meant to decipher that the bomb went off and killed six men, wounding eleven—Cole included. He hadn’t heard anything since. “We’ve received intelligence that The Veil is on the move, and it’s possible he’s following a trail. Three of the survivors on your last mission have been attacked in their homes—two survived, but Corporal Mikaelson did not.”
Cole felt that like a punch to the gut. Trent Mikaelson had only come on board with him a month before the failed mission, but he’d been a good man, and the thought he’d lost his life because of the bad information Cole had decoded…
“What does that mean?” he asked.
Taber sighed. “For now, your superiors want you to remain where you’re at. Your location is secured. This is a new project. None of it is public, but your family does know you’ve gone to the states. That puts them in danger.”
Cole felt his heart hammering against the inside of his ribs. His hands clenched then unclenched and it took him a moment to regain his composure. His daughter. His daughter would be the first target. “What are they doing to ensure their safety?”
“Your mother has agreed to leave the country, to a secured location, but there’s some issue with your ex…”
“She isn’t,” he started, but realized that there was no point in being pedantic. He let out a sigh and shook his head. “I’m assuming Isabel isn’t being as agreeable.”
“As a matter of fact, she’s willing to negotiate. It’s been made clear to her that this situation is dangerous and tricky, but she’s demanding…” Taber hesitated, and Cole’s stomach clenched a little.
“Whatever it is, I’m sure I can work it out,” Cole told him, hoping to just get on with it.
“She wants protection for her family,” Taber said, and none of that was a surprise to Cole. “And when I told her that your identity had been secured here, she asked for the same.”
That hit Cole like a physical blow. He had the irrational urge to rub at his sockets, to find a way to pry open his lids and somehow manifest vision so he could verify for himself that Taber was not pulling some terrible joke on him. Isabel was asking to come here?
“I don’t understand,” Cole said after a long moment.
“She was informed that you were to be put under unobtrusive guard until the threat is neutralized, and she requested that herself, her husband, and your daughter be offered the same.”
Cole felt his throat go dry and he had to clear it, reaching down for Kevin just to give himself something physical to hold on to. Kevin nudged him, then licked his fingers, and the contact instantly soothed him. “I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely, “it’s only, she was quite adamant she didn’t want anything to do with me after the explosion. She was rather insistent that my daughter not be subjected to my…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it, so he gestured weakly at his face.
Taber was quiet, then he said, “I’m sorry, Price.”
Cole shook his head. He didn’t know how to explain that he’d rather remain the abstract memory of the father who showed up to those early birthday parties and school recitals, whole and unscarred. He didn’t know how to explain just how gutted and torn he would be if he had to endure his daughter revolted and afraid of him. He didn’t know what he looked like—he would never know—but he had heard the unfiltered questions from the mouth of children on the bus, in the shops, at the park walking Kevin. He knew there was nothing natural about him now, and he didn’t want to be a monster in her eyes.
Now the decision he’d made—the choice to stay away to protect her—was being taken away from him. “If I don’t want this?” he asked.
Taber sighed. “I think arrangements are being handled now. From what I’m aware, Mrs. Collins and her family are being sequestered somewhere until transport can be arranged and living arrangements sorted out. I’m sure someone will be in touch with you regarding all this.”
Cole realized what else Taber was saying. “And I’m to be put under guard?”
“Observation,” Taber corrected. “You’ll have a tail on you, but right now your superiors don’t want you to abandon your work. For all intents and purposes, you are not Lieutenant Cole Price.”
“It’s not a difficult line to draw between him and Cole Scarborough, though. Blind, English, ex-military,” he said woodenly. He hadn’t worried too much about the fact that it was such a transparent pseudo-identity, only now…
“You know just as well as we do that hiding in plain sight is the best option. There’s no way to link Price and Scarborough on paper—we had our best people on the job,” Taber said, though he sounded more patient than annoyed. “We’ll take extra precautions if we need them, but for now there’s no cause to worry.”
“And you don’t think if they’re coming for my daughter,” Cole said, his voice as tense as his body was becoming, “they’ll be able to trace her straight to me?”
“It’s exactly why they’re being taken into protection now. Three weeks will lapse, and then they’ll be brought over. Any trail will have gone cold by then and their arrival will be safer.”
Cole wasn’t nearly as confident as Taber, but in this instance, he didn’t really have any cause to distrust him or the system that was set up to protect him. “And I suppose I have no choice in the matter? In Isabel bringing Claire here?”
“I,” Taber said, then paused. “I just assumed you would have wanted your daughter safe.”
“I do,” Cole snapped. “Her safety is the most important thing to me but trust me when I tell you this is far more complicated than it sounds. I don’t understand why Isabel would want this. I can’t begin to understand why her husband would allow it.” He let himself quietly acknowledge that Isabel was married. That he’d been sending money and emails and the occasional phone call to Claire and it had never been mentioned once that Isabel was serious with someone.
It made his stomach twist.
“If you like, I can relay a message to,” Taber began.
Cole quickly interrupted. “That won’t be necessary. I just need time to process. This is wholly unexpected.” Not the attacks, not the threat of The Veil, or the project coming back to bite him on the arse. But Isabel and Claire? He’d never felt more helpless in his life.
“Let me know if you need anything. You know it’s a long weekend, right? So maybe take the time to figure out how you feel and let us know if there’s some sort of compromise we can come to.”
Cole nodded, though he knew there wasn’t one. He had only casually known Isabel, but he knew her well enough to be aware of her stubborn streak, and her determination. It had shown itself when she showed up at his door with a one-month old baby, and in her voice after he asked her why she’d waited so long and she’d said simply, “I wasn’t sure you deserved to know her.”
Cole had set about trying to prove his worth since then and had never stopped. Now it had all gone to shit.
Unable to focus anymore, he turned to his computer and began the shut-down process. He wouldn’t be able to concentrate, and there was no point in trying. The only thing he could take comfort in was that he had a place to go where he could beat out his frustrations and no one would judge him for it. He also might run into a certain man who made his stomach twist in the best way possible, and maybe tonight, he was feeling a little reckless.
4.
“…I think that’s good,�
� Adrian’s voice said in the quiet din of the nearly-empty boxing room. Cole was breathing heavy, his lip split and his cheek hot with a blooming bruise, but he felt moderately better than he had when he first came in.
It wasn’t a training night, but Adrian had been there and had seemed to need to work out his own frustrations. They hadn’t gone easy on each other, which Cole appreciated more than anything. Shuffling to the edge of the ring, he sat down, felt for his water, and took down several gulps to cool the burning in his chest.
He heard Adrian’s uneven gait, then felt the floor shift under him as Adrian sat. “You want to talk about it?”
Cole snorted, shaking his head. “I haven’t even begun to process half the rubbish from today. I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
Adrian hummed, then there was a loud swallow as he drank from his own water. After a moment he said, “Want to start with something simple?” When Cole remained steadfastly quiet, Adrian said, “Why don’t I go first?”
“Go on, then,” Cole said, hoping it might ease the way. Frankly, being able to talk about some of it might actually feel better than holding it all in, but the idea of letting it all out there made his chest feel tight.
Adrian leaned into him just slightly, and Cole appreciated it. Touch was like eye-contact for him now, helped him stay oriented and sure that the person was engaged with him. “I’m a student at the university,” he started, his voice steady but tense. “I met Noah when he signed up for kickboxing, and I thought…after our first conversation, I thought he was a student too. Turns out he’s not. He’s a professor, and some asshole is now trying to blackmail him because we were found out. According to the university policy, we can’t date. It’s in my nature to protect, to solve problems, and I don’t know how to fix this. I haven’t let myself feel anything for anyone in a long damn time, but him…”
Cole could feel it in Adrian’s tone, could hear how much he felt for Noah, how much this was gutting him. Cole couldn’t imagine being in a position like that, and he wasn’t sure what to say, but he understood. He was a problem-solver too. “I have connections, you know. Decent ones.”
“From your time in the military?” Adrian asked.
Cole smiled a little. “Something like that. I could try to help.”
“I’m not sure there’s anything anyone can do,” Adrian interrupted, but there was a smile in his voice. “But I appreciate it.”
Cole realized then it was his turn, and he felt panic for a second. Nearly everything he wanted to say was classified, but there was at least one thing he could talk about. “I have a daughter.” The words tripped off his tongue. He had talked about Claire once, readily and happily, showing off her photo to anyone who would have the patience to look. But it had been a while since he’d let himself be the proud dad, and it felt strange. “She’s seven now, she lives in England, but she may be coming here and I…” His voice cracked a bit and he cleared his throat. “I haven’t seen her since my injury. Her mum wasn’t keen on her being around me like this, and I’m petrified.”
“Of what?” Adrian asked, and there was genuine curiosity in his voice, not mocking.
Cole found he wanted to be honest with this man who trusted him with his inner pain, who believed in his abilities in spite of his disabilities. “That she’s going to take one look at me and run. Or scream. That my face is such a horror it’ll give her nightmares. I mean, I was blinded before I was able to see the damage, but I know what it feels like. I’ve heard what people say when they walk past.”
Adrian sighed quietly. “You don’t look monstrous, Cole. Trust me. I know what it’s like to live with the insecurity that the only thing the people you care about will see is your scars but…”
“You honestly can’t know what it’s like to live with this,” Cole told him, sharper than he meant to, but it was such a tender thing.
He felt Adrian shift, heard the sound of his feet hitting the floor, then there was something else. The sound of cloth like Adrian was pulling his clothes off. “Can I show you something?”
Cole bristled, but gave a nod and eased himself to the ground. He flinched just a little when Adrian took his wrist, but he allowed the motion as Adrian drew his hand up, placing his fingers lightly at his temple.
It took Cole a moment to register what he was feeling, but the skin beneath his hand was all too familiar. Knobby, stretched, wrinkled, a cascade of scars from a vicious blast. His breath caught in his chest.
“An IED,” Adrian said quietly. He guided Cole’s hand by the wrist, down the side of his face to a misshapen something which Cole realized was his ear, then down the side of his neck where the skin was thick and knotted. “It mostly hit me on my lower back and legs, which is why I wear braces. But I caught some of it to the face. It ruined my ear and my hearing in it, scarred my face. It took me a long time to accept that the people who give a shit about me see the scars as a part of me, but not something that ruined me. Even when I feel ruined myself. She’s young and it might make her nervous, but she’ll also remember you’re her dad, and if she’s afraid at first, she won’t stay that way.”
Cole bowed his head as he dropped his hand away from Adrian, clenching his fingers into his palm. “I just don’t know if I could take it.”
“You can,” Adrian said, then clasped his naked shoulder. “You’ve taken a lot worse than that and survived. You’ll survive this too, and eventually you’ll be glad you did. She’s not going to stop loving you just because you’re scarred or blind. But if you shut her out, she might not feel so willing to love a man who made the choice for her without giving her a chance.”
The words were of some comfort, but combined with everything else he’d learned that day, it didn’t take the edge off his frustration and pain. “Thank you,” he said, and at the very least, he meant it. Being there at Baum’s had once more proved the place to be a sanctuary for him, a place where people understood him, and he didn’t have to pretend.
“I’m going to take off. You going to hang for a bit?” Adrian asked.
Cole nodded. “I think I’m going to see if I can work out a little more frustration on a bag, but I’ll make sure I wipe everything down before I head out.”
“Good man,” Adrian said, clapping him on the shoulder once more. Cole waited, reaching for his gloves as Adrian gathered his crutches and left the room. The door closed heavily behind him, and Cole let out a short breath. The feeling of being alone was almost crushing for a moment, then Kevin nosed him in the calf, and he remembered he was okay. He needed this. He gave the dog a pat, then made his way to the bags and began to unleash a torrent of punches, allowing every ounce of his anger to come through.
Resentment poured out of him, and for the first time in a while, he truly let himself feel it. The night couldn’t have been better. At least, not until the door opened again.
***
Ryan was feeling somewhat mollified now that he’d learned Adrian and Noah had reconnected at the aquarium and it looked like things were back on track. At the very least, he could rest easy knowing that one- Noah wasn’t going to take Charlie Barnes’ bullshit on the chin and do nothing, and two- that he wasn’t going to sacrifice his happiness any longer. He wasn’t sure exactly how it was going to go after this. Noah and Adrian would still have to be careful and keep their relationship under wraps until the spring term was over, but it was something.
Tapping his pen on his desk, Ryan had just pushed back from his computer to stand when there was a knock on his door. He froze, halfway between a sit and a stand, and had just plopped back into his chair when the door opened, and his brother walked in.
His relationship with Rhys, there was never an in between. He either hated the guy or loved him. It had always been one extreme or the other, and right now Rhys was on his good side. Mostly because he had been away traveling for the last few months. Rhys had also gone into law, though he’d chosen a private practice dealing with civil suits rather than going for broke the way Ryan had.
They’d always butted heads about their reasons for their careers, but luckily, they likely wouldn’t ever see each other in the courtroom.
“Hey, you got a minute?” Rhys asked, closing the door behind him. “I uh…I got a weird client and there might be a conflict of interest. Involving someone you know,” he added as an afterthought.
Ryan’s eyebrows flew up. It was an unlikely scenario, especially considering he never, ever shared his trysts with his brother, and the only people in the world he knew, he would have known if they visited his brother for anything. He gestured to a chair for Rhys to sit. “You want something to drink?”
Rhys shook his head, a lock of hair two or three shades lighter than Ryan’s falling over his forehead. Rhys was older by five years and had always worn his age well. Not a wrinkle in sight, probably due to Botox since Rhys was more obsessed with his appearance than Ryan had been, but their genetics had always blessed them. Rhys was three inches taller, a few inches broader, and most days looked like he should be gracing a magazine cover, not a courtroom.
Right now though, he looked worried, and that set Ryan on edge.
“A guy called my office and Bridgette booked him a consultation last week,” Rhys started. “I wasn’t even sure I wanted to hear the guy’s case. He’s going after his place of business over what he claims is unlawful termination, but there was something about it that made me think there was more.”
“And let me guess,” Ryan said, “you were right.”
Rhys nodded. “Yeah, but that’s where the conflict comes in. Turns out this guy was fired from the university for misconduct involving a student. During the course of our interview, he happened to mention a mutual acquaintance of ours that was recently involved in something similar.”
Ryan had opened his mouth to say something sarcastic, but promptly shut it with a loud click. He swallowed thickly. “I see. This acquaintance, would his first name happen to be Noah?”
