Amanda was shocked. Was she so shallow? Had she determined that she was too good for someone who might not have had the opportunity of receiving an education? “Well,” she said after a long pause, “I’m sure Blake is man enough to stand up for himself whether or not he has a job that requires an education.”
“He certainly can,” Kerrianne agreed.
Amanda didn’t reply.
“Now don’t be mad, Manda. I was just pointing out that you are attracted to powerful men.”
“You make me sound like a snob.”
“No, not a snob.” Regret filled her sister’s voice. “I just meant . . . well, a man chooses a certain job because of who he is. And to some degree, he becomes who he is because of his job. You seem to be attracted to the type of guy who has a, well, a white-collar job—as opposed to manual work. Does that make sense? Either type can be a good man, depending on a woman’s taste. I thought it was too bad that Blake, this really good-looking, nice, father-type, wasn’t the kind of man you’d go for. That’s all.”
Stated that way, it didn’t sound so horrible. Amanda could live with the fact that she was attracted to men with jobs that required degrees, not because of the job itself, but because the type of man she yearned for just happened to desire that type of job.
So where did that leave her and Blake?
Exactly nowhere.
I don’t look down on what he does for a living, she told herself. I’m just not attracted to him.
Yeah, right. And I think he’s ugly, too.
Boy, was she a liar. She needed to repent—and soon. Still, the truth remained that he wasn’t her type, which meant she wasn’t his type, either.
“Manda? I didn’t mean anything bad by it,” Kerrianne said. “Forgive me? Please?”
“Of course. It’s forgotten.”
“If it were me, however,” Kerrianne continued. “He’s one man I wouldn’t mind taking a look at—if I wasn’t already married.”
“Kerrianne!” Amanda didn’t know what bothered her most, her sister’s confession or the surge of jealousy that shot through her heart.
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m definitely not looking.”
“That’s a relief,” Amanda said dryly.
“I do wonder sometimes . . .” She trailed off.
Amanda wasn’t sure where Kerrianne was going with this. “Wonder what?”
“I mean, I only had a year of college, and I didn’t like it much. And Adam, well, he’s talking about going back for his doctorate. It’s kind of intimidating. I worry—I worry that he’ll outgrow me.”
“Nonsense! You’re an intelligent woman.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t been to college, and I don’t even like to read. Adam loves his books.”
“He loves you. And you do read, whether you enjoy it or not. You always know what’s going on in the world.”
“I try to keep up with him, that’s all.”
Amanda had never heard her sister sound so unsure of herself. Odd that Amanda would be the one to comfort her “perfect” sister. “Adam loves you,” she repeated. “That’s plain to see. No, he adores you.”
Kerrianne gave a little laugh. “He does, really. Don’t mind me. I’m sure it’s just the hormones talking. I’ll be more stable once a few more months go by. Having a baby can make you crazy, you know?”
Amanda didn’t know—at least not from personal experience—but she agreed anyway.
“I really do have a good life,” Kerrianne continued. “I guess that’s why I wish you could find someone like Adam.”
“I’m sure I will some day.” Amanda spoke the words without conviction.
“Well, anyway, those kids were adorable. Misty took right to Kevin, and you should have seen her bringing dolls and blankets for Mara. She so wanted Caleb to be a sister. Now she has a little girl to play with—at least during the day.”
“If it becomes too much for you—”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure. I have someone in mind to watch them if I can’t do it.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate it.” Amanda lay back on the couch, relaxing now that she was sure Kerrianne wasn’t going to talk about the possibility of a relationship between her and Blake. “Their mother doesn’t seem very responsible. It makes me happy they’ll have you.”
“Well, they have Blake, too, don’t forget. From what I see, he’s really good with them.”
Amanda sighed internally, glad she had not confessed her attraction to her sister. Kerrianne would be hard to control if she thought she had a matchmaking opportunity.
“I have to go,” Kerrianne said. “Adam’s got the table set for dinner.”
Amanda bade her sister good-bye and hung up the phone.
Going into the kitchen, she found herself tipping the container that had held the spinach soup into her mouth to get every last drop.
* * *
Much later, hours after she had turned out the light in her bedroom, a shrill sound pierced Amanda’s awareness. She sat up, holding a hand over her pounding heart. The smoke alarm? Reaching for the phone, she considered calling the fire department.
She sniffed the air, but there was no acrid smell of smoke.
Oh, it’s that stupid stove again.
Wearily, she climbed from bed and padded barefoot into the kitchen. She pressed the clock button, changing the timing mode back to the display of the hours. The clock read 1:38 am. Stifling an urge to find her old baseball bat and beat the appliance to smithereens, she stomped back to bed.
Chapter Fourteen
Blake never remembered being so tired. When he wasn’t at work that week, he was at school or with Kevin and Mara. In his “free” time late at night, he did homework or read the lessons his Internet teacher had posted. He didn’t know how much longer he could keep up this schedule, but surely he could make it at least until the semester was out. Then he would think about stretching out his last semester, taking only one or two classes. It might take another year that way, but he couldn’t see any other option.
There was no regret in his heart as Blake mentally made this sacrifice. As tired as he was, as overwhelmed as he felt, the time he spent with Kevin and Mara put everything into perspective. He adored every minute with them. He wouldn’t send them away for all the sleep and study time in the world.
Being a “single parent” wasn’t easy, though he had learned the routine well enough since Kevin’s birth. Two children, he soon discovered, didn’t mean double the work but triple or quadruple. Sometimes all he could do to maintain sanity was to shake his head and laugh.
Then young Julianna from next door called on Thursday at the last minute to tell him she couldn’t baby-sit after all that night, and he couldn’t find one laugh left inside.
After he made a few phone calls, his desperation grew. Rhonda and Doug weren’t home, Garth from upstairs was on a date, and all the neighbors he thought he could trust with the children didn’t answer their phones. Even Kerrianne’s number was answered by her voice mail. He hung up without leaving a message.
What am I going to do? He couldn’t miss school that night—not when he was as far behind as he was.
Maybe he could take the children with him. Kevin might be okay in the hall with some crayons, and Blake could hold Mara by the door so he could still hear and yet not disturb the others. He’d seen young women do it before at BYU, and when the babies invariably cried, he’d always felt a rush of irritation at their lack of preparation. In his view, they should have found baby-sitters or finished their education at another time. After all, he was paying for his education and deserved a distraction-free environment. Now he felt guilty for those past thoughts. Had the woman been as desperate as he felt tonight?
“Get your shoes,” he told Kevin. “I think you’ll have to go with me.”
“Okay.” Kevin looked up from the book he was thumbing through.
Mara was lying on the floor, chewing on her fist. Her nose was running, and she’d been irritable. Kerrianne told him she migh
t be teething and that the crankiness could last for weeks. Blake prayed she’d be good. At least the diarrhea hadn’t returned.
She began to cry and rub at her eyes as he put on her coat.
“Her’s tired,” Kevin said helpfully.
“Not as tired as I am.”
Kevin shrugged. “Then let’s stay home.”
“I have to go. And I can’t leave you home alone.” Even if he didn’t stay the whole time, he might be able to evoke some sympathy from his teacher and the offer of detailed notes from one of the other students.
“Amanda will come over.” Kevin was looking at his bracelet. “Her likes us.”
“She likes you,” Blake said through gritted teeth, his patience completely sapped.
Kevin smiled up at him, his blue eyes wide and innocent. “I know. So can we call her?”
“Call her? Call her? Why not?” Blake threw up his hands. He’d tried so hard that week not to think about Miss Amanda Huntington, the green-eyed enchantress who wanted only to be friends. “Why shouldn’t I call her? After all she seems to care for you guys just as much as I do.”
You just want to see her again, said a voice inside his head.
“I do not!” he growled aloud.
Kevin and Mara stared at him uncertainly.
“Never mind,” he said more softly. “I’ll go call her right now.”
She picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Hi, Amanda. It’s me, Blake.”
“Hi, Blake. How are you?”
Was it his imagination, or did she actually sound happy to hear from him? “I’m fine. Well, actually, I’m rather in a bind tonight. I have to leave, and my baby-sitter cancelled at the last minute. I can’t find anyone to help out. I called my sister-in-law, Kerrianne, my neighbors, even the president of our ward’s Relief Society.”
“And then you called me.”
This time the tone of her voice was definitely annoyed. But was she irritated because she was last on his list of people to call or because he’d asked her to watch the children at all? He decided to do as many good men before him had done—pretend he didn’t hear the irritation.
“I’m so sorry to disturb your evening,” he said in a rush. “I know you’ve got millions of things to do, but I didn’t know who else to call. There aren’t many people I’d trust with the children. I’ll understand if you can’t watch them. I can just take them with me, but . . .” He was still reluctant to tell her about his class. “Well, it’s really hard. They’d be miserable. I’m already going to be late. I’m supposed to be there at seven but—”
“I can watch them.”
“You can? Thanks so much.” Relief swept through him.
“It’s nothing. I told you on Saturday I’d be glad to help out.”
“Well, I hope I’m not ruining anything—like a date or something.” He could have kicked himself for saying the words.
“No, I wasn’t going out.”
He felt even more relief. “Okay, I’ll bring them over.”
“How long are you going to be gone?”
“Till ten-thirty. About four hours.”
“Then I’ll come to your place. Kevin and Mara will need to go to bed before you get home.”
“Oh, I couldn’t ask you—”
“Aren’t you late already? I’ll be right there. I’m walking out the door now.”
“Thanks. I owe you one.”
“Right.” She hung up the phone.
Blake had just enough time to stuff the mess in the living room under the cushions on the couch, load his backpack into the car, and change Mara for bed before Amanda arrived at the back door, carrying both her purse and an off-white book bag. She looked wonderful in a soft brown dress that accentuated her narrow waist. Her blonde hair was caught back in a clip today, making her high cheekbones more prominent.
“Can I come in?” She smiled at him, her right cheek dimpling.
Realizing he was staring, he stepped back from the door and let her into the kitchen. “They’re all fed and ready for bed,” he said. “But Kevin needs to brush his teeth.”
“What about Mara’s diaper?”
“All clean. The diarrhea hasn’t returned. She’s tired, though.”
Mara crawled over to the door, mumbling and whining. Amanda picked her up. “It’s okay, sweetie.”
“Even though she’s not hungry, she may want a bottle before she sleeps. I always hold her while I feed it to her, and she usually drops off in a few minutes.” Blake didn’t look at Amanda as he spoke, feeling the heat rise to his face. Why should he be embarrassed that he held Mara each night until she slept? In his mind, babies deserved to be rocked to sleep.
“So I guess you feed her formula,” Amanda said.
“Yeah, it’s there on the counter.”
“I know how to make it,” Kevin informed her.
Amanda grinned at Kevin. “Then you shall certainly help me. We’re going to have a super time tonight,” she promised. “I brought you a great bedtime story! It’s about pirates.”
“Yay!” Kevin jumped up and down, his eyes radiant.
Amanda smiled at him before turning her emerald gaze on Blake. “Shouldn’t you be going?”
Problem was, Blake didn’t want to go anymore. He wanted to stay here with Amanda and the children. “Yeah,” he made himself say. “Kevin knows my cell phone number if you need it. He can even dial if your hands are full with Mara.” Having no excuse to stay, Blake took his keys and left the apartment.
* * *
Well, at least he’s not dressed up, Amanda thought as she watched Blake leave, his dark hair slightly standing on end in the front as though he’d been rubbing above his forehead. At first she had been excited when he’d called—inordinately so, to her mind—but when he’d asked her to baby-sit, her disappointment had been hard to hide. Not that she didn’t want to help him, but because she’d wanted him to want her. Instead, he wanted her to watch the children so he could go out.
Out where? On a date? She could only assume so since he had completely avoided telling her where. Even though he was only dressed in jeans, topped by a navy and maroon sweater, he looked too good to be going to the grocery store. On the other hand, he wasn’t dressed up enough for a church meeting—unless it was being held at a member’s house.
“Where’s the book?” Kevin asked. “What else do you have in your purse?”
Shrugging aside her lingering disappointment, Amanda settled on the love seat with Kevin and Mara. “Well, I was going to save it until after the pirate story, but now that you mention it, there might be something interesting in my purse.”
She pulled out three postcard-sized puzzles of insects in their natural environments. Kevin eagerly dumped out the first one on his lap. “Cool, cool,” he said, fingering the pieces.
“We can’t forget our snack.” She handed him a small white package. “No study of insects would be complete without tasting them!”
Kevin’s eyes widened, but he started giggling when he saw that the insects in the package were made of fruit.
“I most particularly like the flies and beetles,” she informed him gravely. “They are the best.”
Kevin eagerly tasted each one as Amanda helped him put together the puzzle. While they worked, she wondered if he would enjoy the astronomy section she was doing with her class now—with Savvy’s help—as much as he seemed to enjoy the insects. With only a small effort she could simplify the information for Kevin.
“My mommy like puzzles,” Kevin said, glancing up at her and then back down to his lap.
Amanda felt her smile fade. What was she thinking? She didn’t know how long Kevin and Mara would be with Blake, much less if she would see them again. The thought made her somehow deeply sad.
“She likes puzzles, huh?” she said.
“Yeah. Her helped me to do some once. It was fun.”
Amanda had to ask, “Do you miss your mom?”
He shrugged. “I wish Mommy c
ould live with us. But I’m gonna stay here with Uncle Blake.” He put in a piece and then added, “I’m going to see her Saturday. We’re eating lunch.”
“That sounds nice.”
He smiled and nodded.
Amanda felt something poking her from under the couch cushion, making her perch slightly awkward. She stood up and pulled off the cushion, revealing two picture books, a math textbook, several scraps of paper with scribbled equations, a broken pencil, an eraser, dried orange peels, and several wrappers from granola bars. A few toys poked out from under the other cushion.
“Uncle Blake didn’t have time to put stuff away before you came,” Kevin explained.
“I see.” Amanda smoothed out the mess a bit, put the couch cushion back on top, and sat down. She would let Blake keep his secrets.
They completed all three puzzles twice and then read the book about pirates. Mara was fussing by then, and Amanda let Kevin help her make a bottle. She began reading another book to the children, but before she was halfway through, Mara was asleep, most of her milk still in the bottle.
“I’ll put her in bed if you can put the bottle in the fridge,” she told Kevin.
“But can we read the rest after?”
“Of course. I brought a bunch more books, too.”
“Put on the nightlight,” Kevin called after her. “Mara gets scared sometimes. It’s magic like my bracelet. It won’t let bugs come.”
“Okay.” Amanda hid her smile in Mara’s hair. The baby didn’t stir as she put her in the crib and tiptoed from the room, stopping to flip the switch on the nightlight by Kevin’s bed.
She was barely out the door when the phone rang. Probably Blake checking up on us, she thought.
Kevin got to the phone first. “Hello? Oh, hi, Mommy.” He listened for what seemed like a long time to Amanda and then, “No. He’s not here. Uh-uh. I’m not alone. Amanda’s here. No, big like you. Julianna was coming but then her couldn’t. Okay.” Kevin handed the phone to Amanda.
“Hello?” Amanda said.
“Hello, I’m Kevin and Mara’s mother, Paula.”
“Hi, Paula. I’m, um, Blake’s friend.”
“I’ll bet.” Paula’s giggle was all out of proportion to the comment, and Amanda wondered if she had been drinking. “Well, I need to leave a message for Blake.”
Huntington Family Series Page 15
