Willow's Wish

by TC Rybicki

  Dutch was checking the monitors when she came back inside. “He’s doing great which is so much better than yesterday with him heading into surgery. I also talked to the head nurse, so we’re good to catch a couple hours of rest. She’ll come get us if anything changes.”

  “I’m not sure I can sleep.”

  “Me neither, but you need to stretch out and close your eyes at least. Tomorrow will be a long day. Please tell me Dr. Crud is gone.”

  “He is. You were out of line.”

  “Yeah, what else is new? I’m sure you’re used to it by now.”

  “I am, but that’s not a good thing. Would you mind finding our cots? I need to pump.”

  “Sure, where are you doing that?”

  “The nurses are letting me use their break room because I can store the bottles in their freezer.”

  Dutch and Willow both placed a hand on Maverick’s tiny body and told him they loved him. She headed off to pump again while he searched for beds. Her body ached with fatigue, but her mind raced with thoughts. It was already after one in the morning and she needed to be up by five, but maybe a few hours of peace would give her the strength she needed for the surgery and recovery time.

  The room was dark, parents filled the tiny cubicles in all directions. She had no idea so many sick children were on this cardiac floor that they’d run out of beds. Willow tiptoed through the darkness hoping Dutch found them empty beds.

  “Psst, Wills…” came from the end of the room revealed he found one cot.

  “I saved it for you,” Dutch rose off the bed and said he’d go to the waiting room.

  Those chairs weren’t that great. They sat there for hours while Maverick was having his tests. “You won’t get any sleep in there.”

  “Yeah, but it wasn’t like I was going to sleep with all the things on my mind. You stay. Lie down. Try to sleep, honey. Mave will need you when he wakes up.”

  She didn’t want to be alone. Without any thought, Willow grabbed him by the arm, “Stay with me. We’ve shared smaller beds than this.”

  “Wills come on, you’re overwrought. It’s not a good idea.”

  “I don’t care. Please. I need you, Dutch.” She still needed him even before this medical crisis, but Willow kept that to herself when she accepted his embrace. The couple knew exactly how their bodies fit together.

  Dutch buried his nose into her long hair before leaving a kiss at her hairline, “Everything’s going to be fine. He’s going to pull through, be stronger than ever and kick ass his entire, long life, babe. I promise. We made a fighter.”

  “I know.”

  Dutch surprised her with his next words, “We should pray together.”

  Willow had a heart for praying. Dutch always said she could move mountains with her faith. He claimed it was one of the many things he loved about her, but she couldn’t tonight. She’d prayed constantly in her mind since Maverick became ill but saying the words out loud were too much.

  Long ago, they established their own silent communication, so when Doug saw her teary eyes, he nodded. “I will. It won’t be as good as yours. God knows I’m a mess, but he’ll listen since you’re here with me.”

  That wasn’t true; God always listened, but when Dutch spoke those reverent words from his heart, Willow believed every one of their prayers would be answered. She was also reminded once again; they were always better together.

  Her body was cold, and her arms were empty when a dream startled Willow awake. Dutch left. The emptiness made her remember the nightmare. She overslept and missed the surgery. No one would answer her or tell her where Maverick was, and it was the worst fright she’d ever experienced even though it was only her mind playing tricks on her. A paper crinkled when Willow rolled off the cot.

  Woke up an hour early. I’m with the cue ball.

  She smiled because Dutch had a way of normalizing any situation. He used to leave the best notes. She had a box in the closet full of them. No doubt, Willow would be terrified during this surgery, but when she checked her phone and saw it was exactly one hour until they’d take him back, peace washed over her.

  Saying goodbye to Maverick when the team was ready was tough but watching Dutch face his fears broke Willow’s heart. He faked assurance this whole time for her sake. He liked to fix things himself, and this time that wasn’t possible. He tried to ask in private, but she overheard him tell Dr. Critchfield he wanted to scrub in.

  “Absolutely not.”

  “Come on, Nate. We go way back. I’m only asking to be in there to observe not do the surgery. You have the authority to let me in that OR.”

  “No, you come on, Doug. I’m not stupid. I pulled all Maverick’s records from birth to present. The answer is without a doubt no. You and I both know why that is. Step aside, trust my team to fix your boy’s heart and stay with his mother. That’s the only place you need to be today.”

  Dutch got a little louder, “Fine, I’ll stay in the observation area.” Maverick’s doctor still refused. “I’ll find my way around your bullshit rules then.”

  Dr. Critchfield threatened to call security if Dutch came anywhere near the OR.

  That’s when he broke down, “It’s just... I need to know.”

  “You will. I’ll send updates as often as I can.”

  Doug didn’t accept the answer; he went to the window without another word.

  Dawn wrapped her arms around Willow, “Sweetie. Come sit down. Walt’s going to get food and coffee.”

  “I can’t. My stomach is in knots.”

  Tanner was angry, “What the hell is wrong with him? He should be with Willow not pouting in the corner.”

  “Tanner, it’s fine. Dutch needs to be alone right now. He’s not used to the family waiting room. He is still here even if it’s not how we want.”

  Dutch was technically there with all of them, but he was as far across the room as he could get. They had a few good minutes together before they took the baby back and last night was a huge comfort. Willow wouldn’t press him. She allowed him to handle his worry however he needed to.

  A nurse came through the double doors about that time and told them Maverick was under anesthesia, and they had just started the surgery. She’d be back often to give updates. She added that it was expected to be a lengthy procedure. Willow’s stomach twisted a little more. No way was she holding down anything.

  “What the hell is he doing now?”

  Willow turned with the rest of the family to observe Dutch at the window. His back moved and flexed with the rise and fall of his shoulders, and his hands were in motion, but it wasn’t clear what he was doing with them.

  “Dad do something. He’ll listen to you. He needs to stop brooding about not being the top doctor today and support Willow. Let’s drag his ass over here. He looks insane.”

  Walt considered Tanner’s words before the two men took a step in Doug’s direction. Then it hit Willow. She knew what Dutch was doing. He couldn’t observe the surgery and losing that control was killing him, so he was doing the surgery himself. He was acting out the surgery in real time at the window as soon as the nurse informed them the doctors had started.

  Willow stopped Walt with her hand on his arm. “No, let me go, but I’m not stopping him or asking him to join us. Could you all please respect our privacy even if we stay by the window all morning?”

  She tiptoed over and stepped behind Dutch. Willow’s arms wrapped around his waist, her chest pressed against back, and his whole body went rigid. “Don’t stop. Keep going. If it helps you to know what’s happening in that OR, then I want to know too. I’m not going anywhere.”

  And she didn’t.

  Willow held onto Dutch until her legs throbbed, and her body trembled from lack of sleep or sustenance, but she convinced herself she didn’t need water or food. She only needed Dutch because he knew exactly how this surgery should go and if he did those motions watching his reflection in a plate-glass window, Maverick was still with them. His heart was being rep
aired, and he would pull through. She didn’t know what the rest of the family thought. They pretended not to notice the strange display in the corner of the room. Craig arrived, and later Kit came bearing donuts and a carafe of coffee. Willow wasn’t oblivious to their conversations and Dutch probably wasn’t either. He paused each time they got the official update to sync his response with what was relayed about the surgery.

  She appreciated Walt more than ever because he was the one that calmed Dawn’s fears. She didn’t believe what they were doing was healthy. Craig wanted to check on her. Kit wanted to bring them a cup of coffee, but Walt said, “No, let them do this their way.”

  Willow had no sense of time, but Dutch did the minute he finished. He ceased all movements with his hands and turned toward Willow, “It’s done, or it should be. It should be over right now give or take ten minutes if it all went smoothly.” Willow nodded and covered her mouth. She was trembling from exhaustion and emotion. “He’s okay. I know it. Everything’s okay. Come on. Let’s get your blood sugar up.”

  Dutch pulled Willow across the room to join the rest of the family. No one said much about what they’d witnessed. Craig couldn’t even look Willow in the eyes. Kit slid her hand over Willow’s. “I saved your favorite cake one.”

  “Thanks, Hun.”

  “That’s what friends are for. I love you.”

  Willow leaned on Katrina’s shoulder. She had come through for her in many ways for the first time in this lopsided friendship and she loved her too.

  Doug pushed Kit’s buttons like old times, “Where’s my favorite donut, huh?”

  “Please. I don’t have time to waste learning your favorites, Dr. Doug. I only focus on my bestie.” She ended that statement by sticking her tongue out.

  Willow knew all Dutch’s favorites, “It’s plain ole glazed.”

  Kit rolled her eyes, “Of course, it is. Well, have at it. There’s three glazed left. You can slip my tip in the front pocket of my purse.”

  Doug shocked everyone by leaning over and giving Kit a kiss on the cheek, “I don’t have any cash with me, but thanks.”

  “A kiss for a donut? Wow, that’s the most generous you’ve ever been.”

  “No, the kiss was for other things. Thanks for being there for Wills when I wasn’t.”

  Willow expected an update any second that the surgery ended after another ten minutes ticked off the clock. The small bites of donut she consumed were making uncomfortable waves inside her nervous stomach. Dutch said, give or take ten minutes, but when fifteen more minutes elapsed, he became agitated.

  “It should be over. Where the hell are they?”

  Dawn tried to be a voice of reason. “You can’t know for sure, son. You aren’t in there.”

  “I should have been, but I know. It should be over if the surgery went well. Something’s not right.” Tears spilled from Willow’s eyes and Dutch apologized, “I’m sorry. That doesn’t mean the worst, but something unexpected happened. I’m going to go back and find out.”

  Dutch walked up to the surgery doors and knocked. Eventually, someone they hadn’t seen before peeked out. She wanted to know what patient, but he wasn’t going to take the standard answer from this employee that she’d check on Maverick’s status. He pushed his way inside and went to find out for himself. Willow hoped Dutch didn’t get thrown out or arrested, but even more, she hoped he found the answers and that they were all good.

  After another half hour, she was this close to losing it. Kit tried to keep her calm. Craig wrapped his arm around her and promised surgery times were approximate, just because it was taking longer than normal was not a bad sign.

  “I hope Dutch isn’t being held by security. I’m sure he went back there with an attitude.”

  Craig shocked her, “I highly doubt they called security on a worried father.”

  Willow froze, Kit surprised her too, “Finally, so we’re all admitting it now, I guess.”

  “Wait, you know too?”

  “Honey, I knew the first time you texted a picture. I was like oh damn that’s a little Chadwyk. I cursed and blessed Dr. Doug in the same breath for giving you that precious boy. You two are a hot mess and that’s something coming from the likes of me.”

  “I can’t believe you didn’t say something.”

  “You weren’t ready to talk about it. I figured when you were, I’d listen.”

  Willow squeezed Kit’s hand and turned to face Craig who she’d blatantly lied to, “I’m sorry, it’s just… so complicated. Only our family knew. Who told you?”

  “Well, I had my suspicions last night. He was too emotional to be just a friend or even a concerned uncle, but today I knew. As soon as I observed you by the window for the entire morning, I knew for sure.”

  Tanner chimed in as always, “Hell, Willow, the whole hospital knows. People came by and took pictures of you, I’m sure. It was a touching spectacle. Freaking Mom and Carly cried the entire time.”

  Carly wrapped her arms around her husband, “So did you, tough guy. It was the single most moving scene I’ve ever witnessed. You two feed each other’s souls without even speaking.”

  Her family gave her a few minutes of distraction, but the double doors opened wide and Willow was face to face with Dutch. He came out alone. There was no security or other hospital staff and for once in her life, she couldn’t read his expression. He took several strides toward her before falling at Willow’s feet. She wrapped her arms around his head and Doug began to sob against her lap,

  Willow fell forward and wailed in his ear, “No, please no. He’s not.”

  Dutch quickly raised his head, reached up to hold her face in his hands. “He’s alive. He made it, Wills. He’s perfect. Mave’s going to be just fine. Sorry, I scared you. I was overwhelmed when I saw you. The gravity of it all came crashing down that we could have lost our miracle, but we didn’t.”

  “Are you sure he’s fine?”

  “Positive. There were no setbacks or complications. It just took longer because the defect was a little worse than Nate thought. He was only being extra cautious. Maverick shouldn’t ever need another surgery either. This is the best outcome we prayed for.”

  “Did you see him?”

  “Yeah, only a minute. I broke the rules.”

  “Of course, you did. Can I see him now?”

  Dutch said Dr. Critchfield should be out soon to explain everything in greater detail, and then he’d let them go to recovery. Maverick would stay on the critical care unit a few days and then would be moved into a regular room depending on certain milestones after surgery. “Nate said if all goes well, he would expect him to go home in a week tops.”

  “A week?” That was great news. She had a million questions and couldn’t wait to see their son, touch him, hold him, and feed him again, but Willow spent the next few minutes of elation hugging all her family just appreciating he was going to be okay.

  Dutch even clapped Craig on the back, “Sorry about before. I’m an asshole. Wills probably told you.”

  Craig made them all laugh when he confirmed it, “Yes, actually she said that a few times.”

  “I’m sure she did,” Dutch winked at her. She was tempted to run into his arms and tell him how much she still loved him and how she always would, but she kept it to herself because she remembered Cambridge. He had to go back to Atlanta the next day to catch his redeye flight to London. No one else had brought it up, but if Maverick was okay, then she assumed his plans would not change.

  Three days later

  Maverick defied all the odds. Doug hung up the phone with Tanner since he was the only one in the loop. He made it to the regular room a day before they expected him to. Willow informed his brother, Maverick was feeding well again, and he’d regained almost half a pound after the weight loss he experienced. All the expected milestones were met and surpassed. The surgical incision was healing well. Chances were Maverick would be released a day shy of the week-long stay.

  Doug left twenty-four hour
s after the surgery. It gutted him. Leaving them was the last thing he wanted to do, but he had no choice. Cambridge was a day away, and he was faced important tasks. His future depended on it. Willow pretended she understood, and she acted cool with his decision for once. She promised to show some leniency and keep contact for Maverick’s sake. There was no longer a legal document in place forbidding Dutch rights for his son or denying he was the true father. Willow was an awful liar because he knew she still hated this fellowship in England existed.

  Good thing, Doug wasn’t a terrible liar. Tanner had just confirmed Maverick’s new room number and that the whole family was visiting, minus the pediatrician that accepted his fate with Willow. They’d never be more than friends.

  He considered knocking but busting through the door proved to be more dramatic. The entire group except for his brother expressed their shock.

  Willow jumped up, “Dutch. You’re supposed to be in England.”

  “I am? Why would I be in England when my entire family is right here in Augusta, Georgia?”

  Wills shook her head because she couldn’t believe it. Then she tried to think of excuses why he didn’t leave yet. “Did you postpone the fellowship? I told you, we’ll be fine. I’m going home with Walt and Dawn when Mave’s released at least for the next month and the follow-ups with Dr. Critchfield.”

  Dutch didn’t answer her. He walked over to his son’s crib who was playing with a toy, smiling and babbling without a care in the world. If it wasn’t for the bandage wrapped around his tiny torso, he would look like a perfectly normal infant. Doug brushed his hand over his son’s head, “Still bald, but cuter than ever.” He leaned over and kissed Maverick’s hands. “I love you, son and am here for you… forever.”