AJ couldn’t help but smile. The woman always claimed she was clueless when it came to this parenting thing, but Milly had settled into it like she’d been born with the maternal gene. Sometimes she made him feel as though he was all thumbs, unsure what to do next.
Some people didn’t know how to take Milly. She was overbearing, but deep down, it was only because she cared deeply for her friends and family. She had played a part in hooking up several of her friends, including nudging her best friend, Gannon, toward Cam almost two years ago. Milly had also stepped in and helped to rekindle the love Noah and Dare had from long ago.
And yes, there was something about Milly that drove him absolutely batshit crazy. It might’ve been her crooked smile, or the way she laughed so hard she cried. Perhaps it was her instigating nature, always ensuring she was sticking her nose where it didn’t belong.
But most of all, AJ admired her heart. She loved fiercely. He only wished she could open herself up a little and allow him to love her.
Unfortunately, Milly wasn’t having any of it. AJ didn’t think she was playing hard to get, he believed she was merely hesitant when it came to her own relationships. She allowed him to get close but not too close.
He was ready to close the gap, to move this thing to the next level. He was eager to feel her beneath him once more, to have his lips caressing every silky inch of her. His dick was constantly hard, his need for her growing with every minute he spent with her.
When he met her, AJ had thought she was breathtaking. She’d gone from sexy to luscious during her pregnancy, driving him wild without even knowing it. And now, after having Miranda, she was even more striking than before.
For whatever reason, he got the feeling Milly didn’t notice how head-over-heels in fucking love with her he truly was.
However, at some point, he knew he was going to have to tell her.
*
He was too close.
Close enough Milly inhaled his familiar scent with every raspy breath she took. And the closer he got, the more she ached for him. Every time he stopped by the house, she told herself she would confront this thing between them, see if he was willing to explore something more than the co-parenting roles they’d assumed.
If only it were that easy. If only Milly hadn’t pushed him away for so long, fearful that she would fall for the man only to have him move on to greener pastures. For most of her adult life, Milly had shrugged off the men who had come and gone from her life. However, she had always expected it, and never allowed herself to hope for something more.
Until AJ. Until she’d spent several days and nights with him, getting to know the man intimately. During the cruise, she had found herself completely transfixed with him. And she knew he had good intentions where she was concerned. After all, he had been by her side since the day she told him she was pregnant. She knew he wasn’t one of those fly-by-night guys. And still she had a hard time convincing her heart that this was the risk she had to take or she would never truly be happy.
“Come on,” he said, his deep voice making the hairs on her arms stand on end. “Let me help.”
She missed his touch, the way he so easily brought her to a heightened state of awareness. Since the night in her kitchen, AJ hadn’t touched her. Hell, he hardly looked at her sometimes and she knew it was all her fault. She had provoked him, overstepped their boundaries, and now she had to pay the price.
“Nope. I got it.” She pretended to shield the paper from his view, silently pleading for him to move closer.
His long arms came around her, but he didn’t touch. Not quite. “You’ve had your turn.”
With every passing second, Milly fell for him a little more, and when he was with her, she’d never felt more alive.
Granted, there had been some bumps in the road on their path to get to this point and she wasn’t innocent in any of it. In fact, it was her fault they hadn’t explored their relationship potential a long time ago.
Yet he was still here, being the friend she’d always wanted. And he was an amazing dad. Miranda loved him to pieces and Milly really couldn’t blame her. While her daughter was surrounded by wonderful men, Miranda’s face didn’t light up with any of them the way it did when AJ walked into a room.
From the moment she’d informed him he was going to be a father, AJ had embraced it. He had promised to stand beside her and he’d actually followed through. Even now, as he sat only a few feet away in her living room, giving in to her puny excuse that she needed help to put this toy together. It was a lie. She had already figured it out, but Milly had needed a reason to get him closer. She wanted the distance between them erased. It was time for something more.
And she was ready.
Mostly.
It didn’t matter that he stopped by all the time and called even more. Milly texted him anytime Miranda did something that he didn’t get to witness firsthand. She overwhelmed him with pictures and videos, not wanting him to miss out. But AJ was now keeping his distance from her while ensuring he remained close to his daughter.
It killed her. Every night when she crawled into bed after putting Miranda to sleep, Milly thought about AJ. She relived those moments from the cruise, from their heated movie night, the phenomenal sex in her kitchen. She was now fantasizing about what it would be like to have him there with them, sleeping in her bed, holding her through the night.
AJ didn’t seem to be catching on, though. She constantly wondered why he wouldn’t come closer when they were alone. Why wouldn’t he give in and kiss her already? They hadn’t kissed since the cruise. Not even that day in her kitchen. It wasn’t like she hadn’t given him a million clues over the past couple of weeks.
She feared she had pushed him too far.
“Hand it over,” he said firmly, as though he knew she was teasing him.
Milly hunched over a little more, her insides warming from his nearness. “Not yet.”
When his arms finally banded around her, she inhaled roughly, her skin prickling with awareness. She could’ve sworn she heard him hiss, as though touching her was more than he could stand.
“Milly.” His voice had dropped a couple of octaves. “Give it up.”
Was he referring to the instructions or the weird game they’d been playing?
“Not yet.” She tried to laugh, but it came out breathless as she felt the heat of his body against her back.
Please. Just a little more.
“Milly…”
She could hear the strain in his voice. The warning the word implied sent a shiver down her spine. Did she dare test the waters? See if he was willing to simply give in? To let this thing between them ignite one more time? Could they confront it like adults this time around?
When his hand shifted to brush her hair back from her shoulder, Milly held her breath. He was touching her. Just a light graze of his finger, but it was more than she’d gotten from him in fourteen painfully long days.
Milly heard him inhale, felt the warmth of his breath on her neck. Her nipples instantly pebbled as the ache between her legs throbbed with every heartbeat. She wanted him more than she wanted air.
Just when she thought he would finally make his move, a startled cry sounded from the baby monitor on the table. Miranda’s routine was like clockwork. Every night, about nine thirty, she would wake up, wanting to be changed and fed once more before she would sleep soundly until the sun came up.
Suddenly AJ moved away. “I’ll get her,” he said softly.
Unable to look at him, for fear he’d see all the desire she’d hidden from him for so long, Milly simply nodded. “I’ll get her bottle ready.”
And just like that, the moment was lost.
Thirteen
Pulling the punches
Three days later, Friday
“You ready to hit the gym?” AJ asked Hudson when he arrived at his brother’s apartment above the marina shortly after three.
Charger, Teague’s emotional support dog, was there to greet AJ wit
h his attentive brown eyes.
“Hey, there, buddy,” AJ greeted. “What’s shakin’?” He squatted down to pet the dog.
Although Hudson was happily married, he still found time to hang out with AJ a few times a week, mostly when they went to the gym. Sometimes for dinner or an afternoon fishing. Now that AJ was in town more, they were able to get together a few times a week and AJ found he looked forward to it.
Give me five minutes, Hudson signed back.
“Sure thing. Where’s Teague?”
Out on the water.
Because of the nice weather these past few weeks, Teague seemed to always be out on the water with clients. The marina was doing a lot of business, more so in recent years, in fact. While Teague worked mostly as a boat mechanic alongside Hudson, he did spend his fair share of time taking clients out when Cam, Dare, and Roan were otherwise busy. Most of the time they were out on the water as well.
A tap on his shoulder signaled Hudson’s return. AJ shook out his shoulders, trying to let go of some of the stress he was carrying around lately. While almost everything in his life was going by the book—he had a stable job, a beautiful, healthy daughter, friends and family to hang with—there was still one aspect that was weighing heavily on his mind. It had everything to do with Milly and their inability to connect.
After you, Hudson signed, then motioned for the door.
He was walking down the stairs to the parking lot when Hudson tapped him again. AJ glanced over to see his brother signing.
What’s your problem?
AJ laughed. “No problem. Just need to work off some of this restless energy.”
Hudson headed for his truck and AJ followed. He was used to his brother wanting to drive. And truth was, AJ spent so much time traveling, he’d gotten used to sitting back and waiting to arrive somewhere. It no longer bothered him.
“Teague doing well?” AJ asked in an effort to make conversation.
Hudson replied with, He is.
“Good. Happy to hear it.”
AJ was genuinely happy for Hudson. He’d found the love of his life and settled down. Although Hudson had fought his desires for Teague, he had finally given in despite what Hudson perceived as an age difference issue. Teague was almost ten years younger than Hudson. Not that it slowed either of them down at all.
While the couple had gone through some seriously rocky patches, AJ was glad to see Teague was no longer suffering in silence with his depression. Now that his friends were aware of his issues, they had become his rock-solid support system. It certainly made a huge difference.
They were halfway to the gym when AJ’s cell phone chimed. He pulled it from his pocket and hit the button to see the message. It was from Milly and instantly his heart rate sped up.
He could feel Hudson’s eyes on him as he opened up his text app and glanced at the message.
Would you mind watching Miranda tomorrow night?
AJ shot a quick text back. Of course not.
He took every opportunity to spend time with Miranda. Although he was still traveling for work, he was in the process of working out a deal to take over some of the local accounts so he could stick close to home. Miranda was growing up so quickly, and every second he was away, he felt as though he was missing out.
At first, his boss hadn’t been too happy with AJ’s suggestion, but when AJ told him it was either that or he would be seeking employment elsewhere, his boss had given in. Sometimes it paid to be good at your job.
His phone chimed with Milly’s response: Thanks.
AJ’s curiosity got the best of him and he messaged her again. Mind if I ask where you’re going?
It wasn’t like Milly to go out. And when she did, it was usually for dinner with Gannon so the two of them could catch up. Since AJ was usually out of town during those interactions, Cam was always in place to watch Miranda.
AJ stared at his phone, waiting for her response. When it came in, something cracked inside his chest.
Date.
“What the fuck?” AJ glared at the phone as though that would change the letters in that one fucking word. “What the hell does she mean she’s got a date?”
Hudson smacked his arm, and AJ turned his attention to his brother. He could read the unspoken question on his face: What’s wrong?
AJ shrugged. “Milly said she has a date tomorrow night. Wants to know if I’ll watch Miranda.”
Hudson’s curiosity disappeared, replaced with something else.
How the hell could this be happening? Why would Milly be going out on a date? After what had happened between them? Maybe it’d only happened twice, but still. Didn’t she realize he wanted something more from her? More than what they had going now?
AJ wanted to punch something. Namely one of the heavy bags at the gym. Maybe if he beat the shit out of it for a while he would feel better.
Then again, probably not.
After dropping his phone on his leg, AJ thrust his hand in his hair, jerking roughly. This couldn’t be happening. What the fuck was he going to do if Milly ended up dating someone? Hell, what if she ended up in a serious relationship with him? Could he survive watching her day in and day out with another guy?
Hudson tapped his arm again and AJ glanced over. He hadn’t realized they were already at the gym.
Talk to me, Hudson signed.
“Nothing to talk about,” he grumbled. “Milly’s goin’ on a date.”
What are you going to do about it?
AJ huffed. “Me? What the hell can I do about it? She’s a grown woman. It’s not like she’s tied down or anything.”
Hudson’s hands were moving again. You are an idiot.
“Me? Why am I an idiot?”
Because you are willing to let her go.
“Let her go?” AJ sighed. “It’s not like I’m letting her do anything. She’s not mine. Never has been.”
But she should be, Hudson signed.
“Maybe in my mind. But not in Milly’s.”
Have you told her how you feel?
AJ didn’t respond. Instead, he frowned at his brother.
You love her, you dumb ass. That is obvious.
“Obvious to whom?” Certainly not Milly. And if it was, she didn’t have the same feelings for him.
You have to talk to her.
Actually, he didn’t have to do anything. Maybe it was time he moved on, too. Stopped acting like a love-sick jackass.
He had spent the past year wanting Milly, hoping she would realize he wasn’t simply in her life because she’d gotten pregnant. Even before she’d found out, AJ had messaged her endlessly, doing his level best to find a way into her life. It was as though she had written him off completely the minute they stepped off that ship.
“Let’s just go work out,” AJ told Hudson. He was finished with this discussion.
If only he could be finished with Milly.
Unfortunately, things weren’t that simple. Especially since Hudson was right. AJ was in love with the damn stubborn woman.
*
“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit,” Milly squealed, staring down at her phone.
Why wasn’t AJ texting her back? Why didn’t he bombard her with questions? Didn’t he give a shit that she was going on a date with someone else?
Well, technically, she wasn’t really going on a date. It was all a ruse to get AJ to react. To see if he really did care about her the way she wanted him to.
“Relax,” Dare told her. “It’ll all work out.”
For all intents and purposes, Dare was her brother-in-law. Being that he had married Milly’s stepbrother, Noah, he was now part of her family. Didn’t matter she and Noah weren’t related by blood, Milly still considered him her brother.
“He didn’t say anything,” she argued, her eyes shooting up to him. “You told me it would work. What if he doesn’t take the bait?”
What if he hated her? What if he never wanted to see her face again?
Dare chuckled. “He will. Trust me
. Right about now, he’s a little pissed off. Probably wondering what the fuck is going on. Give him a little time.”
Milly couldn’t believe she’d let Dare talk her into this. Of all the harebrained schemes, why had she thought this would work? Granted, it had seemed logical when Dare laid out the plan. Tell AJ she had a date to force him to react. At that point, they could address the situation rationally.
Instead, AJ had agreed to watch Miranda, and though he had asked what she was doing, he hadn’t responded after that. Was he pissed? Hurt?
God, she hoped he wasn’t hurt. That was the last thing she wanted. Milly had long ago accepted that she was in love with AJ. She didn’t want to admit it, not to herself and not to anyone else, but that didn’t make it less true.
“Hey,” Noah greeted when he joined them in the kitchen. “I didn’t know you were here. Where’s Miranda?”
“She’s with Cam and Gannon. They wanted to spend some time with her.”
Noah glanced between her and Dare. “What are you two scheming?”
Milly had come over to her stepbrother’s house to talk to Dare specifically. She hadn’t realized Noah wasn’t at the fire station today. Otherwise, she probably would’ve stuck to texting. Dare was the instigator, but Noah was the level-headed one. He would likely tell her she was out of her mind for plotting something that could so easily backfire on her.
And truth be told, Milly didn’t want to hear his logical reasons right now. She was freaked out as it was.
Dare turned his head up to Noah when he approached. “No scheming. Now get over here and kiss me.”
Noah chuckled but followed through with the order. He stepped up to Dare and kissed him sweetly. Milly looked away. Not because it was getting heated but more so because she couldn’t stand to look at them. It seemed everyone she knew was in love and living their happy ever after while she was… She wasn’t even sure what she was doing besides causing more problems.
“I’d buy that,” Noah stated, “except Milly’s not talking. Whenever that happens, something’s wrong. Which likely means you’re scheming.”
Milly looked up at her stepbrother. “Your husband talked me into telling AJ I had a date.”
Clueless (Pier 70, 5) Page 9
