“There is no Mistress of Souls, Maclin. That is the other reason that I wanted to speak to you. The people need someone that they can trust, someone who they feel represents them. You are the first person that I thought of.”
Maclin smiled. “Then you would be making a mistake. There has never been a Master of Souls, only the Mistress.”
“So Tolman has told me.”
“Then he must also have told you that none would support such a change. Doing so would only invite questions, and are you willing to answer those questions?”
“My wife was attacked on top of the tower because of a shaping I suspect Marin responsible for creating. Had I not managed to shift the shaping to myself, I don’t know that she would have survived. As it was, something powerful was nearly released, or might have been released.” He hoped the attack on Asgar was not related to what had happened to him on the tower, but he had a feeling that it was and that not only had he not truly defeated whatever Marin had set to unleash, he might have given it entrance into the world. “That is what must be discussed, at least within the council of Par. And I would have you serve in that role.”
Maclin stared at his hands a moment, slowly shaking his hands as he drew in soft breaths. “I… I will think on it, Maelen. That is all that I can promise.”
He stood and stopped at the door. “You are not at all what I expected when you returned to Par.”
Tan decided to take the comment as a compliment. “If you think of anything that might help me understand the Utu Tonah, please tell me.”
“Of course, Maelen.”
He closed the door behind him, leaving Tan sitting, wondering if he would ever find the answers that he needed, and whether it even mattered.
19
ALWAYS GROWING
The draasin nibbling on his toe woke him. Tan’s head rested on the desk, the two journals spread in front of him. The longer that he studied them, the more he suspected there had to be additional volumes. The first that he’d found detailed some of the earliest days in Par, but not the earliest days. And the other volume was a document of more recent events. There was nothing in between, and nothing prior to the first.
He looked down at the draasin and pushed her with his foot. Where do you think he hid the others?
I’m hungry.
I’ll get you food, but where do you think he might have hidden the others?
Ask the other. There is more that he knows but does not share.
The other? Maclin?
Not him. The other.
Tan frowned, pulling the draasin so that she sat on his lap. As he did, he realized that her wings truly did seem to be shrinking, as if a lack of food or whatever changes occurred to her not only stunted her growth but were causing real physical change. Even her tail had changed, the spikes on it receding.
Does the change hurt? His concerns could wait. He needed to know if the draasin—or whatever she had become—suffered.
She licked his hand as he tried to rest it on her back, rubbing along the soft spikes. They were smaller than they had been, though Tan knew that could be only his imagination. He grinned as she licked him, and he wiped his hand on his pants.
Does it hurt when you grow?
Tan laughed. When I grow? You’re not growing, you’re changing.
They are much the same, Maelen. You cannot grow without change.
He patted her on her back. Then it doesn’t hurt.
No more than any change. She unfurled her wings and flapped them for effect.
A part of Tan felt sadness watching her attempt to fly. If her wings continued to shrink, she would never take to the air and never hunt as the draasin should.
Do not pity me. This form is what the Mother asks of me.
Tan met her eyes, and she stared back at him with something like understanding and peace. It took a moment for Tan to realize that she pressed spirit on him, and he didn’t fight it as she did. They shared a connection in that way.
Which other did you mean?
The other. The one you have helped.
Tan wished for a connection like he had with Asboel, where he could share images so that he would know who she meant. It would make understanding easier.
With the thought, the draasin pressed another shaping onto him. This time, it came with a memory, one of his, and he realized who she meant.
Tolman?
She licked his hand.
Why would Tolman hide things about the Utu Tonah from him? Tan had attempted nothing more than to work with Tolman, and had placed him in a position of authority because of it, but if there were things that he kept to himself, he might need to rethink his plan.
Unless there was another reason that Tolman hid from him.
Tan stood and carried the draasin with him as he left the estate and shaped himself to the tower. Inside, he hurried through the halls, stopping along each floor as he went. There were the students, but Tan found no signs of the earth shaper.
Reaching the top level and the wide, open room that had once housed the Utu Tonah when he ruled, he found it empty as well.
Where is he?
The draasin licked his hand. You have forgotten how to search for another so soon?
He frowned and stepped out to the top of the tower. From there, he glanced at the ruins of the rune that had nearly harmed both he and Amia, and then focused into the city, using spirit and earth together as he did, reaching out with a powerful sensing.
You have not forgotten.
Tan sniffed. I have not forgotten.
The draasin licked his neck.
In the city, he found Tolman. Tan should have known where to find him, but had thought that he would have been in the tower. Instead, he was with his wife, standing by her side, with another. Likely Garza, though Tan couldn’t tell that from here.
With a shaping of wind, he lowered himself to the ground outside the small home where Reyelle rested. Tan knocked, deciding it was best not to come raging into the room, and waited.
When the door opened, redness ringed Tolman’s eyes.
“What happened?”
He shook his head. “Maelen. I… I’m sorry I was not with the students today. I couldn’t leave… not when she’s like this.”
“What happened?” Tan asked again.
“Her condition has worsened. We don’t know why.” Tolman stepped to the side, letting Tan into the room. “She barely breathes. Garza does all that she can, but…”
Tan stopped in front of the bed where Reyelle rested. Garza glanced over at him, clenching her jaw.
“You could have left her,” she said softly. Tolman stood on the other side of Tan and wouldn’t be able to hear. “This is what you did.”
“I only tried to help.”
“Help? All that I saw was you trying to bind her with spirit. She had been stable for so long before you came. And now… now I am barely able to hold her here.”
There was a certain passion to her words that made Tan wonder just why Garza would care so much. She was a water shaper and a healer, but that didn’t explain the anger that she expressed.
Layering a faint spirit sensing over Garza, Tan reached into her mind. Doing this felt less of a violation than it once had, and when the draasin licked his neck again, he decided that he at least had her support, whatever that meant. With spirit, he traced through Garza’s emotions, using the lightest touch that he could manage. After all the time spent working with Amia and observing her training with the First Mother, he had a very light touch with spirit.
Through the connection, he detected a source for her irritation, one that was tied to a relationship. Garza seemed to recognize that he was there and started to shield her mind, but not before Tan recognized the connection.
“Sisters,” he said, looking from Garza to Reyelle. They looked nothing alike.
“You could have asked,” she said.
“Would you have said anything?”
Garza looked down at Reyelle. “I only wanted
to protect her. That’s all that I’ve ever wanted.”
Tan hadn’t remained in Garza’s mind long enough to gauge much more of the connection. Doing so would have required him to push more aggressively and be more present in her mind, which he wasn’t willing to do. He had found what he needed and did not need to push any more than that.
“That’s why you’re so angry. You haven’t been able to save her.”
“And after what you did to her, I cannot.”
“Garza,” Tan said, touching her arm, “I did nothing more than what I just did to you. Reaching into her with spirit sensing would not have changed the illness. All I needed was to know the name of her bonded. That’s the only way that I can help her.”
“She would have protected that. Taking the name of her bond would have pained her.”
Tan frowned. It was possible that even weakened, she had managed to protect her mind so that she wouldn’t reveal the name of her bonded, much as it was possible that he had pushed harder than needed to even enter her mind. And if that were the case, then maybe Tan had been the reason that something changed.
The draasin crawled along his shoulders and jumped, landing atop Reyelle. She began licking at the woman’s face, moving her rough tongue across each cheek and then over her forehead.
Reyelle sucked in a breath of air.
Garza gasped. “What is that… thing… doing to her?”
Tolman clapped his hands together and reached for the draasin, but she looked up at him and hissed. He stepped back and made a face.
What are you doing?
What you should have done, Maelen.
Garza tried to push past Tan and started shaping water, but the draasin looked over at her. A shaping built, one that had strength and carried with it barely more than the hint of spirit. Garza staggered away, her eyes going wide, nodding slowly.
What should I have done?
She is harmed.
I know. Separated from her bonded. She suffers because of that.
That is not the only harm.
Tan frowned and shaped spirit, mixing with it water and letting this work through Reyelle. As before, there was a resistance, but it was more solid than before, as if it had taken a deeper hold.
This was the reason that her health failed, not what Tan had done to her, and… and not because of the separation of the bond.
What is it?
You will have to help her, Maelen. There is only so much that I can yet do.
How much time does she have?
She is failing.
I see that.
I am not certain that you do.
Tan pulled on more shaping strength, drawing from the elementals around him to bolster his strength. Through the elementals, he could draw even more than he could alone, and they helped prevent him from weakening as he shaped. Normally, he had Amia to help with the connection to spirit, and without her, it was the one connection that he lacked, leaving him feeling helpless.
Tolman watched Tan and eyed the draasin, helplessness on his face.
Tan pushed.
The shaping forced into the resistance he detected, pressing through it, but it moved slowly, as if oozing away from him. Reyelle’s mind was there, but almost sealed apart from him. For a moment, he wondered if this were something that Marin had done. Had she discovered that he had come before and intended to help heal her? This was not the attack of spirit. This… this was something else.
Yet familiar.
Tan recognized the resistance as the same as when he’d helped Amia. Unlike with Amia, there was no bond that had formed, and he didn’t share the connection with her to help her. He wouldn’t be able to assume the bond like he had with Amia, even if he wanted to.
Another can strengthen her, the draasin said.
Her bonded. I have tried to reach for her bonded, but failed.
You have tried speaking to the wind, but not to the bond.
They are the same.
Maelen, you continue to see limits that do not exist. You will fail all of us if you continue.
Limits. The draasin believed there was a wind bond, much like there was with fire, and that if he could reach that, he might be able to reach Yawla. But even Zephra, the greatest wind shaper that Tan knew, and twice bonded to ara, did not know of a wind bond. If she didn’t know of it, then how could such a thing be real?
Do you think that you serve the Mother the same as Zephra?
I think that we serve the elementals the same.
That is not the question, Maelen.
Tan strained for wyln, reaching again for the wind while continuing to press through the resistance around Reyelle’s mind. As had as he pushed, he couldn’t squeeze past this thing that attacked her, for it was an attack.
A gust of wind fluttered through an open window, swirling around him, but then fell still. The wind—at least, wyln—would not answer.
That is not how you will reach the bond.
Tan didn’t know how he could reach a wind bond, if it existed. He couldn’t even reach his own bonded elemental anymore. And wasn’t that how he had first learned to reach the fire bond? Hadn’t he reached through Asboel?
But… he hadn’t. The first time that he’d learned to reach the fire bond had come when Asgar lay dying. Then, he had learned to reach inside himself, to use his own connection to fire to reach the bond. As Asboel had said, he had always been a part of the fire bond; he had only learned to reach it when striving to save Asgar.
Now he would need to reach another bond, if it existed, and again because he wanted to save someone.
Tan shifted his focus over to wind. Normally, he drew wind from a combination of elemental power as well as what he managed to shape from within, but he suspected that he would need his own shaping ability to reach the wind bond. Borrowing from Honl, even if he could reach him, would not grant him that connection.
Focusing inward, he listened for the wind. His mother had taught him some of the earliest lessons on reaching it, on focusing on his breathing and the way that it swirled around him. He needed this connection to help him reach for it.
At first, he sensed nothing more than his ability to shape, but then he pushed deeper, straining as he had when he first learned to shape spirit. As he did, he noted something like a soft breath that gusted as soon as he reached for it. It recognized him, and as he touched upon it, questing through it as he’d learned to do with spirit that pooled within him, he felt a recognition.
Much like with fire, there was a bond to wind. That was how he shaped, pulling through that bond, drawing from each breath that he possessed and joining with all of the wind.
Tan used that steady sense deep within him and listened. There was something so very much like the earth sensing that his father had long ago taught him. Wind circled all around, and he let himself be drawn to it.
He could sense it swirling around him, the wind spiraling around Reyelle in ways that he had not noticed before, something translucent and clear, but definitely real, as if wyln intended to save her, cradling her as well as the elemental could. Each breath he breathed, and Tolman and Garza, had a similar translucent swirling, much like he had once seen when he first learned of Honl.
Beyond the elementals and the breaths coming from everyone around Reyelle, there was wind everywhere around him, even if it didn’t swirl and move. At first it was a vague sense, but the more that he focused, the more that he recognized touches of elemental power, elementals different than even wyln, or ara, or ashi. Had he more time and less urgency, Tan suspected that he could reach for each of the elementals, perhaps finally speak to them as he did to the others.
And he understood. All of wind was connected. He saw how his breath breathed out while Garza breathed in, each interconnected. The wind that touched him also touched Reyelle, and Tolman, and even the hatchling. This was the connection of wind. This was the bond.
Tan pressed through this.
Awareness of wind whipped through him. He touched
it upon wyln as it swirled around Reyelle, and understanding of the elemental surged in his mind. Wind was everywhere. Wind was life. And, Tan knew, there was no doubting that the wind bond existed.
Finally, you see the truth, the draasin said.
Tan breathed out. Connected as he was, he could see the swirling from each breath. He could see the individual elementals that made up the wind as they spiraled around Reyelle.
But one in particular most strongly.
This elemental stayed closest. Others helped, forcing their way into Reyelle’s mouth, as if aiding her as she breathed, but one of the elementals remained the most attuned to her.
Yawla, Tan sighed to her.
He knew her name, and through the wind bond, he knew her. There was no mistaking that this wyln elemental was she. And he thought that the separated bond had drawn the elemental away, tearing the connection so that the elemental would not know how to find Reyelle, but she had been with her this entire time.
Why have you remained apart?
The elemental spun, drifting away from Reyelle, before allowing herself to be drawn back. Not apart. Never apart.
She needs you.
She has always needed me, Maelen.
Tan sighed again as the elemental recognized him. The bond. We must restore the bond.
The elemental moved with more agitation. The bond is formed by both, Maelen. She cannot solidify the bond.
Somehow, in order to help Reyelle, Tan would have to help her recognize the wind elemental? How was he supposed to do that?
Reyelle gasped again.
You have little time left, Maelen, the draasin said.
Tan pulled on the connection to each of the elementals that he could, drawing most strongly from the wind, and added a little more of fire, pulling from saa and the strength present in Par, and pressed this combined connection into spirit and onto Reyelle.
At first, he didn’t think that anything would change. There was the resistance that he’d detected before, and the more that Tan pushed, the greater the resistance became. He used the connection to the elementals, particularly the familiarity that came from the connection to Yawla, and sent this into Reyelle.
Broken of Fire (The Cloud Warrior Saga Book 9) Page 16
