She imagined how hurt Colleen would be. She liked her world to be just so, with her gnomes and Bobby’s income. And the pool she was drooling over.
“You’ll break it off?”
He drooped with relief. “Yes, I promise!”
“But…” Her gaze went to the workshop door where Wendy was slinking through the darkness to wherever she’d parked her car. “Why?”
“It’s not important.”
“Look, if you want me to keep your secret, I deserve an answer.”
He fidgeted for a moment. “When I’m with her, I feel like a man. You probably wouldn’t understand that, being a woman and all. And Wayne, well, you let him do pretty much what he wanted. Colleen keeps me on a short leash, like a dog. That’s what I feel like with her. She tells me what to do, yells at me for leaving my socks on the floor or wearing the same pair of underwear two days in a row. I’m tired of living in that cave with those creepy gnomes.”
“Why don’t you tell her all this?”
“She won’t listen. It’s because of you. She says she had to live a certain way all her life because of you being sick. Now she wants to live her own way. She won’t let me quit and start my own business either.”
Because of her. The reason she kept those gnomes around, because she hadn’t been allowed to do much else.
“I’m doing what I can to make myself happy,” he said
“And that includes doing Wendy?”
“Well…she makes me happy. I feel in control, like a man for the first time in years.” He raised his large hand in a pledge. “But I’ll call it off.”
She turned and walked slowly back to the house. She couldn’t look at him anymore, not without feeling her stomach turn. Now the sweet jasmine smelled nauseating.
“Baby,” Mom called when Maddie finally had enough nerve to walk inside. “Aren’t you going to help us finish this puzzle?”
She could only shake her head and go to her room.
“She’s just mad about this whole thing,” Colleen said, sounding self-righteous as usual. “You know how she can be.”
Sometimes Maddie didn’t like her sister, but she loved her too much to let on the real reason she couldn’t look at them. She sank onto her bed, only dimly aware that Mom had rearranged her room again. She stared up at the three plastic angels hanging from the ceiling as they swayed in the air from the vent. Her world had already tilted without her telling a soul.
Maddie woke as soon as the sun came up, though she felt as though she hadn’t slept much. Mom was on the phone. “An extra order of the blueberry muffins? Got it.”
“Good morning, Mom,” Maddie said, kissing her on the cheek after Mom hung up.
“Good morning? Are you all right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“You haven’t said that in a year.”
“Is that a bad thing, me saying it this morning?”
“Well, of course not. But when you change, it worries me. Here, have a muffin.”
Maddie piled the leftover pork and green beans into a Tupperware container while Mom was occupied with packing muffins on the delivery trays.
“Are you still going down to the marina?” Mom asked.
“Yep. I’m going to talk to Carol and see if there’s anything I can help with.” That much was true.
Mom slid her a sideways glance. “Colleen thinks you’re going to meet that guy again, but I told her you wouldn’t lie about it, so I’m not even going to ask you.”
Maddie swallowed hard. If she didn’t answer, she wasn’t lying. She kissed her mom on the cheek. “Bye. Be careful driving around. I’ll be home in time to meet Q’s bus.”
Just because Maddie felt her heart step up a beat as she approached the warehouse didn’t mean anything. Naturally she was drawn to Chase because Wayne had sent him. But not drawn in that way.
And she maintained that, even though the sight of him sent a surge of heat through her, and there was no way she could keep the smile from her face.
It felt good to smile. Maybe that was the only reason Chase was sent to her, so she could learn to smile again.
He was mixing something in a large bucket, and his biceps flexed with every movement. “You’re a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?”
She held up the cooler. “And I brought lunch, too.”
“I haven’t become your charity case, I hope.”
“Being the resident charity case, I can say no. I just don’t want you to feel bad watching me eat these wonderful leftovers.” She pointed to the T-shirt with the foreign expression on it that stretched tight across his chest. “You wore this the first day I met you.”
He gave it a tug. “One of the guys on the ship donated it to me.”
“Do you know what it means?”
“Sagres is a local beer. I guess nossa selecção literally means ‘our selection’, as in ‘our choice.’ It’s their slogan.”
He pulled a large container of something that sloshed nearer to the hull.
“Did they teach you any dirty words?” she asked.
“I picked up a few phrases. Nothing I’d use around you, even if you didn’t understand.”
She tilted her head. “Tell me one.”
He grinned. “Forget it. Those guys would pin up naked pictures of their girlfriends or centerfolds and talk about them. Want to know what they’d call you?”
She wrinkled her nose. “Maybe. What’s the word for skinny and gawky?”
When he slid his gaze down her body, she swore she could feel it. “You’re not gawky. You’d be a miudas gira.”
“What’s that?”
This time his grin had a teasing quality. “I’ll tell you later.”
It couldn’t be too bad by the warmth in his smile. And he had a gorgeous smile, though it faded too fast. He had already laid out the tools, including, she noticed, two of a few things.
“We’re going to wet out the C-Flex with the resin first.”
She watched him apply a coat of resin and followed suit. “I’m not supposed to be seeing you.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“My mom and sister think you might be dangerous. They don’t think I should be hanging around with you.”
“They’re probably right.”
“You agree with them?”
“Well, you don’t know me. And you’ve led a pretty sheltered life. All I can tell you is that as of now, I’m not harboring any tendencies to do you bodily harm.”
She thought of that kiss again, and the tender way he’d held her just because Q had asked him to. “Let me know if you do. Until then, no one is supposed to know I’m here, okay?”
“How old are you, anyway?”
She followed his gaze to her faded Pooh bear tank top, then folded her arm over it. “Twenty-six.”
“I’ll bet you always do what your parents tell you.”
“Maybe.” When he pinned her down with a stare, she relented. “Usually.”
“Why go against their wishes now?”
“I don’t know.” She couldn’t even explain it to herself.
“You still think your husband sent me?”
“Yes. Though I’m not so sure about the angel part anymore.”
He chuckled. “The kiss convinced you, didn’t it?”
She had to stop thinking about that kiss, because whenever she did, she found herself looking at his mouth. He had a fuller mouth than Wayne, who’d hardly had any mouth at all, just a thin line. But he could kiss pretty well, and he used to say that Maddie had enough mouth for both of them. Chase’s kiss had felt different, intriguing.
She forced her attention back to the dripping resin. “You think I’m immature, don’t you?”
“Mostly I think you’re naïve as hell. I mean, come on, everyone in town calls you Baby. And you don’t even mind.”
“That’s the way it’s always been. I can’t change it now.”
He moved toward the bow of the boat. “Why not? You’ve just gone against their wishes abo
ut seeing me.”
“But that’s different. I want to see you.”
He’d stopped brushing on the resin, and she replayed her words and realized she’d admitted she wanted to be with him.
“But you only want to be with me because you think your husband sent me.” He continued working, avoiding her gaze.
“No. Yes. I don’t know. I’ve never felt like this before. Since I met you, I feel alive.” Her voice went lower. “And I’m not ready for that feeling to go away yet.”
He’d stopped moving again, and his gaze locked to hers. “Maddie, don’t feel that way about me, okay?”
“Why not?”
He paused, then let out a soft breath. “I’m only going to be around for a few weeks.”
“You don’t want me getting attached to you?”
“Maybe I don’t want to get attached to you.”
He was lying, of course. Who would get attached to her? Especially a guy like Chase.
“Baby?” a woman’s voice asked.
Maddie turned to find Wendy standing there. Looking a bit more dignified than she had last night anyway, though her face was pink with shame. She’d always been a little on the heavy side and was one of the people who nagged Maddie about being too skinny.
“Can I talk with you for a moment? Colleen just called me.”
The whole ugly affair rushed back just when she’d managed to push it out of her mind, including the bobbing white butt. Had Bobby admitted his affair to Colleen? He was right: Maddie would rather the whole thing go away than have it blow up in their faces. She set down her brush and walked out into the fresh air.
“Colleen wanted me to check on you. She thinks—well, she knows you’re out here with that guy. She’s worried about you.”
“Will you tell her I’m helping Carol?”
Wendy nodded eagerly. As if she had a choice in covering for Maddie’s tiny lie. “All right then,” she said. “I’ll tell her.”
She started walking back to the marina without saying a word about the night before. Wasn’t that how everything was in Maddie’s life? Nobody talked. Nobody confronted. But this bothered her too much to let go.
“Wendy, aren’t you going to say anything about last night?”
She spun around and walked back to Maddie. “You’re not going to tell anyone, are you? Bobby said you wouldn’t, but I wasn’t sure. It’d kill your sister, and Donnie would be devastated, too.”
“Why, you sure weren’t thinking about Colleen and your husband last night.”
“Baby, you don’t understand, bless you. You and Wayne were happy together. At least you have good memories of being with him. He would have never cheated on you. But Donnie has. I know every time he makes a run to Tallahassee for parts, he’s seeing her. You wouldn’t understand what that does to a woman. And when Bobby kissed me, I lost my head. Colleen’s stifling him. They haven’t had sex in months. What harm does it do if we have a little fun once in a while?”
“What about Q? Bobby’s son, you remember him? A little boy who needs his family to stay together. And that’s not going to happen if you keep seeing Bobby. Colleen’ll find out, kick him out, they’ll get divorced, he’ll slack on child support, and we’ll see his picture on the Duds for Dads program. The next time you get the hots for Bobby, think of Q.”
“Huh?”
“I mean, think of him needing his parents together and a dad he can look up to. Bobby promised he’d break it off if I didn’t tell Colleen.”
“Baby, I didn’t realize how mean you can be.”
Maddie, mean? Yeah, when it came to those she cared about, she could be mean. “I won’t let anything bad happen to Q. And I’ll be as mean as a snake if it does.”
Maddie stalked back to the warehouse and found Chase leaning against the exterior wall. He had an intrigued expression on his face.
“You heard everything?”
He shrugged. “Sounded like you might need some help, but you handled it just fine.”
She rubbed her temples. “I don’t know what to do. Last night I walked in on my brother-in-law bopping her.”
“Bopping?”
“You know…doing it. And he asked me not to tell Colleen because he knew I didn’t want my world upset. But it’s Q I’m worried about.”
“Maddie, you’re something else, you know that?” He headed back to the boat shaking his head.
“That never means anything good.”
He ran his fingers through his hair and turned back to her. “You let everyone talk down to you and probably walk all over you. But when it comes to protecting someone else, you’re a spitfire.”
“Spitfire. Is that good or bad?”
“It’s good, Maddie.” He wasn’t quite smiling, and yet, there was a gleam in his dark eyes. “Maybe too good.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
He leaned against a sawhorse and let out a sigh. “I’ll tell you later.”
CHAPTER 8
During lunch the next day, Chase watched Maddie stare out to the Gulf. She’d drawn her knees up, her arms encircling them. The breeze toyed with her fine hair, but she was too lost in her thoughts to notice. Now that he could see more of her in her blue shorts and tank top, she was even smaller than he’d thought. He was sure he could circle her upper arm with his thumb and forefinger. Her stomach was flat, and he could just see the outline of her ribs.
In some ways, the role of mourning widow fit her. She had big, haunted eyes, and now her full mouth curved downward. He could understand why she’d slid into her child role, complete with her Pooh shirt. As small and fragile as she was, who could resist enfolding her in their arms and trying to make things better? No one.
Including him.
Which was a bad idea. He hadn’t intended to admit he might get too attached to her. Maybe he was only kidding. Or maybe not.
He was a loner. Isn’t that what the strange dream had told him the night before? He’d been on a boat by himself, on the leading edge of morning, and on the edge of the world. For as far as he could see in the gray morning light, there was no sign of humanity. Icebergs floated nearby like frozen polar bears, groaning as they brushed up against each other. He’d felt a soul-deep peace at being alone, though he was nagged by a vague sense of responsibility. There was someone he should have called, someone waiting at home for him. But he didn’t want to break the solitude to hear another human’s voice.
A boat’s motor brought him back to present. A small boat wended into the bay, and its motor whined like a mosquito. Maddie watched it with eyes the hue of burnt honey. She’d hardly touched her lunch, and he’d felt like something of a pig for nearly inhaling his portion.
He leaned across the weathered table. “So, where are you on your sad meter today?”
The question startled her, probably because it came from him. It even got a twitch out of the corner of her mouth. “For a few minutes, I was an eight.”
“Thinking about Wayne?”
“Seeing that little boat reminded me of the Dinky.”
“I heard Q asking to go out on it the other day. Seems doable.”
She shook her head, sending her hair flying in the breeze. “It’d be too hard.” She hugged her legs tighter. The boat coming toward the docks held her gaze. “Maybe he was a little too adventurous, but he was so good to me. Nobody will ever love me like that again.”
“How can you be so sure?”
She rested her cheek against her knee. “Because I’m Baby. Because all through high school not one boy gave me a second look. And those boys are now the men who live here. But I don’t want to think about loving again. It makes me shiver every time someone says, ‘You’ll fall in love and get married again someday. I know it seems impossible now, that you’ll get over Wayne, but you will.’ I don’t want to move on because I don’t want to let him go.”
Chase was at once annoyed with her devotion and sad for her loss. Somehow, he knew he’d never loved anyone with that kind of inte
nsity. He wasn’t sure he could. He had the insane desire to be the one who could love her enough that she’d let Wayne go. Bad idea. Really bad idea. Without knowing who he was, he had no right to get involved with anyone. He shouldn’t even want to get involved, but Maddie touched him in ways he couldn’t explain. Every time he decided to sever their friendship, she showed up all bright and smiling, and he handed her a brush instead of a pink slip.
“We had fun,” she said, looking back out to sea again. “We laughed together all the time. I never worried about things back then. I never worried about hitting anything out there at night or running out of gas on the Dinky, because I knew he’d take care of me. I never thought about people dying. Now every time someone leaves, I worry that something terrible will happen to them, and I’ll never see them again. I imagine things happening, like the lift giving way and crushing my dad, or the oven blowing up and killing Mom. I can’t help it, the images come. Sometimes I even imagine the funeral. I go through it in my mind, maybe to prepare myself. Am I morbid?”
He shrugged. “Probably comes with having someone you love suddenly taken away.”
“When people avoid answering a question, it means they don’t want to say the truth. I’ve noticed that lately.”
He rubbed his nose. “You’re not morbid.”
“You’re itching your nose. You’re lying to make me feel better.”
He looked at his hand and wondered if she was right. “Okay, you’re morbid. But I still think it comes with losing someone suddenly.”
She faced him, her hands clasped together. “Have you ever wanted to relive a moment so bad, you concentrated on it until you almost believed you’d turned back time?”
“Maddie, he’s gone. He’ll never come back, nobody is going to come and magically take away the pain, and if you’re as tough as I think you are, you’ll survive anyway.”
She blinked. “Me tough? Nobody’s ever called me that before.”
He gathered up the trash from lunch and stood. “You’re tough for others. Someday you’ll learn to be tough for yourself.”
How could you hate what someone said to you and like them at the same time? Maddie wondered as they had worked on the boat after lunch. She ran the water in the utility sink, but her gaze was on Chase. An hour before he’d stripped off his shirt, wiped his face, and tossed it aside. She’d had trouble concentrating ever since. It was just curiosity that made her keep sneaking a peek at him. It had been a long time since she’d seen a half-naked man, especially one who looked as delicious as Chase. He was a study in concentration as he worked the resin across the hull, smoothing it with precision. Every now and then he’d look up and catch her watching, and she’d fumble with her brush and pretend she hadn’t been watching.
Heavenly Stranger Page 8
