‘Cal’s enthusiastic.’
‘Not now I’m not,’ Cal said. ‘I’m not the least bit enthusiastic. Hamish, move over, mate. I want to get past.’
‘When I’ve finished asking questions,’ Hamish told him. ‘So you’re going to organise a pool.’ He glanced across at Gina. ‘And you’re going to help?’
‘Not me. I’m going back to the US.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Hamish complained. ‘No one’s making sense.’
‘My ice cream’s squashed,’ CJ told them all conversationally. He pulled back from his hug and eyed his mother’s cleavage. ‘I think some of my ice cream’s dropped down there.’
‘Great,’ said Gina. She peered down. ‘Oh, goody. Chocolate.’
‘I guess that means you get first crack at the shower,’ Hamish told her, and grinned. ‘Want some help?’
‘CJ will help,’ she said with dignity.
‘I was offering Cal’s services.’
‘Butt out, Hamish.’ Cal was feeling like so many things were being thrown at him his head was spinning. He needed space. He needed to get away by himself and sort his head out. And the chocolate ice cream had gone where?
‘Will you look after my dog?’ CJ was asking him, and he tried to think of something useful to say. Hamish was chuckling.
‘Hamish is a paediatrician,’ he told CJ. ‘He’s good at handling babies. Rudolph is a puppy and therefore-’
‘CJ, Rudolph isn’t your dog,’ Gina told her son, tugging him up the steps.
‘The Grubbs can’t keep him,’ CJ said, distressed. ‘He has to be my dog.’
‘We can’t take him home, honey.’
‘I’m going back to the hospital,’ Hamish said. ‘I’m needed.’ He gave them his most virtuous look and disappeared. Fast. Before he ended up with a dog.
‘I need to keep Rudolph,’ CJ said urgently, not even noticing Hamish’s exit in his distress. ‘What will happen to him if I can’t keep him?’
‘Cal will look after him,’ Gina said, ‘Won’t you, Cal?’
‘I don’t want a dog.’
‘Of course you do,’ she told him. ‘Everyone wants a dog and he’s splendid. You won’t have to need him at all.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Figure it out, Einstein.’ She tempered the words with a smile but the smile was strained. ‘He’s a fine dog, Cal. You offered to take us because you thought we needed you, but we don’t. But Rudolph needs a home and CJ needs to know that he’s in good hands.’
‘But…’ Cal stared down at Rudolph. He really was the weirdest mutt. His huge, long face looked lugubrious already and he was only a pup. Imagine what he’d look like when it got some age on.
The dog was staring right up at Cal and suddenly the bounce had gone right out of him. He expected to be kicked. His tail was right underneath him and he whimpered.
‘See. He knows his life hangs in the balance,’ Gina said.
‘What are you looking at me like that for?’ Cal demanded of the dog. ‘The Grubbs aren’t planning on putting you down.’
‘What’s putting down?’ CJ asked, and Cal knew he was lost.
‘Fine,’ he said. ‘Fine,’ he told the dog. ‘I’ll keep him,’ he told Gina. ‘You walk back into my life and suddenly I’m organising swimming pools and taking care of manipulative dogs and…’
‘And what, Cal?’ She tilted her chin and met his look with one of defiance.
‘And nothing.’
‘That’s what I thought,’ she whispered. ‘Nothing. CJ and I are off to have a shower and then I have patients to see. You have a dog to care for and a swimming pool to organise. Separate lives, Cal. But that’s the way you want it. Isn’t it?’
‘And the damnable thing is that I now have the Grubbs’ dog, which they’ve been trying to palm off onto unsuspecting victims for the last two months and they didn’t even try me, and now look!’ Cal was in Charles’s office, and Rudolph was beside him. The mutt had cheered right up. He was leaning-hard-against Cal’s leg and his tail was sweeping the carpet as if he’d found paradise.
‘He looks quite a nice…personality,’ Charles said cautiously, and Cal grimaced.
‘If you grin, I’m going to have to slug you.’
‘Hey, I’m in a wheelchair.’
‘I’ll tip you out of the wheelchair and then I’ll slug you.’
Charles grinned.
‘You know, it’s not such a bad thing,’ he told him. ‘You need someone to love and Rudolph sure looks like he needs someone to love,’
‘I do not need someone to love.’
‘Which is why you’re sending Gina home.’
‘I’m not sending Gina home either,’ Cal snapped. ‘I offered to marry her.’
Charles stilled. ‘You did what?’
‘I offered to marry her. She refused.’
‘You offered to marry her,’ Charles said cautiously. ‘Gee, that was noble of you.’
‘It was not noble. And she refused.’
‘Why?’
‘How would I know?’
‘Did you tell her you love her?’
‘Yes!’
‘You’re kidding.’ Charles was still staring at Rudolph, who had rubbed against Cal so hard that Cal had put his hand down to push him away. Now, though, the hand had become a scratching post. Cal’s fingers were running along the dog’s spine and Rudolph was arching in ecstasy. ‘I don’t believe it.’
‘I’ve never loved anyone else.’
‘No,’ Charles said cautiously. ‘Maybe that’s the trouble.’
‘Look, it’s academic anyway,’ Cal told him. ‘She’s going home to the States the day after tomorrow. Our baby’s looking good. Gina could leave tomorrow but apparently she’s got some date with Bruce, crocodile hunting.’
‘So your son’s last day in Australia will be spent with someone else,’ Charles said, still carefully watching the dog. ‘You know, if you want tomorrow off, we’ll cover for you.’
‘You know you can’t. We’re so short-staffed.’
‘I see it as an imperative,’ Charles said, and he did look at Cal then. ‘You have a son, Cal. A son. Do you know how fantastic that is?’ His voice was rough with longing and there was a loaded silence. A silence that made Cal rethink. Charles wore his disability lightly but there was suddenly such pain on his face that Cal knew a nerve had been hit.
‘I’m sorry, Charles,’ he said at last, and Charles gave a bitter laugh.
‘You should be sorry, you lucky sod. I can’t have kids, and if you know how much that hurts… But you. You have a son appear out of the blue and you don’t make the slightest effort to keep him.’
That was a bit much. ‘Hey, Charles, I asked her to marry me,’ he protested. ‘I want to marry her. She needs me. She’s diabetic, a single mum, trying to raise a kid by herself…’
‘And that’s how you proposed.’
‘Of course it is.’
‘You’re a fool.’
‘What?’
‘I had a proposal once,’ Charles said, the pain on his face replaced by a look of reflection. ‘A nurse. Abigail. Abby. I went out with her a few times and we had a ball. I even thought I was in love. And then before I got around to proposing, she proposed for me. She said she wanted to spend the rest of her life caring for me. That she thought I was really brave, the way I faced life, and I had so much courage and she’d never let anything hurt me again. She said she loved me. And you know what? I ran a mile.’
Cal stilled. ‘You’re saying…’
‘I’m saying need’s no basis for a marriage. If ever I fall for anyone, it will have be someone who needs me as much as I need her. Do you see that, Cal?’
‘Yeah, but-’
‘But you won’t let yourself go there. Because of your past.’
‘You know, I really should get myself my own house,’ Cal said, raking his hair in disbelief. ‘You and Hamish and Emily and Grace. And who else? Even Mrs Grubb’s had a go at me. L
et’s sort out Cal’s problems.’
‘Well, you won’t sort them out yourself.’
‘I don’t have any problems.’
‘Yeah, you do. You have a kid out there who’s desperate for a dad, and you have a fantastic woman who you’ve held in your heart for years…’
‘I don’t need her.’
‘The household says you do,’ Charles said with a wry grin. ‘And who are you to go against the decision of your housemates? You’d be a very brave man to try. Now, tell me about this planned swimming pool of yours. Hamish says you need Wetherby money. How are we going to organise that?’
She should have organised to leave tomorrow, Gina thought over and over again as the night stretched out. She was lying in bed and she could hear people out in the living room. They were playing billiards. Cal was there. She could hear his voice, raised in protest at something Hamish was saying, laughing with Emily, and there was such a surge of longing in her heart that it was all she could do not to get up and join them.
Did they know how lucky they were-to have such friends?
She’d told Cal she was going home to Idaho to her family and friends, but in truth her family and her friends were few and far between. Paul’s illness had isolated them. Friends had dropped away and Paul’s mother had died. Gina’s parents were divorced and remarried with more children and grandchildren, and Gina was only a tiny part of their lives.
The laughter from the living room was unbearable.
Maybe she should marry Cal, she thought bleakly. It’d be better than going back to Idaho. And maybe it could work. Maybe in time…
Maybe in time she’d break her heart. To love with Cal but to never be allowed close. To always be the taker. The dependent one.
No.
So she should leave now.
But she’d thought the baby might need her and so she’d promised to stay and now she’d told Bruce she’d come with him on his crocodile-hunting expedition, and she’d told CJ and he was wearing Bruce’s hat and he was so excited…
Bruce was definitely interested.
So what? She wasn’t interested. Not while Cal was alive in the world.
It was an impossible situation. Crazy.
One more day. One day spent hunting crocodiles and then it would be over.
It would never be over and she knew it.
Midnight. Cal was staring down at Lucky’s incubator, watching the tiny chest rise and fall. Over and over. One tiny baby taking the first step toward living.
He slipped his hand through an incubator port and touched the tiny hand. The little fist opened and the fingers clung around his finger.
‘He’s fantastic.’
He was startled but he didn’t jerk. Not with that tiny hand holding him with such trust. It was Emily coming up behind him.
‘Your dog’s blocking the entrance to Casualty,’ Emily told him. ‘I thought I’d find you here.’
‘He’s not my dog.’
‘CJ says he is,’ Emily said, and smiled. She looked down at the baby and her smile faded. ‘Poor little one.’
‘He’ll live.’
‘But where’s his mother? His family? He has no one.’
‘He’s tough,’ Cal said, trying not to let the sensation of one tiny hand clutching his finger make him sound emotional. ‘He’s a survivor. You don’t need people to survive.’
‘Of course you do,’ Emily said, startled. ‘We need to find him a foster-family. They’ll have to be the best. Special people to love a special little boy.’
‘He’ll survive,’ Cal said again into the stillness, and Em shook her head.
‘There’s survival and survival, Cal. We need to find this little one someone who’ll love him to bits.’ She smiled. ‘What about you?’
‘Me?’
‘Well, you’re in adoption mode. First Rudolph and now…’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
‘I’m not being ridiculous,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘If you can’t have CJ…well, I think a son is just who you need.’
‘I don’t need anyone.’
‘Now, why do I think that’s a nonsense?’ she said. She watched as he reluctantly released the grip of those tiny fingers. ‘Why are you here?’
‘I thought I’d check-’
‘Hamish and I are well able to look after him and Gina’s only a call away.’
‘I thought-’
‘You thought your bedroom seemed really, really empty,’ Emily said softly. ‘Well, mine is, too. It’s a really bleak feeling but it’s something we’re going to have to get used to. Meanwhile, can I suggest you go remove your mutt from the door of Casualty before someone falls over him and sues the hospital for zillions? We’ve all had just about as much drama as we can stand in the last few days-and then some.’
‘She won’t talk to me. She’s got her head in the pillow and she won’t even look up when I go in.’ Jim sounded as shaken as his daughter and Honey pulled out a kitchen chair and motioned him into it.
‘Hush. You’re not to upset yourself.’
‘But what’s going on?’
‘She’s menstrual and she has the flu,’ Honey told him. Then because he clearly wasn’t satisfied she added a rider. ‘And she’s been thinking of the boy you sent away. Dwelling on it. What she needs is something to take her mind off it but it’s a bit hard where we are.’
‘Why is she thinking about him now?’ Jim was astounded. ‘I thought she’d forgotten all about him.’
‘When you’re feeling poorly, things mount up in your head.’
‘That’s why she won’t talk to me. She blames me.’
‘She knows why you hate the Wetherbys,’ Honey told him. ‘We all do. She doesn’t blame you. It was just unfortunate. For her to fall for him…’
‘Then why isn’t she talking to me?’
‘She’s not talking to anyone,’ Honey said miserably. ‘I guess we have to sit back and wait for her to get better. All by herself.’
Breakfast at the house was very, very strained. There were six medics sitting around the breakfast table. The huge toaster on the sideboard was working overtime; they were onto their second pot of marmalade but there wasn’t a lot of conversation. Everyone was watching Gina and Cal-and Gina and Cal were very carefully trying not to look at each other.
How had Cal lived in this house for so long under these watchful eyes? Gina thought. Friends or not, she’d have gone nuts.
‘Why isn’t anyone talking?’ CJ demanded through toast, and Gina ruffled his curls-more a reassurance to herself than a reassurance to CJ.
‘They’re all busy eating,’ she said, ‘I expect they’ll start talking when they finish their toast.’
There was a general regroup. Talk started.
‘The weather’s looking good,’ Emily said, and they all nodded.
‘You don’t call scorching hot and no rain in sight good, do you?’ Hamish demanded. ‘I want to go back to Scotland.’
‘Are you hunting crocodiles today, CJ?’ Emily asked with a desperate look at Hamish, as if she was pleading for support.
‘Yes,’ CJ said, adjusting his hat and swelling a little with importance. ‘We are.’
‘You could go, too, couldn’t you, Cal?’ Emily asked brightly, and everyone at the table looked at Cal.
‘That’s dumb,’ Cal snapped. ‘You know how short-staffed we are.’
‘Just a thought,’ Em said.
‘Is Rudolph going?’ Hamish asked.
‘Rudolph isn’t my dog any more,’ CJ said mournfully. ‘He’s Cal’s dog.’
‘I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Cal offered to lend him to you,’ Hamish told him.
‘Hamish!’ Em said, shocked. ‘You know they’ve only had one day together so far. Cal and Rudolph need to bond. And, besides, dogs are crocodile bait.’
‘Maybe I could lend him…’ Cal started, but got such a glare from Gina for his pains that he backed off.
Good, Gina thought. Back in your box, bu
ster. And don’t come out till I’m gone.
‘You’re sure you’re happy for me to go today?’ she said, addressing herself solely to Hamish. ‘If you’re the least bit worried about Lucky…’
‘Lucky’s fine,’ Hamish said. ‘Isn’t he, Emily? Emily’s been up half the night with him.’
‘Why?’ Gina frowned. ‘I thought he was settled.’
‘He is,’ Hamish told her. ‘But there’s a lot of people in this place who don’t seem to be sleeping. Isn’t that so, Mike? Emily? Cal?’ No answer.
‘Mr Narmdoo’s stable,’ Gina said, to no one in particular. ‘He’s pain-free this morning. The ECG changes are settling and cardiac enzymes are only minimally raised. It seems to have been a relatively minor infarct, but he’s going to need follow-up. Angiography will show whether he needs bypass surgery.’
‘He won’t have it even if he needs it,’ Hamish told her. ‘Most of the people from the settlement refuse to go to the city. That’s why we had Simon…’ He paused and looked at Em. ‘Um. Simon was our cardiologist.’
‘He may come back,’ Em said stoutly. ‘He just…needed to go.’
‘If he doesn’t then we’re in trouble,’ Hamish told her. ‘A cardiologist and a surgeon-like, for instance, you and Cal-can save a lot of lives up here.’
‘I think I hear Bruce,’ Gina said abruptly, and rose from the table. ‘Coming, CJ?’
‘I haven’t finished my toast.’
‘I’ll meet you on the veranda,’ Gina told him. ‘It’s getting a bit hot in here.’
Cal watched them go from the veranda.
Gina and CJ and Bruce the crocodile hunter.
‘We can manage without you.’ Charles was right beside him and he swore.
‘One day you’ll give me a heart attack.’
‘Then you’ll need a cardiologist.’
‘Leave it, Charles.’
‘I’m serious,’ Charles told him. ‘Miraculous as it seems, everything here seems quiet. If you want to go croc hunting with your son…’
‘Charles, leave it.’
‘He is your son, Cal. He’s going back to the States tomorrow.’
‘I don’t need a family,’ Cal growled.
His Secret Love-Child Page 15
