by Carrie Elks
It was getting so that his name flashing up on her screen was making her roll her eyes. There was no tenderness to his messages. She felt like just another business transaction.
So far he’d had Poppy for July 4th and Thanksgiving – two days Juliet had been happy to give up. After all, they were American holidays, and in her heart she felt her daughter should spend them with her American family. He’d promised her Christmas, and now he was trying to take that, too? What the heck did he think Juliet was going to do all alone?
She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, trying to calm the nerves that had taken hold of her. Inhaling a lungful of cool, Maryland air, she felt her heart start to slow, her muscles relaxing with the fresh intake of oxygen.
It was going to be okay.
A moment later she was rapping at Ryan’s door. She could hear music coming from inside, along with children’s laughter, and for the first time that evening she felt a smile crossing her face.
‘Hey, welcome home.’ Ryan’s smile reflected her own as he pulled the door open. ‘How was your day?’ He was wearing his usual jeans and a shirt, sleeves rolled up, his feet bare as he stood on the wooden floor. His casual ease felt like a balm to her soul.
‘It was terrible.’
‘Then come inside and let me make it better.’ He moved to the left, to let her in.
‘I should get Poppy and take her home, we’ve infringed on your hospitality for long enough. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for your help today. You saved my life.’
Ryan tipped his head to the side, scrutinising her. ‘Babe, you look beat. Come in and eat some pizza with us. Kick your shoes off, sit down, I’ll pour you a glass of wine, and you can stuff your mouth with pepperoni. How ’bout it?’
Another shout of laughter echoed from the kitchen. Just hearing how happy Poppy and Charlie were made her want to go in and see their faces. ‘I guess I could come in for a little while, as long as you’re sure?’
He grabbed her hand, pulling her into the hallway. The rough movement made her almost slam into his hard, muscled torso, and the sudden closeness to him made her gasp.
‘London, I’m certain. You’ve had a crappy day, so let me take care of you for once. You deserve to be looked after sometimes.’ He ran his palm down her back.
The combination of his words, her terrible day, and the way he was touching her brought hot tears to her eyes. She couldn’t quite pinpoint the emotion she felt, but whatever it was it was consuming. ‘I’m not used to being looked after,’ she whispered.
‘I know that, but sometimes you just have to let go. You’re a strong woman, but even the strongest need someone to lean on sometimes. So lean on me, just for tonight.’
‘We can’t let the kids know about us.’
He smiled. ‘I know that. I promise not to do anything untoward with you in front of our kids. I’ll keep my hands to myself.’
She raised an eyebrow at him. ‘What a disappointment.’
He grinned. ‘I can’t guarantee I won’t be thinking dirty thoughts, though.’
Leaning in, she pressed her lips against his ear. ‘I guarantee they’re not as dirty as mine.’ She let her breath linger on his skin, causing him to gasp.
‘Every time I think I’ve got you pegged, you surprise me,’ he told her. His expression was warm.
‘Is that a bad thing?’ she asked him.
Slowly, Ryan shook his head. ‘No, London, it isn’t. It’s a very good thing indeed.’
‘Momma, you’re cheating.’ Poppy frowned, craning her head to try to get a look at Juliet’s cards. Juliet pulled her hands close to her chest, obscuring her daughter’s view.
‘I am not.’ She felt her mouth twitch. After dinner, she and Ryan had cleared up while the kids played in the den. Then they’d all come together around the kitchen table for a game of Go Fish. So far Juliet had won all but one hand, with Ryan losing miserably.
‘Oh she’s definitely cheating,’ Ryan agreed, his eyes twinkling as they met hers. ‘Nobody’s that good at cards.’
‘I’ll have you know I spent my whole childhood playing cards. There wasn’t much else to do growing up. Don’t ever suggest a game of Rummy whenever my sisters are around, it always ends up in war.’
‘I’ll remember that.’ He was still smiling at her. How was it possible that each time he did, her heart missed a beat? Even in his kitchen, playing a stupid game of cards with their children, he still had this overwhelming effect on her.
‘Have you got any tens?’ Charlie asked Poppy.
‘Go Fish.’ Poppy narrowed her eyes, her knuckles white as she gripped her cards.
‘You’re lying, I can see you’ve got a ten in your hands.’ Charlie pointed at her hand.
‘Yeah, well you shouldn’t be looking. That’s cheating, isn’t it, Mom?’
Juliet shook her head. ‘Don’t ask me. I’m the queen of cheating, remember?’
‘Even if I’ve got a ten, I want it. I’m collecting them. So go and pick up another card.’ Poppy slammed her cards on the table, face down. The furious expression on her face made Juliet want to laugh.
‘I see she gets her feistiness from you,’ Ryan whispered, his breath tickling her ear.
Juliet looked at her daughter. ‘Poppy, the whole point of the game is that if the person next to you asks for a card, you have to give it to them. Otherwise it’s not a game.’
‘But he knew I had a ten. If he didn’t know he wouldn’t have asked for it,’ Poppy protested.
‘I did not know. And even if I did, you still need to give me the card. That’s the rules. You need to obey them.’ Charlie narrowed his eyes at her.
‘I see he gets his sense of wrong and right from you.’ Juliet raised her brows at Ryan.
‘I guess they’re both chips off the old blocks.’
‘Less of the old,’ she said, kicking him in the shin. He grabbed her leg, stopping her from doing it again, caressing her calf with his fingers. He drew small circles on her skin, sending a shiver straight through her.
‘That’s cheating, too,’ she whispered.
He winked at her, running his hand beneath her skirt, his hands warm against her upper thigh. Just as she thought she was going to have to hit him, he let go, leaving her skin cold where his touch had just been.
Damn, he knew exactly how to drive her crazy.
‘Shall we just call this a draw, do you think?’ Ryan asked. ‘Before we end up in a war, Shakespeare Sister style. I feel as though there’s going to be a plague on both our houses.’
‘That sounds like a perfect idea. It’s getting late, and Poppy needs to hop in the bath before bedtime anyway.’
‘Mommy! I’m not tired. And I want to stay here.’ Poppy folded her arms over her chest. ‘Can’t we stay here?’
‘No we can’t. We live next door, remember?’ Juliet was trying to ignore the seductive voice in her brain, telling her a sleepover with the Sutherland boys was the perfect idea. ‘Plus Daddy is picking you up tomorrow, so you need to make sure you get some sleep.’
‘I can sleep here. In fact I’ll sleep better here because there’s no horrible noises coming from the boiler.’
‘Yeah, she can sleep on my bed,’ Charlie joined in, all bad blood between them forgotten. ‘We can build a fort and eat popcorn like we did at your house.’
Juliet slid her eyes to Ryan’s. Popcorn. The word reminded her of his kisses.
‘Please, Ryan, please can we have a sleepover?’ Poppy pleaded.
‘It’s up to your mom. She’s had a long day at work, and we don’t need to give her any more hassle. If she wants you to go home, then we’ll plan to have a sleepover another day.’
Her throat went dry. The way he was deferring to her was so different to anything she’d known. Every decision she’d made in the last six years had felt as though she was in battle, trying to stand her ground while being hit on all sides.
She looked at Poppy and Charlie, their eyes big and their mouths open as they waited ex
pectantly for her answer. Her heart clenched with love for their children. ‘I guess a sleepover will be fine,’ she said softly. ‘As long as you promise to get up super early so you’re home when Daddy comes to pick you up.’
‘Of course I will.’ Poppy smiled, allowing the excitement to take over. ‘Thank you, Mommy, thank you! Can I use my Princess Merida sleeping bag? Can I wear my new pyjamas? Oh this is going to be so much fun.’ She started to clap her hands together. ‘I can’t wait to sleep here with you, Charlie.’
‘Like mother like daughter, just as I said,’ Ryan whispered.
‘Shut up, or I’ll kick you again.’
‘Feel free, as I recall I kinda liked it when you did it earlier.’ He grinned.
‘Another thing I’ve noticed about you Sutherland boys, none of you fight fair.’ She widened her eyes at him.
‘Right, Mommy?’ Poppy nodded rapidly, having caught Juliet’s words. ‘They cheat don’t they? All the time.’ She sighed. ‘We’re going to have to keep an eye on them. They’re tricky.’
‘Yes they are,’ Juliet agreed. ‘Very tricky indeed.’
20
Small cheer and great welcome
makes a merry feast
– The Comedy of Errors
‘What’s this?’ Juliet frowned at the paper Thomas handed her. It was a printout of a spread sheet, different blocks coloured in pink and blue. It looked like something she’d see in a corporate office, not on the front step of her house.
‘It’s a custody plan for next year. Your times are coloured pink, mine are coloured blue. I think you’ll see I’ve been very fair. I’ve given you Easter and Spring Break, plus six out of the ten weeks in the summer.’
She glanced behind her, making sure Poppy wasn’t within hearing. The sound of running water came from the bathroom – they were running late and she’d just gotten around to cleaning her teeth. ‘But it’s only just December. We haven’t even agreed how to split Christmas yet. Shouldn’t we talk about this in mediation?’
‘Of course we’ve agreed Christmas. I sent you a text, remember?’
‘One I didn’t reply to.’ She could feel her teeth clenching. This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have on the doorstep, particularly when Poppy was so close to them. ‘And I didn’t agree to.’
‘Well you should have told me you weren’t happy. I’ve already made plans.’
She could feel her blood starting to heat up. ‘Thomas, you sent the text yesterday. I decided to hold off replying until I’d had a chance to check my work schedule and suggest an alternative. But I wasn’t going to agree to not seeing my daughter from the 23rd December until way after Christmas.’
‘I’ll have her home by the 27th, surely you can do something together then?’
She curled her hands up, digging her nails into her palms to stop herself from screaming. ‘I’d kind of like to see my daughter on Christmas Day. She’s six years old, and I’d like to watch her open her presents and see her face light up. I know you want to see her, too, but we need to come to some compromise here.’
‘I knew you’d be like this.’ Thomas shook his head. ‘It’s pointless even trying to discuss anything with you. I expect you’d be happy if I just disappeared out of your life, just as long as I keep sending you those cheques.’
‘I’m not being like anything. I’m simply trying to point out that I’d like to spend some time with my daughter at Christmastime. And I know you would too. I don’t want you out of her life, I want her to know her father, and I want her to spend lots of time with you. But I can’t be the one to always give. You had Thanksgiving and other holidays, why can’t we share this one?’
‘Because I want to take her away. We’ve booked to go skiing in Colorado. I’d have preferred to go for a week, but I knew you wouldn’t agree to that, so a few days will have to do.’
Oh this was perfect. ‘You booked a holiday for her without asking me?’
Thomas threw his hands up in the air. ‘Oh Jesus, what do you think yesterday’s text was about? I just want to take my daughter away for a few days, teach her to ski and spend some time with our family. That’s not unreasonable is it?’
‘It’s unreasonable when you take her away for the whole of Christmas. We agreed I’d have her for Christmas and you’d have her for Thanksgiving. You’re being unfair.’
He sighed, shaking his head at her. ‘You’re making this very difficult. What is it you have planned for her? Won’t you be working in the shop up until Christmas Eve? If you think about it I’m doing you a favour.’
‘You haven’t done me a favour in your life.’
‘I married you didn’t I?’
Her mouth dropped open. She tried to think of a smart retort, but her brain turned to mush. All she could manage was, ‘Go to hell, Thomas.’
‘Mommy?’ Poppy’s quiet voice came from behind. ‘Is there something wrong?’
Her stomach dropped. Poppy took her hand, and cuddled into her side, the way she used to when she was a kid. Her toddler-like reaction made Juliet want to cry. In the months since their split, not once had Juliet been acrimonious towards her ex in front of their child. She’d made it her mission not to be. Okay, so Poppy knew things weren’t right, and knew the story of Juliet hitting her father’s PA, but she’d never heard her mother swear at her father before.
‘There’s nothing wrong, darling.’ Juliet deliberately tried to keep her voice light. ‘We’re just having a disagreement. You know, like you do with your friends at school sometimes.’
‘But you’re still friends with Daddy, right?’
‘Of course we are.’ Thomas leaned forward to ruffle Poppy’s hair, painting a smile on his thin lips. ‘We were just having a conversation, that’s all.’
‘It’s fine, Poppy. Now let’s get your bag, did you put your toothbrush in there?’ Juliet turned around, glad Thomas couldn’t see her face. A band of guilt around her chest replaced all the anger she’d felt at him.
She’d promised herself she wouldn’t be that sort of single mother. A bitter, angry one, throwing out accusations whenever she saw her ex. And yet here she was, arguing with him on the doorstep.
‘There you go,’ she said, false cheeriness still lightening her voice, as she passed Poppy’s case to Thomas. ‘Okay then, darling, I’ll see you tomorrow, have a lovely time.’ She kissed the top of Poppy’s head, inhaling the flowery fragrance of her shampoo. Her eyes squeezed tight, as she tried to commit that smell to memory. Saying goodbye didn’t get any easier, even when it was just for one night.
‘We’ll talk about that thing in the week,’ Thomas said, turning to walk down the steps. His words left her in no doubt he was still planning to get his own way.
Yeah, well, they’d see about that.
‘What are you doing right now?’ Ryan asked. Juliet smiled as she held her phone to her ear. Simply hearing his voice felt like fresh rain following a drought.
‘Not much,’ she admitted. Unless you counted rearranging the shop for the second time in a few weeks as much. Anything to take her mind off Thomas’s demands, and the anxiety that was nestling in her stomach. ‘I spent the afternoon at the shop, and now I’m beat. How about you?’
‘I had a day trip with Charlie on the boat planned out, but then he got a better offer. Apparently swimming and fast food plus a sleepover trump sailing with your old man.’ Though Ryan’s words sounded petulant, his tone was anything but. Juliet knew he worried that Charlie didn’t have enough friends his own age. It sounded as though things were changing for the better.
‘Poor you,’ she teased. ‘Jilted for McDonald’s. At least you know where you stand.’
‘Pretty much at the bottom of the list,’ he agreed. ‘Which was why I’m calling.’
‘Oh yes?’
‘I wondered if you’d like to join me for dinner.’
‘At your place?’ She sat down on the kitchen stool, leaning her head against the painted wall, trying to ignore the way his simple request sent h
er heart racing.
‘No, I want to take you out. I’m sick of sneaking around between your place and mine. Plus I’ve got a hankering for crab cakes and steak.’
‘You can take the boy out of Maryland,’ she teased, as much to give herself time to regain her breath as anything else. ‘But seriously, it’s not a good idea is it?’
‘To eat crab cakes?’
‘To go out for dinner together. It’s a small town, people will talk.’
‘Then we’ll go to another town. I know a great place in Annapolis. They serve the best fillet steak you’ll ever taste. And if anybody sees us, then we’re friends and neighbours who’ve been abandoned by our kids. What’s to talk about?’
She couldn’t deny that the thought of it was enticing. And it wasn’t just the offer of dinner that was making her stomach growl. It was the thought of him, of talking to him, laughing with him, of seeing his face across the table from her. Of actually being out together like a normal couple.
But they weren’t a couple. Were they?
Blowing out a mouthful of air, she looked around the kitchen, imagining what an alternative Saturday night would look like. She’d probably take a bath, pour a glass of wine, put some terrible reality show on the television while she fell asleep on the sofa halfway through. How did she end up like this?
‘Steak does sound good,’ she said. ‘But if Thomas found out, he’d make my life a misery.’
‘That’s why he’s not going to find out. We’ll head over to Gilbert’s, eat our dinner, and come straight home.’
‘To bed?’
‘To my bed,’ Ryan told her. ‘In case there was any misunderstanding.’
No, definitely no misunderstanding. Her stomach rumbled again, and she realised just how hungry she was, and not just for steak.
‘In that case, it’s a date.’
‘What can I get you?’ the server asked, standing next to their table with a pen in his hand. Though he was dressed in black pants and a crisp white shirt, his stance somehow echoed the ambience of the restaurant. Relaxed, laid back, but definitely expensive.
