LaNae dropped his hand as though it had suddenly burned her. “You didn’t tell me she was coming home.”
He shrugged. “I only found out myself a few days ago. Her sister called.”
“I don’t see why you have to go see her.” Her jaw clenched as though she hated voicing the words.
“We’re old friends–of course I want to see her.” Though if he were truthful, Savvy might not exactly welcome his presence. She hadn’t told him herself that she was coming.
“Can I go with you?”
Tyler was beginning to feel sick. He really, really didn’t want LaNae to go, but he knew that feeling was wrong. LaNae was the woman he was thinking about spending eternity with, and she should be his first concern. “You can. Of course, you can,” he found himself saying. “But I don’t know exactly when the plane is coming in or what the plan is for lunch. I was going to swing by the house and say hi, that’s all. I don’t know if I could have you back here on time. Honestly, it’s not a big deal.”
She didn’t reply, but her face was rigid, and Tyler wanted to kick himself. Why did he have to hurt her? He didn’t want to.
After a few moments, she spoke. “You don’t want me to go, do you?” Her perception was one of the things he had always loved about her–until now.
“It was rather awkward the last time,” he admitted. “With her family and all.”
LaNae had shown up uninvited for Savvy’s homecoming dinner at Tony Roma’s. Tyler remembered how Savvy’s vibrant smile had frozen on her face. Her blue, blue eyes met his. “Your girlfriend?” she’d asked. He thought he saw a disappointment there, something so deep and filled with hurt that it made him want to take her into his arms. Or to deny his relationship with LaNae. Anything to make Savvy smile again. Yet how he could feel that way, or why he should imagine such hurt in her eyes was beyond his understanding. After all, they were just friends, and LaNae really was his girlfriend. He had to admit to that.
“We’ve been dating over three weeks,” LaNae had replied, grabbing Tyler’s arm possessively. “He’s a keeper.”
Savvy had nodded and turned back to the conversation with her family. For the rest of the meal, she was gracious to him and LaNae, but there was an impassable wall between them. Later she didn’t return his calls. He’d become involved with a big story at work and before he knew it, she’d gone back to California. There had been no opportunity to talk, to find out what had gone so dreadfully wrong between them. When he’d finally called her in California, she’d talked to him, though distantly. They’d even exchanged a few letters, but things were definitely awkward between them. He hoped to repair that today.
“I told you a hundred times I was sorry for showing up like that,” LaNae said. “I didn’t know it would turn out so awful. Are you still holding that against me?”
“No, of course not. But Savvy doesn’t even know I’m coming. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
“Go, then,” LaNae retorted, folding her slender arms over her stomach. “Do what you want.”
Tyler knew LaNae was touchy about Savvy, but he’d never expected this vehemence. She was generally sweet and understanding. What was going on? Had he missed something? “Honestly,” he tried again, “it’s not a big deal.”
LaNae turned in her chair and typed something on her computer. The lazy motion of the geometric cubes vanished, replaced by a Windows icon.
“LaNae?”
No reply.
Women! They could be so infuriating.
He stood up to leave, retreat seeming the best solution. “Let’s talk later, okay? What about tonight?” She still didn’t look up, so he walked away.
Outside, it was still raining, though lightly, and the breeze blew the drops into his face. Halfway to the Jeep, he stopped and turned around. He couldn’t leave things like that with LaNae. Better to have her come with him and risk making things worse between him and Savvy. At the very least, he should try to talk to LaNae–providing she didn’t call security and have him thrown out. He’d seen her do that once with an unruly student.
Yes, that was the responsible thing to do. He darted back inside the building. Removing his glasses, he cleaned them on his shirttails and then tucked the shirt back in. He tried to brush the dust from the box off his chest, but it clung like a scum on the top of a stagnant pond.
Great.
LaNae wasn’t at her desk, but Tyler refused to be daunted. He thought about asking a co-worker but instead went down the aisles himself. At the last cubicle, one seemingly more isolated than the others, he saw LaNae with her new friend Rob. She had tears on her cheeks, and Rob’s arm was around her comfortingly. Without seeing Tyler, they walked through a back door and disappeared.
I blew it, he thought, staring down at the dirt on his shirt. The numb feeling he’d had since being fired intensified. What kind of man loses his job and alienates his girlfriend all in one day?
I need to talk to Savvy. Yes. That was it. She’d understand. She’d help him figure out what to do, how to smooth things over with LaNae. Savvy had always been there for him when he needed her.
As he walked to his Jeep, he pulled out his cell phone, scrolled through his contacts, and called Savvy’s younger sister, Camille. Of Savvy’s four siblings, the soft-spoken Camille was his favorite.
“Hi, Tyler,” she said, picking up on the second ring. “I was just going to call you.”
Rain dripped down his head and into his ear. “Are you at the airport? Has her plane come in?”
“No, I’m still in American Fork. We were about to leave for the airport when Savvy called. I know how much you were looking forward to seeing her, but she’s not coming home. Something very serious has happened.”
Chapter Two
Savvy Hergarter was stuffing last-minute items into her suitcase when the doorbell rang, reverberating through the small apartment. Probably Chris, ready to take her and Miranda to the airport. She’d finished up her summer finals, worked her last shift at the planetarium, and was flying home to visit for nearly twelve days before returning for school–this time to finish her remaining two classes and co-teach a beginning class to freshmen. After this semester, she’d begin her master’s.
She was eager to see her family. Four months had passed since she’d left Utah, and missing them had grown to a sharp ache in her chest. Camille had written about a boy she was dating, and Savvy couldn’t believe her twenty-year-old sister was seriously considering marriage. She hoped the others hadn’t changed too much in her absence. Rosalie would begin college in September, and the twins, Gabriel and Forest, were fourteen now and would start ninth grade next week.
“The door is probably for you,” said Miranda Guercio, her short, small-boned, dark-skinned roommate who was heading home to Texas–for good. She was speaking Spanish at the moment, but Savvy hardly noticed. Spanish had become an integral part of her life on her mission, and she loved practicing with Miranda every chance she had.
“Yeah, he’s early. I’m almost finished, but I need to get my makeup from the bathroom.” Savvy surveyed her freshly made bed, looking neat and welcoming compared to Miranda’s bare mattress. “I just wish you–” Savvy broke off and let out a long sigh.
Miranda smiled, her dark eyes gleaming. “Don’t worry. We’ll write. Or at least e-mail.”
Savvy nodded, returning her friend’s smile with a sad one of her own. Writing wasn’t the same thing. She should know. She’d written to Tyler for the past two years and still didn’t know what he wanted from her. Before she’d left on her mission, he’d told her his heart was breaking. “You already broke mine a long time ago,” she’d replied. She wished now that she’d never told him that truth.
At the time she’d hoped he was finally growing up. That at last he would understand what was important in life and realize they were meant for each other. But it was she who had been wrong. He might have grown up while she was serving a mission, but they hadn’t been meant for each other after all. T
hat was the real reason she’d left Utah to study at Berkeley. Or at least the compelling reason. Yes, she’d run away.
The thought shook her deeply. How after all these months could she still think of him so much? It wasn’t as if he was the only man in her life. Chris Davis–stable, loyal, brilliant, handsome Chris–was here for her now. He was safe. She didn’t need or want Tyler.
Shaking off the melancholy, she flipped her straight blonde hair over her shoulder and bent down to pick up a suitcase. “These are heavy,” she said. “It’s going to take two trips.”
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Miranda said as Savvy headed into the hall.
The aroma of the waffle breakfast they had eaten earlier that morning still lingered in the air, complete with the scent of sweet maple syrup. Savvy had indulged more than usual, but she had done well at maintaining her weight over the past months and a few pancakes shouldn’t set her back that far. Regardless, she would never look like the tiny Miranda. Savvy would always be curvaceous, and she had long ago come to terms with the fact that her body was meant to carry an extra few pounds. It hadn’t seemed to make a difference in her relationships–she’d received eight serious proposals of marriage during her early years at BYU. Unfortunately, none of them had come from Tyler. Why she’d been so cursed to be in love with him was something she’d spent late nights wondering.
All that was now in the past. Savvy was ready to finish her degree in astronomy and go on with her life. She was almost sure that going on meant having Chris in her future. Chris was a guy in her ward, a returned missionary, now working on a master’s degree in astrophysics at Berkeley. They’d met at the summer ward barbecue where he had been flipping burgers. Upon hearing that Savvy was studying astronomy at Berkeley, he had launched into a discussion on spiral galaxies that had fascinated her. A week later, he’d helped her get a job at the planetarium.
Since then they’d spent many hours together talking about their shared interest in the complex workings of the heavens. Unbeknownst to him, his excitement had reawakened her deep love and fascination for astronomy, feelings that had suffered during her preoccupation with Tyler. Suddenly she couldn’t wait to open her textbooks again, to study the stars, to dream about space. To her great relief, even math regained its place of honor in her life. She now understood that whatever the impetus, transferring to Berkeley had been the right thing to do.
The doorbell rang for the second time as Savvy entered the small living room. Dropping her suitcase to the ground, she went to the door, smiling widely in anticipation of seeing Chris. Her smile faltered as she looked instead upon a scrawny teenage girl clutching a bulging backpack that looked ready to burst at any moment. The girl wore sandals, frayed shorts that barely covered her behind, and a red tube-top that left her shoulders and stomach bare, revealing the glint of a belly button ring. Her shoulder-length hair, bleached white and poorly cut in layers, was pushed to the side to reveal a wide forehead and an ear that sported multiple piercings. Her skin was pale, almost translucent, odd for summer in California. Black eyeliner and shadow emphasized bright blue eyes that were strangely familiar.
“Can I help you?” Savvy asked, darting a quick glance up and down the outside porch that linked all of the second-story apartments, searching for signs of a companion or maybe a parent. Nothing. Down below in the street there was no car at the curb, no adult waiting.
“I’m looking for someone,” the girl said. “I hope she still lives here, because if not, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”
“Do you want Miranda? She’s my roommate.”
“I’m looking for my sister.” The girl’s eyes held a sense of desperation that evoked Savvy’s sympathy. “I’ve been on a bus all day and night, and then I hitched a ride from the station. She has to be here. If she’s gone back to her family, I don’t think they would be happy to see me.”
Savvy arched a brow. “But wouldn’t her family be your family?”
“It’s not like that.” The girl’s frustration was growing. She stared at Savvy intently, as though trying to see inside her head.
“Tell me her name,” Savvy said gently. “I’ll try to help you.” She was almost certain the girl had the wrong address. This child didn’t look like she could be related to Miranda.
“Her name’s Savannah–Savannah Hergarter.” The girl lifted her chin as though getting ready for rejection. Her left shoulder jerked twice in a sort of violent half shrug. “I gotta find her.”
Savvy’s breath caught in her throat. It can’t be, she thought. My sisters are Camille and Rosalie. Yet even as the thoughts rushed through her brain, she knew it was possible. This girl could be her sister–her half sister. Aloud she managed to say, “I’m Savvy Hergarter.”
Relief filled the girl’s face as she let her backpack down on the porch. “I should have known. You look like him in the eyes.”
His eyes. The girl’s eyes.
“I look like my mother,” Savvy rejoined.
The girl smirked, her desperation vanishing completely. Bending over, she took a photograph from an outer pocket of her backpack and handed it to Savvy.
There it was, a picture similar to one Savvy had in her own album back home. A tiny girl, nearly two years old, was walking hand in hand with a man she barely recognized: her father. Not Jesse Hergarter, the man who had married her divorced mother and later adopted her, but her birth father, her mother’s first husband. A huge roller coaster spanned the sky in back of the man and child. She didn’t remember the day, but her mother had told her it was the first and last time her father had come to see her after the divorce.
In an instant, Savvy was transported back to her childhood. Not to the day in the picture but to a day years later when she’d stumbled across a similar picture lying loose at the back of an old photo album. “Who is he?” she’d asked.
Her mother had explained how her birth father had come to take her to Lagoon, the local amusement park. He’d brought his new wife, who had been trying without success to have a baby of her own. When Savvy pressed for more information, her mother had told her that her father’s new wife was hoping to share custody of Savvy.
“But you didn’t want to share custody?” Savvy shivered at the possibility. She couldn’t imagine living with that stranger in the photo. No matter how tall or attractive, he simply couldn’t be her daddy. Jesse was her daddy, and she loved only him.
Her mother had pulled her close. “Oh, Savvy, it’s hard to explain, but I’ll try. Derek–your father–had fallen away from the Church, and neither he nor his wife was interested in any of our values. I was scared about your future. I was willing to let him spend time with you but not willing to let you go live with him for extended periods. You were a tiny baby when we divorced, so you didn’t even know who he was.”
“What happened?”
“After coming to see you, Derek had a change of heart.” Her mother paused, her eyes tearful. “He saw how much Jesse loved you and decided that you really did belong with us. At the same time his wife became pregnant. She was really sick and even hospitalized at one point. She decided not to pursue custody and encouraged Derek to let Jesse adopt you. We were very grateful.”
As far as Savvy knew, her birth father had never tried to contact her again. Mostly she’d been glad because she loved Jesse–her real father, as she called him–so much, but sometimes when she was feeling sad, she wondered what was wrong with her that her birth father had not wanted to see her. Logically, she knew those feelings were unfounded–what could have been wrong with a two-year-old? Still, the idea remained.
That’s all behind me now, Savvy thought. Or was it? That past was in fact staring her in the face.
“He’s Derek Roathe,” the girl said, snatching back the picture as though afraid Savvy would want to keep it. “He’s my father. Your father, too.”
Savvy was having a hard time breathing. In, out, she told herself. In, out.
Behind the girl, Chris’s navy convertible ro
lled up to the curb. “My ride,” Savvy said. “I’ve got to catch a plane.” She would be glad to escape this encounter, to think about it from a distance.
At her words, the girl on the porch lost all appearance of calm. “No! I’ve come so far! The least you can do is talk to me!”
She was right. Underneath the shock, Savvy was experiencing a potent curiosity. Did the girl have siblings? She was certainly too young to be the baby her father’s new wife had been expecting all those years ago. How many children did her father have? Where were they? Where was he? And why had he never asked to see her?
Savvy shook that last question from her mind. She certainly didn’t care to know why he’d kept away. He was nothing to her life. Nothing but a donated cell. Jesse was the man who’d been there for her. He was the man who’d gone on campouts, taught her to fish, baptized her, and read her stories for hours at night. He loved her, and she wouldn’t have any other father for anything in the whole world.
“Please.” The girl’s black-rimmed eyes were full of tears, her hands balled in fists at her sides.
Savvy blinked the tears from her own eyes. “Of course,” she said softly. “I’ll take a later plane.” It would be expensive, but what choice did she have? “Please, go on in and wait for me on the couch. I’ll need to tell him”–she motioned at Chris who was coming up the stairs–“that I’m not going. Then we’ll find some place to talk.” She took two steps past the girl before asking, “What’s your name, anyway?”
“Lexi.”
Savvy nodded and reached to help her with her backpack, but the girl quickly bent and slung it over her shoulder. As she stepped inside, Savvy noticed they were a similar height, though she suspected Lexi would grow taller. Evidently, the girl had taken after their father in height while Savvy had received her mother’s genes.
“Ready to go?” Chris had reached the top of the stairs and smiled at her, one hand on the black cast iron railing. Dressed today in baggy brown knee-length shorts, a T-shirt, and sandals, he looked younger than the graduate student he was. He was tall and big-boned, and his dark brown hair and gray eyes gave him a rather exotic look. Those gray eyes had studied the stars; they were patient eyes that could stare into a telescope and wait for hours to document some rare phenomenon. If his forehead was a bit narrow and his nose slightly pointed, these were made up for by the full lips, chiseled face, and wide shoulders. His height definitely made Savvy feel small and protected.
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