by TC Rybicki
Wills purred in Doug’s ear. “You remembered. That’s my favorite and if you don’t stop, I’m bound to scream. We’ll alert the entire household.”
“Is that another dare?” He gripped her hips harder, she whimpered which drove him wild. He pumped in and out of her and she didn’t say stop again. Wills asked for more and all of him with her kisses. He gave it to her. There was no way he could stop himself from falling even deeper in love with her.
Willow was right, screaming wasn’t the best idea, so she muffled her sounds against his chest. Their lovemaking intensified until the inevitable happened. They came together perfectly. The connection between them had always been unique but being physically intimate with her was a whole new level of understanding. It was like he touched her spirt. Whereas before he could easily say he knew Wills. Now Doug would say to himself, he felt her, and it was dangerous, but it was also a privilege. Tensions at dinner had been high, but the reconciliation erased all the turmoil and uncertainties.
He had her in his bed, every forbidden teenage fantasy was realized except the mind of a boy couldn’t conjure the real experience. Doug resisted breaking the connection with her. If she hadn’t been tired and pregnant, he might have done a few things to get himself ready right away, but her exhaustion was evident.
She lingered her lips against his and he held her face in his hands. “Tell me there will never be a last time for us.”
“Dutch.”
“No, say it, I need to hear it. I love you. I know it’s not the right way or the way you deserve, but at least I’m honest.”
“I can’t imagine telling you it’s the last time without lying through my teeth.”
“Good enough. I can live with that.” His hand traveled down her body, over the bumps of her ribcage and back up in between the valley of her breasts. “These have gotten downright spectacular, and I already thought they were amazing since I was a teenager.”
She thumped his ear, “You did not.”
“You’re joking. Don’t you remember how horny I was?”
“Of course, but not for me.”
“Oh, Wills, you have no idea. I spent years protecting you from the likes of me.”
“Then why am I pregnant?”
“Because my reserves were finally depleted.” He moved his hand to her stomach. The swell was more pronounced in just ten days.
“I like that.”
“Me too. Promise me something. Don’t ever let anyone else touch it.”
“That’s impossible. Dr. Nichols has already.”
“I’m not talking about the professionals, but regular people, like Carly, Mom, or crazy people that think they are entitled. Please say no. This is ours. I know I don’t have rights, but I’m asking as your best friend and lover, can you do that for me?”
Her hand rested against his, “Yes, I promise, only you.”
Willow yawned but figured one last trip to the bathroom was a good idea if they planned on uninterrupted sleep.
“Come back to me.”
“I will.”
A few minutes passed before she slipped under the sheets again. “We’re busted.”
“By who?”
“Tanner. He saw me and I’m wearing your shirt. Why did I leave my PJs in the boat? Lust fries brain cells.” He promised to get them before anyone noticed. “Tanner wants to speak to you.”
“Now? No way.”
“I think you should say something.”
“Why? He has kids. I’m sure he realizes how that occurred.”
“Yes, but we made it seem like we only did it to get me pregnant not for fun. Go, smooth things over with him. Tell him I’m okay.”
“Fine but if I come back with a black eye, it’s your fault.”
Tanner didn’t punch him. He gave him advice. “Please do right by her.”
“It’s not 1950. I am doing right by her in my own way. I love her and she’s okay with how we are. She insisted I relay that to you, so no more fighting. Wills, Carly, Mom all want us to be closer. I’m willing to try harder if you are.”
“I know. Tillie cried when Carly put her to bed. She thinks everyone is going to stay mad and our family won’t be the same.” That was deep. Doug didn’t want to disappoint those kids. “I know how you feel about her, but I’m asking for once, love her right. I’ll tell everyone y’all are sleeping in and I’ll shut her door so there isn’t any more drama with Mom and Dad.”
Willow was almost out when he got back in bed. She opened her arms, “Snuggle the hell out of me, please. My feet are cold.”
He laughed. “One hairy calf muscle coming up.”
“You remembered that?”
“I needed church after that first happened. Of course, I remember. We were crazy young, especially you, but you made me feel things I shouldn’t at the time. I love you, Wills.”
“I love you even when you’re impossible.”
Impossible? He didn’t think he was ever that bad, “Hey, one more thing. Can we please talk about South Carolina?”
Wills pinched his lips closed together. “No.”
He mumbled against her fingers, “Kit is trouble. She doesn’t care about you,” but it sounded like, “Pit, blue blah bleh blue.”
She knew what he said. “I can stand it if you talk about my house, my doctor, my sweet cat, Felix, or my love of peanut butter toast, but my job and friends are off limits. You need to trust me. I’m an adult and soon I’ll be responsible for a tiny human. You can’t micromanage these things from the outside.”
Outside? He’d never been an outsider; he was busy, but he always made time for her. He trusted Willow, just not the people she spent time with. She let go of his mouth and begged him for sleep. Doug said, “But…” She must have been desperate not to talk about this trip because she climbed on top of him not quite as tired as he once suspected and that was all it took for him to drop it—for now.
It wasn’t a dream. Willow was lying next to Dutch. She never thought much about nodding off asleep next to him. Sleeping together was nothing new to them. The stuff they did early that morning was still new, but at the same time was familiar enough to feel normal. He was changing, maybe not fundamentally, but he was yielding to something. Willow wasn’t sure if it was the idea of family yet and there were plenty of reasons to be concerned for her fragile heart. She could easily break if this ended badly, but she was willing to risk it.
Dutch was forever a part of her now. He’d claimed every piece of her today. She only needed patience, to walk carefully across that tightrope, never pushing or making demands. The presence of their growing child affected him, but he would be slow to accept how much. Willow would never stop regretting it if she didn’t at least try. He wanted to be there for her pregnancy and after all the weeks of pushing him away; she decided to see how it went instead.
Her full bladder and growling stomach became greater needs than sleep. She could grab a nap later because she probably had less than five hours counting the time before her insomnia hit, and she went outside. Willow whispered to Dutch about getting up, but he grumbled incoherently. He wasn’t ready to face the day, but he wasn’t pregnant. She had no choice.
Tanner knew about them, but he would be discreet. That was the thing about Tanner. He looked out for her and he always asked what she wanted. Dutch used a different approach. The three of them had gone round and round about issues like that. It probably looked like true sibling rivalry to other people. The truth was Tanner was like a little brother to her from the beginning and Dutch was not. He always made her heart pitter-patter. She didn’t even know how to describe the feeling until they went to school together. That was where she got an unexpected education outside the textbooks. When girls described boys they liked, she understood how she’d always reacted to her best friend and was so embarrassed. Willow was determined to stop feeling those things for him because everyone in high school that broke up usually ended up hating their exes. She wanted to be Dutch’s best friend for life, so
Willow made herself get to know other boys at school. The problem was most of them didn’t act like they cared to know her. It took years before she figured out why that was the case.
Carly and Dawn were in the kitchen. Willow passed Tillie watching cartoons in the family room, but didn’t see any of the men, “Good morning, dear. You hungry? I hope you’re feeling better today.”
“Starved and my stomach should be fine if I eat right away.”
Carly passed behind her, “Actually, it’s almost noon, so good afternoon, Willow. What kept you in bed so long? Didn’t you rest well?”
Willow’s discomfort went unnoticed by Dawn who was putting together a breakfast plate of fruit and waffles for her. Carly enjoyed teasing her. Stupid married people. Tanner was her trusted friend, but he told his wife what he saw that morning.
She tried to act normal as if nothing had changed. Willow relaxed and sat down at the kitchen bar. It reminded her of countless other times she spent hours chatting with Carly and Dawn about life.
Dawn asked if she could see the ultrasound again. Willow grabbed her purse from the end of the counter and pulled it out. “Here, you keep this one. I have the digital copy at home.”
“I can’t take your picture.”
“No, please, I can get another printed, and Dutch has his copy.”
Carly had a hint of shock in her tone, “Wait, Doug kept a copy of the ultrasound?”
“Yes, he made Dr. Nichols print two of everything.”
“Oh sweetie, why are y’all pretending? I mean, you pretended for twenty years, but you have a baby on the way now. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Carly, please. You know how he feels.”
“No, I know what he says, but how he feels is a total contradiction. Dawn speak up. You raised him. This is a normal family, way more than either Willow or I grew up in. Why does Douglas believe he isn’t capable of tradition, marriage, or family?”
Carly grew up in a broken home. Her mother had issues. She didn’t like to talk about her childhood much. She and Willow clicked early on, but Carly was a stronger personality and she always spoke her mind. Willow didn’t. She promised herself after she turned thirty she would, but today she was 32 and still had a way to go.
“I don’t know. He’s so driven and determined, but his heart is tender. I don’t think he could bear to disappoint a wife and kids if he had to miss important moments, so he chose not to add them to the equation.”
Carly held up the ultrasound picture. “Hello, he multiplied, so he needs to rewrite the equation. This is real, and I don’t believe for one second, he did it solely for Willow. He did it for himself as well.”
Willow wanted Carly to drop it. She wanted her to be right, but the last thing Dutch would admit was they were all right and he was wrong. He had to draw the conclusion himself. Dawn asked them to follow her back to her hobby room after they finished their breakfast. Willow peeked in the bedroom when they walked down the hallway to see he hadn’t moved.
Nanny was Dawn’s mother and she loved quilting. Whatever homemaker skills Doug’s mother lacked, she made up for it with her handiwork. She was just as good as her mother and had amazing modern equipment, so her hobby had developed into an art form. She didn’t make money off her creations but gave them away as gifts. She told Willow she had something she needed to see.
Dawn opened a large chest where she kept all her extra fabric. Carly claimed she heard Tillie calling, but Willow suspected she was just giving them privacy. After digging almost to the bottom of the pile, Dawn finally lifted a folded, pieced-together unfinished quilt. She carefully unfolded it and Willow recognized the style.
“Nanny made that.”
“Yes, she started it. It was her last one, but she couldn’t finish.” Dawn looked around her craft room. She remembered, so did Willow. It had been a temporary room for Nanny during her last few months complete with a hospital bed and all the necessities to keep her comfortable. They all knew she was dying; her body and mind were slowing withering away from dementia and heart disease.
Willow rubbed the corner of the quilt with her fingertips. “It’s beautiful. She was gifted. You never wanted to finish it for her? Was it too painful?”
“Yes and no, she made me promise to finish it if she ran out of time. Those last weeks she was often talking out of her head and she would wake up in the middle of night frantic to work on it. I tried to get her back to bed, but she refused because she had to finish Doug and Willow’s baby quilt.”
“What?”
“I reminded her you two were grown and didn’t need a baby quilt. I figured she was confused about making Camden’s. She also made each of my boys when I was expecting them, and you know how proud she was of the one for her only great-grandson. I thought she was in the wrong decade because of her confusion. Mom shook her head. That wasn’t what she meant. She believed you and Doug would have the baby. She grabbed my hands and made me listen to her prediction, so instead of disappointing her, I nodded my head, and I promised to finish it, for your baby. Yours and my son’s child. I never imagined the ramblings of an old lady with a sick brain would happen, so I buried this quilt underneath all my scraps. I would like your permission to complete it, but I needed you to know its history. Mother always claimed she had a gift, said she woke up the night before my father died feeling like she was suffocating.”
“Oh, Dawn. Nanny was the greatest, but she loved drama, gossip and was a little out there. Why did she think Doug and I would ever have a baby?”
“I don’t know, but you are. She was right.”
It had been ten years since they lost her, but this afternoon Willow felt her presence. “Of course, if you have time to complete it, I’d be honored.”
“This is my grandchild; I’ll make time.”
Dawn pointed out some material used in the quilt had been actual pieces of Doug’s baby clothes. That made it even more special. Willow planned to design the entire nursery around this piece. It was timeless since the squares represented various fairy tales and it was gender neutral which was perfect.
“One more thing, I wasn’t comfortable broadcasting this out in the open earlier when Carly asked what’s wrong with my son. I’m sure he’s confided some disappointing memories of his father to you. You probably had trouble understanding that. The year you arrived, Walt began to change. You know a better version of the man I married, but I have a confession. It’s something even the boys don’t know. The beginning of that summer, I gave Walter an ultimatum. He was rarely home. When he was, he still wasn’t present with me or the children. He was a workaholic, and I was proud of his accomplishments but tired of feeling inadequate as a wife. I thought he preferred his job to me. Most women would’ve suspected another woman, but it wasn’t. It was uncontrolled ambition. I asked him to change. It’s a heavy command to require another person to change for you. He had to choose, the family or the work. I demanded he cut back or he could get a place to live in the city. There was no in between. I put my foot down.”
“Wow, I had no idea. I think Dutch thinks my arrival had something to do with it because his father softened having a girl around. I thought that was nonsense.”
“You honestly helped because he’d been struggling with it for a couple of months. Douglas wasn’t the only one that saw something special in you, dear. Walt’s heart ached over your family life and it made him want to be better for his own sons. I wasn’t sure it was going to work out in my favor until our trip to Italy. My point is, I was so afraid he was going to choose differently, I struggled for years to say how I really felt. It caused a lot of unnecessary turmoil. Don’t wait. Tell Douglas. Be straightforward. I think Carly is right. He wanted the child not just for you, but for himself, for both of you together.”
Willow agreed to think seriously about what Dawn shared. “I can’t push him. He would hate that.”
“Be careful, honey. I love my son, but he is one stubborn individual. I think pushing is too gentle, you’re probably
going to have to give him a good swift kick in the ass and it’s going to need to hurt.” They both laughed. But she was so right.
Willow promised to relax and enjoy the day. It was her birthday and so far, it had been great. Being in bed with that man was a gift, the best one she’d ever received. He made her reconsider everything she believed to be true about sex. Willow didn’t think she was great at it because of all her hang-ups. She held back and always prayed it would end quickly. That was one of the reasons she had limited experience. She was quickly forgetting them too, finally burying the past hurts and even the people that had tried to make them up to her. Jason tried his best, but he was no Dutch.
Dutch knew. He was there for everything and Willow needed to consider his mother’s words. He had to be there for the rest or it wouldn’t make sense.
He was determined to sleep the day away. She was tempted to lie back down with him but decided to visit with the family. Dutch was exhausted. He got like that on his weekends off even days when they weren’t doing stuff that drained extra energy. He deserved another hour. Willow gathered her things out of her room and took a shower. When she headed to the kitchen, she heard the other voices. Walt took Camden fishing. They were laughing and telling stories. She was eager to join them until she entered the room.
No.
The evidence was sitting on a bar chair, taunting her. They were the center of attention. The pajamas and her. Everyone looked back and forth at the two of them.
“Umm…” She had no idea if it was less embarrassing to leave them or scoop them up and get them out of sight.
Walter wasn’t going to say anything. He looked out for her, but Camden didn’t understand, “Oh yeah, Aunt Willow, are those your pajamas? Poppa found them in the boat. He thought they were yours, but I said, ‘why would Auntie have pajamas in the boat?’”
The innocent boy laughed at the absurdity. Carly held it together until that point. Then she giggled. Willow was so embarrassed. Walter changed the subject and started talking about the fish not biting again. She made a run for it, grabbed the evidence of her tryst with Dutch and headed back to her room with her head hung low.
