Willow's Wish

by TC Rybicki

  Wills took a few minutes to settle down. She apologized, “Sorry, I should be okay. You’re just across the hall and the house is secure, but it’s a bummer too; you being close helped me so much. Anyway, I was laughing because I assumed Dawn paid attention to the girls you’re interested in. They are nothing like me, so there’s no chance of us doing something. I figured by now you view me as your kid sister like the rest of the world.”

  Doug turned to face her. The fan had a glowing power button, so the bed and her face were illuminated in blue light. “No, like I told the guys, I don’t need another sibling. Tanner is a pill. That was the worst wish I ever made when I was four. ‘Please, get me a baby brother.’ We’re best friends; you’re not my sister.”

  “Okay. I don’t even know what it feels like to have a sibling, and I didn’t know what it meant to have a friend until you, so best friends suits me just right.”

  Wills made sure he corrected Momma which he did, but her version wasn’t lining up with the words Doug used. She said things like ‘never-ever,’ ‘we’re not like that,’ and even, ‘you’d never see me like a woman.’ He had said things about her being fragile and too young. Did she honestly think she couldn’t compare to his old girlfriends?

  “Dutch, I have a weird question.”

  “Shoot, nothing could be weirder than the shit I just listened to from Momma.”

  “You’re having sex this year, aren’t you?”

  He choked on air, “Jesus, Wills, that wasn’t the question I expected.”

  “Well, I eavesdropped. You know I do that sometimes. I can’t help it. I need to know what people are thinking, so a few of your friends have done the deed, but you haven’t yet. That surprised me by the way, but Rob said it’s your year. Is that true? Is junior year like a cutoff?”

  “What the fuck? Why are you asking this right now and what the hell are you doing with your foot?”

  “Oh, sorry. It’s a habit when I wake up with cold feet. Your hairy leg is so warm. Is it bothering you?”

  Doug said no, but was she serious? Her toes tickling him while asking him about sex was a bit much. He promised Momma. He promised himself. She wasn’t even at high school yet, but she was close. Wills was also his best friend.

  It’s not like that.

  Wills is fragile

  No, she’s not my fucking sister.

  Best friend.

  Doug was dizzy from the thoughts going through his mind or was it from her foot?

  “I don’t know. Yeah, maybe, I guess so. I’m a guy, and I don’t want to get labeled. Let’s get some sleep.”

  “Oh.”

  He didn’t like that. Her voice dropped. “Wait, what’s going on? Why do you want to know about my love life?”

  “I can’t believe I’m skipping a grade. Next year, I’ll be a junior. Is that what everyone expects because I can’t imagine.”

  “Whoa, hold up. You mean that question is really about you not me?”

  “What difference does it make?”

  “A whole helluva lot. Wills. No, no way is there an expectation or a cut off, especially for girls, and certainly not you.”

  “Why not me? You sound sexist too.”

  “Then file a complaint with the management. The sex cutoff doesn’t apply to you because you’re different. You’re Wills.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “It makes perfect sense. Stop comparing yourself to other girls. Just stop. Stop looking at their skimpy outfits and swimming suits or thinking you should change because you shouldn’t. I don’t want you to.”

  That was the most honest statement Doug had ever made. He didn’t want to change a thing about his best friend.

  “I don’t want to be different.”

  “Yes, you do. Different is not bad. Trust me.”

  “Well, you like those other girls, the kind that wear the tiny bikinis and are eager to do stuff with boys. I’m so afraid no one will like me in high school.”

  She was wrong. Too many guys were going to like her, and Doug was liable to fight half of them.

  Her foot stilled, and he missed the friction between their bodies. “I’m already so different. Remember where I come from? I can’t imagine I’ll be ready to let someone touch me after what happened. What if the word gets out I’m a freak?”

  Doug touched her cheek, “You’re not. Don’t worry about shit that will never happen and please for the love of God, don’t change to try to fit in. I like you just the way you are, and I have completed two years at Gainesville High School, not a damn guy there is worthy of you so don’t even consider sex at this stage.”

  She giggled, “You go to Gainesville High School.”

  “Exactly. Wills, Momma isn’t going to back down about the sleeping arrangements, but I swear my door will stay open. If you have bad dreams or get overwhelmed, I’m just a few steps across the hall. Come get me, we’ll get up together, and go outside on the deck whenever you can’t sleep.”

  “I know. Thanks. You always make me feel better.”

  They had avoided things like intimate embraces and too much contact during their sleeping arrangements, but tonight was their last night. Doug pulled her close and Wills rested her cheek against his chest. Her foot went back to work siphoning heat off his calf and they stopped talking. He was dying inside because he swore he was going to miss her more than she missed him. Would his room always smell this sweet or would she take it with her? He’d touched girls before despite his technical virgin status and not a one of them made him feel this nice.

  Doug meant it when he said none of the guys were good enough for her, but for tonight with Wills sleeping against him, he pretended he was.

  Present day

  Willow’s finger hovered over her phone. She’d been in this position many times since the blow up, too many times; she always chickened out. She couldn’t believe it when a week passed, and they didn’t speak. A week turned into a few weeks and then it was a month. Now she was staring at the calendar counting six full weeks. He didn’t come back.

  He called and texted plenty until she blocked his number to avoid temptation of answering, but she imagined he’d eventually show back up on her doorstep. The only way he slipped in his concern was via Dawn. She emailed to double check if birthday weekend was still on.

  “You okay, sweetie? Douglas mentioned you were being extra quiet. I couldn’t figure out why he didn’t ask for himself, but he said he was too busy with work. I hope you two didn’t have a tiff, but that seems unlikely. Anyway, we’re planning on the whole crew next Friday. Love you, miss you, and can’t wait to celebrate the birthdays. Love, Dawn.”

  Willow replied she was fine and would be there. The moment of truth was upon her. She had to call. It was the right thing to do after weeks of being in the wrong.

  He didn’t give her a chance to speak, “Wills! My God, it’s you. I can’t believe it. Where are you? How are you? What the hell were you thinking? Did you block me?”

  “Hey.”

  “Hey, that’s all you got? I respected you and it’s been six damn weeks and you say, ‘hey.’ What the hell?”

  “I’m sorry. I have no excuse for my behavior other than I panicked and became so overwhelmed by everything: the past, the future, the here-and-now. I took it out on you and I’m calling to admit I was wrong and also…”

  He cut her off, “You’re damn right you were wrong. I’d never use you to prove anything like you insinuated and you have no idea how worried I was, but I still waited because that’s how much I respect you. What happened with the… you know, the pregnancy?”

  “Don’t freak out, please and don’t feel obligated, but that’s the other reason I’m calling. I’m not sure if you’re working today.”

  “I have the afternoon clear, why?”

  “Okay, well this is short notice and again, I have no excuse for waiting so long, but I have a checkup and an ultrasound today at 4:30 and you’re welcome to come. I mean, I’d like you to com
e, but if you can’t I totally understand.”

  Willow heard the loudest sigh of relief come from him and guilt cycled through her entire body. All these weeks, Dutch worried about the state of their friendship. But even worse, he didn’t know if she lost the baby or not. She was stunned by her cruelness. She had never behaved this way in her entire life.

  He sounded choked up, “So, you’re still pregnant?”

  “Yes, in my tenth week. I’m truly so…”

  “No, forget it. You don’t have to keep apologizing, just tell me you and the baby are healthy. That’s all that matters.”

  “I think so. I went in the Monday after the bleeding and back a few times to check my HCG levels. Everything was on target and I never had another episode. My doctor said it was a hormone thing which is common.”

  “Also, something I tried to tell you, but you wouldn’t listen to me.”

  “We’re not going to get past this, are we?”

  “No, forget what I said. We will. I’m past it.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “Starting now. I’m over it. I swear if you don’t ever pull a stunt like that again, consider it dropped.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Swear it.”

  “I promise, Dutch. I swear. Do you want me to send you a picture if I get one? We never ironed out the details if you want to know everything or not.”

  “I’ll be collecting my picture when I’m there standing right beside you.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I’m leaving at noon, one at the latest. I wouldn’t miss it.”

  “Please don’t speed.”

  “See you at 4:30, Wills.”

  He hung up. That didn’t go as bad as she feared. He was hurt more than angry. Willow expected that. She quickly texted out the address to her doctor.

  His reply was he already knew the address with a bunch of laughing emojis.

  Of course, he did. He was her one and only stalker. She smiled thinking how in a few hours she’d see her best friend. Willow meant her promise; she could never cut Dutch out of her life again.

  Maybe he had an emergency. Maybe he realized he was indeed pissed over her weeks of silence, and he hadn’t forgiven her. Maybe Dutch regretted getting her pregnant. She had no idea what the reason was, but he was late. Her appointment started right on time which was one of the reasons she loved her doctor.

  Dr. Nichols began the dreaded part. Willow took deep breaths as soon as the hot lamp warmed her thighs. No matter how many times she endured the yearly physical, flashbacks of her first one when she was only thirteen returned to her. It was one of her worst nights, but still not the worst.

  Where was he?

  This exam was more thorough than a normal well-woman. She lost count of the blood vials the nurse extracted. She hated doctors even though she deemed them necessary despite what she was raised to believe. Her only experience with the profession until her traumatic event had been a kind ophthalmologist Walt knew. He got her seeing clearly and Willow used him for all her eye health needs until his retirement. She scheduled a yearly check up with his daughter in Atlanta since she took over the practice. Willow had complicated eyesight but was fortunate to be able to use contacts which was a lifesaver during her travels. Dutch liked her in glasses. He always said so and now she was thinking about him again instead of the cold metal tool exploring her insides.

  “Sorry, I have a few extra samples to collect but everything looks good, nice and healthy.”

  She and Dr. Nichols had little time to react to a sudden loud commotion outside the exam room before the door flew wide open. Willow shrieked because she was just as wide and open. What in the hell? She prayed no one was in the hallway, but then her prayers were answered in another way.

  The frazzled nurse explained, “I’m so sorry. I told him he had to wait.”

  Dr. Nichols was a no-nonsense type of person, “Call security. Sir, you need to leave.”

  Dutch pleaded with his hands in front of him, “No, wait. Tell ’em, Wills. I’m invited. She told me to be here. I was late. Sorry, traffic.”

  Dr. Nichols looked up between Willow’s legs. She cringed that she hadn’t been able to shut them and then she covered her face with both her hands. “It’s fine. He’s with me. Get it in here and shut the door. This is so embarrassing.”

  “No worries. I’ve seen everything before.” He took a closer look. “Well maybe not like that.”

  “Dutch!” She screamed at him and he rushed to the top part of her anatomy before Willow lost her shit. Doug leaned over and kissed her forehead like nothing ever happened.

  “I truly am sorry for causing a ruckus, carry on. Douglas Chadwyk, Willow’s best friend and doctor too, so feel free to tell me everything.”

  “Oh, her doctor?”

  He answered, “Yes.”

  Willow corrected, “No.”

  Dr. Nichols appeared confused and Willow really needed her to finish. Her who-ha insisted.

  The worst was over when Dr. Nichols explained the ultrasound. Willow had seen pictures, but it was the first time she’d experience it.

  There was an initial shock she wasn’t going to scan over Willow’s belly, but her doctor said the internal one would give them a better look since she was in the first trimester. Great, more stuff up there, but it was nearly as bad as the previous exam. She quickly forgot any discomforts when the first images appeared.

  A tiny blob of white came into focus and quickly stopped looking blobbish when they spotted arms and legs. It was a baby. Dutch squeezed her hand and Willow cried. Their baby. They did it. All her doubts and concerns evaporated. However crazy their decision had been, Willow knew it was the perfect one. He was right. This was always meant to happen.

  The ultrasound was over in a few minutes once Dr. Nichols assured them everything looked healthy and confirmed Willow’s dates. She advised her to get dressed and for them to meet her in her office

  “Um, do you mind?”

  “Mind what?”

  “I’m going to get dressed.”

  “Oh. Okay. That was amazing, huh?”

  Doug held the strip of pictures in his hand. He hadn’t stopped staring since they were printed.

  “Yes, but you’re in big trouble.”

  “Excuse me.”

  “Causing a scene, telling Dr. Nichols you’re my doctor, and being late to my first prenatal. What the hell?”

  “You cut me out of your life six weeks, so I think I get a pass.”

  “Fine. Get out. I’ll see you in her office.”

  Dutch acted like he was going to sit in the chair. “Maybe I want to watch. I think you owe me a little more.”

  Willow turned around. If he wasn’t going to leave she planned to face the wall, so he couldn’t see. He saw plenty when she was in the stirrups. The second she dropped the sheet, the door closed. He was messing with her and it worked. Her traitorous body had already gotten a little excited about him seeing her slip on her clothes.

  “I want to know everything. Has she gained any weight? You know she refuses to eat meat, even fish, and she has this scruffy cat from the streets. What bloodwork did you do today?”

  “Dutch. Enough. You don’t have to answer him.”

  Dr. Nichols picked up an iPad which is where she kept her patient files. “I wasn’t planning on it. I’m still not sure who he is.”

  Willow tried to fill her in on Dr. Chadwyk. He was welcome to her appointments, and they didn’t need security if he showed up. He was her closest friend, a cardiologist in Atlanta, but definitely not her physician.

  “You know, Wills, you could sign something to release your records to me.”

  “No thanks.”

  “Plenty of patients have a family representative.”

  “I don’t. I won’t, don’t need it. So, if you think everything looks good, I guess I’ll see you next month. Thanks so much.”

  “Wait. I have a few more questions.”

  “No,
we’ve taken up enough of the doctor’s time. I’m sure she has other patients.”

  “Actually, you’re my last, but I’m certain you can fill in your friend. Willow has done her research. She is a bundle of knowledge about pregnancy. I was impressed our last discussion over the phone. Keep doing what you’re doing, plenty of water, rest and nutritious foods. Nice meeting you, Dr. Chadwyk. Willow’s lucky to have such a concerned friend.”

  He didn’t even hesitate. “Father.”

  “Excuse me.”

  “You heard me. I’m the baby’s father. I said I have questions, so I think you should answer me. I know my rights.”

  Willow’s mouth opened, but no words came out. Dr. Nichols was her new doctor and was aware Willow had her first insemination consultation with her previous doctor. She’d left that part out to Dutch the night he found her pamphlets. She saw Dr. Nichols three months ago and had only pulled out the information for the hundredth time. Her interest in a donor began the year before with her original OB-GYN, but she chickened out. She was sure to chicken out again until Dutch took charge with his insane, beautifully brilliant idea. Willow didn’t plan to lie outright when she was afraid of miscarrying. Dr. Nichols consulted with her over the phone and assumed Willow had gone through with the insemination at the facility she recommended. She and Dutch agreed to tell no one and that seemed easier.

  He was making complications once again.

  “Oh, I was under the impression…”

  Doug rudely interrupted her, “That she got turkey basted? No, I’m the father. Tell her, Wills.”

  “I’m sorry, Dr. Nichols. He is, but it’s not what you think.”

  “Willow, relax. Remember our discussion about stress? You don’t owe me any explanations. My job is to ensure you and your baby are healthy, and you are my patient not Dr. Chadwyk. However, since he is the father, and you already told me he is welcome at your appointments, I’d be happy to stay a little longer to answer his questions. Which would you prefer, doctor-to-doctor or doctor-to-expectant father?”

  Dutch answered for her as always, “Both.”

  Dr. Nichols laughed. Of course, she laughed. Dutch could charm any female he focused on. She looked at Willow once more, “Is that alright with you?”