She woke as they rolled to a stop just before the service station. “Oh my gosh! I slept the whole way back!”
He nodded. “You must have had a long week. I didn’t want to wake you.”
She pointed to the station. “Well, pull in. We haven’t bought trees yet. They’re still open.”
It must be the doctor in her, he thought, the way she could go from being asleep to fully alert in such a short amount of time. He was the same way, had been that way since he started soldiering. You slept during sleep time, and when it was time to get up, you hit the ground running. Old habits were hard to break.
The lot was just about to close up for the night, but they each managed to get a tree and strapped them onto the top of Dave’s SUV with the help of the lot owner. It was dark by the time they left town limits and headed toward her cottage. When he turned in, his headlights swept across the front yard. With no lights on, inside or out, the place felt lonely.
“I didn’t think we’d be gone so long,” she explained. “I’ll go turn on some lights and then we can get the tree down.”
She took Daniel inside, along with the first of her bags, and Dave followed with the rest of the decorations. He left her settling the baby in a playpen, then went to work on the straps holding the trees in place, making sure to release hers but leaving his securely fastened. The outside lights came on, casting a circle of light around her front step, and he saw a glow come from the front windows as she turned on a few lamps. By the time she managed to get outside again, he had the tree standing up and was waiting for instructions on where to put it.
“Wow, that was fast.” Charlie grabbed the final bag and slammed the tailgate. “Bring it in. I’ll get the stand ready.”
“You know where you want it?”
“Of course.” She shrugged. “I made room in the living room. I took so long because I was settling Daniel in the bedroom. I’m not sure how long he’s going to hold out. It’s been a long day and he’s been really good. It can’t last forever.”
He followed her inside, got her to hold the tree as he took off his boots, then carried it through to the living room. She hustled ahead of him carrying the tree stand, and then put it down before shrugging out of her coat. As he waited, she deftly set it up and loosened the bolts that would hold the tree in place. “Okay,” she said, looking up as she stood on her knees. “Bring that sucker over and we’ll get it in place.”
He lifted, she guided, and within seconds the trunk slid into the hole. “Keep it straight!” Charlie called out, her voice muffled from beneath the branches. She was lying on her stomach now, reaching in under the tree to tighten all the wing nuts. “Okay! Let it go!”
He cautiously let go of the top of the tree and it stayed steady. Charlie scooted backward on her belly and then popped up, her shirt mussed and spruce needles decorating her hair. “So? What do you think?” she asked.
“Perfect. Just the right size.”
“I think so too.” Her eyes dancing, she disappeared into another room and came back with a box. She plunked it on the sofa and started rooting around. “Aha. Here it is.” She withdrew her own tree skirt, a cute felt thing with sewn-on reindeer faces and antlers that were puffed out from the base fabric.
She was back down on her stomach again, sliding forward until she could put the skirt around the base. When she appeared again, he noticed a smudge of dust down the side of her breast.
He had to get out of here. The last time he spent any time in her living room they’d started kissing. It was about to go that way again if he wasn’t careful. He thought spending the day together would be easy and fun. And it had been. A little too easy and a little too fun. Silence settled around them, heavy with potential. Waiting. Waiting for one of them to make a first move. Or not.
“Well,” Dave said, “I should be going. I have to unload my tree and get my stuff inside.”
“Oh, right. Of course.” His words seemed to have broken the spell and Charlie smiled at him. “It turned out to be a longer day than we planned, but a fun one. I think I have my Christmas shopping all done!”
Her voice was a little too bright: was she disappointed, or relieved?
“I got a start on mine, for sure,” he admitted. He still hadn’t purchased anything for his parents, or his siblings and nieces and nephews.
She walked him to the door, their steps meandering a little as he waited for an invitation. Which was stupid since he’d been the one to suggest leaving. It was for the best, right? And yet the day had been so nice, so fun and easy, that he was disappointed it was over. All that waited at home was whatever he could throw together for a meal and a hockey game on TV.
“Thanks for everything,” Charlie said quietly as they reached the tiny foyer. “It was a really great date.”
“Even though our plans changed?”
She smiled up at him. “I think, especially because our plans changed,” she answered.
“Are you going to decorate your tree tonight?” Dave asked, his hand on the doorknob, putting off leaving for just a few moments longer.
“I don’t think so. I’m too tired. Besides, it’ll give me something to do tomorrow.”
Right. Normally the idea of a quiet Sunday afternoon was alluring, but the idea of putting his tree up alone seemed rather depressing. And yet the ebullient Charlie seemed excited about the prospect.
“Sure.” He knew it was a lackluster reply. He really should go. But then there was the fact that this marked the official end of their date and he had to decide how exactly he wanted to leave things. With a simple good night? A hug?
A kiss?
She was standing close enough he only had to reach out a little to put his arm along her back and pull her close. She put up her hands and they stopped her progress into his arms, pressed against his chest as her chin tilted up …
There was no way he could not kiss that pert little mouth. He didn’t want to come on too strong so he tempered the heat that flared in him simply from holding her close, and took his time, sweetly exploring her lips as he held her body against his.
He let it end after a single kiss. He’d promised a date and nothing more, and he tried to keep his promises. Which was why he rarely made them.
“Thank you for the wonderful day,” he murmured, his voice husky in the silence of the foyer. “I hope we can do it again, Charlie.”
He nearly reconsidered as she ran her tongue over her lower lip, and he wondered if she could taste him there. “I hope so too, Dave. I had a good time.”
He was moving in for a second kiss when the baby started crying. They both froze in mid-move, and he was gratified to hear Charlie sigh. Did that mean she was as disappointed as he was?
“I’d better go,” she said quietly, stepping away. “Somebody’s not very happy.”
He got out of there while he still could, with the picture of her dark eyes and soft, kissable lips still in his mind. The whole drive home he wasn’t sure if he was happy for the first time in months or if he’d just made a huge mistake and if Daniel hadn’t just done him a huge favor. Despite Dave’s best intentions, he was falling for her.
* * *
Charlie stared at her decorated tree and frowned. The lights were fine, the garland looped perfectly, the ornaments sparkling in the sun that filtered through the windows. She should be happy with it, but she wasn’t.
She couldn’t stop thinking about Dave, the way he’d looked at her yesterday, how he’d kissed her good night, all soft and swoony. He was over at his place now, with his own tree and brand-new decorations. Was he feeling as lonely as she was?
It was the first Christmas she didn’t have any plans of any sort. Up until this morning she thought she was okay with it. But now, staring at the tree, she knew she wasn’t. There would be a present from her parents and one from Lizzie. She’d open them all by herself. And then she’d heat up a takeout turkey dinner from Breezes.
Tears stung her eyes.
“Enough of feeling sor
ry for yourself!” She said the words out loud and reminded herself that she was cozy and comfortable in a snug little cottage while there were others out there far worse off. She looked over at Daniel, on his back on a blanket, waving his little arms and legs and smiled. Well, maybe she wasn’t completely alone. She was falling for this little baby head over heels, and she had to remind herself that this was only a temporary situation. She couldn’t let herself get too attached … and yet she couldn’t seem to help it either.
She knelt on the blanket and played with the tiny fingers and toes, cooing to him in nonsensical syllables. He was still too little to laugh, and she kept looking for a smile. It wouldn’t be long. Days, maybe a week or two, and he’d show her that first smile. She’d looked it up …
Definitely getting too attached, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be sorry.
It was a beautiful afternoon, so after they’d both had lunch she decided they’d take a walk. The sun was out, and it made the snow and trees glitter like a fairyland. There was no self-delusion at work. As she pulled on her heavy boots and retrieved a hat and scarf from the tiny entry closet, she knew she was heading toward Dave, probably with an idea of giving him a hand with his tree if he hadn’t finished it already.
The road to her cottage and on to Fiddler’s Rock was a side road that ran mostly parallel to the main highway and hugged the shoreline of the cove. As such, most of the traffic was local traffic, and Charlie only met maybe a dozen cars on the half-hour walk to Dave’s place, the stroller wheels making gritty noises on the asphalt. Chickadees had taken up residence on the snow-covered branches and alternated their chirpy calls with the throatier “dee dee dee” sounds. Charlie took deep breaths of the crisp air. By the time she reached Dave’s, she was warmed up from the exercise and the sun that had seeped through her winter clothing. The motion and fresh air had lulled Daniel back to sleep. With a soft laugh, she wished he dropped off to sleep this easily at night.
She knocked on his door and waited, but there was no answer. Surprising, because his truck was in the yard. She hopped down the steps and peered around the corner into the backyard. It didn’t take long to find him. The lot sloped down to the beach, and she caught sight of his plaid jacket through the shrubs. He was sitting on a boulder, tossing rocks into the water, the lapping of the gentle waves soothing and rhythmic.
She often found it too cold on her deck, but she understood the allure. In warmer weather she spent a lot of time looking out over the bay, listening to the waves and the gulls, letting the sounds ease her mind.
She took Daniel from the stroller and snuggled him against her shoulder. “Hey, stranger,” she called, announcing her arrival. She sauntered closer, taking her time as she picked her way down the rocky path to the beach. “Is this a bad time? I got my tree up. It was feeling a little empty at my place. I thought a walk in the sun would do us good. And … I wondered how you were getting on with your tree.”
“It’s in the stand.”
“I see.”
They sat for a few minutes in silence.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “I’m in a cranky mood and not the best company, I guess.”
“It’s okay.” She smiled softly. “Everyone’s entitled to a bad day. Anything I can do to help?”
He huffed out a humorless chuckle. “The doctor is in?”
“I figure if you want me to know anything more, you’ll tell me. If not, I’ll mind my own business.”
He sighed. “I was supposed to have Nora next weekend. But Janice called and said her husband’s family has invited them all to Boston for some big holiday event. I feel like an ogre saying no, but I missed my last weekend because she was down with the flu.”
“That’s rough.” Charlie covered his gloved hand with hers, repositioning Daniel on her shoulder. “But Nora knows you’re a good father, and so does Janice.”
“I guess it just bugs me to think that I’m letting my family down. And I know it doesn’t make sense. I’m not the one changing plans. But still.” He met her gaze. “This is the first Christmas I get to spend with her and I feel like I’m missing out.”
There was no reason why Charlie should feel jealous, but she did. She had no claim on Dave, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to have one either. All they’d shared were a few kisses, a lunch, and a first date. But hearing him talk about his family was like a shot to her irrational heart. He already had what she wanted so badly.
“She’s bringing Nora by later this afternoon,” he added, and Charlie swallowed thickly. “Kind of a consolation for me losing my visitation time.”
“I see.” It was the only response she could come up with. She knew she was being petty, but she wondered if Dave wanted to see his ex. If he still had feelings for her. And there was no way on earth Charlie would ask those questions.
“Okay,” she said, taking a breath and scrabbling off the rock. “I’ll get out of your way.” It seemed Daniel had had enough too, because he squirmed against her chest, fussing. She patted his back with her mittened hand.
“You’re not in my way.”
“Are you sure?” He definitely hadn’t invited her in, or to stay, or anything else. She was feeling worse and worse, just when she’d thought maybe she should put her misgivings aside and take a chance on them.
“I get it, Dave. You would rather we weren’t around when your daughter visits.”
He ran his hands over his hair as she turned to go. She’d only taken a few steps when his voice stopped her again.
“Charlie, when Janice and I parted ways…”
She turned back. Faced him head-on.
“… I think both of us were relieved. We’d always been better friends than lovers. We tried for Nora’s sake, but there was no point.”
“You’re telling me this why?”
“Because you seem to think I don’t want you around. It’s not that. It’s just … I only have a few hours. I want to talk to Janice about visitation and it’s probably better if I do that without an audience.”
“It’s fine, really. I should get Daniel home anyway.”
He took his hands out of his pockets again and reached for her, pulling her into a warm hug. Daniel squirmed in the close quarters but they both ignored him, focusing on each other instead.
“Are you jealous?” he whispered.
She smelled the clean, woodsy smell she was getting used to, the softness of the flannel of his quilted jacket. “Of course not,” she lied.
“Charlie?”
“Hmm?” Why was she getting so lost in his eyes? Daniel whimpered, the sound muffled in his plushy snowsuit.
“Are we starting something here? Because it feels like we are.”
“Do you want to be?” she asked, and held her breath. The more she got to know him, the more her misgivings melted away. He had potential. He was a good man making his way through a complicated situation. Surely that was reason enough to curb her usual need to define and categorize and just chill. Take it one step at a time.
“How can you ask that? Ever since we met, I’ve been trying to find ways to spend time with you. You make me laugh, which is something I haven’t done much of recently. You’re kind and a little bit shy and…” He paused and framed her face with his other hand too. “And you’re beautiful. I’d be crazy not to want to see you again.”
She pushed away the little voice that insisted that nowhere was a possible destination for the two of them. Charlie was getting thoroughly sick of hearing that voice, and she was starting to understand why. It was because every time she’d tried to make a decision for herself, her parents had insisted that it would take her nowhere. That their way was better. Safer. They knew best way more than she did.
She swallowed. Told herself this wasn’t about rebellion but about finally, finally trusting herself to make good decisions. To know what was best for herself.
“Me too,” she whispered.
His lips were cold as they kissed, but she didn’t mind in the least. With
a slight groan of pleasure, she twined one arm around his neck and he squeezed his around her waist, their bodies angled so they fit together without crushing the baby. The wind made a shushing sound in the fir trees around them, cocooning them from the outside world.
When they finally broke apart and Charlie’s heels were back on solid ground, Dave gave a little chuckle. “Phew,” he said.
“Phew is right. But I’d better go, let you get ready. I’ll talk to you later?”
“I’ll call. Let you know how it went.”
She gave him a final peck on the lips and then stepped back, lifting a mittened hand in a wave. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.” He nodded at her. “And thanks for understanding, Charlie.”
“Of course.”
It only took a few moments to fasten Daniel back into the stroller and start home to the cottage, her thoughts whirling with Dave, his kiss, their conversation.
Chapter Nine
When Charlie didn’t hear from Dave on Sunday night, she pretty much reconciled herself to the fact that she’d been constructing sand castles in the sky where he was concerned. A few dates and a few kisses did not a relationship make. Even if he had said it was something more. Obviously, it wasn’t enough to get him to pick up the phone.
Reality check, Yang, she reminded herself early Monday morning as she cradled Daniel in one arm and poured herself a cup of Josh’s high-test sludge from the office pot with her opposite hand. It had been a rough night. Daniel had fussed and she’d been up every two hours trying to get him to settle.
It was Josh who finally stepped into her office between patients and told her to sit for five minutes.
“You look like death warmed over. You need some time off?”
“Of course not.” She was managing okay. It was just a bad day was all. “We had a rough night. Nothing serious.”
It Must Be Christmas Page 17
