Willow's Wish

by TC Rybicki

  “Yes, it’s fine.”

  They followed the sidewalk to the parking lot at a quick pace. “I can’t believe you kept Dr. Nichols in there an extra hour. Are you happy now?”

  “Extremely. She likes me.”

  Willow rolled her eyes, “Don’t they all.”

  “True, but I don’t care who likes me; you’re all that matters. If you refuse to come to Atlanta, I’m fairly satisfied with Dr. Nichols.”

  “Great. I so needed your approval.” She pointed to last row of cars, “I’m over there.”

  “Me too.”

  Willow clicked the car remote to unlock her doors. Dutch placed his hand on the doorframe next to the window. “You can’t be serious. Think you’re driving away without talking to me? Think again.”

  “Dutch, please. I’m exhausted. I have been at the doctor’s almost three hours, my stomach’s churning which means, I’m about to hurl, and I barely slept last night. I just want to sit in my car with the air full blast.”

  He shook his head slowly at Willow. “And you swore you were taking good care of yourself. Go around. I’m driving.”

  “But your car.”

  “I’ll get it later. You and I have issues to discuss, so where to?”

  Willow was right when she told him in the car, she needed to go home. A restaurant wasn’t the best idea. She ran past the hostess to the ladies’ room, so she could heave the watery contents of her stomach in the toilet. She made such a commotion that she wanted to hide her head and slip out the side door, but Dutch insisted she eat. He picked her favorite place because it had the best vegetarian cuisine in Savannah.

  “So, you have morning sickness all day?”

  “Not exactly. I haven’t been too bad, but if my stomach gets empty or I smell a strong odor, watch out. I’ve been pretty lucky from what I’ve read.”

  Doug ordered her a bowl of mushroom bisque, so she wouldn’t have to wait. He knew her too well, and it was damn annoying. Willow chewed on a slice of buttered baguette waiting for his worst.

  “You look beautiful pregnant. I knew you would, but I’m speechless. You truly are glowing.”

  “Thanks.” She wiped her mouth and drank her lemon water. He had to be exaggerating since she recently barfed, but he seemed sincere. She changed the subject to prevent getting swept away. “You definitely weren’t speechless with Dr. Nichols. Why’d you do that? We weren’t supposed to tell. That was the oath.”

  “I don’t remember signing anything in blood. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself once I saw him.”

  “Him? She said it was too soon to tell.”

  “Oh please, it’s a boy. I told you already, Chadwyks make boys.”

  “Tanner has a girl.”

  “So, Carly claims, but I’m not convinced.”

  Willow tossed one of the bread pieces at him, “Shut up. Tillie looks just like him and Carly would never. I swear you’re so much trouble.”

  “Yep, I was trouble for you a few months ago and now look where we are. Are you pissed about the doctor knowing? She can’t tell, you know.”

  “I know. I was worried you did it because you’re still angry with me. I’m sorry. The real reason I was so pissy back there is my guilty conscience was still weighing me down.

  “I told you, we’re even. Stop stressing. It’s not good for the baby. Why didn’t you eat or sleep right today?”

  Willow’s eyes connected with Dutch’s. It was the first time she found the courage to face him. Now she was the worried one. She hadn’t noticed the hollow cheeks or dark circles around his eyes when they were focused on other things at the doctor’s office.

  “You know why. It was a onetime thing. I promise I’m taking care of myself, but clearly you aren’t. What the hell? Are you on a diet? I swear you lost fifteen pounds.”

  “Eighteen. You know booze is supposed to add weight to your middle, but when you stop eating and only drink it has an opposite effect. I could make a killing with this new breakthrough diet.”

  “You’re drinking? Why? You don’t drink much.”

  He repeated her words. “You know why?”

  Willow slid her hand across the table and Dutch met her in the middle. He squeezed her fingers. “We’re messed up apart. I hope you see that now. I missed you, Wills.”

  “I missed you too. I’m so sorry.”

  “Hey, I was wallowing, but never on nights before surgery and I prefer to get shit-faced alone. It’s important to me you know I kept my promise. You’re pregnant; there are no other women.”

  She never asked him to make that promise, but Willow felt relieved. She had no claim to him. That wasn’t their agreement, but the thought of Dutch with someone else after he’d been with her upset her stomach worse than the terrible retching she’d just experienced. Nothing was supposed to change. It did. She felt different not just pregnant. Willow couldn’t even look at him the same.

  “Where do we go from here?”

  “Can we just take a moment at a time?” She nodded. “Mom says you’re still coming next weekend.”

  “Of course, it’s our family. She loves these birthday weekends and last year we were both working.”

  “Yeah, she’ll probably go overboard. I can’t tell you’re pregnant yet. Are you going to say anything?”

  “You can’t tell because I disguise it well, but I think it’s for the best if I tell them. I don’t want to interfere with Dawn’s plans, so I’ll probably wait until the end of the weekend and then I’ll tell them. Not everything, our story. I mean my story, the insemination, the unknown donor one. Unless…” she paused. Was he changing his mind after the appointment? She decided to give him an opportunity to weigh in, “Did you want to say something different?”

  “No, sounds like a plan.”

  Willow knew the plan. She knew Dutch, and he didn’t change his mind. He made it up a long time ago, but she swore her chest ached when he agreed to tell his family she was artificially inseminated. The rest of the food arrived. She forced herself to eat or she’d pay for it later.

  Just as Dutch polished off the last bite, he asked her about showing again. “You have a bump?”

  “Yes, a little one. Most of my clothes still fit, but I rarely wear tight stuff.”

  “Show me.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes, now. Stand up and show me.”

  “You’re insane. I’m not lifting my shirt in a restaurant and you can’t tell through my clothes.”

  “Fine, but I’m seeing before I head back.”

  She swallowed the last of her ice water. They’d been apart six weeks, and now she was anticipating missing him all over. “You could stay if you want.”

  “I wish, but I have surgery in the morning.”

  Willow glanced at her phone. It would be late when he got home. Dutch needed to get on the road right away. He had a ritual about his sleep before early morning surgery.

  “You didn’t tell me before. I wouldn’t have expected you to make such a rushed trip.”

  “You invited me back into your life. Did you honestly expect me to turn that down for work? I’ll be fine, but I need to get going. Drive me to my car?”

  Willow got out of the passenger side. Doug walked around to meet her. He pulled her into a hug. She missed those arms. He didn’t let go right away. She felt his hands move through her hair and long, purposeful breaths from him. He breathed in every bit of her and she gladly gave it away. They would see each other in a week, but it felt like a lifetime. As they pulled away, Dutch caught the hem of her shirt. His hand skidded over her waistband and he rubbed slow circles over the slight swell there. It wasn’t much more of a bulge if she’d eaten too much junk food, but they both knew exactly what it was.

  “Told you, you’d show me.”

  “I didn’t. You’re copping a feel.”

  “You’re not stopping me.”

  She didn’t want to. His hand against her stomach brought back all the butterflies.

  “Do you have your p
icture?”

  His hand left her belly to pat the pocket on his shirt.

  “Yep, right here by my heart.” Dutch leaned in and kissed her forehead. “Love you, Wills.”

  “Love you back. Drive safe. Text me the story about your patient tomorrow and I’ll send you prayers.”

  “It’s a wonder all my patients didn’t die last month without Willow Chadwyk’s special prayers.”

  She covered her mouth. “Oh no, you didn’t lose any, did you?”

  “Just one, he was ninety-five and told me no more trying. He was tired and wanted to go to his wife who died the year before. They’d been married seventy years. That’s fucking amazing, seventy years together. Some people are just meant to be.”

  “Oh, that’s beautiful and sad all at once. Sorry, I wasn’t there for you.” Doug took losing patients hard no matter what and normally, Willow was the one to see him through the dark moments.

  He waited until she got into her car to leave. Willow watched Dutch’s taillights disappear around the corner before she broke down sobbing. Stupid pregnancy hormones. She couldn’t drive in this state, so she tried to dry it up, but she only replayed things through her mind that made it worse.

  Willow saw his tired eyes because she’d pushed him away. She recalled his warm touch against her baby bump. She thought about the two old people married seventy years reunited in death because one couldn’t live without the other. She couldn’t fathom that kind of love but wanted it so bad for herself. She pulled out her copy of the ultrasound picture. Their baby. All she had to do was close her eyes and she could hear the swishing sound of the heartbeat. Dutch made the ‘I’m the father’ outburst but didn’t want to tell his parents the truth. He was sweet and attentive about the pregnancy, but he never wanted a family. She knew that before she decided to get pregnant, but what Willow didn’t know was how bad she wanted to change his mind.

  Birthday weekend-The lake house

  Wills arrived first. Doug told her she should stop off at his place and he’d bring her with him after work, but she wanted to go early if Momma needed help. Tanner and Carly hadn’t gotten there which meant the house might be quiet for a few hours before their hellions ran wild. Tillie was six and Camden was almost eleven. His brother had been his polar opposite since birth. He’d had one serious girlfriend throughout high school. Tanner and Carly went to college together at Auburn where he knocked her up during their second semester. Statistics weren’t in their favor, but those two were still going strong over a decade later.

  Willow was enamored with Tanner, Carly and their impromptu family from the beginning. She dug the honorary aunt thing. Doug wasn’t a heartless bastard; he kinda felt similar about being an uncle. It was fun, and the kids were wild, but sweet. They looked up to him, but there was a catch. His niece and nephew didn’t rely on him. He’d missed most of their birthdays and rarely joined the rest of the family on the annual vacation. There just wasn’t time in his schedule, but everyone understood. Wills was fine with the way things were, but he wondered how she’d feel about it when she was overwhelmed taking care of an infant alone. He didn’t want her to resent him. One of the hundred topics they never discussed before going for it.

  A knock on his window made him jump. Great, munchkin fingerprints and he’d had the car detailed before he left Atlanta.

  Tillie’s grin pressed too close to the glass made him forget about the smudges. “Hey, Uncle Doug, we’re here.”

  He opened his door carefully. “I can see that. You surprised me.”

  “You were staring into space. That’s what Mommy says I do when I don’t want to eat my vegetables.”

  “Does it help?”

  “Nope, they never disappear no matter how hard I wish.”

  Doug laughed. He was pretty sure his problems were just like Tillie’s vegetables. He knelt down and opened his arms to his precious niece. “Give us a hug. I missed you, kid.”

  He lifted her up and proceeded to pull her to his shoulders. “Where’s Aunt Willow?”

  “In the house with Nana, I guess. How about a ride to the house?”

  “Giddy up.” She tapped her feet against his chest and Doug headed in after giving a nod to her parents. “Dad says we’re going to have cake all weekend.”

  “Yep.”

  “Cuz it’s yours and auntie’s birthday, right?”

  “That’s right. Do you remember how old we are?”

  “Nope.”

  “I’m 34 today and at midnight, Aunt Willow will be 32.”

  “Wow, you’re getting old and you don’t even have kids.”

  The truth within the lie he and Willow were about to fabricate for the family’s benefit finally hit him. Doug didn’t have time to dwell on it because Wills walked out the door and into the sunlight as soon as he stepped onto the deck with Tillie.

  “I thought I heard two cars. Where’s the rest of the gang?”

  “In the car yelling at Camden. He and his friends did something bad yesterday and Mommy says he better not have an attitude this weekend since he is so grounded.”

  “Oh, you know who that reminds me of?” Willow extended her arms and Tillie jumped to her before Doug could stop the exchange.

  He raised his voice, “Hey, watch it. Wills put her down. She’s too heavy.”

  “Nonsense, this one’s light as a feather.” Willow spun around with Tillie giggling with joy. Then she whispered something in the little one’s ear. They both laughed, and he had the feeling they were laughing at him.

  “Really?”

  Willow nodded, “Yep, all the time. Nana always had to tell Uncle Doug to lose his attitude. I still do too. He can be naughty.”

  “Ha-ha, way to ruin my reputation with my niece.”

  Willow sat Tillie on the deck and told her to run inside to see what Nana and Poppa were up to. “Don’t worry. She still thinks you’re the best thing this side of the Mason-Dixon line.”

  “I doubt that.”

  Willow rolled her eyes. “Both those kids idolize you. It’s obvious. I hope Camden isn’t giving his parents too much trouble. They’re all looking serious over there.”

  “I meant what I said earlier, she’s too heavy for you and spinning in circles is reckless. You could get dizzy and fall.”

  “Not listening to you and please no overreactions about anything this weekend.” She lowered her voice, “I’m pregnant not fragile.”

  “Wills… I…”

  She plugged her ears with her fingers. He tried to stop her, but she ran inside ahead of him. This was going to be one hell of a birthday weekend. He just knew it.

  Family get-togethers had a certain order of events. The first thirty minutes was always his mom telling him how much she missed him, and he didn’t call enough. Then his father asked work questions: how many lives had he saved, had he killed anyone, and what new skill was he developing? Next came Tanner with his judgy comments such as ‘how did you end up such a piece of shit even though everyone worships you?’ He wished he had a better relationship with his brother, but they had always been at odds, competing their way through life for different things, and still keeping score to prove who was best. Tanner worked to support his family, so college took twice as long, and he did something completely unique. He started his own business. He ran a successful landscape business in the area. It was enough for him and he loved rubbing it in that Doug hadn’t found contentment even though he supposedly had his dream career.

  It was called ambition. Tanner didn’t understand. He was wired differently. Willow didn’t sit still while he endured his inquisitions. She ran around with Tillie and made small talk with Camden. Doug wanted to get her alone before dinner. He wasn’t sure when that was. He didn’t smell anything cooking which was a good thing considering his mother’s skills in the kitchen.

  “So, what’s for dinner?”

  “Oh, you are going to love it. There’s a new restaurant. Tanner has the contract for their lot, so the owner gave me a great deal. It�
�s a little bit of everything. I ordered all our favorites. They should be here any minute if everyone wants to get washed up. I’ve already set the table in the dining room. Oh, and they bake, too so they’re bringing the cake. I hope you don’t mind sharing. Neither of you minded as you got older.”

  “No, I never mind sharing with Wills.” He winked at her from across the room. She smiled back. It was a good smile. She was relaxed, happier than she had been in a long time, and he swore the rest of his family was clueless. Wills was glowing, but no one else acted like they knew anything was up.

  Doug noticed Wills pace around the kitchen while she filled a glass with water. He’d seen that look the week before. “I thought you said dinner was coming. I think Wills is getting hungry. I know I am.”

  “I thought they were. Let me call them. Are you okay, sweetie? Grab a snack if you need it.”

  “No, it’s fine. I can wait.”

  “Sure, about that?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.” He tried to warn her that was a bad idea, but she was stubborn. No one else seemed concerned about waiting to eat. Doug heard his mother on the phone. The newest delivery guy got turned around and it would be ten more minutes. He rummaged in the pantry until he found some crackers to tide her over.

  “Here. Eat a few.”

  “I think I can wait ten minutes.” She pushed the sleeve away.

  Tanner voiced his unwanted opinions, “He hand-feeds you now. When will this ever end?”

  “Shut up. Wills said she was hungry. I offered her something, I’m not feeding her.”

  “Actually, she didn’t say she was, and it looks like you’re forcing her because you think it’s best.” He did quotes with his fingers. “I swear nothing ever changes.”

  Tanner turned his back and Doug shoved him. “I could say the same about you. You’re just as annoying now as when you were a punk kid.”

  His kid brother wasn’t as easy to push around. He’d spent years building his business with own two hands. His arms were stacked with muscles over muscle and he had some height on Doug. He didn’t hesitate to come back at him in their parents’ kitchen.