by Amy Andrews
Jess plastered a smile on her face as she nodded. ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘I’ve got a late shift anyway.’
But she could have swapped it.
If he’d asked.
If he’d wanted her to be there with him.
Her smile was bright but it didn’t quite reach her eyes and deep inside he knew she was upset at not being invited. ‘Jess,’ he murmured. ‘It’s nothing.’
Jess broadened her smile. ‘I know.’
But she knew she had to get up and get out of the bed because she felt absurdly close to tears.
And she did not cry.
She was not a crier.
She kicked the sheets aside and slipped out of bed, her body already missing the heat of his. She headed for the bathroom, her heart beat drumming in her chest, needing to get away.
Adam heard the shower turn on and frowned. Damn it. He’d upset her. He hadn’t meant to but he had absolutely no intention of exposing all her loveliness to the chief.
Not after Caroline.
He’d vowed never to expose another woman to his father ever again.
It was bad enough that he had to go. Adam rolled out of bed and headed for the en suite. He lounged in the doorway for a moment, watching her distorted figure through the frosted glass of the shower screen. The urge to open the door, watch the water course over her curves, to join her, tingled through his feet and he gripped the architrave hard to stop himself.
He doubted his presence in the shower would be appreciated right now.
Although he’d bet his last cent he could persuade her to forget what had just happened in under one minute.
‘Aren’t you coming down to the beach?’ he asked instead.
Jess froze beneath the spray as his voice carried to her. She opened her eyes and saw him lounging against the doorframe, all naked and lethal. She shut her eyes again and pushed her face into the hard spray to arrest the still threatening tears.
‘Think I’ll give it a miss this morning,’ she said. ‘I’ll have the coffee on when you get back.’
Adam debated about whether to push further but she’d turned her back on him and maybe she just needed a little space. ‘See you in a bit, then?’
Jess nodded as a huge lump lodged in her throat. ‘Sure,’ she choked out.
He turned and left and she finally let the tears flow and mingle with the warm spray.
Jess got home from work at nine-thirty. Her feet throbbed and she had a headache. The shift had dragged and she hadn’t been able to concentrate on even the simplest of requests from the eye surgeon working his way through seven intra-ocular lens implants.
The house was quiet and it took less than a minute to establish that Adam and Ruby were still not home. With Tilly on nights and Ellie and James out to dinner she was alone. And the house had never felt so empty.
Jess prowled around, not able to settle to anything. She had a shower. Took a couple of painkillers for her headache. Washed them down with a glass of wine and a huge bowl of ice cream with caramel topping and chocolate sprinkles.
Watched a bit of television.
Watched the clock.
But he’d told her not to wait up.
So, with the time now nudging eleven, she decided to go to bed.
But which bed?
It somehow didn’t feel right going to his bed without him being there. Why, she wasn’t sure—too presumptuous maybe? But, then, her bedroom felt kind of alien too. She hadn’t slept in it for nearly two weeks, just visiting it to grab clothes, and in a crazy way she felt she’d outgrown the floral sheets and embroidered cushions.
And what kind of message would that send to him if she went to her bedroom? That she was in some kind of a snit?
Or worse.
That she was into childish acts of retribution when things didn’t go her way? Testing him in some way?
Because she didn’t believe in those kind of games.
And she wasn’t mad at him. She was mad at herself. For building castles in the sky when he’d expressly told her not to. For hoping, even subconsciously, that he’d have a change of heart. That he’d fall for her too.
For letting awkwardness build between them this morning.
But, still, as she stood in his bedroom doorway she just couldn’t bring herself to lie down on the bed without him. It seemed something that a girlfriend would do, a partner, a wife.
And at the moment she didn’t know where she stood.
She was pretty damn certain she was neither of the first two and finally absolutely certain she’d never be the third.
Lying down on his bed seemed like she was trying to make a statement about her importance to him. And after not inviting her to his parents’ dinner party, it seemed stupid to presume again.
She turned away, shut the door and climbed the stairs to her room where, with the help of the wine, the headache tablets and a good book, she fell into a troubled sleep.
It was nearly one when Adam returned home. Ruby had gone to stay the night at Cort’s and all he’d been able to think about on the drive home was sinking into Jess’s sweet body.
Getting lost in her eyes and her sighs and her kisses.
It was only thoughts of Jess that had kept his anger at bay. Gregory Carmichael had been his typical self and Adam had had become more and more tense as each minute had passed.
His father’s audacity was breathtaking. After years of ridiculing what Adam did as a low-paying waste of time, he’d greeted Adam like the prodigal son. It seemed if you got yourself on television and in glossy magazines then you could be forgiven for refusing to follow in Daddy’s footsteps.
Totally ignoring Ruby and Cort, he’d squired Adam around the room, introducing him to all his plastic-surgeon colleagues as his son, the humanitarian surgeon, who did vital work in Third World countries.
Any of the chief’s esteemed guests would be forgiven in thinking that Gregory Carmichael was a man immensely proud of his son but Adam knew different. Adam had felt his disdain and disapproval for many years and wasn’t fooled by this sudden father-of-the-year performance.
He felt like one of the many ridiculous trophies on his father’s mantelpiece and it was only the silent plea in his mother’s eyes and Ruby’s murmured ‘Think of Mum’ that kept him from walking away.
Adam endured his father’s sexist jokes about female doctors and the ridiculing of his patients’ vanity all through dinner. His father seemed totally oblivious to Ruby’s silent outrage and the obvious embarrassment of his wife and some of the other women present.
Gregory had alternated between obsequiously sweet and patronising to his mother, even having the nerve to gossip about a colleague whose wife had just caught him in flagrante delicto with his secretary. Considering his affairs were common and painful knowledge, his lack of insight into his own behaviour and its effects was astonishing.
How his mother stayed, Adam would never know.
And if that was the power of love, he wanted nothing of it.
But none if it was at the forefront of Adam’s mind as he strode through the house, stripping off his tie heading straight for his bedroom.
Jess was all he could think of.
Her sweet smile. Her tinkly laugh. The sparkle in her open, honest gaze.
Her warm, willing body.
His shirt was half-undone when he threw the door open and stopped abruptly at the threshold as his empty bed greeted him.
What the hell?
Where was she?
A primal grunt of pure frustration tore at his throat, begging for release. The tempo of his pulse picked up as it bounded in his chest and washed through his ears. He thumped his fist against the door.
Goddamn it!
There had to be an explanation as to why she wasn’t in his bed. Maybe an emergency surgical case had come in before and she was working overtime? Maybe she’d gone out with some friends after work and was still at the Stat Bar.
Maybe she’d joined Ellie and James?
His heart beat harder as worse possibilities entered his head.
Maybe she’d been knocked down by a car as she was walking home from work.
Or been mugged.
Or abducted.
Damn it, he’d told her to not walk home from the hospital at night!
Panic took hold as fear beat like a jungle drum in his head. He whirled away from the door and headed for the lounge room, looking for evidence she’d come home from work.
No bag on the coffee table. No shoes on the floor. Television off.
Nothing.
He headed for the kitchen. The sink held a wine glass and a bowl with the remnants of what appeared to be ice cream and chocolate sprinkles.
Adam sagged against the sink as a flood of relief swelled through his chest. The bowl hadn’t been there when he’d left with Ruby, and Jess did have a penchant for sprinkles on her ice cream.
He felt a wave of nausea sweep through him and for a moment he actually thought he might vomit in the sink. His arms trembled with the effort to keep it at bay.
She was here. She was safe.
It took a minute to pull himself together and start to think analytically again.
So, where was she?
He turned and rested his butt against the sink. His gaze fell on the staircase and he wondered…
Was she in her own room? Sleeping in her own bed?
She’d certainly been upset with him this morning. Maybe she still was? Maybe she was telling him in no uncertain terms that he couldn’t have it both ways. That the last thing she wanted to do tonight was sleep with him. Maybe this was her way of saying it was over?
No.
If there was one thing he knew about Jess it was that she was too honest and open to play stupid passive-aggressive games. She didn’t have a vengeful bone in her body.
It just wasn’t her.
He pushed away from the sink and headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time. Despite her reasons for not being in his bed he wanted to know where she was, assure himself that she was okay.
Damn it, he wanted to talk to her.
He enjoyed talking to her just as much as rolling around with her on his sheets. Although, God knew, he wanted to feel her under him pretty damn fiercely as well.
He could see by the slim crack in her doorway as he approached that it wasn’t completely shut and he pushed the door open quietly when he reached it.
And there she lay in soft yellow lamp light. Sound asleep on her side, the floral sheets twisted around her legs, her blonde hair fanned out on the pillow behind her, a romance novel discarded beside her on the bed.
He lounged in the doorway, drinking in the sight of her. She was wearing some kind of nightdress—not naked, like she’d been in his bed every night—and between it and the sheet she was pretty obscured from view. Thankfully one leg was exposed and the nightdress had ridden up high on her thigh and he could see lots of lovely skin.
It reminded him of the first day he’d come back and he’d woken in her bed to find her ogling him.
A surge of desire swamped him.
He wanted her. Wanted to get lost in her. To forget this whole horrible night. The audacity of his father. His king-sized ego. His lack of insight.
The farce of it all.
Adam felt…sullied. And he desperately wanted not to. He wanted to feel fresh and shiny and new. He wanted to affirm life. To know that there were people out there that were good and decent and selfless.
People like Jess.
Without any further thought he took two paces into the room, shutting the door quietly as he passed by. He ditched his half-undone shirt and quickly divested himself of the rest of his clothes.
He was as hard as a rock when he slipped into bed behind her and nuzzled her neck.
‘Jess?’ he murmured, his hand running up from the flat of her belly to cup her breast. Even though the thin cotton fabric was an annoying barrier, he could still feel the puckering of her nipple.
Jess stirred as the delicious scrape of Adam’s whiskers brushed shivers of delight over her skin. Her nipples beaded, her skin goosed. His hand at her breast sent a bolt of pleasure to her core and her eyes fluttered open.
She turned her head to say hi but he claimed her mouth before she could say a thing and the rampant power of his kiss had her turning, wrapping her arms around his neck, mashing her body hard against his.
She could feel his erection pushing against her belly as his mouth left hers to ravage her throat and his hands stroked boldly down her body.
‘I missed you,’ he muttered against her neck as he pulled up the fabric of her night attire. ‘I need you. Now.’
Jess had no intention of denying him, wouldn’t even have been capable as he unleashed a maelstrom of lust upon her. His mouth was savaging all the sensitive places of her neck, plundering her mouth. His hands, rough and urgent against her. Kneading her breasts, pushing her pants down, slipping between her legs, his fingers probing, seeking entry, his thumb pressing hard against the spot he knew so well.
And when he moved over her, her thighs spread to accommodate him, her pelvis eagerly cradled his, her legs locked around his waist.
She cried out when he entered her in one swift movement, raking her fingers down his back as she hovered on a knife edge between pleasure and pain. He slammed his mouth against hers and the pain dissolved in a starburst of pleasure as a delicious heat bloomed from her core.
Adam grabbed her leg, bending it at the knee, needing more. He couldn’t get close enough, deep enough, as he pounded into her. He didn’t want to just be joined to her. He wanted to get inside her skin, dissolve into her, be part of her.
He wanted to consume her. Devour her.
Be cleansed by her.
She moaned into his mouth and grabbed both of his butt cheeks and it stoked his need even higher. Three more thrusts and he could feel the turbulent power of his climax tightening deep inside, twisting through his groin and tearing at the backs of his thighs.
He pounded more. Rode it. Built it higher. Felt it ripple out in excruciating waves like rivulets of hot lava spewing over his abdominals.
And then it broke and he cried out into her neck, clutching at her convulsively as every cell seized and then fibrillated to the motion of his orgasm, rocking, trembling, sighing.
Jess held him tight until the last of his climax subsided and he collapsed against her.
It was several minutes before either of them had sufficient breath to speak.
Jess, shifting under his steadily increasing weight, spoke first. ‘Do you want to tell me what that was about?’
Adam, his face buried in her neck, slowly came back to reality at the sound of her voice. His head spun as he eased up and off her, rolling onto his back. He felt drained, sapped of energy, the movement a monumental effort.
He ran a hand through his hair. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, turning his head to look at her. Her nightdress was ruched up around her neck, there were whisker burns on her throat and her mouth was swollen.
‘I don’t know what came over me… I was…an animal… Did I hurt you?’
Jess pulled her nightie down and rolled up onto her side. ‘Of course not.’ She smiled at him, lifting her hand to his face, running her thumb over his mouth. ‘There’s something enormously sexy about a man who’s that desperate to make love to you.’
Adam shied from her choice of words. That hadn’t been love. It had been lust—pure and terrifying.
It certainly wasn’t something she’d find in one of her romance novels.
‘I take it the dinner party wasn’t a barrel of laughs.’
Adam rolled his head back to face the ceiling. His sigh was loud in the stillness of the night. ‘My father is an utter bastard.’
Jess’s heart went out to him as he stared gloomily at the ceiling. She had no idea what had transpired but Adam had been really keyed up when he’d climbed into her bed. Tense. Angry even.
�
��He’s had several affairs, you know,’ Adam murmured, looking back at her. ‘They’ve devastated my mother.’
Jess wasn’t sure if this was leading anywhere or why he’d brought it up but it was obviously one of the many things that weighed on his conscience where his father was concerned.
And part of her couldn’t help but think the longer they were together, the more he was opening up. Surely that meant something?
‘Why doesn’t she leave him?’
‘Because all she ever wanted to be was the great Gregory Carmichael’s wife. She gave up everything she wanted, including a nursing career she absolutely loved, to be just that. To dedicate her time to doting on him. Her whole world revolves around him.’ Adam’s lips twisted. ‘She won’t hear a bad word about him.’
Jess frowned. ‘You sound angry with her.’
Adam felt the cut as Jess zeroed in on the gaping wound. ‘I guess I am…in a way.’ He hated to admit it. Felt disloyal. He loved his mother.
But…
‘She’s the nicest, sweetest, gentlest person you could ever hope to meet. She’s too good for him. She’s certainly the only reason why we tolerate him. But she won’t say no to him. She’s let him dominate her until she’s this…sad kind of…non-entity.’
Jess could hear the anguish in his voice. It must hurt him to see someone he obviously loved not getting the respect she deserved. But maybe she had what she wanted in life. Maybe being a wife was all she wanted? ‘Is she happy, do you think?’
Adam shook his head slowly and searched her face. ‘Honestly? Apart from the humiliation of the affairs, I think she is…’
Jess could understand the confusion in his voice. It didn’t sound like any relationship she wanted to be in. She lifted her hand and traced his lips with her finger. ‘Well, then, maybe that’s all that counts?’ she suggested softly.
The thought had crossed Adam’s mind constantly. His mother was happy. So maybe it was none of his damn business. Maybe he should just grit his teeth and be happy for her too. Adam grabbed her hand and pulled it down to his chest, tucking it securely into his. ‘You know I would never do that,’ he said capturing her gaze. ‘Right?’
