by Carrie Elks
‘Why?’ He wasn’t surprised she’d chosen something so simple.
‘Because it made me question everything I thought. Until I saw it lying there I thought we were over, and I meant nothing to you. But then when I saw the daffodil and I realised what it meant—’
‘What did it mean?’ he interrupted. Of all people, Juliet should have gotten the significance of the gesture. But he wanted to be sure.
‘Daffodils have lots of different meanings,’ she said, her eyes soft as she stared at him. ‘But the most common is chivalry. So I guess I took it as a sign you wanted to be my white knight after all.’
His heart was hammering in his chest. He wondered if she could feel it beneath her palms. Having her so close – after all they’d been through – was overwhelming. But there was something else, too. An honesty, a vulnerability that he hadn’t had before. If he wanted this woman he knew he had to fight for her, but the person he needed to defeat was himself.
His old self, anyway.
‘You’re close,’ he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. ‘But while I was at the airport I realised it isn’t me who was the white knight. It’s you. You’ve saved me, London, whether you know it or not. You’ve saved me from living a surface life, and from giving up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’ He stroked his hand down the length of her fiery hair. ‘You’re the hero in this.’
She blinked a couple of times, rolling her lip between her teeth. Christ, she was sexy. He could feel himself stirring again, in spite of the short time since they’d come together, limbs entwined. Did she even know what she did to him?
‘You saved me too,’ she whispered. ‘You made me realise that strength can only come from within. Without you I’d never have had the nerve to stand up to Thomas.’
‘It was a matter of time. You would have gotten there without me.’
‘I don’t want to get anywhere without you.’ Her expression was so earnest it hit him straight in the stomach. He pulled her closer, needing to feel her, to breathe her in. His lips found hers almost immediately, his kisses needy, demanding, as he slid his hands down her back.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he said against her lips. ‘I’m sorry for walking away when you needed me. I’m sorry for believing you were capable of staying with that asshole.’
They broke the kiss and she tipped her head to the side, a concerned look on her face. ‘What made you think I would?’
‘Because my mom stayed with my dad even though he treated her like dirt.’
‘Is that what you were trying to tell me earlier? That your reaction had something to do with your parents?’
A lump formed in his throat. ‘Yeah.’ He’d promised to tell her about it later, and he guessed now was as good a time as any. ‘I told you about my folks, didn’t I? The way they fought all the time. And my old man, how he used to run her down constantly, right in front of me.’ He tried to push the memories out of his mind, but they were insistent. Fleeting images of his father’s derision as he lashed out again and again. His accusations that his wife was flirting too much, that her dress was too short, that her smile was too wide. Anything she did was like throwing fuel onto an already burning fire, and it exploded inside his father like a nuclear bomb.
‘How often did he treat her like that?’ Juliet asked.
He shrugged. ‘It felt constant. I can’t remember a time when he didn’t criticise her for something.’
‘But she never tried to leave?’
Ryan squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, then opened them again. The brightness rushed in, displacing the unwanted memories. ‘I think she was too scared. Or brainwashed, maybe. She’d tell me that it was okay, that it was her fault he got so angry. That it was just how marriages were. And I believed her. When you’re a kid you don’t know any better. You just want to be with your mom and dad, no matter how messed up they are.’
He was clutching the sheet with his fisted hands. His whole body felt tense and achy. ‘And then when I was eighteen my grandfather died. By that point I’d been formulating an escape plan for years. I’d go to college, get a good job, and save up enough to buy somewhere that she could escape to. Anything so she didn’t have to stay with my dad any more. When I got my inheritance, I didn’t have to wait until I graduated.’
She was still lying on him, her face screwed up with concern. ‘Oh Ryan … ’
‘The money was left in trust, but I could apply to have access to funds. I spoke to my lawyer, requested enough money to buy a small place in Annapolis. It was a new build, didn’t need any work. Close enough to Shaw Haven, but still far enough to put some distance between them. What I didn’t know was that my lawyer had decided my dad should be aware of what was happening. And as soon as I paid for that goddamned place, he called him up and spilled his guts.’
It was as though he was reliving that moment. The kid who thought he could save the world.
‘By that point, I was at home, telling my mom that she had the chance to be free at last. I told her to pack a couple of cases and we’d come back for the rest once she was settled in.’ He looked at Juliet, and saw his pain reflected back at him. ‘London, I really believed she’d come with me. I honestly thought it was that easy. All my life I’d waited for that moment, that time when I could save her from him. And when I asked her to come with me, she turned around and told me not to be so stupid. That she’d never leave my dad.’
Juliet blinked back her tears. ‘So what happened next?’
He swallowed hard. ‘I was still trying to reason with her when my dad came home. And as soon as Dad walked in, he wanted to know what the hell I was doing buying an apartment in Annapolis without running it by him first.’ He licked his lips – dry from talking so much. ‘I told him exactly why I bought the apartment, and that Mom would be moving in there to get away from him. I told him he’d lose everything he ever loved, that I’d make sure of it.’
‘And then?’ Her voice was filled with trepidation.
‘Then he started laughing. As though I’d told some goddamned hilarious joke. He told me to go to my room, and to stop being such a little kid. And I looked at Mom, asked her to leave with me. But she wouldn’t even look at me, London. She just turned away.’
She felt as if her heart was breaking for the young man he’d once been.
‘And I realised something that night. That you can be surrounded by family and still be all alone. My parents used to go on about my heritage, about the Shaws and Sutherlands that built up this town, but every day they were tearing each other apart. It was killing me.’ He rubbed the palms of his hand against his eyes. ‘I couldn’t save her. She wouldn’t let me.’
A tear rolled down Juliet’s face. ‘It wasn’t your job to save her, Ryan. It was her job to save you. She’s your mom, she should never have let you go through that. You were just a kid.’
‘The only time I heard from this place was when I got my dividends. All that time I was away and they didn’t try to talk to me. It was like they were pleased I had gone.’
Gently, she stroked his cheek. ‘They’re bastards, all of them. They don’t deserve you. No wonder you were so triggered after you hit Thomas. You must have thought I was the same as the rest of them.’
‘But you weren’t,’ he said. ‘Because you never rejected me. I just didn’t wait around to hear how you felt.’
‘That’s understandable, too,’ she told him. ‘Why would you? You thought I’d gone back to Thomas just like your mom went back to your dad. It must have felt like a kick in the gut.’
‘And yet I should have known you wouldn’t do that. You’re not her, you’re nothing like her. You’re good and you’re strong and you always put your kid first. Always.’
‘And so do you. That’s one of the things I love about you.’
‘One of the things?’ he whispered. It felt as though his chest was cracked open, exposing his heart to her in a way it had never been before. She had the ability to save him or condemn him, and feeli
ng this exposed hurt like hell. But he knew he had to do this, if he ever wanted to prove he was worthy of her.
‘One of the many things,’ she told him. ‘You want to hear some more?’
‘Yeah, I want to hear them.’
She cupped his jaw with her hands, pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth. ‘I love the way you’re so good with your hands. Watching you build that tree house was like having my very own lumberjack fantasy.’
He laughed. It felt as though his troubles were dissolving into thin air.
‘And I love the way you see things differently. The way you can take a photograph that nobody else can. You see beauty in everything.’
‘Keep going,’ he whispered.
She smiled at him. ‘And I love the way you want to save me, and yet you know the only way you can do it is by letting me save myself.’ She kissed him again. ‘And I love the way you dance, it’s like having sex fully clothed.’
He felt the hope rushing through him, pulling her tightly against him until their bodies were aligned. Her skin was warm and enticing, firing up every nerve in his body.
‘And I love the way you hold me, as though I’m delicate, and yet when you make love you’re hard and you’re fast and it’s like I’m unbreakable.’
‘I love that, too,’ he said. ‘Very much.’
‘There’s nothing I don’t love about you, Ryan Sutherland. From the way you handle a boat to the way you handle a kid. Everything about you is sexy and strong and so perfect to me. I couldn’t stop loving you if I tried.’
He didn’t need to hear any more. Instead he took her face in his hands, kissing her with a desperate need, until any words she had were dissolved beneath his lips.
She loved him, and that meant everything. All the other shit could be dealt with another day.
Right now, they had things to do.
31
Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall
– Measure for Measure
‘Well that’s it.’ Gloria Erkhart – her lawyer – passed her the papers, a smile splitting her face. ‘They agreed to everything. I have to admit I’m disappointed, I would have liked to hit them for more.’
Juliet glanced at the documents in her hand. Verification of Divorce. Beneath the confirmation that she and Thomas were no longer married, were the terms the judge ordered. ‘This is all I need,’ she told Gloria, her smile just as big. ‘I can’t tell you what a relief it is. Thank you for everything.’
‘We could have gone for alimony, the judge would have agreed to it.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t want his money. I don’t need it. As long as he looks after Poppy, I can take care of myself.’ She smiled. ‘It was the custody I was worried about, and we nailed it.’ She had seventy per cent, the way she’d wanted, and they’d be sharing Christmas and other holidays. It was fair, but more importantly it was written with Poppy in mind. She’d spend time with both her parents. ‘And I have his agreement to take Poppy to my sister’s wedding. That makes me very happy.’
‘You should look on the second page, too,’ Gloria told her. ‘The judge confirmed your name change. You’re no longer Mrs Marshall.’
She flipped over, reading the declaration on the other side.
Juliet Shakespeare.
It was like seeing an old friend she hadn’t spoken with in years. She blew out a mouthful of air, as the weight lifted off her. ‘Isn’t that pretty?’ she said.
‘A pretty name for a lovely woman.’
She laughed. ‘Do I have to pay you extra for that?’
They’d made it to the courthouse steps. A couple brushed past them, the woman wearing a white dress and a veil. One couple’s beginning to match Juliet’s ending. It seemed fitting.
Somehow the world kept turning.
‘So what else do I need to do? Is there anything else to sign?’ she asked her lawyer. She felt suddenly anxious to cross all the t’s. This divorce was hard fought for, she didn’t want to do anything to sabotage it.
‘There’s nothing else at all for you to do,’ Gloria told her. ‘Apart from to go down those steps and start living your life.’
‘I think I can do that.’ She hugged the papers to her chest as a breeze shot up the steps. She opened her mouth to say more, when she felt a shadow loom over her.
‘Are you satisfied?’ Thomas’s face bore no signs of a smile. His dark hair was messy, as though he’d been raking his hands through it. ‘Did you get what you wanted?’
‘Perhaps you could leave my client alone,’ Gloria said.
Juliet placed her hand on her lawyer’s arm, calming her. ‘It’s okay, Gloria. I’m happy to answer him.’ Then, turning to Thomas she looked him straight in the eye. ‘Since you asked, Thomas, then yes, I’m satisfied with our terms. I’m pleased our daughter will get the support she deserves. And I’m delighted not to get any alimony, because I can look after myself.’
His laugh was short. ‘I know you can.’
‘And we might not be together any more, but we still have a child. And for the next twelve years it’s our job to make sure she thrives.’ She looked him straight in the eye. ‘And I’ll do my best to make sure she does. Nothing else matters. Not you and not me.’
‘Damn right,’ Gloria murmured.
‘But you also asked if I’ve got what I wanted, and the answer to that is no. I didn’t want to be cheated on, and I sure as hell didn’t want to be treated like crap by you and your family. I didn’t want to miss my daughter every other weekend, but since you made all these decisions without me, then I’ll do it anyway. And I’ll do it well, because I’m a Shakespeare, and you can’t keep a Shakespeare girl down forever. No matter how hard you try.’
Thomas narrowed his eyes as he stared at her, the cool breeze lifting the ends of his hair. ‘Whatever,’ he huffed. ‘I’ll pick Poppy up on Saturday morning. Make sure she’s ready.’
‘Of course.’ Juliet gave him a patient smile. ‘Whatever you want, Thomas.’
She wasn’t going to let him get to her. Not today, and not ever again. Sure, she knew there would be hard times ahead. He wouldn’t give up trying to bait her, and no doubt he’d do his hardest to mess her around whenever he could. But he had no hold on her any more, legally or emotionally.
She was free, and it felt wonderful.
As her ex-husband hurried down the courthouse steps, she turned to give Gloria a final smile. ‘I guess I’d better go and share the good news, before my phone starts blowing up.’
‘I don’t need to ask who you’ll be telling first,’ Gloria said.
‘No you don’t.’ They shared a knowing look. Ryan had wanted to come to court with her. It had taken a lot of persuasion to keep him away. Thank goodness Gloria had backed her up. As far as Juliet was concerned, the more distance Ryan could keep between himself and the courthouse the better. All charges of assault against him had been dropped – but Thomas was still a liability. There was no way she wanted Ryan to poke the beast.
Juliet’s phone vibrated in her pocket again. She knew exactly who it was. ‘I’d better go,’ she said, smiling up at her lawyer. ‘Thank you again for everything.’
‘You’re welcome, Ms Shakespeare.’ Gloria gave her a huge grin.
She was going to have to get used to that.
Ryan lifted his gaze from the beam he’d been sawing, and saw the man stalking his way up the boardwalk. He recognised that walk – he’d seen it since he was little more than a child in the crib. Carefully he placed the circular saw back in its cradle, taking care to switch it off at the plug. Lifting the safety goggles from his eyes, he stood up, brushing the sawdust from his hair with a sweep of his palm.
‘Dad.’
The old man stared at him through narrowed eyes. ‘I’ve been calling you for days.’
Ryan touched the pocket of his jeans automatically. ‘And I’ve been avoiding you for days.’
His father blinked. The dust in the air was settling on him, a fine layer of brown on his
expensively tailored suit. ‘You need to explain yourself.’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘You sold your goddamned shares to a third party.’ His dad’s face turned puce. ‘Why the hell did you do that? Do you understand what you’ve done?’
‘It’s obvious isn’t it?’ It was taking a lot of strength for Ryan to subdue his shit-eating grin. ‘I needed the money to buy the wharf. In fact it was you who gave me the idea, after you suggested I sell the shares to you.’
His father shook his head. ‘Do you know how long the business has been in our family? And now you’ve invited the sharks in. They’re already demanding an audit, and talking about bringing consultants in.’ He was rocking back and forth on his feet, his shiny leather brogues covered in the same dust as his shoulders. ‘They even asked me if I’d consider retirement.’
Ryan would have liked to have seen that. The image of his father being told he was surplus to requirements made him want to laugh out loud. ‘You’re not getting any younger. Maybe you should think about it.’
‘You don’t know the meaning of family, do you? You never did. You tried to betray me once, and now you’ve done it again. You’re scum, Ryan. You don’t deserve to bear my name.’
Ryan shook his head. It was amazing how easily things could be turned around to suit your own point of view. ‘I was a kid,’ he said, trying to keep his voice even. ‘You let me leave with nothing and didn’t give a shit where I ended up. That’s not the kind of family I want to be part of.’
And that was the truth, wasn’t it? As a child he’d longed to fit in. Longed to be part of some mythical happy family with a dad who loved him and a mom who protected him. Then when it hadn’t worked out that way, he’d spent half his life running away. Trying to persuade himself he didn’t need anybody else. That he was fine all on his own.
But now? Well, things had spun on a dime.
He had his own family now.
Maybe they weren’t traditional. But he and Juliet and their kids, along with Sheridan, Carl and their impending arrival, heck somehow they worked. And it felt so damned good.
