by Sarah Hoss
“You’ve been dreaming of me? Why haven’t you told me?”
She rose and began to pace the room. Margaret sent the kids over to the corner to play with toys. Marlana stared at the fireplace, watching the flames dance, letting herself get lost in them for a moment. She was becoming angry. Angry at what had happened to her. Angry that he’d withheld this information. He knew she’d dreamt of him. This could have been vital information to getting her back home or for explaining why she was here and he’d said nothing. She swiped fiercely at a tear and stormed outside.
Alexander followed.
“What’s wrong?” He started to reach out and touch her, but she flinched away from him. Taking two steps forward, she stood peering out over the woods. Night was coming, the hour of gloaming, as they called it. The time where night grew quiet and peaceful and the sun faded away. Rich bold colors decorated the sky. Red dominated, making it look like the heavens were on fire, and she remembered a rhyme her mother would say to her as a child. Red sky at night, sailors delight. Red sky in morning, sailors take warning. Her throat clinched and her heart ached at the thought of her mother.
Tears sprang to the surface. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore, she needed to vent. “How long have you been having them?”
“What difference does it make?”
She put her hand out. “Just tell me.” She closed her eyes and waited for his answer.
“Almost a year, now. They began shortly after Mairi died.”
She thought she was going to faint. Her mind filled with questions. His large, warm hand rested on her back.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” She ran her hand over her forehead; her voice cracked. “I’ve told you everything about me.”
Pushing away from him, she started pacing. “Why would you deliberately keep things from me?” Stopping to stare at him, she pointed to herself. “I told you everything. Do you know how embarrassing it was to find out I did that when I was drunk. Then I thought, what the hell, I’ve already revealed the things that would make him run from me, I might as well keep going.”
She sniffed, all the while Alexander stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, taking her fury.
“Do you have any idea how hard it was to tell you about my parents or how humiliating it was to let you know that Alan dumped me? What do I know about you? Not a damn thing, that’s what.”
A month of anger, confusion, and fear were finally being released and she picked up a rock, throwing it with all of her might toward the night sky.
Turning to face him, she said, “The one thing I should’ve known, that may have made a difference, and you kept it from me.” Her hands fisted at her sides.
“What is really bothering ye, Marlana? Are ye angry at me because ye feel I deceived ye, or are ye angry at yerself for being so trusting?”
She glared at him. “Slow down, Charlie Brown.”
“Why do ye speak to me in puzzles? I doona understand yer words.”
“You’re pissing me off.”
“Am I? I’m assuming that means ye’re angry?” His eyes narrowed on her.
“You are an ass.”
He stepped toward her. There was no anger in his voice when he spoke. “I understand ye wish I was as free with my words as ye are and I’m sorry I’m not. Trusting someone here may mean more than it does where ye come from. Here, if ye have someone’s trust, it’s an honor. Ye cherish it, ye do everything ye can to keep that trust. For once broken, ye may never get it back.”
He reached out to lay his hands on her shoulders. “Ye show up in my house one day, claiming it’s yers. Ye weave this tale about where ye come from with little proof to back it up.”
“You have to admit the proof was good, and besides, you said you believed me.”
“Aye, it was. Still hard to believe, yet I do. Then ye want me to confide in ye everything that has ever happened to me. I doona know ye well enough to do that.” He grasped her chin and made her look at him. “I’m sorry.”
“I just think that if I had known some of this, it could’ve helped me get back home.”
He pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back. She was through crying, but she needed to grab control of herself. Then a realization hit her, what was it he’d just said?
“Oh, my God, no wonder you look at me as if I’m carrying some nasty disease. You started dreaming of me right after the death of your wife.”
He didn’t say a word, but looked away.
She wondered what their guests might be thinking or doing at this moment. Had they heard the yelling? She’d ranted like a mad woman.
“Your family probably thinks I’m crazy. We’d best be getting back inside to try and explain some of this.”
“That may be a good idea. Though how to do it is beyond me.”
Taking a moment to calm down, she glanced up at Alexander and smiled, nodded her head, and started for the door. She wasn’t quite over her surprise and anger, but staying that way wasn’t going to get her home any quicker and she needed the help of his family. She needed to apologize for her behavior, let them know how she felt, and what she was thinking. They knew everything that was going on, so she hoped she could make a friend out of them. Well, they knew almost everything. They didn’t know she had traveled through time and they didn’t know about her dreams.
She opened the door and all eyes turned to them. She gave a faint smile and walked over to take her chair at the table.
“I want to apologize for my behavior. Making a fuss and running out like that.” She waved her hand toward the door. “Everything is so stressed out and confusing to me right now. I’ll admit to being a little scared, too.”
Alexander put his hand on her back and stroked lightly.
Hamish and Margaret looked at each other.
“You see, without telling you everything, the problem is, I don’t know if I will be able to get back home. I’m trying to figure things out, so when Alexander mentioned the dreams, that made me angry and a little scared,” she said as she fiddled with the hem of her sleeve. “I’ve been having dreams of him and they started about the same time his did. Maybe they mean something, I don’t know.”
Margaret and Hamish glanced at each other again, then at Alexander.
“I’m rambling aren’t I?” She lowered her head.
“Yer fine,” Margaret said with sympathy in her voice. “It isn’t as if ye haven’t been through a lot. I will say that if ye are needing anything at all, ye come to me. I would like to help if I can.” She reached out and took her hand.
“That goes for the both of us,” Hamish said.
“You all are so kind to help me and I appreciate it.”
The rest of the night went by easily. They had a good time visiting and soon it was time for Alexander’s family to leave. The little ones had fallen asleep hours ago. Fiona was in her lap and Cathal in Alexander’s. For the first time since she’d arrived, she didn’t feel lonely. Maybe there was hope to her situation. At least she had other people on her side. Being here would seem a little less scary.
When Hamish and Margaret were settled into the wagon, she and Alexander handed them their treasures and stepped back. As Margaret settled Cathal in her arms, she spoke to Alexander. “In a day or two, if ye can manage, I want ye to bring her to the house. Let her spend the day with me and I will see if I can help her in anything she has questions about.”
This made Marlana clap her hands together and smile. She turned and gave Alexander the most pleading look she could come up with.
Looking down at her, he grumbled, despite the smile on his face. “Are all women born with the ability to give ye a look that would make ye do anything they wanted? It doesna seem fair.” Alexander glanced toward Hamish.
“Notice I’m not married yet. I t
ry not to stare at a woman for too long, then maybe I can keep my sanity.” Hamish leaned away when Margaret swatted at him.
Marlana turned to Alexander with excitement and laid her hands on his chest. “Does that mean you will take me? Oh, to talk with another female would be great. No offense.”
“None taken, and aye, I’ll take ye the day after tomorrow.”
Marlana rose on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
“Ye’re welcome.”
CHAPTER 14
Marlana hadn’t realized how badly she needed to talk to another female and the reality that today Alexander would take her to see Margaret lightened her mood. She wanted someone to confide in. No one would replace Victoria and Lilly, but perhaps Margaret could come close. Her heart ached as images of her two best friends flittered through her mind.
There were other things also, questions she had that only another woman could answer and she needed to talk about Alexander. She had questions about her role in this time, in this country, though the first would be hard to ask. Alexander had been helpful; yet there were things she could not ask him.
The day was warm, but misting outside. She dressed, loosely braided her hair, and set out to make breakfast. Not seeing Alexander in the house, she went outside to find him, but he was nowhere in sight. Most likely, this early in the morning, he would be tending to the animals. When she didn’t find him in the barn, she started to leave, but the horses caught her attention. Gideon was often out of his stall, since Alexander used him for many things, and she was used to him, but the other little horse almost seemed forgotten. The mare was never used and never ridden. She walked to her stall. The horse stomped her foot and backed away. Why would anyone keep a horse if they were never going to use her? Breeding could be the answer. She bent to look and noticed that the horse didn’t seem to be pregnant.
Sticking out her hand, she approached slowly, murmuring soft words to her. The horse did not approach, but she didn’t shy away, either. She stood at the railing, whispering to her with her hand out.
“You’re a little beauty, aren’t you?” If she could get this horse used to her, maybe Alexander would let her ride her. She hoped there was nothing wrong with the little brown horse.
Marlana watched her, not moving, just waiting; knowing that if she wanted to get on the horse’s good side, she would have to be patient. She left her hand out and cooed at the horse for several long minutes. Eventually, the horse pawed the ground, then took a step toward her, until finally she was near her hand and sniffed it. Marlana slowly leaned down to exhale in front of the horse’s nose so she could learn her scent. The horse breathed in and out, then her nose nudged Marlana’s hand. She slowly reached out and petted the silky coat. She smiled; proud of herself for having accomplished the task and she hoped that when she came back tomorrow, the horse would remember her.
Turning to leave the barn, she nearly jumped out of her skin. Her heart pounded in her chest. She swallowed and tried to calm herself.
“For crying out loud, Alex, you nearly scared me half to death.” She started to walk out of the barn, but Alexander blocked her exit.
“How long have you been standing there?” Maybe she shouldn’t have messed with the horses without asking him first.
“Long enough to see what ye were doing.”
She glanced back at the horse. “I’m sorry, if I over stepped my boundaries. I meant no offense.”
She watched as Alexander walked over to the stall where the small horse stood and reached in to pet her. She started to leave the barn, when Alexander reached out and grabbed her wrist.
“Ye didn’t do anything wrong. It’s only that she was Mairi’s horse. Ever since her death, the horse has let no one around her. I canna even ride her, only feed and groom her.”
“I wonder why she let me touch her?” She watched the horse, puzzled. She was eating, not paying them any attention.
“I wonder the same thing.”
“So you aren’t mad at what I did?”
“Nay, only surprised.” He reached out to pet her again.
“What’s her name?”
“Heather. She was named after Mairi’s favorite flower” Patting her back, he said, “Are ye ready to go?”
Noticing how quickly he changed the subject, she smiled and nodded. “I am.”
When they were standing at Gideon’s side, she glanced around, trying to figure out just how she was going to get on. He was a very large horse. There had to be a stool nearby.
Alexander must have sensed her dilemma, for he put his hands on her waist and lifted her as if she weighed nothing at all. To be picked up so quickly, without warning, and placed unceremoniously on the horse, took her by surprise and she let out a squeal. She covered her mouth, as if she could take it back.
“How else did ye think ye were going to get up there?”
“For your information, mister, I’d been thinking of something. I was about to lead him to the fence, so I could use that, before you grabbed me.” She tried to give him a snooty look, but the only result was in making herself laugh.
“Aye, I see. Well, just so ye know for next time, Gideon willna go anywhere unless I tell him to.” Alexander swung up behind her and they were off.
The ride to his sister’s house was excruciating. The necessary contact of their two bodies brought on an awareness of Alexander that Marlana hadn’t thought about since that night in the barn. Every time she felt her body brush against his, her skin enflamed, her heart raced. She tried to sit up straight, but every once in a while she forgot and their bodies would touch. The heat of his skin, his breath in her hair, his powerful thighs hugging her own; combined with the constant friction of the saddle at the juncture of her legs might easily have caused her to find her own secret pleasure if she had been relaxed enough to let it happen.
She admired his legs and was amazed at their size; they dwarfed hers. Muscle rippled through them as he rode, sometimes using them to guide the horse. Just a gentle nudge with his knee and Gideon knew what to do. How would it feel to be tamed by a man like Alexander, a Highland warrior? Her nipples tightened at the thought.
Most of the time she’d spent with him, she’d only seen him in the role of a farmer. She was well aware of the other side, too. The nicks on his hands; the scar that ran about three inches under his right breast; the smaller scar on his back that looked to be the result of a puncture wound; all subtle signs of his fighting. She tried not to think of what he would look like in battle and she hoped she would never have to see it.
“How much longer until we’re there?” she pleaded.
“Just on the other side of the hill,” he said with a smile she could hear and thankfully couldn’t see.
Alexander wished he could speed up the ride. Sitting with her in front of him was torture. Her bottom pressed precariously close to his groin and every step of the horse brought a wave of discomfort. He had to admit that it wasn’t a completely bad discomfort, but torture all the same. Fantasies played with his mind on what that sweet little bottom would feel like in his hands. He knew she was trying to hold herself away from him, trying to make as little contact as possible. When he laid his hand on her thigh, the jolt he felt in response brought a smile to his face. It was nice to know he wasn’t the only one feeling the effects of riding so close.
What was she doing to him? He suddenly frowned. As much as he hated to think of her, he did often. Did he really want to go through the rest of his life alone? No one to care for him? No one to warm his bed? No one for him to care for? He was scared to love again and that made him angry. He was strong, he’d fought many battles, but the hardest battle he’d ever fought was trying to keep his heart protected. He had to admit that he might be getting tired of it.
He stopped the horse at the top of a small hill. Marlana peered down a
t the scene before them. His gaze followed hers. Life flourished on this little farm and he was happy for his sister. He slowly realized that this was exactly what he wanted, but had been trying so hard to forget. Was Marlana the woman he could have this kind of life with? Was she sent here for him to love?
Alexander dismounted and set Marlana on the ground as a smiling Margaret came out of the cottage.
She gave a quick wave. Alexander’s hands lingered on her waist and she peered up at him. The gleam in his eyes let her know that the ride had affected him also. She smiled. “You go and have fun with Callum. I think today is going to be good for all of us.”
She walked into the house and glanced around. It was cozy and comfortable. The kitchen and living area were one large room. Off to the left were two doors. Bedrooms, she assumed. A big fireplace was on the right. It dawned on her that the set up was similar to Alexander’s house, with one large difference; it held a woman’s touch. She walked over to the table and set her things on it. She’d brought spices and herbs she thought would be useful, as well as flour and sugar.
They set about getting ready, Margaret telling her the things she needed to know. The first thing they were going to make was bread.
After she made sure she had all of the items on Margaret’s list, she grabbed a bowl, and began following instructions. Once she’d mixed her ingredients, she let the ball of dough rise for an hour, then took it out and laid it on the table. Punching all of the air bubbles out, she started kneading. By the time she was finished, her arms hurt.
“I’m glad we’re going over the bread. I tried to make some the other day and I wasn’t successful.”
She divided the ball into three sections as Margaret laughed and told her about the first time she’d tried to make bread. She put each section into a pan. After it rose again, she put the three loaves into the oven.
