by Jillian Hart
It had been the best day so far. Happiness filled her as she reached into her shorts pocket and pulled out her rental car keys. "I'm going to miss you."
"Likewise." He opened the car door for her and held it.
She could not stop from turning to him, inexorably and as naturally as if she'd been put on this earth to do so.
So much should be on her mind, she had her whole life waiting for her, but it was Cord who held every scrap of her attention, Cord whose chuckle rumbled like music in her soul.
"One last selfie?" She held up her phone. "It will drive your brother crazy."
"Then do it." He tipped his hat back so the sunlight brushed his face. She eased close, clicked a picture but she felt held in place by the affection in his eyes, as if time had stopped and eternity existed all in this moment.
Cord brushed a light kiss to her forehead. So sweet her heart rolled over. "Maybe we'd all like to keep you."
"Maybe I'd like to keep you and your family, too." Joy glowed inside her with a contented, incandescent light, one that felt as if it could burn forever.
But Cord stepped away, and that feeling vanished. His choice was made.
So was hers.
"Are you excited about your trip tomorrow?" he asked.
"Majorly. I don't exactly like to travel, but what's waiting for me will be a whole lot of fun. I can't wait to catch up with some really important people."
"Take selfies and post them. That way I can see them. Maybe I'd like that."
"Me too. I don't know why, but I feel as if I've known you all my life."
"Me too." Emotion lumped in his throat, a mixture of gratitude and loss and love. Gratitude that she gazed up at him affectionately. Loss because nothing could change what stood between them. Love because it was true.
She gazed up at him through her lashes, her honest eyes trapping him like a force field and he could not look away. "Whatever happens, I want to keep good track of you."
"I won't argue with that," he agreed, spotting the tilt of her smile and the mischievous glitter in those dark depths. "I'll learn to take selfies."
"Will wonders never cease?" She placed her hand on his chest.
"I'll do it, if you do. I want to see more of you on my phone." With her here, the world looked radiant, the sunlight pure gold, the ranch picture book perfect.
He kissed the top of her head, overwhelmed with an enormous love for her that just kept expanding. No words were good enough to describe the devotion he felt to her. "You drive safe, give me a text or two in the morning when you're waiting for that early morning flight. I'm always up with the animals."
"Count on it." She sounded certain. "I've had the best day with you."
"Me too." In the end, all he wanted was her happiness. That's it. That's all. Nothing on this earth would ever be more important than her.
Just concentrate on the here and now, he thought. Only this moment with her mattered. All he could do was to give her his heart. What she chose to do with it was up to her. "I love you, Emily."
"I love you." The power of it shimmered like dreams as she reached up and he leaned down.
Her kiss was a promise of what should have been, so sweet and tender. When she broke away, the dazzle of honest love remained in her eyes, polishing her, making her more beautiful than ever.
Tears stood in her eyes. There was nothing left to say. When he'd said they could be friends, that they should be, he'd meant it.
But it was impossible. Maybe always had been. He held the door for her while she folded her willowy, beautiful self into the driver's seat, carefully setting the little wildflowers onto the passenger seat beside her.
All ready to go, she started the engine, the warning signal clicked, and he shut the door for her.
The window zipped down. "Thank you for everything."
"My pleasure, pretty lady." He could have said a thousand things, but he chose silence. Nothing else could say what was in his heart better than the quiet regard he held like a secret for the woman he loved, truly loved.
She gave him a finger wave, backed away, and turned her car toward the county road. She followed the paved driveway out of his sight.
Taking his heart with her.
* * *
"You're alone?" Alex strolled through the stable door with a fistful of mail. "Where's the city girl?"
"Heading back to her hotel. Going back to the city."
"Will she be back?"
"No."
"Oh, well, I didn't like her or anything." Alex rolled his eyes, not quite ready to concede that he was wrong about her, but he was softening.
A little too late, but that was better than nothing. Cord looked up from his desk. His window looked out on the paddock and a sweet view of grazing horses.
"I'm heading over to my place." Alex dropped the collection of envelopes and a farming magazine on the desk's edge. "I was getting my mail, so I thought I'd bring yours. If she's gone, you can do your own work."
"I'll be over to help you with your horse stable roof. Did you want to start later today?"
"We'd better. Come prepared for hard work, little bro."
"Will do." Cord stood up and stepped over a snoozing Kate. "I was just about to start loading the feed truck."
"Are you doing okay?" Alex leaned against the door frame, hesitating when he would normally be on his way out. "She's got your hopes up. I know she did."
"Her hopes were up, too."
"I noticed." Alex crossed his arms over his chest, concern flickering across his face. "I was surprised to like her so much. At the barbecue last night, we hardly noticed her."
"We are a rowdy and loud bunch."
Alex laughed. "But we all like her. It's too bad she isn't looking for us."
"I felt that, too." He didn't dare point out the obvious. He cleared his throat. "She's got lots of options. I'm the worst one."
"Yeah, you are," Alex chose humor, too. It was easier to cover up feelings sometimes, especially when there was no real solution. "She's smart to jet off for bigger places. I would, but Dad would hobble me like a roped calf."
"We let the roped calf go after we vaccinate him. But you, well, there is no solution for you."
"It's a proven fact." Alex winked.
He grinned back.
"Remember when you took off for California and college? We didn't miss you a bit."
"I was too cool to miss you. I mean, look at me."
"No one wants to do that. And to use you and cool in the same sentence ought to be a crime."
"Someone should pass a law."
"I can talk to our congressman."
Cord shook his head. "When you're not here, I don't miss you at all."
"That's what everyone says about me. I can't figure out why."
"I wonder."
While they laughed together, Michael came over and shook his head. "I'm the foreman around here. You two get to work."
So Alex headed off to get his roof prepped. Cord shut Kate safely in his office and wandered down the main aisle, where empty box stalls were pristine and fresh, waiting for the horses to come in around suppertime.
His phone tinged. He hauled it out and nearly missed a step. He wasn't expecting a text from Emily so soon.
Check out our selfie, would you? I got tons of likes and a friend request from your grandparents.
Don't be friends with them, he typed. Never like them.
Too late!
He laughed, when he felt lonelier than ever. Sad settled around him, lonely in a way it had never been before. He missed her. She'd changed him. She'd changed everything. She'd claimed his heart and nothing could be the same.
Not one thing.
He leaned against the door of the truck and checked out the post on her social media wall. Sure enough, there they were, grinning with the car door behind them, the blue sky above, oh so heavenly, and their happy faces.
Man, he looked like a dork, but she was a beauty. Stunning, bright, caring eyes, kind
and dazzling smile, so kind at heart that it showed like a soft glow. And so did his deep abiding affection for her, gazing down at her instead of the camera, revealing his heart.
Maybe she hadn't noticed. It sounded as if she hadn't a clue, was having too much fun with her friends and family liking her stopover here. His family had liked her page, everyone except Alex. He did not participate in social media. He said he didn't like to be social, he was against the whole idea.
Cord chuckled, oh, he loved his big brother. And, boy, did his heart ache. He started typing.
Great post, great pic of you, not me, and glad my grandmother posted on your page. Beware, she is a wild woman. She has been known to be a serious book reader and she took up knitting. He hit send and pocketed his phone.
That was the right way to do it, he thought. Just keep everything light, glancing along the surface. Don't even hint at the sorrow beneath.
The emptiness echoed around him as he hefted a bag of feed onto the back of the truck. He loaded up, enough to cover Alex's cattle, too.
Ting, went his phone. His heart raced, he tossed down the final bag of grain and hauled out his phone, already smiling.
It was from his grandmother, not Emily.
Nice lady, I like her. Too bad it's not serious. Come to a family supper tomorrow. I'm making spaghetti.
Sounds good. Do you need me to do anything for you?
Her text came immediately. No, Alex already took care of it. See you at five.
He pocketed his phone. Took it back out. Then pocketed it again. No, he wasn't going to be someone who couldn't let her go. She needed to. He could not ask her to leave her family for him.
He felt the tug that his family made on his heart. He hopped into the truck, inserted the key and the engine rolled over with a rumble. He put it in gear and eased out the double doors and into the bright sunshine.
He had a perfect view of the house on the rise above, that gentle slope that made him smile. Sunlight glinted off windows and highlighted the maples and grass of the backyard.
I could put a swing set there. The thought took root and grew on its own power, something he hadn't let himself dream of before.
I could build a sandbox next to the patio and a tree house in that maple. Perfect place for a kid to play. He hauled a pair of sunglasses out of the console and popped them on. He let out a sigh, a wistful sound reverberating in the emptiness of the truck cab.
His heart kept building dreams that could not come true. He didn't have a prayer of a chance.
He rolled down the window and let the breeze zip through.
His phone rang. He thumbed it out of his pocket, slowing as he took the private gravel road on his own land, heading out to the east fields. He hit speaker, so he could still drive two handed. "Hello, Mom?"
Of course, it wasn't Emily.
"I wanted to remind you that we have that church thing tomorrow. It's called a wedding." Mom sounded in a good mood. "I got two gifts and wrapped them, one from you and one from Alex. I was going to have Renee do it for you, but I had time."
"Thanks, Mom." He hooked a left when the road forked and braked to a stop in front of a metal gate. He pulled the handbrake and popped open the door, taking his phone with him. "I'm shocked. You haven't mentioned Emily. I figured she would be the first topic of conversation."
"Anyone can see she's fantastic."
"I know, too good for the likes of me." He lifted the latch and walked the gate all the way open, his boots rustling in the green grass.
"I didn't get much of a chance to talk with her. She was a quiet girl, but I did friend her on Facebook."
"Good, you can keep in touch with her."
"What a wonderful thing. Maybe you could keep in touch with her, too. Maybe she won't always want to have a big power career."
"I think she's too in love with her family to leave them."
"Maybe that's something you should think about. How the love you're supposed to feel for your own spouse and family ought to be bigger than that. Maybe things can change. For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven."
Emily loving ranch life wasn't the real issue. Not at all. Time could not change that. He paced back to his truck. "I've heard that before somewhere."
"Not funny, Cord. Honestly, what am I going to do with you?Did your grandmother invite you to supper? She's making spaghetti. I'm bringing my pasta salad."
"I'll have Renee whip something up to bring. Maybe garlic bread."
"Good idea. You make sure to bring Alex. You tell him he has to do it, or we will disown him."
"That would only encourage him." Cord hopped behind the wheel and put the truck in gear. "I'll be there. Don't worry. And thanks for thinking of the gifts from us."
"And call Emily, dear. Honestly, talk, keep in touch. Do it for me, would you?"
"Sure." He rolled his eyes and disconnected. His mother was on a mission to marry him off, and it had never gone very well, even when there was a candidate at the supper table.
With his heart hurting like he'd taken a lethal punch, he kept driving.
14
The hustle and bustle of the busy little airport echoed all around her. She slipped a tip into the jar and stepped away from the coffee bar with her single shot tall mocha with hazelnut flavoring and whipped cream.
She followed the signs back to her gate, with her carry-on over her shoulder and her handbag over one arm.
The coffee should soothe her, but all it did was burn the tip of her tongue just a little.
She shook her head, there was no relief for what ailed her, for the heartbreaking pain of missing her family as she chose a seat facing the bank of windows that looked out over the airport. The plane was at the gate and offloading a few last straggling passengers.
Finally, she'd be in the air and one step closer to going home. The long stretch of the trip weighed heavy on her shoulders. She wanted to be with her folks, to laugh with her sister, to bop over for dinner. Normally, she started missing home halfway through a trip, not before she even got there.
Her phone binged. A text from Julie. I'm here in Atlanta by myself. Are you about ready for lift off? I can't wait!
Can't wait to see you either. Glad you're there safe. Behave yourself until we get there to police you. Haha! She hit send. Whoop, went her phone and she took a sip of coffee.
Bing! She cut her gaze to the screen. Not Julie's answer but a text from her mom stared up at her.
Miss you, sweetie. Fly safe, and you have a fun time. You work too hard. Come back to me happy and safe. Say hi to Caitlin and Julie for me. Such nice friends to you.
Warmth filled her. Love brimmed over. She set down her cup and tapped back a reply. Love you, Mom, and miss you. I have many blessings in good friends, old and new (she did not let herself think of Cord) and especially in you. You have a fun day shopping with Aunt Jeanne. She added a heart icon before hitting send.
"Flight to Chicago now boarding," the desk agent said over the intercom.
Since she was in the first row, Emily grabbed her coffee, tucked her phone in her handbag, and with her carry-on strap securely over her shoulder, went to get in line.
Oh, she hurt. She missed home with a hard, physical pain. She wanted to turn around and make a reservation back to Seattle, it was just a short hop and she'd be home, where her mom would hug her, where her sister would scold her for not opening up to her sooner, where she longed to be.
But her heart ached for another reason, too. The man she left behind here had made a forever impact on her. Maybe that's why she felt tears burn behind her eyes as she handed over her ticket to be scanned.
Bing, went her phone. She walked down the runway, into the plane and smiled at the flight attendant welcoming passengers. She stowed her carry-on under her window seat, eased into the comfortable chair and set her coffee on the arm tray.
Longing filled her, but the text she read was not from him. Cord had not texted her. But Caitlin had. Congrat
s on the new job! Yay!
The call had come late yesterday afternoon just after she'd gotten back to her hotel room. Good news made her smile, but it didn't chase away the longing for home and for Cord from her heart.
Was this a sign from above? She'd prayed for guidance last night, but the only path she had for her future was this great job, so she was going to accept it. As for the blessing of her family, it was one she treasured. They would always be her season, and time, and everything.
And now it felt that he could have been.
* * *
Just send it, Cord told himself. He reread what he'd written to Emily. Thinking of you today flying in that great big blue sky. Be safe and hope you have a great work trip and visiting with friends.
There, that sounded normal and not like a man who wanted to hunt her down and bring her back to marry him. He shook his head. Did he have it bad for her, or what? He hit send, his phone went swoosh, and he took a bite of his sandwich.
Kate gave a little whine, watching him from her sunny spot in front of the windows. He appreciated the dog's sympathy.
"Hey, what are you doing sitting there?" Renee bustled in from driving food out to the crew. "You're supposed to be in the shower and out of here."
"I stole some food out of the fridge. I starve to death at weddings. I can't make it until the reception."
"A likely excuse. Get upstairs, go on with you. I just called Alex to get him moving. Honestly, it's a wedding. I'm coming, too. What's too bad is that Emily couldn't stay one more day."
"She has a big work convention thing."
"I know. It's too bad you didn't find a way to make her stay."
"Like what?"
"An engagement ring might do it."
"Well, I don't think she would say yes. Pretty sure she wouldn't. Besides, love doesn't last, love lets you down. Love is a perilous road. I am just trying to run a ranch here and take care of my livestock."
"I am not buying any of that, and I know you don't either." With a wink, Renee stole the plate from him, forcing him to push the last bite into his mouth and get on his feet.
