“Mia, you can’t keep doing this. You’re too damn young to become a hermit. Friday night you’re coming out with me.”
“No, Josie. No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. Come straight to my place after work. We’ll get ready and go from there. Pack a bag. You’re staying the night.”
Josie was stubborn at the best of times, and when she got a scheme in her head, it was near impossible to change her mind, but I had to try. I couldn’t be reckless and go out clubbing all night. With Josie, that’s exactly what it would be. All night. It was a rare occurrence that she fell into bed before dawn when she was out on one of her missions.
“I can’t, Josie. I am opening on Saturday morning. I have a nine o’clock Pilates class.”
“No, Mia, you don’t. Either Julie or Mackenzie can do it. Or you cancel. You’re coming out. One night won’t kill you.”
“Josie…”
“Mia. You will be fine. I promise. I won’t drink, so you can let loose and I’ll be there. We’ll go to this club I know, not far from my place. It’s pretty cool, but a bit out of the way. It’s not a hotspot. And I know every bartender and bouncer there. You’ll be safe. He won’t get near you. No one will. Promise.”
I felt myself cringe. I knew Josie meant every word. She’d never put me in harm’s way. When all the shit went down four years ago, she’d jumped on the first plane and raced to my side. I hadn’t been out since. As much as it terrified me, I knew it was time. I couldn’t keep going like this forever. I didn’t want to. I was too young to just give up. I didn’t want to be a broken shell. I was tough, damn it. I could kick some guy’s ass myself if I needed to. I didn’t need a bodyguard. That didn’t mean for a second I was going anywhere without one.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
“It will be fun, Mia. I promise. And the moment you’ve had enough, just say the word and we’re out the door.”
Chapter 5
Derek
I adjusted myself as discreetly as possible. Being a guy sucked sometimes. Sure, we didn’t have to suffer through childbirth or periods or painful hair removal, but to be outed every time you were horny was just cruel. I shouldn’t be sporting a boner at work. It was unprofessional and fucking painful as hell. I had no hopes of it easing anytime soon.
“Leather or denim?” a deep voice asked as a heavy hand clamped down on my shoulder.
“What?”
“Leather or denim? You spotted them first, so you get dibs. Personally, I’m loving the leather, so I’m hoping you’ll take the pixie with the fine ass.”
“You’re a pig!”
“Never said I wasn’t.”
Paul was standing beside me, his eyes firmly fixed on the two women at the bar. They were complete opposites. The one in the leather pants had long, black hair that hung down her back, covering the smooth, pale skin left exposed by her red top that could barely be called a top, more like a handkerchief. Standing next to her was a woman with the most luscious curves I’d ever seen. She was the reason all my blood had headed south without warning. She was a tiny thing, with her skinny legs encased in the darkest jeans I’d ever seen and a pale green top, with short blonde hair that looked like someone had spent days tugging on it. My fingers ached. I wanted to be the one scuffing her up like that. Then I noticed the heels. Fuck me! If I thought my black slacks were tight a moment ago, spotting those sky-high hooker heels made them feel like they were cutting off my blood supply.
“You going over there?”
“Nah. I’m working.”
“So?”
“So, I can’t hit on the customers. That shit’s not right.”
Paul stunk like cigarette smoke. It was one of those stenches that made you queasy. He wore the same as I did, the basic security guard uniform. Black shoes, black slacks, and a black shirt with ‘security’ emblazoned across the chest in huge yellow writing. If it wasn’t for that, we’d blend into the background and no one would ever notice us. But that’s not what the owner wanted. She wanted people to know we were here. Catherine, our ball buster of a boss, wanted people in her club to feel safe, and apparently having an army of beefy security guys hanging around provided that.
“Well, if you’re too much of a pussy, I’m going over.”
“Good luck!” I called out honestly. Paul liked to talk a good game, but over the months we’d been working together I’d never seen him go home with anyone. He tried, my god did he try. He just never seemed to be able to seal the deal. “I’m heading out front to swap with Glen for a bit.”
I watched as he moved towards the girls at the bar before stalking outside. Hopefully the cool night air would calm everything back down. As soon as I pushed open the heavy metal door I felt better. The air wasn’t so suffocating.
“Great! You’re here. Can you stay for a minute so I can take a leak?” Glen asked.
Obviously, he was in major discomfort. He bounced from foot to foot and his face was contorted with pain. I thought about making him suffer, but tonight I just couldn’t be bothered. “Yeah, man. Go on.”
He didn’t hesitate before throwing open the doors and vanishing, leaving me standing on the street completely alone. It should have worried me, but it didn’t. Glancing up and down the deserted footpaths, the rain started to drip down on my head. Without thinking, I tilted my face up to the sky and let the cool drops land on my cheeks. Closing my eyes for a moment, I let go. Of everything. Of everyone. For the first time in a long time I felt free. It didn’t last. Just as everything was feeling calm, something crashed into my side. Or should I say someone.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” she squeaked, looking up at me with huge eyes.
My mouth opened of its own volition before I clamped it shut. I had no words. It was her. The ass I’d been fantasizing about and the face I couldn’t forget. Everything rolled into one. The moment the realization sank in, I knew I was fucked.
“Mia?”
“Uh, yeah. Hi Derek.”
My name rolling off her tongue sounded like heaven. I felt like a teenager again. A very horny, very dumb teenager.
Pushing the dirty, despicable thoughts from my mind, I had to remember I was at work. And she just wasn’t some piece of ass in a bar. “Are you okay?” I mumbled as I reached out to steady her.
I never intended for my hands to land on her hips, but I’d be lying if the moment they did it didn’t feel like home. I saw her shiver, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the icy wind or me. I knew which I hoped for but I wasn’t about to bet money on it.
I watched as she lowered her eyes and a sweet red blush crept up her neck and flamed her cheeks. She was so damn cute. “Yeah, it’s just these damn heels.”
“They look good on you,” I said way too quickly, surprising both of us.
She swallowed deeply before meeting my gaze. “Thanks, but they’re not me. I can’t walk in the bloody things.”
“Why wear them then?”
“Josie.”
She sighed heavily and brushed the hair from her forehead. The rain was getting heavier and she was getting wet. Without a word, I pulled her towards me and back under the small green awning, if you could call it that. It was more like a square of cloth that hung over the door, but it was the best I could do unless I sent her back inside, and I did not want to do that.
“Josie?”
“My sister. She’s…shall we say insistent?”
“Bossy?”
“Nazi bitch is closer.” Mia giggled and I was completely fucked. It sounded like heaven. When her tiny hands rested on mine I thought she was going to pull them from her hips, but instead she held them in place.
“What are you doing here?” I groaned breathlessly.
I didn’t know this girl. I’d met her once. In a gym. Where I’d begged pathetically for her help. Now she was here. Looking like sex on legs, and she had me imagining things I had no place imagining.
“My sister, she, well, she decid
ed I needed to stop being such a hermit and get out and live a little. Have fun. Her words, not mine.”
“And are you?”
“Am I what?”
“Having fun?”
She shuffled closer and looked up. I could feel her warm breath on my arm. It was pure heaven and it was the deepest, darkest pit of hell all in the same moment. I could have sworn I’d bust through my zipper any moment or I’d have permanent indentations in the one place you don’t want any. “I am now.”
Chapter 6
Mia
I couldn’t believe I’d just said that. That was so not me. Josie wouldn’t hold back. She’d definitely say stuff like that, but not me. I’d like to blame it on the alcohol, but the truth was the one vodka cranberry I’d had wasn’t enough for even a lightweight like me to be drunk. I saw the shock and indecision on his strong face, and without giving it another thought, I pressed up onto my toes and pressed my lips to his. It took a moment for Derek to figure it out what was going on to get with the program. The moment he did, he took the lead. The moment I did I knew I had no control here. As his tongue plundered my mouth, his hands crept around my waist and pressed me to him. I had no reason to doubt how much he wanted me. It was pressing against my stomach.
“I’m…sorry,” he panted as he pulled away, stuffing his hands deep in his pockets.
Embarrassment flooded me. I’d never been that forward with a guy before in my life and the last thing I needed was him regretting it. “Please, don’t be. I…I wanted you to.” Even the admission caught me off guard. I needed to get the hell out of here. I told Josie I was heading home the moment she started flirting with the bartender and the security guard at the same time. As hilarious as it was to watch her pit two grown men against each other as they vied for her affections, I just wanted to go home and climb into bed with a good book. Too much testosterone around made me exhausted. And Derek had it in spades. I needed to get away from him before I did or said anything stupid. Or anything else stupid.
“I shouldn’t have. I’m working and you’re…”
“Not what you’re after.”
“I didn’t say that.”
I spied the yellow cab idling at the curb. I had many lies on the tip of my tongue ready to roll out, but one look up in Derek’s confused eyes made me rethink everything. As much as I wanted to lie to him, for some reason I couldn’t. “You didn’t have to. I’m not what anyone is after, Derek.”
Before he had a chance to respond, I kissed his cheek and ducked into the backseat of the cab. I didn’t want to look back, but I couldn’t help it. As we sped down the street, I pressed my forehead against the cool glass and watched as Derek’s head dropped. Once he was out of sight, I fell back against the seat and brushed away the tears that had settled on my cheeks. I hadn’t even realized I was crying. I don’t know where they’d come from, all I knew was I didn’t want to deal with them. At least not tonight.
“Miss? We’re here.”
My eyes opened and I realized he was right. We were stopped on my parents’ driveway. All the lights in the house were still on. After throwing some cash at the driver, I stepped out on my wobbly heels and made my way down the drive. When my ankle twisted from under me I kicked them off and let them dangle from my fingers as I padded across the deck. I’d hoped everyone had gone to bed. That would have to mean luck was on my side, though.
“Mia? Is that you, sweetheart?” Mum called out.
It was times like this I hated that I didn’t live by myself. Those times when you wanted to slink in the door, slam it shut, then slide to the ground and just let it all out. All the tears. All the frustration. All the anger. It was a luxury I craved but didn’t have. As I shuffled despondently into the living room, I couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe it was time to try it.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” Dad asked as I stumbled into the room.
“I’m fine,” I lied effortlessly.
The lies came easier these days. When I’d first moved home again, I tried to tell the truth but I saw the pain it caused them. Every word I said broke my mother’s heart and made my dad furious all over again. They didn’t need to know I wasn’t fixed. They needed to believe that I was okay. I needed them to believe I was okay.
“You’re home early, it’s barely ten. Where’s Josephine?”
“Mum, it’s fine. Josie’s home. There just wasn’t much happening and I’ve got an early start tomorrow.”
“Okay then. Would you like a cup of tea?”
Inside my head, I was screaming. No, I wouldn’t like a cup of fucking tea. Tea doesn’t fix everything. Tea fixes fucking nothing. Instead I managed to politely decline Mum’s offer and head to my room. I wanted out of these clothes. They weren’t me. They were too tight, too revealing, and too…I don’t know, but they just weren’t right. Stepping into my bedroom, I shut the door, and peeled off my jeans and top before heading for the shower.
It felt like it took forever to scrub the tons of caked-on makeup from my face. I never wore the shit. I hated how it made me feel. It was suffocating. Every time I’d put it on, I’d spend the following week fighting the blackheads that popped up uninvited. Finally feeling more like myself, I slipped into my fluffy flannelette pyjamas and flopped into bed.
Flicking off the lamp beside me, I closed my eyes and willed sleep to come. Tonight was definitely not my night. The moment my heavy eyelids fluttered shut, Derek’s face appeared. Once it was there it wouldn’t go away. I hadn’t been expecting to see him again, at least not so soon. I’d never admit it to anyone, and especially not Josie, but the moment I met him at the gym something changed. Each time I thought of him, a warmth flooded me. When we spotted him with his arms folded across his impressive chest, I wanted to melt into a puddle on the floor. And the moment my lips touched his, I knew I was in trouble. Big fucking trouble.
Opening my eyes again, I realized sleep was hours away now. Now not only was I hopped up, but I was also incredibly horny. Not a good combination. And definitely not one I’d felt in a long time. It was something I’d never thought I’d feel again. I needed to stay away from him. Derek was dangerous.
Grabbing my e-reader, I opened up a trashy romance I’d downloaded and forced the thoughts of the man who made my panties damp away and focused on the billionaire in my book. It was going to be a long night.
I woke up early, too damn early, but I was wide awake. I’d started and finished a book before my eyes finally became too heavy to hold open a moment longer. Glancing at the clock, I saw it was just past five. It explained why the sun wasn’t yet peeking through my curtains. I didn’t have to be at the gym today thankfully, Julie was running my Saturday morning classes, but I couldn’t stay in bed, either. Climbing out from under the covers, I was surprised it was still cool. This time of year it was normally steaming at this hour. Quickly I got dressed, stuffed some cash in the top of my bra, and grabbed my sunglasses. If I was going to run along the beach, the glare would be painful as soon as the sun kissed the sky. Within minutes I crept out the front door without making a sound.
Two hours later I was stuffed. Absolutely buggered. I hadn’t meant to run that far or push that hard, it just kinda happened. Each step seemed to lead to the next, and before I knew it, I had sweat pouring off me. Dropping to the ground, I stretched my legs out in front of me and watched the waves as they crashed against the white sand. It was hypnotizing and calming all in the same moment. Around me the world continued, and I barely noticed until an errant soccer ball crashed into my back.
“Sorry,” an adorable little boy with freckles smiled toothlessly at me as he reached for the ball.
“It’s okay. Have fun.” I gave him the ball back before clambering to my feet and dusting the sand off my bum.
I stunk. Like I should not be around people while I smelt this bad, but coffee was calling me. Taking my time, I walked along the edge of the water until the path edged off, leading me into a busy street. It was just after eight and it was
crazy. Already people fought for car parks and the cafés were crowded, and the sidewalks were already full. The smell of coffee and bacon hung in the air, and my stomach grumbled loudly, reminding me that I should eat.
I passed the first couple before grabbing a spare table in the sun at a rock-n-roll themed café. From my spot, I could see the walls and even the ceiling lined with signed posters and even some random musical instrument memorabilia. A middle-aged man in a Beatles shirt came over and handed me the menu. At any other time, I would have been afraid of him, with his huge muscles, heavily tattooed arms, and long beard, but when his eyes met mine, all I could see there was kindness.
“Morning.” He smiled one of those rare smiles that only people who actually liked strangers had. I found it fascinating.
“Morning.”
“Can I get you something to drink to start with?”
Quickly I opened the menu and scanned the drinks. Coffee. I needed coffee. “I’ll just take a large skim flat white and a super green juice, please.”
“No troubles. Coming up.”
He left me to my own devices, and instead of scanning the menu for breakfast, I people watched. Everyone was so different. There were families scattered about, mums trying to force food down their children’s throats while the kids seemed more interested in mashing everything into the highchairs. Beside me there was an old couple who obviously had made it tradition to come here every Saturday for breakfast. He read the paper while she sat with her face tilted towards the sun. Thankfully it had warmed up now the sun had broken through and it was a beautiful morning.
When my coffee arrived, I ordered my breakfast and leaned back in my chair. My mind was running away with me. What the hell had I been thinking throwing myself at Derek like that? It wasn’t me. It wasn’t even remotely like something I’d do. Yet I’d done it. My big breakfast arrived and I dived in, greedily stuffing my face. I managed to get down about a third before I thought I’d burst. After downing the last of my juice, I dropped some cash on the table and stepped back out onto the street. It was time to head home.
Running Away (Finding Your Place Book 2) Page 4
