Miss me?
God knows, I’ve got a hole in my life without you.
She excused herself from her company and walked over to the gas grill where she took a hot dog and a toasted bun and put them on a paper plate.
Her dog to her mouth, she latched on to his gaze again.
I want you, Cass. That way. With your mouth on me. I need you, Cass. With my body inside you. My life entwined with yours.
She blinked, her eyes somber with yearning. She plunked the hot dog on her plate, spun, threw plate and all in the trash, and turned her back on him.
Hell.
****
What a fool she had made of herself.
Cass stood in the kitchen, eyes squeezed shut, suppressing the urge to run to her room and cry like a girl.
Going to bed with Tony had been the most foolish act she had ever committed. She had always planned everything she had ever done. College. A business degree. Marriage to Ray. Getting pregnant. She had thought those all out, noting the practicality of it all. Her bachelors in communications. The way she loved Ray and his family. The desire she and Ray had to start a family even though he might be on a mission and not home when she delivered. She had thought it all out, pros and cons and all in between.
She was not erratic. Not impulsive. She was so very even that at one time, after watching one of those crazy housewives of la-la land shows, she wondered if she might have a hormone imbalance. That was nuts, of course, but she had never been a drama queen. About anything in her life.
She knew risks meant rewards, but before yesterday, she had chanced little in her lifetime. Her parents were mild-mannered people. She was like them. They had loved each other with a quiet, funny endearing devotion. They took most things in stride. Their initial failures in residential real estate told them they were better suited for a softer sell, less hectic pace. A higher income clientele appreciated that and her parents had been successful in their new roles. They became so adept at selling large development properties that when they began to make tens of thousands of dollars at each one, they took that in stride, too.
“What comes, goes, Cass,” her mother would say.
“Treasure what you have so that you don’t lose your shirt,” her dad would follow.
Well, she had done just that today with Tony. “And look what it’s gotten me.” She stood by the kitchen sink, looking out over the gathering of her extended family. Her heart ached with the beauty of how well they all got along. “But I’ve lost my shirt, Dad. What do I do now?”
From the look on Tony’s face a minute ago, she saw she had wounded him horribly. She also had sense enough to know that she could go outside and apologize, take her words back and ask for another chance with him. He would accept that. But ever after, he’d wonder.
“I would.”
Instead of telling him she wanted to stay near him, learn if they what they felt for each other could have dimensions and possibilities, she had cut him off. She hadn’t gathered the courage to face the fact that how she cared for him seemed more enormous, more erotic, more ideal than what she had felt for Ray. If that earlier attachment had been a young woman’s enchantment, this immediate one with Tony loomed like a mad adventure into the perfect love affair. That was scary. Couple that with the fact that Tony was a SEAL. To love another one seemed the equivalent of putting her hand on a hot stove. She had lived through the rigors, the long deployments, the holidays alone, the eternal void that came from not knowing where he was or how he was or even when he would return.
She had the right stuff to endure and when she faced the possibility of doing it again with a different man—the right man—she had balked.
She had to talk to him. She owed him that. Owed herself the chance at happiness. Owed Jon that, too, and her son loved Tony.
Searching the lawn for Jon, she didn’t see him. She had left him with a few other children around his age, friends of both the Phillips and the Neros.
But where was he?
Not in the sandbox. Not on the swings.
She went out on the deck. The sunlight striking her right in the eye, causing her to shield her gaze from the blood red refractions on the water. Sounds of children’s laughter had her cocking her ear. Where were they?
She took the steps down, crossing the downy grass with ever quickening steps. But she paused. She couldn’t hear the children any longer. Why not?
She halted in the middle of the lawn. The sun was going down fast, casting a sliver of light across the landscape. Her hands on her hips, she turned slowly. Tony was walking with Gil in her general direction, headed up into their parents’ house. She caught Tony’s glance, his questioning look, then she shook her head as if to say she was bewildered.
“Have you seen Jon?” she asked him as he and Gil came up to her.
“Jon?” Tony spun slowly to take in a three-sixty of the lawn. “When I last saw him he was— Oh, Jezus!” He grabbed his brother’s wrist. “Gil, come on!”
Then he took off like a bat out of hell racing toward the dock, his brother barreling right behind him.
Cass blinked, not believing what she saw. Two little figures were out in the river. One had dark hair and blue flippers. The other was a tow-head blond holding on to a paddle board.
“Jon!” She ran toward the river, stumbling in her shoes. In front of her, Tony stripped off his shirt and so did Gil. They ran like banshees were after them both, and at the edge of the dock, they dived into the choppy river.
Cass watched them go over, heard two sets of splashes as each one hit the surface and then turned to focus on her son and his friend. Unbelievably, beneath her under the dock, she heard a child crying.
She stooped to look between the planks and there was another child, about six years old, trying to step into the water and hating how cold it was. “Don’t go in there,” she told the child. “Just because Jon and Trevor did doesn’t mean you should.”
“We bet,” she said her tone mournful of her failure. “I said I could. I wasn’t afraid.”
“It’s wise to be afraid. Don’t do it, sweetheart.”
Cass looked up, horror striking her when she saw a motorboat headed straight for the two little boys. At right angles to the children, Tony and Gil cut through the water like sharks.
Please, God, let them get to them before that boat hits them.
On the deck, she saw the sailor scan the horizon and wave to her. Motioning that he would tack, he began his maneuver. The river ran against him and he had a tough time with the till. He cut the engine. In the water, Tony made double Gil’s time. Two children, one man. Not an easy choice. And both boys were crying.
She saw Jon, his little cherub face, red and anguished with fear. She couldn’t look away.
His friend was now screaming. Gil approached him, grabbing for him, getting him in a hold to keep his head above water. The dark haired boy calmed, his little mouth quivering.
Jon saw Tony, yelled for him and sank.
Cass shrieked.
Tony tread water and suddenly, he was nowhere to be found, either.
A crowd gathered around Cass, a woman crying, a man cursing. Peg came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “They’ll get him. They will.”
And if they don’t?
And if both of them drown?
How could Tony find Jon in that water? The river was murky, the sunlight a fading glimmer on the crests of the water.
Tony emerged, his black hair a darker shade popping up from the gray surface. He grabbed a breath and went down again.
Cass clutched her stomach. Jon, Jon. Don’t give up.
A split second, no more, and Tony reappeared…and in his arms was her son.
Jon. Coughing. Sputtering.
Jon.
And then Tony swam with her little boy tucked into his good arm. Tony swam for shore steadily, surely, just as Gil did.
Cass rushed around to the far edge of the lawn where the land sloped down to the shore.
There, beneath the dock, was the little girl whom Cass had warned away from swimming in the water. She shivered and cried, poor little thing.
As Gil trudged out of the water, he held his captive high in his arms.
The boy’s mother ran toward him, arms open wide, her cries wild with relief and anger.
Tony emerged from the river like Poseidon, huge and fierce and victorious. In his arms Jon shivered, his eyes bugging out of his head from fear.
She ran toward them both. Water cascaded from Tony’s body. Still dressed in his shorts and shoes, he looked strained and oddly calm…except for the way he held his arm, the one that had pulled Jon to shore.
Tony was hurt. Oh, lord. He had risked his own health to save her son.
“Tony, oh, Tony.” She wanted to hug them both, nurse them, but he put Jon in her arms.
“Lay him down..”
She laid Jon down on the grass.
Jon sputtered, spit out some water, then smiled at Tony. He didn’t seem affected by his ordeal at all.
“There, he’s got the river water up. You’ll be fine, Jon.” Tony smoothed Jon’s hair over his scalp.
“Wanted to be like you.”
“Before you go swimming in the river again, we’ll make sure you have more training, Jon,” Tony told him with an edge of parental authority in his voice.
Then Tony gazed up at her and the crowd “Anyone call EMT?”
“Yes, I did!” Caesar told him. “On their way.”
“Good.” Tony smiled at Jon and settled beside him, his arm oddly hanging from his shoulder. “I’ll just lie here a second and catch my breath.”
Then he shut his eyes and she could have sworn he passed out.
Chapter Seven
Cass wheeled her car around, squinting at the sliver of dawn topping the horizon as she followed the signs to the hospital visitor’s parking lot. She’d been a lot of places with Ray, but never Bethesda Naval Hospital. Now was her first time and she prayed that in this huge facility she’d find her way to Tony.
“Park over there.” Tessa had insisted she be the one to come with her on the fifty mile trip from Annapolis to Washington. Tony’s sister knew D.C. well. Going to college in nearby College Park meant Tessa visited the city often. After the medics had pronounced the little girl healthy but scared, they had said Jon’s lungs were clear of all river water and his friend’s were, too. Then they examined Tony’s arm and urged him to go to the nearby ER with them. Tony had flatly refused.
“I’ll drive over to Bethesda,” he told them as he sat on the grass after their exam, appearing pale in the moonlight. “They’ll patch me up. Thanks to you guys for the quick response.”
Cass was surprised Tony said nothing to them about fainting, but then, no SEAL would admit to such a condition.
“You can’t drive that distance by yourself,” one EMT told Tony bluntly. “That arm won’t take the movement.”
Caesar insisted he would drive. Ruth declared she’d go with her husband. And immediately Gil piped up, saying he’d join the group, too.
As Cass carried Jon inside her in-laws’ house, she heard Tessa tell everyone that she would do the cleanup. Her girlfriends pitched in and many of the guests said they’d help out.
Cass took Jon upstairs to his bedroom and heard the emergency vehicle drive away. She quickly bathed Jon in warm water, insisted he drink some hot soup and then sat with him while he drifted off into a deep sleep.
The Fourth of July party ended early as the guests hurried home. Through Jon’s window, Cass saw the fireworks from a nearby school grounds shower the black velvet sky with a red, white and blue celebration.
Sitting in a chair near Jon, Cass had fretted. She had to know how Tony was, tell him what a fool she’d been and she shot from her seat, unable to wait to do it until he returned from Bethesda. He had injured his arm badly to save her son, and she owed him her thanks. Not tomorrow or the next day. He had done what no one else at the party could have done. What no other person was trained to do. He had saved Jon from an undertow. Saved him from drowning. He’d done it before any permanent damage had occurred to Jon. Done it with ease…except for the disastrous effect on his own arm.
She had walked into the family room and told Peg and Tom of her need to go to the hospital. Asking them to watch Jon, she told them she’d be back in the morning. But because she had been up most of the night, her in-laws begged her not to go. Only when Tessa walked in to ask how Jon was did Peg and Tom say they’d happily see her go if Cass would take Tessa with her to Bethesda.
“She’ll be good company,” Peg had said.
“My two friends can hold down the fort. I’m ready,” Tessa said.
“Let’s go,” Cass said and minutes later they were in her convertible headed west.
Nearly two hours later, Cass drove into the hospital parking slot and turned off the engine. Bone tired, she pulled herself up to glare at herself in the rearview mirror.
“Tony won’t care what you look like.”
Cass stared at Tessa. Worn out by her erotic night and day in bed with Tony, then her argument with him, the near disaster with the three children, the EMTs and her own turmoil, she felt like one raw pulsing nerve. “I am such an idiot.”
“I would say you are very smart. You’re here. He’ll value that. Forget your hair. He won’t care.” Tessa got out and when Cass came around to her side of the car, she said, “Did he get around to telling you that he loves you? Badly?”
Cass wanted to laugh and cry. “In so many words.”
“Terrific.” Tessa looped her arm through Cass’ as they headed up the stairs toward the main entrance. “I feared he’d carry that secret to his grave.”
“Does he know you are so precocious?”
Tessa fixed Cass with hard gaze “Careful. I may still agree with you about the sad state of your intellectual abilities.”
“Wow. Color me the woman in the dark.”
“For a long time, you had crap to deal with. Understandable crap. It dims the mind.”
“Are you too wise for your age?” Cass climbed the steps, marveling at her own failure to see how much Tony cared for her. Loved being the operative word. Love.
“Yeah, very. I come from a long line of people who take careful assessment of their surroundings. That includes the adoration I see on others’ faces.”
“Gee. I am suddenly wild to watch you falling in love.”
“Not for a long time, you won’t. I have a lot of living to do…and if past is prologue, odds are I get a sailor or a jarhead for a lifelong companion.”
“Aren’t you looking forward to that?” Cass would be surprised if Tessa’s answer were any other.
“To that? Absolutely not.”
Cass stopped on the landing. “I don’t understand. If you think you’re prone to take a military man as a husband, then what’s your objection?”
“I don’t want the tension, the uncertainty of knowing where he is or how he is. I don’t want the worry.”
Tessa smiled, her expression tight with concern for Cass.
“But if you want the man,” Cass said, understanding Tessa’s reasoning and giving voice to her own, “you’ll take all that he is.” Professionally and personally, would she take all that Tony was?
If he wants to give it, yes. I want him.
“Let’s hurry,” Cass told the young woman. “I have a lot of talking to do.”
“Wish I were a fly on the wall for this one.”
“For future use?”
“Yep. Nero family motto? Be prepared.”
****
“Bottom line, Lieutenant,” the neurosurgeon told Tony as he handed him a set of diagrams, “you do this set of exercises, not those others they gave you in Virginia. Your problem is not the way the bones are set, but how you’re beginning to use it again. Those other PT exercises were aggravating the main nerve and not stimulating the lesser ones in your hand and arm. Do these.”
So he hadn’t crippled hims
elf. Damn. What a relief. “Thanks, Doctor. I’ll be happy to do them.”
“Shall I tell your family to come in now?” The doc picked the x-rays off the clipboard and put a hand to the door.
“No, I’m ready to go. I’ll tell them the good news.” Tony put his feet to the floor and reached for his shirt.
His parents and Gil had been waiting all night on those ridiculously uncomfortable looking chairs and he wouldn’t keep them any longer. As the doc opened the door, Tony spied a brunette and a blonde standing talking to the threesome.
Tessa and Cass had come here, too.
He blew out a gust of air. Okay. Time to suit up. He pulled his T-shirt over his head and marched out the door. He had a plan of attack that he’d now alter to her arrival here, but that was cool. He was nothing if not adaptable.
With only a look at his father and a nod to his mother and brother, he raised a brow at his sister and picked up Cassandra Phillips with one good arm, and marched toward the elevator.
He strode past doctors who smiled. Nurses who dropped their jaws in surprise. Orderlies who chuckled. A few men in uniform. One in a wheelchair who stared.
Meanwhile, Cass wriggled.
“Stop that.”
“Will you let me down?”
“No.” When the elevator opened, he stepped inside. The thing was small and they were luckily the only passengers. “Push one.”
She huffed, but did as she was told.
Getting the hang of this, are we?
“You should put me down. I’m heavy.”
“Not for me.” For a man who had lifted three times her weight when he was soaking wet, covered in sand, she was a twig. The door opened. Without breaking a sweat, he continued down the hall to the exit door.
“Open it,” he told her when they approached the glass portal.
She pushed it wide.
“Good girl.”
And he kept on walking across the covered porch. Overlooking the parking lot, he paused. He figured she had driven since Tessa hated to. “Where is your car?”
Burning For Nero (SEALs Going Hot) Page 8
