Gloria’s warnings against him marrying again floated to his mind. If he hadn’t met Rebecca, he wouldn’t be feeling like this right now. Months ago, the idea of helplessness clawing at his throat would have been laughable.
Peering over at his wife, his breath caught. The sun’s rays cast an angelic glow to her golden hair. Her beauty outshined the brightest star and her mind rivaled the wittiest. His chest ached simply looking at her. He gladly accepted everything he was facing. It was proper payment to be able to marry the woman he loved.
“Why did you ask me out here, Charles? The truth.” She stopped walking and faced him, although still keeping her distance.
“Do I need a reason? You are my wife.”
She crossed her arms, but the gesture appeared protective, not angry. “It has been months since we’ve done anything like this, so that puts your motives into question.”
Irritated that he had to explain himself, he thrust his hand through his hair. “I wanted to spend time with you. Is that such a crime?”
“Yes. Or rather it was last month when I wanted the same thing.” She huffed. “I don’t care about the repercussions. Right now I’m angry. You can’t do this, Charles”
Biting down on his teeth, he tried to contain his own anger. He hadn’t done anything wrong. If she wanted his attention last month, she should be happy to accept it now.
“I can’t understand why. We should be able to have a pleasant outing together.”
She let out a long breath. “Not anymore. I’m going back. If you care even the slightest bit for me, you will not follow.”
Before he could open his mouth to speak, she turned and walked away. He stood there and watched as she moved further from him, shoulders hunched and arms wrapped around herself.
The desire to run to her, take her in his arms, and make her love him overwhelmed his entire soul. But how could he? He loved her too much to deny her the simple request. Something had to be done to mend their relationship. Until he discovered what it was, he would remain back. Watching and waiting for her to come to him.
Losing wasn’t an option.
“It’s a simple question, Rebecca,” Sylvia said, using the motherly tone she’d adopted. “Do you want to have a child?”
Rebecca gulped. The question wasn’t all that easy. Of course she wanted to have a child, but how could she be sure her child would be safe in this environment?
Thoughts of her walk with Charles the other day paraded through her mind. Would he have strangled her had she not pulled away? He remained a complete puzzle to her. At times, she felt as though he cared for her. Then other times . . . She shuddered at the thought.
In the end, her love for him wouldn’t allow her to truly believe he would harm anyone, but her head remained suspicious. So many of his words and actions proclaimed there was more to him than she knew. But a child . . .
Rebecca took a deep breath. “Of course I want a child. More now than before. But Charles—”
“Is a man and can be persuaded.”
Shaking her head, Rebecca leaned back in her chair. “It’s not as simple as that. Not to mention that we aren’t exactly speaking right now but . . .”
She stopped. Her relationship with Sylvia had developed into more of a mother and daughter one, so she knew her friend would listen without judgment. But this was different. She wasn’t sure she wanted to voice her fears. Even to herself.
“But what? Tell me what’s really bothering you.”
“I don’t think Charles wants a baby anymore. If we conceive one, and he doesn’t want us, what will I do?”
Sylvia’s eyes pierced through her. “Would you still want a baby if he doesn’t?”
Rebecca nodded, but couldn’t speak further.
“Enough that you’d be willing to trade this life for one?” Sylvia waved a hand to encompass the lavishly decorated room.
Again Rebecca nodded.
“Then go to your husband tonight. Your body is in a prime cycle. You will have your wish. Then, if for some strange reason, you can’t convince him to accept you and his heir, come live with me.”
Stunned, Rebecca sat staring at the woman who’d already devoted so much of her time to be here. Now she opened her home. Rebecca wanted to cry.
“Truly?”
“Yes. You and I have lived together amicably thus far. I don’t see that changing in the future.”
Unable to help herself, she gave her friend a tight squeeze. “Thank you. I sincerely hope it doesn’t come to that, but I am forever grateful for your offer. I spent my entire life without options, but everything is different now.”
“Don’t begin to pack your trunks yet. I still have hope for your husband. Now, if the earl is against conception, you have work to do. Use your wiles. Use everything you have. Heal your marriage.”
Rebecca chewed on her bottom lip. If she could produce an heir for Charles, would it make him love her? She desperately wanted it to be so. Or at the very least, she wanted to keep her family together. Determination stayed with her the remainder of the day.
Later that night as Rebecca sat at her dressing table, she thought about Sylvia’s words. Would it be possible to heal her marriage after everything they’d been through? And how was she supposed to seduce her husband? The idea felt foreign to her, especially after the last words she’d said to him.
Needing an outlet to relieve her tension, she selected a pen and paper. Writing the next article of the Unscandal Sheet in response to her brother’s earlier letter would settle her nerves, and perhaps give her strength to enter the ominous door before her.
She grabbed for the pen with shaking hands, but she lost her grip and the pen rolled under her dresser. Taking a deep breath, she released her anger, then climbed on the floor. As she reached under the desk, her hands met up with a bump in the carpet.
Spreading her fingers, she discovered it to be rectangular in shape. Curious, she crushed herself to the floor to reach the end of the rug to free the object. Clearly someone hadn’t wanted this found. Her writer’s mind went wild at the possibility of discovering something new.
Once her fingers grasped the object, she freed it from its hiding place. Her prize was a small leather-bound book. Flipping through the pages, she realized it was a diary. Her heart pounded in her chest. This was Lorraine’s diary.
Torn between allowing the woman to keep her privacy and the opportunity to see into the mind of the young woman, Rebecca sat hunched on the floor. Perhaps reading this now wouldn’t be an invasion. Maybe Lorraine had something to tell about her death. Something important. She needed to know.
Glancing through the entries, Rebecca tried to ignore the mundane entries that didn’t offer anything of significance. Then she found a very interesting page.
I’m not safe here. Nothing is right anymore. Shadows follows me as if danger looms in the future. I feel it moving around inside of me. His child. My death. Why did this have to happen?
A chill ran across Rebecca’s flesh as she found another entry. This time about Charles.
I feel his eyes upon me constantly. Why won’t he leave me alone? Is he waiting for me to die? Hoping even? My father never should have sold me to this man. He cares nothing for me. He only wants this thing inside me.
Not wanting to read more, but unable to stop, Rebecca turned to the last entry.
My body betrays me. Nothing I do can get rid of his child or can save me. It’s over. He’s coming for me. I can feel his presence looming in this room even now. Death, please come quickly. I’ve suffered enough.
As Rebecca read, something metallic passed through her vision, and the cool metal touched her neck. As it tightened, Rebecca dropped the book, grabbed and yanked it off her neck before spinning around to see Charles on his knees behind her. His eyes were wide as he stare
d at her.
“W-what are you doing?” she asked, through her rapid breaths.
“Giving you a gift.” He pointed to her hand.
Glancing down, she opened her palm to see the jeweled necklace. Over a dozen rubies glittered at her in their intricate pattern. Shame burned in her cheeks as she realized she’d overreacted. The diary had her on edge.
“I’m sorry. You startled me.” She passed her thumb over the shimmering gift. “The necklace is beautiful.”
She stood, making sure to kick the diary back under the dressing table.
Charles climbed to his feet as well and held his hand out. “May I?”
With a nod, she handed him the jewelry and turned around to face the mirror. Her chest still rose and fell rapidly as her nerves remained taught, but she tried to relax herself.
“Thank you,” she breathed as she skimmed her fingers over the jewels.
“You are very welcome.” He turned her around to adjust the necklace. “What were you doing on the floor?”
She swallowed. “Searching for my pen, but I don’t need it any longer. What brought about giving me such a priceless gift?”
“I thought about what you said the other day. Matters between us haven’t been well for a long time. I simply want the opportunity to change that.”
Guilt flamed her cheeks. How could she ever believe him capable of harm? Although inattentive and stubborn at times, he was kind. If they could manage to survive this rough time, surely they could weather anything.
“I would like that very much.”
He smiled, a sight she’d been missing for so long.
“We may not be able to have everything, but there is no reason to deprive ourselves completely,” he explained as he pushed her hair behind her shoulder.
His words didn’t make sense to her, but his light touch and the fire in his eyes turned her insides to mush. She couldn’t think any longer. The man she fell in love with had returned.
“I’ve missed you,” she breathed before pressing her lips to his.
Without hesitation, he met her and devoured her mouth with his hungry kiss. His arms pulled her in tight as his hands clenched and unclenched the fabric of her nightdress.
Urgency built in her stomach and spread through her body. She reveled in his passion as the pleasure of his body pressed up against her and beckoned her. Too long had she been denied.
Sliding her hands in his dressing gown, she attempted to part the fabric. He caught her hands and withdrew from her. She couldn’t help but pout.
“Don’t. I can only take so much.”
“Me too.” She moved her body closer to him again. “I can only take your absence for so long.”
“Rebecca,” he growled before capturing her mouth again. “We can’t.”
His kisses trailed down her neck and into her dressing gown. She sucked in her breath, praying for his loss of control. After everything she’d been dealing with these past weeks, she needed this. Needed the connection to him. Needed their child growing in her womb again.
Untying her dressing gown, she allowed it to flow to the floor. Charles didn’t stop her or withdraw from her either. Instead, he held her closer. Running her hands along his shoulders, she splayed her fingers through his hair, holding him to her.
When he lifted his gaze to hers, she saw the intensity burning within him. She’d won the battle. He wouldn’t deny her now. He couldn’t.
As she led her husband to the bed, she tried to suppress her nerves. Would this work? Would this heal their marriage? Or would her becoming with child simply push him away again?
She let the thought disappear from her mind as her husband pressed her into the mattress. The repercussions could wait until later. Now she had more important matters to contemplate.
Charles pulled on the reins of his horse, allowing the beast to canter on. The wild ride did nothing to dispel the confusion in his mind. Nothing in his life was simple anymore. His weakness for his wife only further compounded his problem. It had been over a week since his last breakdown in resolve, but he still regretted how easily he gave into her. And now, due to his selfishness, she could be with child.
Unfortunately his problems didn’t stop there. Matters with the tenants, although having been reassured by Josiah, still hadn’t returned to normal. The whispers hadn’t stopped. Something resided under the surface on his estate, and he couldn’t discover what it was.
“Now that was exhilarating,” Gloria declared as she slowed her horse beside him.
“Yes,” he said, unable to say more.
“You seem distracted today. Our ride usually puts you in a good mood. Is there something you wish to discuss?”
Sighing, he pulled his horse to a stop and dismounted. He refused to discuss any personal matters with Gloria. He wasn’t exactly interested in hearing her opinions either.
“Are you going to help me down, or am I to remain here while you stomp about.”
“I’ll assist you.”
He took her hand and held his other arm out to steady her. Unfortunately, her foot became tangled in the stirrup, and she fell into his arms. She laughed, but he didn’t see the amusement. Instead he quickly righted her, then drew his hands back.
“The world sure has a strange way of declaring its purpose,” Gloria stated as she locked her hand around his arm.
“What do you mean?” he asked as he escorted her through the wildflowers.
“I simply find it amusing how everything happens. Regardless, you were about to tell me what is bothering you. We’ve been friends long enough for me to see you are troubled.”
“It’s nothing. I simply have many estate matters to attend to, and as such I shouldn’t have agreed to resume our weekly ride.”
She shook her head knowingly. “I know she’s a lot of work. Trust me. With as busy as she keeps me, I can only imagine the strain you’re under.”
Stopping, he pulled his hand out of her grasp. “The estate?”
With a chuckle, she gently laid her hand on his arm. “The countess. Don’t be ashamed by your feelings, they are natural. Know that I share your difficulties, and you can take solace in that. In me.”
Shrugging off her touch, Charles took a step back. “I don’t need solace. Nor am I experiencing any difficulties with my wife.”
“I know.” She waved off his words. “Just know, I’m always here for you. I’ve offered comfort before, and I shall never cease to give it. Regardless of your need, come to me.”
“Thank you,” he intoned, not sure if that was the correct sentiment.
She smiled, then walked toward her mare. After pulling herself up in the saddle—without help, he noted—she turned her horse to face him.
“I’ll leave you now in peace. Don’t worry. I’ll tend to Rebecca, and remember, I’m always here for you.”
Watching Gloria ride away, Charles wondered about her strange comments. Had she always been like this, and he never noticed? He knew she wanted the best for him. Ever since Miranda died, he could see that. For the most part, Gloria was the most selfless person he knew.
After his walk, he rode back home, more sedately this time. Although anxious to see Rebecca, their relationship remained strained. A fissure had opened between them, and he wasn’t sure how to cross it. If she needed more time, he’d give it. Or space. However, he couldn’t be sure it wasn’t his presence she required.
When he arrived home, he was told about an urgent missive. Tearing into the letter, his heart sank. The Prince Regent requested his presence in London. The Royal family had returned, and apparently Prinny missed Charles’s humor.
As he couldn’t avoid a royal summons, Charles hoped Rebecca was ready to visit her family. After all, he refused to leave her here without him.
Chapte
r 12
Rebecca glanced at the front windows, feeling both excited and nervous for the return of her husband. After spending two weeks in London with him, she’d returned to Dunmore. Although she had enjoyed being in the city, and loved seeing her mother again, she’d discovered she was with child. Even the enjoyment she’d received from researching scandals again couldn’t keep her there.
Once she thought matters through, she’d decided not to tell Charles or anyone else about the baby. Sylvia had assured her signs of her condition would not be overly noticeable until after her third month. In light of her decision, keeping it a secret from her husband had been difficult with the staff in their London townhouse. She knew she could trust Anna to keep her morning sickness to herself, but she didn’t have the loyalty of any other members in the house.
Over the past month without him, she had finally established a routine without having to look over her shoulder. In a small way, life had returned to the ease at which it was when she’d first arrived at Dunmore. Her main concern now was determining when to tell her husband she was with child.
The clinking of horse’s hooves on the stone outside had her heart threatening to pound out of her chest. Unable to sit, she jumped to her feet. Would Charles be happy to see her? Her outlook on life had changed, but had his?
“Sit down, my dear,” Gloria instructed. “It isn’t well done of you to show your anxiety.”
Redeeming the Earl Page 15
