by Carrie Elks
‘It’s fine,’ Juliet said quickly. ‘I just need to get back to the house. There’s a lot to do.’
He wanted to reach out and take her hand. To ask her what she was thinking, because all he could see was a blank expression. He wanted to kick himself, too. He wasn’t the kind of guy who kissed a woman against her wishes. Wasn’t the kind of guy who did anything that wasn’t mutually desired.
‘Do we have to go, Mommy?’ Poppy said when she ran up to them, her voice breathless from chasing Charlie around. ‘Can’t I stay here? We’re having fun. And Charlie said I can go to his for tea.’
‘No.’ Juliet’s reply was vehement. ‘We need to go home now.’
When she finally looked at Ryan, her expression was calm, yet somehow as closed as it could be. ‘Thank you for taking care of her today.’
‘You’re welcome.’
Putting her arm around Poppy, she turned and they started to walk through the trees up to the clearing beyond, which led to the backyard of their houses. Ryan looked down to see Charlie beside him, frowning as he stared at their retreating backs.
He looked as stunned as Ryan at their abrupt departure. And he couldn’t blame him one little bit.
*
As they trudged through the trees, their feet squelching against the freshly fallen leaves, Poppy kept up a constant stream of chatter about the tree house, and her plans for it.
‘Do you think we can sleep in the tree house?’ Poppy said. ‘We could take our sleeping bags up there and have a campfire.’
‘Maybe. But it’s probably going to be too cold at night now.’
‘Oh poop. We’ll have to wait until summer. Maybe we can do it then.’
Juliet opened her mouth to tell her daughter that Ryan and Charlie would be gone by next summer, but then she shut it again. It wasn’t her story to tell. She didn’t even know if Charlie was aware of Ryan’s plans to move to New York, and she certainly didn’t want to be the one to spill the beans.
When they emerged from the woods and into the clearing, her heart was still pounding in her chest, the same way it had been since Ryan had kissed her arm. Her mind was a mess, too, full of thoughts and questions that were almost impossible to answer.
From the look on his face as she left, Ryan must have thought she didn’t like the way he’d touched her. The truth was, she’d liked it too much. Just a simple brush of his lips against her skin had been enough to set her on fire, making her body feel sensations she hadn’t experienced in a long time.
Maybe she’d never experienced them. Not like that.
She took a deep breath in as they came in sight of the bungalow, but her lungs refused to play ball. Poppy ran ahead, leaving Juliet walking alone, and the thoughts came crashing down on her again.
It would be so easy to fall for somebody like Ryan Sutherland. He was funny, strong, and as handsome as they came. But there was something else, too – a vulnerability that touched her, a softness inside that contrasted greatly against his hard exterior.
Yes, it would be easy to fall for him. But there was no way she could let herself. Not after everything she’d been through. If her marriage to Thomas had taught her anything, it was that she threw herself into love too quickly, and paid the price later. This time, she needed to guard her heart.
‘Can we go to the shop tomorrow?’ Poppy said, dancing on the step next to the back door. ‘I want to pick out some flowers for the tree house. Cool ones. Like the purple asters that scare snakes away.’
Juliet smiled. ‘Of course we can.’ Catching up with her daughter, she reached out and ruffled Poppy’s hair. This was what it was all about. She was a mother and a business owner, not a teenager who couldn’t control her emotions.
Ryan would be here for a few months, and then he’d be gone. They were short-term neighbours and nothing more. She could cope with that, couldn’t she?
10
He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth
– The Merry Wives of Windsor
‘Lily, can you pass me the asters?’ Juliet put her hand out to Lily, the other keeping the bouquet together.
‘The asters?’ Lily sounded confused. ‘We’re not using asters.’
‘I meant the alliums.’ Juliet frowned. ‘Did I say asters? This damn wedding is driving me crazy.’
She had asters on the brain, thank you, Ryan. Or rather, she had Ryan on the brain. She hadn’t been able to think about much else, after the way he’d kissed her wrist last weekend. Every time the memory took over her mind she found herself blushing. Feeling his soft lips on her skin had been such a shock, and yet every time she thought about it she could remember the way it had sent a shot of pleasure through her.
It was so damn confusing.
‘Weddings really don’t bring out the best in people, do they?’ Lily mused, passing the bucket of alliums across the counter to where Juliet was standing. ‘If it’s not the bride having a meltdown, it’s her mom being overly demanding. And then there’s the mothers-in-law … ’ She trailed off, grimacing. ‘Why is it the guys have it so easy? They just have to turn up and pin a flower to their lapel. They let the women do all the work.’
Juliet grinned, her eyes meeting Lily’s. ‘That’s marriage for you.’
‘Ugh. Don’t say that. You’re such a cynic.’
‘I just got burned a little, that’s all.’ Juliet wrapped twine around the stiff stems of the bouquet, cutting them off with her craft knife. ‘Anyway, would you want the guy to choose the flowers? It’s the best part, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, guys and flowers, I guess they don’t match.’ Lily took the bouquet from Juliet and carefully slid it into a box.
Sometimes they did. Sometimes guys and flowers went together really well. Juliet couldn’t help but think of Ryan with that purple aster behind his ear. The way he’d smiled at her, the skin around his eyes crinkling up. The thought of it made her chest ache.
Confusing didn’t begin to cover it. Her feelings were all over the place. Thank God for this wedding – it had given her the perfect excuse to work late all week, and ask Melanie Drewer to help her with Poppy. It also helped her to avoid seeing the guy next door.
It was better that way. She didn’t need to open herself up to any more hurt, not after everything she and Poppy had been through. Best to keep away for a while, until things had settled down.
And she’d forgotten just how good his mouth had felt on her wrist.
‘Okay, that’s the last one, right? Let me just check we have everything before we head over to the venue.’ They had two hours to get everything ready before the bride was due to arrive. Between her and Lily they had to decorate the seats for the ceremony, and then make sure all the table displays were set up for the wedding dinner. It was so important to make sure everything was perfect.
The bride was depending on her. And so was the shop’s reputation.
‘Everything’s here. I’ve checked it twice.’ Lily looked up from the clipboard, running her finger down the printed order. ‘And Natalie’s arrived to cover the shop while we’re gone.’
‘All right then, let’s do this thing.’ Juliet grabbed the van keys from the hook beneath the counter. ‘Time to make somebody’s special day a perfect one.’
Juliet had been avoiding him all week, or at least that was how it felt. Ryan had found himself missing her at the strangest moments. He told himself it was because he didn’t have many friends. Or maybe it was the fact that Charlie was at yet another sleepover, leaving Ryan with way too much headspace to fill.
And now it was Saturday, and there was still no sign of her. He lifted his coffee cup to his lips, looking over at her bungalow as he swallowed a mouthful. The few times he’d seen her from a distance, she’d been in a rush, too busy to wave, and too busy for him to disturb her.
Yeah, she was definitely avoiding him. Who could blame her?
He still wanted to kick himself for kissing her wrist in the woods. What had he been thinking? Maybe the problem was he ha
dn’t been thinking at all. He might’ve lost the only friend he’d made since he returned to Shaw Haven, and it hurt. Putting his coffee mug back on the low table in front of him, he leaned his head back and took a deep breath of fresh air. How could he make this better? He couldn’t live next door to her and not talk to her. The thought of it made his chest contract.
That’s when he remembered the photo – a candid he’d taken of Charlie and Poppy a few days earlier. In it, the two of them were staring at a picture book they were reading together, their faces crumpled in concentration. Walking into the house, he grabbed it from his dark room, turning it over and uncapping a pen.
London,
I’m not talented enough to make you a bouquet of flowers. But we both made two beautiful children, and I was lucky enough to capture them on camera.
I’m sorry for overstepping the line. It won’t happen again.
Your friend,
Ryan
She wasn’t home – her car was gone from the driveway. And as he’d seen Thomas picking up Poppy yesterday from school, the only place he could imagine she could be on an overcast Saturday morning was at the flower shop. So he propped the photograph against her door and wandered back to the house, prepared to wait as long as it took until she made it home from work.
After lunch he grabbed his laptop and made his way back onto the deck. Placing his steaming mug of coffee on the table beside him, he decided to do a little paperwork. There were contracts to sign, banks to deal with. A few emails from his financial adviser about setting up the new business. And then there were the messages from his lawyer, asking him if he really wanted to reject his father’s offer for his shares in the family business. He sorted through them quickly, letting them distract him from the envelope across the yard.
Just before four he heard the crunch of rubber against gravel, as Juliet pulled her car onto the makeshift driveway beside her bungalow. He watched as she climbed out, carrying her usual array of flowers she hadn’t managed to sell in the shop. Her boots clipped her stone steps as she wearily made her way up to her front door. He wondered if it was the empty house that made her sad, or something else entirely.
She paused when she saw the photograph, a small smile forming on her lips as she read the words he’d written on the reverse. Then she turned the photo back again, admiring the picture he’d developed for her, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth as she took it in.
She glanced over her shoulder, seeing him staring straight at her, and he was struck yet again by how beautiful she was.
‘Ryan?’ She propped her flowers against the door. Still holding onto the photograph, she walked down the steps, and made her way across the yard towards him. ‘This is a beautiful picture.’
‘I hoped you’d like it.’ He was still sitting down. After last week’s fiasco, he was determined not to crowd her.
She’d reached the bottom of his porch. Her hand curled around the rail, but she came no further up. ‘I like it very much.’ She offered him a tentative smile, and he felt as if he could breathe again. ‘Thank you for thinking of me.’
‘It was the only way I could think of for saying sorry,’ he admitted. ‘I shouldn’t have touched you like that.’
She looked up at him. The expression on her face told him she knew exactly what he was talking about. ‘It’s okay.’ Her chest lifted as she took a deep breath in.
‘No, it wasn’t. I hate that I touched you when you didn’t want me to. I’m not the kind of man who crosses boundaries. I shouldn’t have done it.’
Her eyes softened. She was still standing on the bottom step of his deck, her face inclined towards his. ‘I know you’re not that man. I honestly never thought you were. I was just surprised, that was all. And my life’s such a mess at the moment. With the divorce from Thomas, and trying to get my business running, everything’s so up in the air. I wasn’t expecting any more complications.’
Ouch. ‘I don’t want to make your life any tougher than it already is.’
Without him asking, she walked up the steps and sat down next to him on the old couch. He felt the warmth of her arm against his.
‘I don’t think you could make it any worse,’ she said, leaning back on the cushions. ‘I keep telling myself that this time next year, everything will be better. I’ll be divorced, the business will be established. And I’ll be used to not seeing my daughter every other weekend. This is all just a transition, right?’
Her hand was resting lightly on her leg, only inches away from his. He resisted the urge to slide his fingers between hers, even if it was only a sign of friendship.
‘Is Poppy with Thomas this weekend?’ He hadn’t seen the little girl since school the previous day.
She nodded. ‘Yeah. They’ve gone to the family beach house. We used to spend a lot of time there when Poppy was smaller.’
‘That must be tough.’
Slowly, she nodded her head. ‘The house feels empty every time she leaves, and it’s all a reminder of what I can’t give her any more. A family, security. The peace of knowing where she’s from.’
Ryan shifted again. ‘You think you can’t give her those things? Don’t you know what a good mother you are?’
‘I try my best,’ she said. ‘But I can’t give her the thing I always wanted for her. My family was torn apart when I was still a kid. We were left with only one parent who never really showed any of us he loved us. And though I had my sisters, all I really longed for was the perfect family. When we had Poppy I thought I had my chance to do things right this time.’
‘There’s no such thing as perfect, London.’ He kept his body still, determined to maintain the space between them. ‘I was brought up in a nuclear family. I watched my father belittle my mother every day, or so it seemed. I watched her slowly disappear in front of me. And I couldn’t wait to leave that family behind, because no matter how perfect it might have looked from the outside, it was killing me. So don’t go around looking at all those married couples with two point four kids, or whatever the hell it is, and think everything’s amazing behind closed doors. Because it’s usually anything but.’
Juliet opened her mouth to ask him more, but the clouds behind his eyes stole the words from her mouth.
‘It can’t all be a lie can it?’ she questioned. ‘There must still be some good people out there somewhere.’
‘Of course there are. I’m looking at one of them.’ The clouds cleared a little, but there was still a tinge of sadness to his expression.
‘I think you’d find a lot of people around here who disagree.’
‘Ignore them. I don’t care what your ex thinks, or what anybody else has to say. I know you’re a good person, and so do Poppy and Charlie. You should, too. Nobody else is important.’
‘You’re such a good liar.’ She gave him a conspiratorial smile. The easiness between them had returned, and it felt as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders. She’d missed seeing him in the past week, even if she’d been deliberately avoiding him. She’d missed his friendly banter and his eye-crinkling smiles. And now she was sitting next to him again, it felt as though she could breathe without it hurting.
‘You’re so typically English. You can’t take a compliment to save your life.’
‘And you’re so all-American I bet you dreamed of being the quarterback at school.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘I was running back, for your information. And my parents would argue I’m very un-American. I’ve spent most of the last fourteen years out of the country. I can imagine what they’d say if they knew I’d danced the tango until dawn in a square in Buenos Aires.’ He laughed. ‘Or put a flower behind my ear for that matter.’
‘You danced until dawn?’ She lifted an eyebrow. She couldn’t imagine him throwing himself into a tango. ‘Really?’
‘Do you find that hard to believe?’
She shrugged, trying to hide her incredulity. ‘I don’t know. You just don’t seem like the dancing type.’
‘Don’t be fooled by the jock exterior, babe, when I’m on a dance floor these hips don’t lie.’
‘A jock who quotes Shakira?’
‘I dance like her as well.’
She burst out laughing. ‘Oh stop it. You forget, I’ve been married to a jock. He couldn’t throw any moves to save his life.’
Ryan leaned forward, until his face was inches from hers. ‘Just because I like sports doesn’t mean I don’t like dancing. I can like more than one thing, London.’ His voice softened when he said her name.
‘Seeing is believing,’ she said, pointing at the open deck in front of them. ‘Dance for me now.’
‘What am I, a dancing poodle? No way.’
She ran the tip of her thumb along her chin, unable to hide her grin. ‘Oh come on. I thought we were supposed to be friends. You can’t go bragging about your prowess and then not prove it. What am I supposed to think?’
‘I don’t have any music. Plus I can’t dance alone. Haven’t you heard it takes two to tango?’ He tipped his head to the side, grinning right back at her.
‘Well there goes my Saturday entertainment. I guess I’ll just go back to my accounts.’ She sighed. ‘It’s a hard life.’
His eyebrows dipped as he looked at her, as though he was thinking deeply. His frown deepened.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked him.
‘Yeah. I just had an idea. But it’s probably stupid.’
‘You can’t say something like that and then go silent. Now I’m all intrigued.’
He laughed, and the frown disappeared. ‘It isn’t that exciting.’
‘You know how to tease don’t you? Now you know I’m not going to leave without hearing your idea, no matter how stupid it is.’ She shook her head. ‘Come on, out with it.’
‘Okay, but feel free to say no if you want to.’
She didn’t say anything. Just looked at him expectantly.
‘I heard about this place in town,’ he said, lifting his shoulders in what looked like an easy shrug. ‘It’s called the Iguana Lounge, or something terrible like that. One of those Latin clubs where you can dance until dawn.’ His smile was tentative, as if he was afraid she was going to run away again. ‘Poppy’s away, and Charlie’s at a sleepover. We could go dancing. As friends, of course.’
