“They are mine—my responsibility.”
“Okay,” she conceded. She was sure if she held out on that line of questioning, he’d ask her if she’d gone shopping yesterday after her visit to his shop, and she’d have to say no.
He grinned. “So as things now stand, I see no other choice than for us to go out.”
“On a date?” Amanda found herself returning his smile.
“Yes. I’ll make an honest woman of you.” He leaned back in his chair, obviously proud of himself.
“When would this date be?” Amanda asked.
“As soon as possible. Tomorrow night?”
“I don’t know. I was thinking of going dancing with a friend.”
“A friend?”
“A girlfriend.” Amanda hadn’t actually called a friend yet, but before Blake had shown up she had planned to call Savvy right after work.
He lifted his shoulders and shook his head. “I guess you’ll have to tell her you’ve changed your mind. You know how important being honest is.”
“Maybe.”
“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow.
“I’ll go out with you tomorrow if you’ll do something for me.”
“Fix the timer on your stove?”
“Nope. I’m not telling you what until you agree.” Amanda smirked at him, daring him to accept.
“Okay, deal.”
“I’ll go out with you tomorrow only if you’ll sing ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider’ to me.” She grinned triumphantly.
Blake blinked. He shook his head, whether in rejection of her demand or disbelief, she couldn’t tell. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“Nope.”
“Nope?”
She shook her head.
“Well, I don’t know if I can do that.” His voice was low and sent shivers up her spine. He was no longer smiling.
She was about to kick herself for being so coy when he leaned toward her. Because she was also leaning forward, he was close now—too close for the good of her pounding heart. Only a mere three inches separated their faces. Amanda saw him glance at her lips and instinctively she glanced at his. Long seconds ticked by. Amanda usually waited a good long time before allowing any of her dates to kiss her, if she ever allowed it, but somehow this moment with Blake was different from any she had experienced before. Yeah, right, she thought. That’s because he’s not even a date. The space between them closed . . .
“Dang!” Kevin shouted in their ears.
Blake and Amanda jerked upright and stared at Kevin who was now standing by the table. “What?” Blake asked, his chest expanding as he took an exasperated breath.
Amanda fought her acute disappointment.
“I can’t find any ants.” Kevin held up his arm to Blake’s face. “I was trying to make them run away with my bracelet, but I can’t find any here.”
“See?” Amanda said brightly. “It’s working already!”
Kevin stared at the bracelet for a moment. “Wow,” he said. “I wish I’d had this bracelet when I was with my mom. There was lots of ants there.”
His comments brought Amanda back to reality. “I’d better get home.” She went to collect her purse.
Blake looked disappointed, which made Amanda feel slightly better. “Wait,” he said, going with her to the door. “What about our date?”
“Mara’s stinky,” Kevin announced. “Her smells real bad.”
Amanda grinned, although part of her was close to tears. She wasn’t ready for a relationship. She didn’t even want one. She should tell him that. Instead she said, “Call me.” With a little wave to Kevin, who was sitting beside Mara on the linoleum floor, she fled.
In her car, she laid her forehead on the cold steering wheel. That was close, she thought. Too close. Still, she had to admit, if only to herself, that every word she’d said to the social worker had been absolutely true.
Chapter Nine
Blake had just returned from the store where he’d bought some of the clear liquid Amanda had recommended. Mara seemed to like the taste and began guzzling her bottle while he decided what to make for dinner. Normally, he didn’t mind cooking, but now he felt exhausted. Besides, it was Friday night. He was young and single—he should be out on a date having fun, not slaving over a hot stove.
A date with Amanda?
No way am I going to sing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” for her. He grinned at the absurdness of the request. Especially not before our first date!
“So what should we eat?” he asked Kevin.
“Pizza?” suggested the boy hopefully.
“I was thinking of something a little more nutritious—and less expensive.”
“Donuts?”
“Yeah, right.” He rolled his eyes, making Kevin giggle.
“How about chicken and potatoes? We’ll put it in the oven and in an hour or so it’s ready to eat with that bag of salad we bought.”
“But I’m hungry now.”
“Tacos then?”
Kevin nodded. “I want soft shell.”
“Okay, but you have to have lettuce and tomatoes on it. Or at least a salad on the side.”
“Salad.” Kevin looked at Mara who was lying on the carpet by the love seat. “What about Mara?”
“Oh, I got vegetable and chicken something-or-other for her.” Blake held up the baby food bottles. He wasn’t sure if he should feed her anything other than the clear liquid, but he certainly wasn’t going to starve the child. If she wanted food, she was going to get it.
Kevin frowned. “Her doesn’t like vegetables. Her spits them out.”
“She spits them out. And that’s because she’s never had my spinach soup.”
“Can we make that tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Blake took out a pound of lean hamburger and began frying it in a pan. He wasn’t actually positive that tacos were more healthy than pizza, but at least they included fresh vegetables. He tried to get Kevin to eat as many as possible.
The phone rang, and he picked it up from the kitchen counter. “Hello?”
“Blake? Thank heaven I found you! It’s taken me hours to get your number!”
“Paula?” Blake glanced at Kevin, who was watching him with wide eyes.
“Yes, it’s me,” came the irritated response. “I’ve been trying and trying to reach you. I had to call Mom to get your number.”
“My number hasn’t changed.” He always made sure of that, just in case Paula needed to contact him. “I guess you lost it during the last six months.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? It’s not as if you didn’t get to see Kevin. I know you were visiting.”
“Your mother’s too old to take care of him. He should have been with me.”
“He’s my son!”
“How much were you even there?”
“None of your business!” Then Paula repeated the phrase, this time punctuating it with a few swear words that grated on Blake’s ears.
Fighting irritation, he said calmly, “What do you want?”
“What do I want?” Paula’s voice rose two octaves. “I want my kids, that’s what.” Again she swore colorfully.
“Paula, if you continue to talk like that, I’m hanging up. I will. Now, I’ve got Kevin here waiting to talk with you, so let’s get to the point.”
“Okay,” Paula sounded like she was talking through gritted teeth. “What I’m saying is, I’m coming to pick up the kids.”
“You can’t do that. The social worker said they have to stay here. But you can come see them any time you want.”
“Any time I want,” she screeched. “They’re my kids, Blake. Mine. Not yours, not the—”
“No swearing,” he warned. “I’ll hang up.” He winked at Kevin to show him there wasn’t a problem. Kevin tried to wink back, but both his eyes shut with the effort.
“They aren’t the state’s children.”
“No, but they have custody now. They told me that if I don’t follow their rules, they’ll find another foster family. Th
en you wouldn’t be able to call or see them whenever you want.”
“That’s crazy! They’re mine! Come on, Blake, it’s me, Paula. Let’s forget all these idiots. You know I’m a good mother. I’ll come get the kids and disappear. They won’t blame you.”
Blake kept his voice calm. “No, Paula. I can’t do that. I promised.”
“Your promise to them is more important than me being with my kids?” Bitterness oozed from every word.
“No, my promise to Kevin and Mara is more important. They deserve a good home.”
“I give them that! They’re my whole life!”
“I know you love them. But let’s be honest, Paula, they had no heat where you were living, and no food in the refrigerator.”
“I hadn’t gone shopping yet!”
Blake turned his back to Kevin, who was still trying to wink, holding down one eye while he opened the other. “You left them with a stranger overnight,” he snarled softly into the phone. “When I picked them up, they were starving.”
“I was going to get them, but the stupid police hauled me in for nothing.” Paula burst into another torrent of swear words.
Blake hung up the phone. “Your mother’s a little upset,” he told Kevin. “Don’t worry, she’ll call back. Can you get out the tomatoes for me?”
He fried all the hamburger, grated the cheese, and diced the tomatoes before Paula called back. “I want my kids,” she said without preamble.
“You can see them anytime. You can come by tonight if you want.”
“I can’t. I have something else to do.”
Blake wondered why he felt surprised. Yes, Paula said she wanted to come and get the children, but he couldn’t even count the times when she had promised to come and hadn’t. It had gotten so bad that sometimes he wouldn’t even tell Kevin when she planned on coming.
“What about tomorrow?” he asked. She could go with them to see her mother.
“No, I’ll come on Sunday.”
“What time?”
“Around ten. I can stay until about five. I have something to do later.”
“We have church at one-thirty,” Blake told her.
“At one-thirty?”
“I know, it’s an odd schedule, but there’s some new development in our stake boundaries and four wards are using our building until the new chapel’s done.”
“Do you even have to go?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I do.” He wasn’t going to justify anything to her.
“You could go alone, and I could stay with the kids.”
“I can’t do that.”
“I won’t take off with them. You know that.”
Blake didn’t know any such thing. “I can’t. And they should be at church anyway. They need a schedule.”
“You think I don’t know that? Besides, visiting their mother is more important than church. I’m more important.”
Blake had to fight to control his anger. “Paula, that’s the problem. Don’t you see? That’s putting your needs first, not theirs.”
“You’re trying to steal my kids!” she yelled in his ear. “You can’t find a girl and get your own so you have to steal mine!”
Almost, it was as if he could see his cousin as the innocent girl she had been, pointing a finger at him accusingly. His heart ached for that girl. “I don’t want to steal your children, Paula,” he said calmly. “I’m just trying to help. I’m here for you, like I’ve always been. Would you prefer that I tell the social worker I don’t want to be involved?”
“No, no.” Paula began to backpedal as fast as she could. “Not at all. I’m grateful to you, really I am, Blake. I just wish you weren’t such a stickler for the rules.”
“That’s who I am. I’m doing my best. But, Paula, it’s up to you now. You show up at their counseling sessions, take their drug tests, get a job, arrange a nice place to live, and you’ll get custody back. It’s as simple as that.” Or it should be simple. For someone using drugs, he knew, nothing was simple. Paula hadn’t been able to hold down a job for years. After a couple of weeks, she was always fired.
“I’ll have a place next week. And I’ll be doing the rest, too.”
“Okay, then. See you Sunday at ten?”
“I might be a little late. Never know if my car’s going to start.”
“We’ll be here till one-twenty and then after four.”
“Okay. Let me talk to Kevin.”
“All right.” Blake handed the phone to Kevin.
The child put the phone to his ear. “Yeah,” he said. “No. Yeah. I love you, too. Okay. Mommy, can I stay here for a while? Uncle Blake’s making spinach soup tomorrow.” He smiled. “I like it. Yeah.” His smile vanished. “On Sunday? Am I going with you? Oh.” He nodded. “Okay. Bye, Mommy.”
Blake had set out their plates with the warmed flour tortillas on the table. “So what did she say?”
“She said she’s coming on Sunday.” The round blue eyes began to water, and his voice was choked as he added, “I don’t want to leave yet.”
“You won’t, Kevin. I promise you, the next time you go with your mommy, you’re going to have a nice warm house, and a nice baby-sitter, and your mommy will go to work. She won’t drink anymore.” Knowing Paula, Blake felt a moment of despair. How could she ever accomplish such things? If she loves these kids enough, she can do it, he thought. I have to remind her on Sunday that she’s not alone. The Lord can help her find her way back.
“Will I see you when I go live with her?”
Blake reached over and gathered him into his arms. “Oh, yes. Wherever you are, I’ll be close by. No matter what. We’re like two of the three musketeers.”
Kevin seemed satisfied with that. “Mara’s the other musket-ear. Can we watch that show again?”
“Sure. Why not?”
“Tomorrow?”
“We’re going to your grandma’s tomorrow, but if we get up early and go, we should get home in time. We can stay up late since church isn’t till after lunch.”
“Yay!”
After dinner, they played several games of Memory. Blake made sure to lose every other hand. He had to try less hard to lose now since Kevin was really improving. In another year, I might actually have to work at winning, Blake thought.
When they tired of the game, they changed for bed and brushed their teeth. “Come on, I’ll tuck you in,” Blake said.
“Will you sing?”
“Sure.” Blake sat with Mara on the edge of Kevin’s bed and sang Kevin’s favorite songs. Doing so reminded him of Amanda and how she’d asked him to sing her “Itsy Bisty Spider.” Crazy. No way he’d do that. Was it just an excuse for her to refuse him?
Then again, it had been her idea to let the social worker think they were dating. He smiled as he remembered. What was so wrong with that? He wanted to date her—he’d asked her out. And she’d said to call.
So he’d call.
But he wasn’t singing that stupid song to her. He wouldn’t tell her about his schooling, either. She’d have to accept him as he was.
After changing another diaper, he settled Mara in her crib and then gave Kevin a final hug and kiss before turning out the lights.
He didn’t go to the phone right away. He went first to the dryer and removed the array of bathroom items he’d put inside, making a mound by the machine. The collection in the washer made the pile grow. He put in a load of Mara’s clothes so she’d have something clean to wear the next day. All her undershirts were stained, and he sprayed them several times before adding non-chlorine bleach. Funny the tricks he’d picked up over the years raising Kevin.
He thought of Paula and the smile on his face died. So many clothes he’d bought for Kevin when he’d been with him, but each time the child had returned with only the clothes on his back. Sometimes Blake wondered if Paula had hocked the better items to pay for her habits.
Shaking his head, he closed the washer and started the cycle. It was
time to call—or not. The thought of Amanda made him strangely happy, as though she were here in the room, her bright green eyes smiling up at him.
He had to call her. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he did.
Chapter Ten
Amanda knew it was childish, but she made the list on a page in her journal.
Blake Simmons
Pros
can fix appliances
persistent, doesn’t give up
good with children
can change diapers
can make bottles
loves books (has a lot of them)
is kind to old widows
uses a car seat
loyal
Kevin and Mara
responsible
works hard
is dang good-looking
eyes like pools of chocolate
Cons
boring job (probably low-paying)
stubborn
acts like a child
shoves things in closets
forgets to wash dishes
messy house
was rather rude to me when I found Mara
left Mara in the truck ALONE! (no sense?)
enables his cousin’s bad behavior
Kevin and Mara
very occupied
probably isn’t around enough
makes me worry about my hair
eyes like pools of chocolate (makes it hard to think!)
She shook her head. This was getting her absolutely nowhere. Each of the pros had an opposite con. Maybe it was true that many people cited the exact same reasons for divorcing as they did for marrying, only worded differently.
He had, at least, asked her out. Yes, she had messed that up by requiring him to sing the song, but she had told him to call. If he did, what would she say? Getting involved with him didn’t seem like a very good idea. Did she want the responsibility of two children who didn’t belong to either of them? A relationship was hard enough—throwing two children in the mix could make it impossible. Never mind that they were adorable. Never mind that she could feel her biological clock ticking louder every year. Never mind that she’d take Kevin and Mara in a minute if the situation were reversed.
Huntington Family Series Page 11
