“Who’s your friend, Maxine?” Ryan asked. “A lot better looking than your last date. Better company, too, I’ll bet.”
He doesn’t recognize me. Mortified, Kerrianne wished she hadn’t come backstage with Maxine. She knew she’d been rather uncaring about her appearance of late, but how could he not recognize her? Only that morning he’d played ball with her son. She’d even remembered what his legs looked like in the summer. Was she so unremarkable that he didn’t remember her at all?
“Well, she didn’t fall asleep, that’s for sure.” Maxine gave Kerrianne a pleased glance. “But you already know her. Look closer. Guess who?”
Kerrianne could have killed Maxine.
“Now that you mention it, she does look kind of famili—”
“Dad!” A young child wearing a cap burst into view. “They’re having a cast party over at Dawn’s. Can I go? Just for a while? Dawn said to tell you that she’d watch me if you aren’t coming.”
“Is this your daughter?” Maxine asked.
“Yes, this is Ria.” Ryan pulled off her cap, releasing a mass of straight, shiny, black hair that fell to her jaw line. Kerrianne couldn’t be sure, but the girl seemed to have a slight olive cast to her skin. Must be from her mother, she thought. Her eyes were impossible to put a color to in the dim light, but they were definitely dark.
“Nice job tonight,” Maxine said. “I really believed you were a peasant boy. I thought you pretended to mimic Robin Hood very well. I’ve never seen that version before. You did a great job.”
“Thank you. It was fun.” Ria gave her a fleeting smile before looking back at Ryan. “Can I go, Dad? Can I?”
“Sure. But only for an hour. I’ll be there in a while. We have church early.”
“Thanks,” the girl said breathlessly. She pulled her cap from her father’s fingers, shoving it onto her head.
As she started to turn away, Ryan asked. “Where’s your brother?”
Ria paused near Kerrianne. “He’s out on the front row, talking to Sam. He’ll want to come, too. Can he?”
“Not without me. I’ll bring him when I come. But don’t take off until the props are put away.”
“I know, I know.” Ria darted behind Kerrianne and out onto the stage.
Ryan grinned at them, and Kerrianne was angered by the warmth in her stomach. She didn’t want to be attracted to this man. Even if he didn’t already have a family, she certainly wouldn’t be interested.
Jostling past actors in the tight backstage, they began moving back the way they had come. “I’d better check on Tiger,” Ryan was saying to Maxine. “Have to see that he’s not making a pest of himself.”
Kerrianne trailed after them, glad Ryan hadn’t recognized her and that she’d been saved further humiliation. At the first opportunity she would disappear up an aisle and wait for Maxine outside by the car. With any luck, she wouldn’t have to face his gray stare again or feel that disturbing warmth.
They had managed to squeeze past more actors and were finally free of the backstage area, when Ryan stopped and turned abruptly in her direction. She came within an inch of hitting into him. Up this close she could see each tiny hair of his trim beard and smell the slight odor of maleness that had always lingered after Adam exercised hard—apparently acting was rigorous work. The scent wasn’t overwhelming enough to be unpleasant, but it evoked a flood of memories she’d forgotten: Adam riding his bike, his playing ball with the kids, their family camping in the mountains. Tears stung her eyes. Please don’t let him see, she prayed.
“Hey, I figured it out. You’re Mrs. Price—Kerrianne, right? Third house on my route. I play ball with your kids.” His eyes traveled over her face and briefly down the length of her. “Only you look different somehow.” The admiration was back in his eyes, almost like a gentle caress. Or was she imagining his interest because no man had looked at her in so very long?
“It happens when the sun goes down,” she said dryly. “Like becoming a werewolf. Takes me all day to tame the beast.” There, that ought to put him in his place.
He gave her a slow smile that did nothing but exacerbate the heat in her stomach and the rapid beating of her heart. “I find that’s true with most of the people on my route. All day, I see pajamas, curlers, and”—his grin deepened—“no shoes. After all, nobody will see them, nobody except the mailman. Yep, they all do it. All but Maxine, here, of course. She’s always dressed to perfection, no matter when I see her.”
Maxine rolled her eyes. “One of these days I’ll have to go out to get the mail with curlers in my hair.”
Ryan put a hand to his chest and staggered. “What? And cause me a heart attack?”
Maxine shook her head and tried to look bored, but her blue eyes danced with mirth. “In case you hadn’t noticed, the play is over. I know acting when I see it.”
Chuckling, Ryan did an about-face and made his way to the front row of seats. Kerrianne saw her chance to escape, but with her identity discovered, there was really no point in running away. She watched him bend down to speak to a little boy about Caleb’s age. Like his sister, he had black hair and his huge tear-filled eyes were a dark shade of brown. Upon seeing his father, the boy immediately wrapped his arms around his neck. The scene tugged at Kerrianne’s heart, while at the same a caustic thought ate its way into her mind. Adam can’t wipe away his children’s tears.
“Hey, what’s up, Tiger?” Ryan asked, hefting the boy in his arms.
“I want to go to the party.”
“Of course you do. I’ll take you as soon as we get the props put away.”
Kerrianne noticed the gorgeous blonde woman sitting next to Tiger only when she spoke. “I told him that, but he wanted to go now.” She gave a languid stare and crossed her legs, showing well-defined calves beneath her gauzy skirt.
“Thanks, Sam. I appreciate you sitting with him.”
Kerrianne wondered who she was to Ryan. She didn’t seem to be the child’s mother. And where was the mother anyway? Perhaps home taking care of another child?
“Any time.” With a graceful movement, Sam came to her feet. She touched the sleeve of Ryan’s costume, gliding her fingers briefly along his arm in the way of people who were familiar with each other. “I’ll be taking stuff out to my car if you need me.” She pivoted on her high heels, her dark eyes flicking over Maxine to linger on Kerrianne briefly and dispassionately, as though measuring her worth and finding her lacking. With a polite smile and a dismissive nod, Sam walked past Maxine and Kerrianne. With great effort, Kerrianne didn’t turn to watch her go.
“Aren’t you gonna hurry, Dad?” Tiger wiped a tear with the back of his hand.
“It’d go faster if you’d help.”
“Why don’t they help?” Tiger pointed his small finger at Maxine and Kerrianne.
Ryan laughed with an amused chuckle that made Kerrianne smile. “Because they’re the audience. You can’t ask the audience to help when they’ve paid money to see your play. Besides, these are two ladies on my mail route. This lady here has a boy your age. I play ball with him and his sister and brother sometimes.”
“You have three kids?” Tiger asked.
Kerrianne nodded.
“We only have two.”
There went Kerrianne’s idea of Ryan’s wife sitting home with another child. Maybe she was also an actress and was backstage somewhere. But then why was Sam so proprietary? Or had Kerrianne completely misread the situation?
“I’m four,” Tiger said. “Is your boy four?” When Kerrianne nodded, he rushed on. “I’m the only boy my age around here. I’m bored all the time. Where do you live? Dad, can I go to his house to play?”
“Whoa, there, Tiger. First things first. Let’s get the props into my truck.” Ryan looked up at Maxine and Kerrianne. “Some of the props I made were specifically for this play, and we won’t be needing them for the next one we do in January. With space being so tight here, I keep the stuff I build at my place. Well, at least the stuff I paid for.” He
laughed, sending a warm shiver up Kerrianne’s spine.
She tugged on Maxine’s sleeve, hoping the woman would get her message. Maxine didn’t appear to notice. “Well, after the free tickets you gave us, it would be bad manners not to help. Show me where this stuff is. Can’t be too heavy or dirty, though. As you can see, I’m in a dress.”
“Oh, no, don’t worry about it.” Ryan shook his head. “Honestly, it won’t take but fifteen minutes or so. The others will help.”
“Oh, yeah?” Maxine challenged. “Well, I just saw a bunch of teenagers leave—right behind several others in your cast. Now, I won’t take no for an answer. Show us what to carry. We have to walk outside anyway.”
“But—”
“No buts.” Maxine reached out to pat Tiger’s hand. “This young man’s tired of being here, and that’s that.”
Tiger stared at her with unconcealed admiration. “I’ll show you!” He scrambled from his father’s lap and ran up on the stage, motioning for Maxine to follow.
Ryan shook his head, chuckling. “Kids. Aren’t they amazing? I mean, they’re moody and difficult and sometimes really selfish. But they’re also, well, amazing.”
His eyes rested on Kerrianne, and she wondered if he was remembering what she looked like that morning. Not that it matters, she told herself.
“I know what you mean,” she said. Of course her situation and his weren’t at all the same. She was home with her children every day, while Ryan only dealt with his kids at night, relieving his wife. Kerrianne had no relief. Everything was up to her—soccer games, dentist appointments, homework, fixing things when the kids broke them. Sometimes the idea of doing everything was so overwhelming that it reduced her to tears. Adam wouldn’t be coming home to relieve her—ever. Sadness ate at the bands of her self-control. In her wildest dreams, she’d never imagined she would be raising her children without a father.
“Those kids make me a lucky man.” Ryan smiled as Ria emerged from the backstage door, waving at him as she went up the aisle with a friend. “I bet you and your husband feel the same.”
Kerrianne tried not to internalize those words and tried instead to ignore them. But she couldn’t. She saw Ryan several times a week and would likely have to talk to him more now that they’d been officially introduced. She couldn’t have him asking again. She willed all emotion from her voice as she forced herself to recite the ugly words she’d said so many times before. “My husband died four years ago.”
His forehead creased with sympathy. “I’m really sorry.”
She sighed, twisting the wedding ring she still wore on her finger. Everyone was sorry, but that didn’t change Adam’s death. It didn’t make them able to understand the pain she’d been through, the pain that even now sometimes took control of all her senses until she didn’t know which way was up.
“Thank you,” she managed.
He continued to look at her with concern, as though wondering what to say to ease her sorrow. Kerrianne steeled her heart for more platitudes about death.
“I have to admit that I wondered,” he said finally. “I couldn’t help noticing there wasn’t a lot of mail for him these past years.”
“There hasn’t been?” Nearly every week she still received something addressed to Adam, no matter how many letters she wrote to tell people to stop sending him things. She’d developed a new hatred of direct mail ads. Kerrianne dropped her gaze to the ground, praying that she could control her tears. Why had she ever come tonight?
Please don’t say anything more, she thought. Please don’t say you know how death feels because your favorite dog died.
Ryan shifted uncomfortably. His hand reached out to her but stopped before touching her arm. “I know it probably seems like you still get a lot of mail for your husband. It’s that way for me, too. My wife died of uterine cancer two years ago.”
Shocked, Kerrianne met his eyes. His wife was dead? Well, that certainly explained why she wasn’t here supporting him. “I’m sorry,” she replied softly, more for her thoughts than for anything else.
He shrugged. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have said anything except I wanted you to know that I understand. I really do.” He nodded at her and began walking toward the backstage area. Kerrianne stood there, watching him go. Strange how knowing that he really understood her situation gave her such comfort. She’d felt the same type of connection with Maxine. Why did it help to know that someone else had also experienced such misery?
Not knowing what else to do, Kerrianne followed Ryan backstage.
* * *
Ryan knew he’d caused her pain. Not so much by her expression but by the feelings in his own heart. He understood that pain intimately. Certain instances always brought it out—like now. He glanced behind and saw her following him. The confidence he’d noted in her earlier was gone, her face drawn into rigid lines of control. He recognized that, too, and he felt a fresh wave of hurt and loss for both of them.
He remembered how she’d been that morning, looking pretty, youthful, and unassuming in her loose sweats and bare feet. He recalled the fierce expression of love in her eyes when she looked at her son. Could it be possible she might give Ryan a second glance? He knew he was fairly good-looking, and compared with most men on the single circuit, he had relatively little baggage. No ex-wife taking up alimony and child support payments, no fighting over custody, no overt hangups that had caused a divorce, no abuse issues or past adultery. But Kerrianne Price was classy, perhaps too classy to look seriously at a down-to-earth man like him. Pulling words from her had been a challenge, but what little she’d said had been delivered with an educated lilt. Did she like him at all? And was she ready to move on? He wanted to ask but couldn’t find the right way. There was never a right way for that question.
“What can I help with?” Kerrianne asked. They were alone in the confined space, and her nearness made him forget his earlier decision to give up on women.
He pointed to several props leaning flat against the wall. “Looks like the rest of the cast has taken out most of it already. I’ll need to take those. There’s one on the stage, but Tiger and Maxine are probably getting that. The rest stays.”
She nodded and started for the props without a word.
“So,” he said, “you go to plays a lot?”
“Not in a long time.”
He took the other side of the prop she’d grabbed. Usually, he carried it himself, but it was too heavy for her alone. “I’ve always been interested in the theater. I think I got it from my mother. She’s a real arts buff. She had me in a lot of plays when I was a child.”
Kerrianne nodded and hefted her side.
“What about your family?” he probed.
“My parents and siblings go all the time.”
“Did any of them act?” Extracting information from her was worse than getting it from Ria when she was upset. Yet he sensed it wasn’t because Kerrianne was upset but rather attempting to protect herself.
“I did—a little.” There was a flare of interest in her voice that he noted and put aside for future reference. She glanced behind her. “So where are you parked?”
“Out that way.” He gestured with his chin.
Maxine and Tiger were walking off the stage with a tree prop, and they went out to the parking lot together. Others from the cast gathered around a green Chevy truck, lifting in props and several plastic totes.
“Is there much more?” a young man called to Ryan.
“Not much. You guys go ahead. I’ll meet you at the party.” Ryan’s words met approval from the small crowd.
The man jumped down from the truck, and people began dispersing to their cars. Sam sauntered up to Ryan. “Ria left with Dawn already. She said you said it was okay.”
“Thanks. I’ll be by in a bit.”
“You don’t want me to wait?”
He hesitated. For some reason he felt Kerrianne and Maxine staring at him, though they seemed to be engrossed in conversation with Tiger. “No, bett
er not. You go on ahead.”
Sam sighed, pulling her jacket closed. “You’re right.” Sudden tears gathered in her eyes, reflecting the light from the moon overhead. “In fact, I think I’ll just stay a minute and then swing home. Maybe he’ll be there.”
Ryan’s heart broke for her. “It’ll be all right,” he said. “I know it doesn’t seem that way, but someday things will work out.”
“If it weren’t for you, I might have given up on Scott already. I just wish he’d agree to counseling.”
He wanted to hug her but knew it wasn’t a good idea. She was too vulnerable, and no matter how lonely they both were, he wouldn’t be the cause of breaking up a marriage. No, whatever decision Sam made about her relationship with her husband, it had nothing to do with him. Nothing at all. Otherwise, he could never live with himself. With a heartbreaking half-smile, Sam left alone in her car.
Ryan turned and gently lifted the prop he was carrying into his truck. Then he stepped closer to the others, taking the tree from Maxine.
“Can I come play at your house?” Tiger was saying to Kerrianne.
She hesitated only briefly. “Sure. That’d be fine—if your father says it’s okay. My son would love to play with you. But only after three. I do a preschool before that in the afternoons.”
Five whole sentences. She’s becoming positively chatty, Ryan thought with a smile. Tiger seemed to have a way with her.
“Can I, Dad?” Tiger asked loudly, bouncing on his toes. “She said he has a real tent in his room with toys in it.”
Ryan was torn between taking Kerrianne up on the offer and scolding his son for inviting himself over.
Instead, he opted to avoid the issue. “We’ll see.”
“Either he can or he can’t.” Maxine faced him with a stare. “Kerrianne doesn’t mind. She loves kids. All the kids always play at her house, don’t they, Kerrianne?”
Huntington Family Series Page 91
