Chase fisted his hand at his chest. “But I need to know what happened.”
“Here’s what probably happened: Maybe you were seeing Julie, but know she was a manipulative woman. She had an agenda in seeing you, though we may never know what it was. Maybe you found out, and this time your temper got the best of you. A crime of passion, they call it. You certainly didn’t mean to kill her. You have to believe that of yourself. Let it go, Chase. Let me do this for you. For once, accept that I know best.” Allister returned to his address book.
Chase headed to the door. “Where’s Salty’s?”
“You can’t leave this house, not until everything’s in order.”
“I’m going to Salty’s, and if you don’t tell me where it is, I’ll have to ask around.”
Allister gave him a disappointed look Chase was sure he’d seen many times. “Do you want to get caught? You’re a murder suspect.”
“I’ll stay low-key…” He grabbed up Patrick’s mirrored sunglasses. “But I need time to think.”
“It’s at the Harborview Marina. You will be back.”
“Later.”
He’d been a coward with Maddie, but he had to believe he wasn’t one in character. That’s what he had to find out.
Maddie was having a hard time sorting through everything as they walked back out into the sunshine. She was scared for Chase, for what he faced. Scared to find out everything they’d just heard about him was true.
Chase got in on the driver’s side and pulled out a map. A muscle in his jaw ticked.
She pointed at the marina. “Right there.”
He shoved the map to the back seat and took a deep breath as he stared at the house. “Welcome to my dysfunctional family. Not that I can blame Patrick for hating me. Not only for killing her, but for sleeping with her. What a prick I am.”
“We don’t know that. Even Patrick said you don’t like brunettes.”
“Pretty flimsy evidence, Maddie.”
“I’m trying to believe in you here. Work with me.”
“You just need to leave. Go back home and sort out your own family problems.”
“And give up on you? Forget it.”
He took hold of her hand and stared at it for a moment. “I appreciate your standing by me, but I don’t deserve it. Or you. I killed Julie. All the evidence is there.”
“Are you going to run? Or hide out at some cottage in the jungle?”
She wasn’t sure what he heard in her voice, but it got his attention.
“Is that what you think I should do?” he asked.
“Yes. I know it’s wrong, but your dad’s right. Without your memories, you’re a dead man. I’m sure you didn’t mean to kill Julie. You don’t know the whole story. So come back to Sugar Bay. Start a new life there.” She wanted to add with me, but they were friends, nothing more.
“Didn’t you even hear what they were saying about me? I party too much, am apparently irresponsible, and all I cared about was sailing. I couldn’t even keep a marriage together for more than a year and a half. Why would you even want me in your life, especially if I was coward enough to run away?”
“Because you’re not that Chase anymore.”
“Yes, I am, Maddie. I haven’t changed just because I don’t remember. Eventually I’ll return to being Chase Augustine, the jerk they were talking about in there. I already have a hunger for sailing. That hasn’t changed, and neither has the craving for alcohol.”
She couldn’t contain her surprise at that.
“I’ve been wanting a drink since being on the ship. I haven’t taken one yet, but the hunger’s still there. So is my inability to…”
“What?”
“So is all the rest of the old Chase Augustine, and in time, it’ll return.”
“But—”
“Let me finish. If I got angry enough to kill a woman once, who says it won’t happen again? The best thing you can do is get your little butt back home. Jeez, I’ve already corrupted you. You’re willing to harbor a criminal. I’m not dragging you down with me. And…” He put his finger over her mouth as she was about to protest. “you don’t love me. Get that through that pretty head of yours. You don’t. You think your husband sent me to help you, but all I did was tell you like it was. I’m glad you grew because of me, I really am. You’re going to…” He took a breath. “get on with your life, meet a guy, fall in love, the works.” Sounding a bit too much like his father, he said, “Here’s what we’re doing: you’re dropping me off at the marina and going home. Or do you want me to call your family and have them fly in so one of them can drive with you? I’d rather you not drive by yourself anyway.”
He started to get out of the car, presumably to make that call, but she pulled on his shirt sleeve. “Don’t you see you’re just proving that whoever you are deep inside, you are a responsible, caring person? I’m not going to let you tell me what to do with my life. Okay, maybe it was wrong to suggest running away from the charges. It was a panic reaction. Like…telling you I love you. But I’m staying with you until this gets resolved. Because I can’t go back there and live my life without knowing what happened to you. Because we’re friends.” The stubbornness in her expression faded. “We are friends, right?”
The word no faltered on his tongue. They were more than friends, but less than lovers.
She said, “People have been there for me, stood by my side, worried about me my whole life. For the first time, I have someone to stand by and worry about. You keep telling me to grow up. Standing by a friend in need, no matter how bad it gets, is part of growing up, isn’t it?”
He heard himself say, “Yes.”
“Don’t you want a friend?” she whispered, moving closer.
At that moment, he wanted more than a friend. He wanted to hear that she loved him again, more sure this time, and he wanted to draw strength again from holding her naked body in his arms. “Yes,” he said, sealing his fate.
Chase didn’t want to think about what Maddie was coming to mean to him. What he had to focus on was finding out everything he could about his former self and getting to a comfortable place where he could deal with what he’d done. What he had to remember was he didn’t deserve her. And he was not going to drag her down with him, even if she was determined to be dragged.
The marina itself brought no memories either. He slid on the sunglasses and hoped no one recognized him. Or maybe he did want someone to recognize him. Then the decision would be made.
“This is nothing like my place,” she said, taking in the size of the marina. It was twice as large building-wise, with three times as many slips. Rows and rows of them, one after the other, reaching out to the open ocean and crammed with boats. Most of the boats were bigger than even the biggest boat at Sugar Bay. The only thing that reminded him of her marina was the spray of antennas that reflected the sunlight and the smell of fuel.
Salty’s looked just the way he remembered it. It was open to the air, overlooking a portion of the docks and the gas pumps. Ceiling fans lazily swirled the hot, humid air. The barstools were battered, the floor’s wooden planks had years of grime in the creases, and the booth tables were rimmed with frayed lengths of rope. It didn’t bring back any memories, but he had the sudden, overwhelming urge for a drink. He pulled Maddie over to one of the booths at the end.
There weren’t many people there, only a couple of guys who looked as weathered as the rest of the place. When he looked across the table at Maddie, she was staring at the tabletop. Dozens of pictures were scattered under a yellowed layer of shellac. He scanned them, too, searching for familiar faces, like the ones he’d seen in the flash of memory. It didn’t take him long to find one of himself, raising a shot glass.
“Your hair is short,” she said, pointing to another one of him laughing it up at one of the booths. “With the glasses and long hair, you really don’t look the same.”
He sensed somebody standing next to the table and looked up. It was the face he’d been searching f
or, the sexy blonde. She smiled. “Hi. Can I get you…” She stared at him.
Maddie cleared her throat. “A couple iced teas please.”
She didn’t even look at her, still staring at Chase with a mixture of shock and hope. She slid into the booth next to Maddie. “Oh, my God, Chase, is that you?”
Her name tag read Lila. The woman who’d kissed him in the memory, who still had long hair and bright green eyes and a chest that peeked seductively out of her cropped top.
It was no use denying it, not to the woman who’d once shared his bed. “Yeah, it’s me.”
Her eyes watered, and she reached over and lifted his shades. She made a choking sound, jumped out of her seat and leaped onto his lap. He’d never been hugged so hard. “You’re back!” She kissed him right on the mouth. “I told them you couldn’t die, that you were the sailor who’d live forever.” She touched his face. “But…how?”
Maddie’s expression gave nothing away. He wanted to shift Lila onto the seat next to him, but that seemed rude considering she’d once been his wife and shew as so happy to see him. Plus, he didn’t want her to give him away just yet. “I was picked up by a ship, spent two months at sea, then a few months finding my way back here.”
“Why didn’t you just call me? I would have come for you, you know that.”
“No, I didn’t. When I fell out of the boat, I hit my head. I don’t remember much about who I am.” He ran his fingers back through his hair. “I’m trying to put the pieces back together.”
“You don’t know who I am?” That motivated her to slide off his lap, though she remained next to him.
“The only thing I remember is us doing shots at that bar. You leaning over and kissing me.”
He saw Maddie flinch. She looked so different compared to Lila, who was taller, lusher, and richly tanned. But Maddie didn’t lose any of her own brilliance for Lila’s shine.
“I guess that was back when we were married,” he said.
Lila laughed, but her expression was one of study. “You really don’t remember me?”
“No. Sorry.”
“We’ve been throwing back shots at that bar, and kissing, since I was old enough to do either. Just because we weren’t married anymore didn’t mean we stopped…” She glanced at Maddie. “well, you know…being friends.”
“This is Maddie,” he said. “She brought me here. She’s helped me put some things together.” He was going to say they were friends, but in light of Lila’s interpretation of that relationship, he decided not to.
Lila smiled at Maddie, but her eyes were summing her up. “That was nice of you.” She turned back to Chase. “Do you know about—”
He nodded. “I don’t remember much about that either. Maybe you can help me.”
“Anything,” she said with conviction. Apparently, they’d had a good divorce.
“You’re saying that we…” He gestured, unable to say the words in front of Maddie. “You and I.”
“Well, you know…you don’t know. On and off, yeah. I mean, I’ve had relationships here and there, and of course, not then. But yeah, you and me…” She smiled.
“How about just before I disappeared?”
Lila’s hands fisted on the table. “I don’t believe you were seeing Julie, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“That’s what I’m asking.”
She reached up and touched his hair. “I haven’t seen your hair this long since we were teenagers.” She forced her hands back down to the table. “Sorry, I can’t stop touching you. I can’t believe you’re here.” She glanced at Maddie, then back at him. “You didn’t even like Julie. I mean, well, you know, you flirted with everyone as a rule, harmless flirting. Maybe you did that with her once in a while, but you didn’t mean it. Plus, she was your brother’s wife. You just wouldn’t do that.”
“Well, that’s good to hear.” Because Maddie was looking a little lost over there by herself, he reached out and took her hand. “I’m trying to figure out what happened that night so I can decide what to do. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone I’m here.”
“Hey, Lila!” one of the men at the bar said. “Where’s my beer already?”
“Be right back,” she said, sliding out of the booth.
Chase realized he was fiddling with Maddie’s fingers, looking at them and not her.
“She’s beautiful,” Maddie said.
“She’s okay.”
“You must have loved her a lot.”
“I don’t know. I don’t remember her other than a brief memory.”
Lila returned a minute later, sliding back in beside him. “You probably need one of these,” she said, bearing a small tray with shots and limes.
“No, I don’t.” He pushed the tray away.
“No shots?” She offered one to Maddie, who politely refused.
“Well, I do.” She knocked one back with the grace of one who’d done it a thousand times. “Where are you staying, and please don’t tell me it’s with your father?”
“I don’t know. He wants us to stay with him, but—”
“And what Allister wants, he thinks he can get. You’re staying at my place. Both of you. It’s not big, but we can figure out the sleeping arrangements later.”
Sleeping arrangements. That was going to be interesting. “I don’t want to put you out—” he said, knowing Maddie wouldn’t like this.
“Come on, Chase, I love you. You may not remember me, but there’s no way you’re not letting me help you. If you’re not comfortable at my place,” this she directed to Maddie, “I’ll arrange to have my father’s boat put into the water. You used to crew for him on that boat. He’s in Europe for a month, so he won’t even know about it.”
Chase asked, “Why would you help me like this? It’s beginning to look like I’m a murderer.”
“Because despite the evidence, I don’t believe you’d kill anyone, at least not intentionally.”
Maddie loudly breathed out in relief. “I don’t think so either.”
The two shared a look of solidarity. Lila pulled her keys out of her pocket and slipped one off the ring. “You probably don’t have your key anymore. You know where my place is…you don’t, do you?” She gave him directions to a little apartment complex around the corner. “Make yourselves comfortable. Your friend here looks like a rum runner sitting at a long-abandoned table.” She gave Maddie a warm smile. “I’ve got to get back to work. If you don’t want to be recognized, you’d better scram. You have—well, you know…had too many friends here.”
“How did you recognize me?”
She gave him a sly smile. “I’d never forget that mouth. And maybe that won’t be the case for the others, but you don’t want to take a chance.”
“You’re right.” Suddenly, he was sure that he didn’t want to be caught yet. Maybe Lila was the reason he felt so strongly about going there. But now he needed to stay on the down-low. He gave Lila a quick peck on the cheek as he followed her out of the booth. “Thank you.”
He felt guilty for doing that, especially when he saw Maddie’s forlorn expression.
“I’ll bring some pizza around four when I get off the lunch shift.” Lila gave Chase another hard hug, then went to greet a new customer.
Chase gave Maddie a chagrinned look. “It’s better than staying at my father’s house.”
“It’s fine.”
She’d shrunk into herself, walking beside him with her arms crossed in front of her. He wanted to kiss her until she felt secure again, but he couldn’t do that. It wasn’t fair to make her secure when security was as elusive as a stiff breeze in a becalmed sea.
CHAPTER 18
“You were a lousy husband,” Lila said a few hours later over pepperoni pizza. “A great friend, wonderful sailor…terrific lover. Lousy husband.” She got up and returned with a bottle of relish. “Still put this on everything?”
He scooped some out and spread it over his pizza. “Yep.”
Maddie watched
Lila watching Chase. There were times when she’d felt jealous over Wayne, like at the Schaeffers’ Christmas party when Darcy got drunk and flirted with him. But this was different. First, Maddie had no claim to Chase. No history with him other than their several weeks and one wonderful night of lovemaking before everything split apart. Her one consolation was that Lila wasn’t Darcy, not in terms of open flirting. Lila was just as pretty, maybe even prettier. And she had more claim on Chase than Maddie ever would. The other consolation was that Chase couldn’t remember ever being with Lila. Yet.
“I didn’t…hit you or anything, did I?” Chase asked Lila.
“You had a temper as hot as a fire eater shot, but you didn’t go around hitting people. When you exploded, it was verbally. Once in a while you’d get into a snarl at Salty’s. But you never ever hit a woman.”
The apartment was small, or maybe cozy was a better word. Furniture secondhand, carpet faded, but Lila had style. Warm lighting, lots of throw pillows, and flower arrangements added a nice touch. What she didn’t have was a dining table, so they ate around her coffee table.
“Why’d we split?” Chase asked after washing down a bite of pizza with Dr. Pepper. That was a new preference apparently. “How was I lousy?”
She slugged back Amstel Light right out of the bottle. “Difference of opinion. I wanted a husband who was around, and you wanted to be out on a boat.”
“Sorry about that,” he said.
“I got over it. Like I said, we got along better after we got divorced. I didn’t sit around waiting and worrying about you. When you blew into town, you knew where I was.”
Chase leaned forward and rubbed his face. “Sounds romantic.”
“It sounds skanky, but what we had was genuine.”
Maddie could see them together, Lila’s light hair contrasting Chase’s dark hair, making them a striking couple.
“So,” this Lila directed to Maddie, “where do you, well, you know, fit into all this?”
Heavenly Stranger Page 22
