She stopped eating and stared at him.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I just mean that … well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. You tell people you’re fine, you give of yourself, but you never really let anyone in. You don’t want to be any trouble. And you don’t want to give someone the power to really hurt you either. Because you’ve been disappointed a lot in your life. And it works but only a little because deep down you’re lonely and you need someone to give all that love to. Being a doctor is perfect. You get to help people without becoming personally involved.”
“Wow. That’s some psychoanalysis.”
“And that’s exactly what I’d say if I wanted to avoid the issue and turn the tables. We’re more alike than you think, Charlie.”
“Except I did let someone in. You.”
He hadn’t expected her to admit it, and it took him by surprise.
“We don’t have to talk about this now,” he said. “On top of everything else.”
“Or ever, right?” She picked up her fork again, and stabbed it into her mound of potatoes, her lips set in an angry line.
“I didn’t come here to pile on, Charlie. Not after the day you’ve had.”
“You pretty much said it all anyway,” she reminded him, playing with the potatoes but not eating them.
“No, I didn’t. I didn’t say nearly enough. And I certainly didn’t say the right things.”
Her fork stopped moving. He might have imagined it, but he thought he saw her lower lip give another little quiver before she bit down on it.
“I went to see Nora,” he explained. “And the whole time I was watching their family all together I was thinking about you, and the fun we had together, and how easy it is to talk to you, and how much I loved kissing you … and … and how much I missed you.”
Her chin started quivering again.
“I was an idiot, Charlie. I let my fear of being tied down get in the way of what I really wanted. You. I told myself I didn’t want to settle down, but the truth is I’ve moved around so much, I’ve never had much luck with romance that … well, I wasn’t sure I was ready to put down roots. If I’d ever be ready.” He swallowed. “I’m probably saying this all wrong…”
“You’re doing okay.”
She was looking at him with luminous eyes and he pushed forward. “I love you, Charlie.”
* * *
Charlie hadn’t been expecting those words. Not today, not ever. And damn him for getting to her on a day she was emotionally vulnerable to start with. She blinked to clear away the moisture that had sprung to her eyes. “Don’t say that,” she whispered, her voice hoarse.
“Why?” he asked. He walked around her desk and turned her steno chair so it was facing him, then squatted down in front of her, just like she’d done with Michelle earlier. “Why don’t you want me to say it? Because you don’t want to hear it or because you want to and you’re afraid?”
“It’s been barely a month of you and me doing a dance and … whatever.” She fumbled the words, words she’d dreamed of hearing and that now scared her to death. He was right. Because if he said them and didn’t mean them, she was bound to get her heart broken. And if he did mean them …
If he did …
“Do you believe in fate, Charlie?”
She swallowed. Hard. “I don’t know.”
“I do.” His fingers dug into her knees as he held on to her. “I think I landed here in Jewell Cove for a reason. I think I came here because I needed to. That night at the tree lighting something happened. I turned around with that baby in my arms and saw you and nothing has been the same since.”
She heard the echoes in her head, echoes from her past. “Make sure you keep up your marks, Charlene. Don’t forget to wear your best dress, Charlene. This is important to the family, Charlene. Don’t disappoint us, Charlene.”
She was no better than he was. She had dreams of a family of her own and it turned out she was too chicken to act on it when she had the chance. And now here was the man of her dreams standing in front of her telling her he loved her and she was backing away. What the hell was wrong with her?
He lifted his hand and touched her cheek. “A month isn’t very long. But it was long enough for me to come to my senses. Long enough for me to recognize that I’d met someone who made me smile again, made me laugh, made me actually look forward to the future rather than just going from day to day. Do you know how rare that is?”
She put her hand over his and drew it away from her face, down into her lap. “Dave,” she said quietly, “it was barely a week ago when you stood in your kitchen and told me flat out that you couldn’t give me what I wanted. What changed? Why should I trust that?”
He got up from his squatted position but held onto her hand, gave it a tug until she was out of the chair, and reversed positions so that he was in the chair and he pulled her into his lap.
His arm was strong as it circled her, his face utterly open and sincere as he looked up at her. “Charlene.”
She waited. He seemed to be gathering his words, and there was a sense that whatever he said next was going to be of utmost importance. Butterflies winged through her stomach and her fingers trembled. It terrified her how much she wanted to believe him.
And then there it was, a look in his eyes that was so beautiful that it felt like her heart was melting right there in her chest. It made her breath catch and a strange sort of excitement pulse through her veins. “David,” she whispered, and reached out and placed her hand along the side of his face, feeling the stubble against her skin.
He turned his head slightly, kissed the curve of her palm.
“There are so many things I might have done differently,” he said, his arms still tight around her hips. “I might have not gotten together with Janice. I might have put off having kids, or stayed in the Navy. I realize that right now, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. In Jewell Cove. With you. And that I wouldn’t be here if any of those things hadn’t happened. They all led me to you, Charlie. You are where I’m meant to be. You make my world make sense.”
“You really mean that, don’t you?”
“With my life. I don’t need to count weeks or months to figure it out. And it won’t be perfect all the time. I know that. I just know I want to try.”
It won’t be perfect all the time. She rolled those words around in her head a few times, mulling them over. She thought about Michelle in the next room, struggling so hard to make decisions, thought about Josh, who’d lost his wife overseas mere weeks before she was due to return home. She thought about Lizzie’s mom, and how she’d had to be put in full-time care. Truth was, there was no such thing as perfect all the time, and perhaps that was Charlie’s problem. She’d built up this imaginary dream life to be so perfect that it was an impossible, unattainable goal.
Instead she had a wonderful, slightly damaged, sexy, beautiful man holding her tight and asking her to give them a shot. And it occurred to her that perhaps she’d been demanding too much, because what he was offering was everything. Himself. All he asked in return was that she meet him halfway.
“You really mean that you love me?”
She relaxed into his arms, curling into his embrace so that her face was nestled in the curve of his neck. “Oh yes,” he answered softly. “Charlie, there was a moment. I know you remember it. You have to. A moment when we were making love and our eyes met and it was like lightning.”
She did remember. It had been a magical, soul-deep connection beyond anything she’d ever known. It had been the moment that had given her hope that the life she longed for might be within her grasp.
Now he was telling her it was. And she could either choose to believe him or walk away.
She thought of what Lizzie would say right now and she laughed a little, holding on to him a bit tighter. Lizzie would tell her to stop being a chicken and take a chance, because if she didn’t, she’d always regret it.
“Is that a good la
ugh or a bad one? Cripes, woman. I spill my guts to you and you laugh?”
She pushed on his chest so that she was sitting up and could look him square in the face. “David Ricker, I am terrified of having my heart broken. But lucky for you I’m more afraid of what will become of me if I don’t take a chance. So here it is. I fell in love with you too. Right about the time you turned around with a baby in your arms and told me we had a problem.”
A smile bloomed on his face and he pulled her close, kissing her like she was a cool glass of water and he was a man dying of thirst. With a heart full of hope, she kissed him back, melting into him, loving the taste and feel of him until she realized someone was knocking on her office door.
Reluctantly she removed her lips from his and then felt heat rush to her face as she saw Josh standing in the doorway, his knuckles resting on the door frame and a goofy grin on his face.
“I hate to interrupt this reunion, but Michelle is getting ready to go now. She asked to see you first.”
Charlie turned to Dave. “Do you want to meet her? She seemed very interested in knowing who found her baby.”
“She brought us together, didn’t she? Of course I’ll meet her.”
“I’ll be right back.”
Michelle agreed to meet Dave, and Charlie loved the way he smiled at the girl when she walked through the office door. He had a big heart too, whether he realized it or not.
“Thank you,” Michelle said quietly. “For saving my baby.”
“You’re welcome,” he answered, and he came forward and shook her hand. “Don’t worry, okay? You’ve got Dr. Yang in your corner. And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that when she’s got your back, it’s not the end. It’s just the beginning. You’re going to be just fine.”
Michelle nodded, shouldering her backpack, and then she suddenly smiled. “Oh!” She let the pack slide to the floor and hurriedly undid the zipper. “I nearly forgot. I took this the night I left him in the manger. I didn’t mean to steal it, I just wasn’t sure…”
She stood up. It was the doll from the manger, still diapered and swaddled and wrapped in Dave’s soft shirt.
Charlie started to laugh, and so did Dave. She put her arm around Michelle’s shoulders. And in that moment, she knew that everything was going to work out exactly as it should. And it had nothing to do with facts or figures. It was all down to one simple thing: faith.
Chapter Fourteen
Light snow was falling on Christmas Eve. The tangle of lights Charlie had wrestled with the first day was twinkling from the shrubs throughout the churchyard. A floodlight lit up the nativity, and together Charlie and Dave went forward and placed the original Baby Jesus on the straw.
“Back where he belongs,” Dave said quietly, holding Charlie’s hand.
“It seems like so long ago I was sitting here talking to him like he was my best friend. So silly…”
Dave shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe he was listening.”
Charlie laughed a little, leaning against Dave’s arm. “That’s even more embarrassing. I was telling him about this guy I could see from the window at Breeze’s on my lunch hour. How I’d made up this fantasy boyfriend…”
“I hope the reality surpasses your imagination.”
“Oh, definitely.”
The parking lot was filling up and many of the townspeople walked to the church for the Christmas Eve service. It wasn’t generally Charlie’s speed, but lots of things were changing this year, and for the better. As she and Dave stepped inside the vestibule together, with Daniel cradled in Dave’s strong arms, she felt more a part of the community than ever.
“Merry Christmas, Charlene,” called Gloria Henderson, who was bustling her way toward the front of the church to take her place at the organ.
“Merry Christmas,” she called back. The same thing happened a half dozen more times as they hung up their coats and took the baby out of his snowsuit. Robin showed up with her sister; Todd Smith was there in uniform, still on duty but stopping in to take in part of the annual tradition just the same. Josh and his extended family and lots of people she recognized from the businesses around town arrived, smiling and laughing and filled with Christmas spirit. She introduced Dave to several, and a warm glow filled her from head to toe as they finally made it to a pew near the back to enjoy the caroling and service.
A huge pine tree was at the front of the church, decorated in white lights and ornaments and exuding a festive piney smell throughout the sanctuary. But best of all were the candles, thick pillars of them, lit on every windowsill, the stained glass glowing in their light. Once the service was over, there was mingling again in the crowded entry, and a sense of peace and goodwill and happiness that Charlie wished she could bottle and carry with her forever. Meggie appropriated Daniel for a diaper change, and Charlie held on to Dave’s hand feeling like everything was right in the world.
She looked at the door and saw Marissa Longfellow, and to her surprise, Michelle was with her, dressed in a new winter coat, black leggings and boots that came to just below her knees. She was quite pretty today, with her hair washed and falling easily over her shoulders, and a little hint of makeup. Charlie tugged on Dave’s hand and led him to the entrance, where they stepped outside into the cool air peppered with fat, lazy snowflakes.
“Michelle. You look wonderful.” Charlie, who usually shied away from physical intimacy, gave the girl a quick hug. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
Michelle smiled shyly. “Ms. Longfellow is my new Santa Claus. I have a court date after Christmas, but she convinced the judge to let me stay with her in the meantime. Extenuating circumstances, she said. And then we paid a visit to the secondhand store and got me some new clothes.”
Marissa smiled. “Michelle wants to make a new start. It won’t be a fast process or an easy one. She could use a helping hand, that’s all.”
“I agree.”
“Me too,” Dave echoed.
“I know that what I did was so wrong.” She smiled sadly at all of them. “But I want to build a better life and I want a better life for him too. One that he’ll find with a good family.”
Charlie knew it had to be hard for Michelle to say. “That’s very brave of you, sweetie.”
“I hope one day I can be someone my son can be proud of. I’m thinking it might be like asking for a Christmas miracle, but who knows, right?”
“Stranger things have happened,” Charlie confirmed, taking Dave’s hand. “I happen to be a big believer in second chances.”
“Me too,” Dave confirmed, looking down into Charlie’s eyes. For a long moment their gazes held, and Charlie felt like the luckiest woman in the world.
After they said their good-byes, they collected Daniel and headed back to Charlie’s for the night. She’d turned on her lights before leaving, and as they drove in the yard, cheery multicolored bulbs glowed on the new snow. She realized that she’d come to love this cottage. Come to love Jewell Cove, especially once she started to let people in. It was home. When Dave took the keys from her hand and opened her front door, her heart gave a little pang. She took a moment and made a wish. A wish that Dave would maybe want to make it his home too. When they stepped inside and shut the door, he pulled her close and kissed her: long, thorough, beautiful. She put her arms around his neck and squeezed. When he was here, it felt like a missing piece of the puzzle was finally in place.
She’d tucked Daniel into bed and poured them each a glass of wine as he built the fire, and she was ready to put on a Christmas movie when Dave took her hand.
“I have something for you.”
He led her away from the entertainment center and to the front of the tree, where a few gifts already waited, tucked beneath the branches. Confused and a little excited, Charlie couldn’t help the smile that curved her lips.
“What?” he asked. “You look like the cat that ate the canary.”
“I’m just happy,” she answered. “I’ve never spent Christmas with anyone like this.
It’s special.”
“So are you. “He reached into the middle of the tree and took out a box, about four inches square. “I tucked this in here before we left. I thought about waiting for tomorrow, but I want you to have it tonight.”
He held it out, and she took the red foil-wrapped box into her hands. It was light, and with shaky fingers she undid the ribbon and slid her fingernail beneath the tape holding the paper in place.
She lifted the lid and found an ornament inside—the same one she’d found at the bookstore at the Evergreen Festival, a perfectly round ball covered with paper quotes.
“Oh, Dave. It’s lovely.” She held it in her fingers. “It’s the Shakespeare one, right?”
His gaze was intent on her as he gave a slight nod. “Yes.”
It was very thoughtful, and she remembered him being a little longer in the store that day. “You said that they were changing the register tape, but you were buying this, weren’t you?”
“I was.”
“I love it.” She was so perfectly happy at this moment, she was positive life couldn’t get any better. But then she picked it up by the loop and went to hang it on the tree and a splash of green caught her eye. Bright green, like from a highlighter pen. She drew her hand back and turned the orb so that she could examine the strip of paper.
I would not wish any companion in the world but you.
A lump grew in her throat and the text blurred for a second. “Oh, Dave.” She drew in an emotional breath. “What’s it from?”
He put his arm around her waist and drew her close. “I looked it up. It’s from The Tempest.”
She took one step forward and hung it on a branch right in the middle of the tree. “I love you. You know that, right?”
“I do. So what do you say, Chuckles?”
“Say?”
He lifted her hand to his lips. She looked up at him, unsure of what he was asking, simply loving the sight of him there before her, knowing she loved him and was loved in return. Nothing could be sweeter.
“Companions. Partners. Lovers. I want it all. I want it all with you.”
Okay, so she hadn’t quite expected for her wish to be granted so quickly. But she was learning not to look a gift horse in the mouth. “I want that too.”
It Must Be Christmas Page 22
