Abby nodded. “And if I can do an assembly, maybe I’ll be able to persuade a few more people to come along to the clubs.”
Privately, Mac thought that ‘a few more’ might be an understatement.
Nick obviously thought the same thing, because he said, “You could end up with more than you bargained for. You’ve clearly got a gift for engaging children.”
Abby laughed. “Thank you. Well, the more the merrier, they say. And Holly’s good with children. If we got loads of new members, I’m sure she’d help.”
“Holly?” Nick asked.
“Oh, a colleague at work. Actually, I’ve invited her for dinner on Friday, so you’ll meet her then.”
“Ah.”
* * *
The assembly went better than Abby could have possibly hoped. Mr. Franks talked over the work of the library briefly, before handing over to Abby, who read a hilarious excerpt from a David Walliams’ book before talking about the children’s club. A large number of children looked excited, and the school promised to collate a list of interested pupils for them.
Afterwards, buoyed with success, she got into Mr. Franks’ car. Brimming over with enthusiasm, she turned to him. “Oh, that was just wonderful,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “They loved it.”
Mr. Franks grinned. “Yes, they did.” Suddenly, he pulled her into an unexpected hug, and she found herself pressed against his hard chest. The man smelt of over-spicy aftershave, with a faint edge of perspiration. Before she could protest, he let go. “Well done, Abby, you’ve put the library on the map!”
It was only a hug, she thought, as they drove back to the library. Mr. Franks was clearly delighted with the success of the morning. And if it had made her feel awkward, that was just her being stupid. After all, Mr. Franks was nearly old enough to be her father. She pushed aside her uncomfortable thoughts as they arrived back at the library. Holly was waiting to meet them.
“How did it go, Abby?” she asked, and laughed as Abby’s face lit up.
“It was wonderful. I think we may get enough children for another group.”
Holly smiled. “I knew you could do it. You were bound to be a hit, you’re so passionate about it!”
Abby smiled and turned to take off her coat. She glanced at Mr. Franks, whose face was flushed. He looked at her intensely for a moment, and then nodded and murmured, “She certainly is.”
That evening, Holly travelled home with Abby for dinner. She was awestruck when she saw the ranch, with its spectacular views of the open plains, and misty mountains. In the early evening light, it looked beautiful and tranquil.
“You live here?” she breathed as she got out of the car.
Abby could understand her reaction. Even though the view was familiar, it never failed to delight her.
“Abby, I don’t know how you bear leaving to go to work every day. If I lived here, I’d never want to leave!”
Abby laughed. “The view is always here to welcome me back. And the ranch isn’t as peaceful as this earlier in the day. You’ve arrived at its quietest point.”
“I see.”
“Have you ever been on a ranch before?”
“No, never. I was raised on a smallholding, but that’s it.”
“So was I.”
Holly turned to her in surprise. “Really? I assumed you’d always lived somewhere like this.”
Abby laughed. “No. I lived with my father on a farm, just a couple of miles away.”
Her voice trailed off as a thought struck her. Her father’s smallholding was empty now, and sitting idle. Would it suit Jeb and Calla as a home to retire to? It was close by, and convenient. Making a mental note, she smiled at Holly. “Come in and I’ll introduce you to everyone.”
Dinner that evening was a pleasant affair. Holly was enchanted with the homestead, and keen to learn about life on a ranch. She was fascinated to hear about Mac’s experiments with Wagyu crossbred with Angus to raise cattle for Kobe-style beef.
“The market’s there,” Mac explained. “That kind of beef is darker than usual, with a stronger flavor. It’s in demand in a lot of high-end restaurants.”
That led, in turn, to Holly recounting some amusing anecdotes about her experiences working in various eateries.
“It’s a big jump from restaurant to library work,” Nick commented, curiously.
Holly glanced briefly at Nick, and then looked down at her plate. “I did the restaurant work was when I was younger. But the shifts are long, and you work so many nights. In the end, I decided I wanted something in the day.” She shrugged. “I’ve always loved books, so working in a library seemed like a natural choice.”
“And which type of work do you prefer?”
Holly smiled. “Actually, I’ve enjoyed both types of work. I do miss cooking, but to be fair, I don’t miss the bad tempered chefs!”
They were just finishing desert when Mac took a call to say a young heifer was struggling to give birth to her first calf. “Duty calls,” he said. “I have to go.”
“Problem?” Nick asked.
“Breech birth, I think,” Mac said. He stood. “I’m sorry to run out on you like this.”
Nick stood up. “I’ll come and give you a hand,” he said. “If you’ll excuse me, ladies?”
Abby nodded. “Of course,” she said.
“Calla and I have tickets for the cinema,” Jeb said to Mac. “But if you need me to stay…”
Mac shook his head. “We’ll be fine.” He grinned. “Besides, I know you’ve been waiting for that movie to come out for ages.”
Jeb looked sheepish. “Well, a man needs a little bit of magic in his life.”
When Holly looked momentarily confused, Abby leaned over and whispered, “Lord of the Rings. He and Calla are big fans.”
Holly’s face lightened. “Ah.”
Calla grinned, standing up. “Have a good evening, young hobbits.”
Laughing, the group broke up, going their separate ways. Abby looked at Holly, and suggested a drink on the verandah to watch the sunset. Holly nodded, enthusiastically. “That sounds wonderful. But I think I’d better ring and book a taxi now,” she said. “If I book it for ten, say…”
Abby smiled. “Well, if you want to that’s fine. But you’d be welcome to stay over, if you like. It’s Saturday tomorrow, so you don’t need to be up for work.”
“Oh!” Holly looked surprised, then pleased. “Well, that would be lovely,” she said.
“Right. Great. Now, what would you like to drink?”
They went out onto the verandah, and opened a bottle of wine. Sitting on the softly cushioned chairs, they enjoyed their drinks as they watched the sun go down in a blaze of glorious gold and vermilion. Darkness fell and the stars came out as they chatted.
Holly was good company, talking humorously about her strict parents and her sheltered upbringing in rural Wyoming.
“What did you do when you left home?” Abby asked Holly, curiously.
“Ah.” Holly laughed and then grimaced. “Well, I went a bit wild, to tell you the truth. I went to college, and I just wanted to rebel against all the strictures they’d put around me for all those years. I met a guy who wanted me and I... well, I married him.”
Abby stared at her. She hadn’t realized Holly had been married. “Whoa, that’s some rebellion. Isn’t it more usual just to... err... well...”
Holly laughed. “Yes. But I’d absorbed more of my parent’s precepts than I’d realized, I think. I didn’t believe in sex before marriage, and he realized he wouldn’t get anywhere without a wedding ring, so he proposed. I thought I was in love with him, and he me, so I accepted.”
Abby took a sip of her drink. “So, what happened?”
“Well, I introduced him to my parents, and they really didn’t like him. I think they could see that he wasn’t a good man. But I took offense at their attitude... and tied the knot.”
“Ah.”
Holly shrugged, and took a deep swallow of her drink. Abby leaned
over and topped both of their glasses up. She wasn’t sure how to ask what had happened to her friend’s marriage. The last thing she wanted to do was bring up bad memories.
Holly seemed to understand Abby’s reticence, because she continued, “it wasn’t a good marriage. But I stuck it out until last year when... when...”
Abby watched Holly’s fingers tighten around her glass. “I... he... there was a car crash. He was killed. With his... his lover...”
“Oh!” Abby was shocked. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”
Holly wrapped her arms round herself. “It sounds terrible, but in some ways it was a relief. We should have divorced before that.” She stood abruptly. “Umm... may I use your restroom?”
“Of course. Just through there. First room on the right.”
Holly retreated quickly, and Abby got a strong impression that she was seeking privacy to cry. Draining her glass, she poured a fresh one, and topped up Holly’s.
Holly had clearly had a terrible time, and Abby could feel the pain coming off her normally happy friend in waves. She shook her head, appreciating how lucky she’d been. Like Holly, her upbringing had been strict, and she could imagine that if things had been different, if she’d left home, she could have been vulnerable to some predatory male. Instead, she’d found Mac, one of the most honorable and caring men she could ever hope to meet.
She was still reflecting on her good fortune when Holly returned, pale but composed. “Sorry about that,” she said sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to lay all of that on you.”
Abby smiled at her. “I feel honored that you confided in me. It’s good to talk.”
Holly relaxed. “So, what about you?” she said. “How did you meet Mac?”
Abby recounted the story of their meeting, telling her briefly about her father, and the shootout at the homestead. Holly was taken aback.
“Rustlers? Real rustlers? You had a shoot out?”
Abby nodded.
“I’d have been terrified,” Holly said frankly. “So, then what happened?”
Abby smiled, and explained that Mac had proposed shortly afterwards.
“So... how long have you been married?”
“About six months.”
Holly was shocked, and said so.
Confused, Abby asked why.
“Because... because you two are so in tune with each other, as if you’ve been together for years.”
“Ah.”
Abby looked down at her glass, and felt her eyes fill with tears. In tune. If only Holly knew. They were in tune, all right, except in the bedroom...
She didn’t realize her tears were visible until she heard Holly exclaim, “Abby! What’s wrong?”
Out in the darkness Mac, who’d been making his way back to the homestead, stopped abruptly at the sound of the girls’ voices, which carried clearly in the still night air. He could see them sitting on the verandah, drinking wine. Had he really just heard Holly ask Abby if something was wrong?
He saw Abby wipe her eyes, and then heard her say, “It’s nothing.”
His gut tightened. She was lying. Anxiety arced through him.
He saw Holly hesitate. “Abby, forgive me if I’m intruding, but you haven’t been married very long. Is everything okay between you?”
He saw Abby tense and his heart sank. He could hazard a guess at what she was going to say. She’d been an innocent when he married her, and although he’d tried his best to restrain his ardor in the bedroom, he was afraid he’d made a poor job of it. Had he overwhelmed her, frightened her? He’d been truly afraid that he’d gone too far when he’d introduced her to oral sex. But it had been so wonderful.
For him, he thought, harshly. Okay, so she’d enjoyed an orgasm, but that didn’t mean to say she’d been comfortable with what he’d done. Look at how embarrassed she’d been the next day. He ran an anxious hand through his hair as he considered her shyness. Had she been too inhibited to tell him that she wasn’t enjoying what he was doing to her in bed?
He should have made sure they talked more about their love life. He should have made her confide in him. His jaw clenched as he waited for her reply.
Her voice was quiet as she said, “It’s... our love life.”
Mac’s stomach churned, and he wondered for a second if he was going to throw up. Tensely he waited to hear what she was going to say.
“It’s not going well?” Holly asked.
“Oh! No, it’s going very well, but…”
Mac frowned, confused.
“But?”
“Oh!” He heard Abby’s exasperated tone, as she put down her glass, impatient with her own embarrassment. “It’s just that... he’s an experienced man. He does everything to me, and it’s wonderful. But, well, I want to do it back to him, too!”
Holly looked bewildered, and Mac knew how she felt. What was Abby getting at?
“Well...” said Holly, cautiously, “if you want to... uh... do it back, why don’t you?”
He saw Abby shake her head. “I’m afraid that he might disapprove. That he might think I’m... wanton.”
“Wanton!” Holly looked at her, aghast. “How could he think you’re wanton? You’re not wanton for wanting your own husband in bed!”
Hear, hear. Mac rubbed a shaking hand over his face. Did Abby really think he would judge her for taking the initiative in bed? A thought occurred to him. Had her sheltered upbringing taught her that women should just submit to their husband’s desires – whilst repressing their own?
He saw Abby gulp down the rest of her drink with the air of someone about to throw themselves in the deep end, and then she said harshly, “Yes, but what if it’s not just normal desires? What if I want to touch him and... and... taste him...”
Understanding washed across Holly’s face. “Abby, wanting to touch and taste your lover is normal.”
Abby stiffened and then turned to look at Holly. “Really?”
“Really. It’s as normal as... oh, I don’t know... kissing?”
“Oh.” Mac saw Abby slump. “I didn’t know. Couldn’t ask. I thought... there was something wrong with me.”
“ ’Fraid not. My official diagnosis is... you’re human.” Holly grinned, and reached for the wine bottle. “Here, have another glass. You look like you need it.”
“Oh.” Abby laughed, and held out her glass. “Thanks.”
“Pleasure.”
They clinked glasses and took a drink, before Holly hesitated and said, “Abby, have you talked to Mac about any of this?”
Mentally, Mac applauded Holly. It was a good question. Why hadn’t Abby felt able to tell him of her worries?
Holly shook her head. “Nope.” Her voice slurred slightly, and Mac realized that the wine had gone to her head. It was the first time he’d ever known her to drink too much.
“Why not?”
Abby grimaced. “I was... am... afraid he’ll be repulsed, or shocked, or disgusted, if I take the lead with him. He’s always taken the initiative. He might think I’m too forward.”
Mac drew in a sharp breath. As if anything that Abby did would ever repulse him. Didn’t she know that he would do anything with her, for her?
Holly’s doubtful tone jolted him out of his dark thoughts. “I seriously can’t imagine that Mac would mind if you took the lead sometimes.”
She’d hit the nail on the head, there.
“Most men like it when their wives show their desire. He might just be leading because you’re new to passion, and because he doesn’t know you want to take the initiative.”
Mac’s estimation of Holly went up another notch. She was spot on in her assessment.
“Really? You think so?” Abby asked.
Holly nodded. “I really do think so. You should try it, see what happens.”
Mac returned to the homestead feeling shell-shocked. Far from being repulsed by his desires, Abby wanted to respond to them, and take the initiative, to touch him... and taste him. His body reacted sharply to the thought, and he breathed
deeply. Inside him, joy mingled with relief. But warring with his pleasure was the uncomfortable knowledge that Abby had been so inhibited that she hadn’t been able to tell him, or show him, what she had been feeling.
He recognized that he had to take some responsibility for that. Life had been busy since they married, and they hadn’t taken enough time to talk. He hadn’t been sensitive enough to her needs, or sufficiently aware of her inhibitions, to help her overcome them.
He walked into the kitchen, and made himself a coffee. Sitting at the table, he wondered what he should do. Part of him wanted to spank her for not telling him what she was thinking and feeling. He shouldn’t have had to find out by overhearing her conversation with another woman. But the other half of him knew it was more important to find a way to reassure Abby that her desires were normal, natural and welcome.
How on earth he was going to do that, he had no idea.
Sighing, he got up and walked out to the verandah. Holly sat quietly finishing her drink, and Abby looked as if she was half asleep. The bottle, he noticed, was empty.
“Hi,” he said quietly.
Holly looked round and smiled. “Hello. How did you get on with the calf?”
“Mother and baby doing well.”
“Good.”
“It looks like Abby’s just about out for the count.”
Holly chuckled. “Yes. She was wired this morning about the assembly. Then we had a busy afternoon – I guess the bottle of wine finished her off.”
Mac smiled. “Are you staying over?”
“Yes, Abby invited me.”
Nodding, he said, “I’ll take Abby in, then I’ll show you where your room is.”
“Okay, thanks.”
He picked Abby up in his arms, and carried her easily to the bedroom. She smiled in her sleep, and then snuggled into his chest. “Mac?” she said sleepily.
“Yes, honey?”
“Love you.”
He bent down and kissed her lightly. “Love you too, sweetheart.”
The following morning, Abby had the hangover from hell. She awoke late, feeling groggy, to find that Mac had left a glass of water and some painkillers next to the bed. She had never appreciated anything more. After taking them she staggered into the shower, turning the temperature to hot in the hope that it would revive her. It did, to an extent, and she dressed swearing that she’d never drink that much again. She indulged so rarely that it had gone straight to her head.
Teaching Abby (Lone Star Family Values) Page 8
